regretful moments
I rested my feet on top of the headboard and I had been staring at them with the baby blue wall as its background. The sun beamed through the curtain and I already took a shower a few minutes ago.
I had the most awful feeling today—I wasn't happy but I wasn't sad as well—just empty inside my heart and I hated it; like it just conquered my whole emotions and ended up getting slightly sad. I had been thinking about the things around—the bed, the wall, the stacked up packages that I hadn't open and myself that was fucked up.
"Should I open it?" I asked myself while taking a look at them. I sighed heavily once I realised how tired I was. I didn't feel like walking or talking—all I wanted to do was resting.
However, my phone rang and it was obviously Jin. Although I wasn't in the mood, I still picked the phone because I was a fucked up woman who wanted his love. "Wendy Darling, do you mind get out from your room?"
"I don't know Jin, I'm pretty much tired today," it took me awhile to get up from my bed and then I walked over to the window. I pulled the curtain a little and there he was standing in front of his car while holding his phone.
He chuckled lowly through the line. "I'm really sorry to hear that but love, there's something I need to show you..." I watched him from my room and I loved how he called me love and how he grinned while calling me love. It was as if I was watching a movie when the guy waited for a girl to come out to go out for their first date.
Sadly, it was my reality and we weren't going on our first date. "Fine, just give me time to change—"
"Don't hang up the phone!"
I laughed a little. "Why?" I asked to know the reason.
"I uh," he scratched his nape like he was shy out of a sudden. "I miss your voice, Wendy."
His statement made my heart pounded fast; I hated how he easily made me love him all over him again. "I'll place it on the table and put it on speaker, so speak what you want to speak."
I placed my phone the table and turned the speaker mode like just what I told him. "No, I want you to speak...I miss your voice, Wendy." I had to admit that it melted me whenever he said it.
"Well I have nothing else to say," I told him with a little laugh. I walked to my closet and pulled away a few dresses. "So what happened yesterday by the way?" I asked while checking myself with the dresses over the mirror.
"That—I have to tell you that later," he said carefully. I nodded my head to myself once I found a perfect dress for me to wear. "What are you wearing, love?"
I hummed softly while pulling my shirt over my head. Then I pulled my short pants down until it was on the floor. "It's a secret, Jin..." I giggled and then I wore a pastel purple sweater and a black skirt with white polka-dots printed.
"Tsk, be sure to wear something warm because it's cold outside," he warned me.
I smiled to myself once I looked at my reflection on the mirror. I put on a light makeup and then I brushed my hair to tie them into a ponytail. "Yes sir!" I pulled my old blue plea jacket—the one I wore when I first came here. "I'm done; want me to hang up now?"
"No! I want to hear your voice,"
I let out a chortle and then I picked up my phone and turned off the speaker mode. I put the phone closer to my ears. "Gosh, did you miss me that much?" I teased and then I put on my blue sneakers.
***
As always we hit the road to somewhere so far from the city while listening to some random songs from the radio station. "I know that you won't tell me, but where are we going?"
He shook his head like a little boy. "It won't be special if I tell you, right?" he glanced to give me a wink.
"Yeah, but can't you just tell me a little? Please?" I scooted myself a little closer to him as I batted my eyelashes.
He shrugged his shoulders. "Alright, we're going into the woods," he told me a little and even though it was a little, he blew my mind.
"Why are we going into the woods? Are you going to kill me and bury me in the woods?" I exaggerated after I put everything together.
"Oops, how'd you figure that out?" he playfully rolled his eyes. "You said you're tired, close your eyes and I'll wake you up once we arrive."
And since he insisted, I slept for a good few minutes and woke up when I noticed the car stopped to park. My eyes widen when I realised that we were really in the woods. "Jin, if you're going to do something to me—Jin? Jin!"
He was not in the car; why didn't I hear him going out from the car. Did he ditch me in the woods? Did he seriously left me alone the car and made suffocate with my fears and the air that somewhat creept me out. I mean I was in the woods and it was dark and everything seemed creepy and I was alone and I was in the car alone with no music. Why did he turn off the music and why was I so scared to turn the music on?
I tried to calm myself but I heard noises that I knew that those sounds weren't supposed to be in the woods. Could it some kidnappers? I mean I know I wasn't a kid anymore but—"AHHHH!" my door was suddenly opened.
"AHHHH!"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I didn't realise that I kicked his stomach until he fall on the ground. "Are you alright, I'm so sorry, Jin."
He laughed out loud once he stood back up. "Were you scared?" he asked me while brushing the dirt on his pants. "I apologise for not waiting for you in the car but I think we should go now before night."
"Shit, right. I'm sorry," I face palmed myself in my head as I got down from the car. "Where are we going again?"
His lips formed a sweet smile before his hand slid in mine. "Somewhere special," he simply said without further information. We were walking forward with our hands intertwined and even though I was still terrified that we were in the woods.
He kept squeezing my hand whenever we heard something weird. He would whisper a few comforting words just to calm me down. It was quite a long journey but it was great since we were holding hands, alone, in the woods while talking about whatever that surrounded us.
I saw something as we went farther. It was like a roof but small. As we went closer, I realised that it was a cottage that Jin had told me before. "Oh wow!" I was awestruck by the beautiful view of the cottage—it was small but floral.
I remembered his description about the cottage. "I found it, I asked my grandmother and a few of my uncles of it," he explained. "They told me that it still exists and so they gave me the address."
"It's beautiful,"
"Wait until we get inside," I tightened the grip to stop him from walking. "Don't worry, I bought this cottage already."
"Are you serious?"
He nodded his head while unlocking the door. "I talked to the government and asked who owned it; fortunately it was still under my aunt's name. So I went to Korea and paid a few thousands."
My jaws dropped in so much surprised. "So, you're planning to live here?" I asked such an idiotic question.
"Of course not, I want to give it to you," I was even more and more surprised by his sudden stupidity answer.
I wanted to scold him but as we stepped inside, I was smiling like a little girl—it made me felt like I was in a fairy-tale. The designs in the cottage were so old fashioned and classic; like the ones we watched in Cinderella or Snow White. "Why?" I asked him.
"Wendy isn't there something you wanted to tell me?" his question was the same when we danced in the grass.
I turned around to face him. "Do you?" he stared deep inside my eyes as I was just watching him.
"Have you opened the packages yet?" I shook my head slowly and then he just chuckled lowly and rather hurtfully. "I understand—ah, and here." He handed me a cassette that had 'favourites to miss favourite' written on it.
"Thanks," I mumbled, suddenly I felt a little giddy about it. "I'll be sure to listen to them," I told him with a wink.
He smiled weakly and nodded his head slightly. "Hey, um do you really have nothing to tell me? Just something and you can change everything." he asked one more time. I shook my head and he just sighed sadly. "Cool because I have something to tell you," he bit his lower lips as he tried to act like he was fine. "I'm getting married with Yoonha, this March."
The time must have had stopped after he finished talking. I looked at him and waited for him to laugh because I didn't want it to be true. I blinked my eyes and waited for more seconds before a tear was about to escaped. "Oh," I said softly.
I forced the brightest smile I had but it turned out bad. I swallowed my tears as I held them. "And this is the invitation," he pulled out a white small envelope from his pocket coat.
I took it and smiled once more. One teardrop slipped from my eyes and quickly I wiped them away before he sees it. "Congratulation..." I muttered under my breath. "You know what, I think we should back."
"Wendy," he caught my wrist when I was about to turn around. "Is there really something that you wanted to tell me?" he asked me once more, making my whole world crashed.
I lifted my head as I looked into his eyes. "What if I do? Jin, what is it you want me to tell you?" I was getting pissed by his question, by his presence and just by knowing that I was fucked up.
"Your feelings, Wendy, do you like me?" I pulled my hand away from his grip. I faced him with a tear that trickled down my eyes.