My eyes shot open to the odd sound of my alarm clock buzzing over and over again next to me.
"What the fuck-?" I groaned, lifting my arm up to hit the device numerous times. I burried my face into my pillow, sighing. I flipped over and looked out the window, to see it was surprisingly kind of cloudy outside. Even in the middle of downtown, I still had a pretty good view of the sky. I sat up, and grabbed my glasses. I tiredly slumped my back a little, looking around the room.
It's monday, and I have school. Break is over, and I have to go back to Hell.
The last time I saw anyone from that place was when Brooke and I crashed Nick's party... which wasn't really the best night for me. I'm not stupid; I know people are gonna look and point fingers at me. Well, maybe they won't physically point their fingers at me..
maybe they'll do it metaphorically. Somehow.
I grabbed my phone off the ground, and flipped it open to see there was a text from Brooke.
"Good morning Ash!" It said. Instantly I started reading it in her voice. "I know the last time we saw each other was only a couple days ago... but I forgot to tell you what I probably should have told you before. Look, school starts up today... and I know you know exactly what I'm thinking about, and what I'm about to say. Don't let any one give you any shit about anything, okay? Keep your head up, work hard and move on. I'll see you soon :) x"
My lips instantly curled into an idiotic smile, the cold and tiredness instantly fading from my heart and my mind. I sat there, re-reading the simple message over and over again. It was weird, to just wake up to a text message with so much thought by somebody else. That's never happened to me before.
"God," I breathed happily. Brooke has this ability to literally make my day in an instant; its insanely reassuring sometimes.
I stood up, and thought of what to say back to her message as I walked around my room to find something to wear. I decided on a flannel and a pair of skinny jeans that were on the floor, and I was too lazy to put my contacts in this morning. Oh well, my glasses give me better vision anyway. I grabbed my backpack and headed for the door, too anxious to eat anything. I took my phone into my hands and replied to Brooke's text message.
"And I say the same to you, right? Remember, you're beautiful and all they'll ever be are ugly souls." I sent.
...
I walked up to the enterance of Palo Verde, an unusual beating in my chest. I stood there, gazing at the brick walls and opening that leads to the courtyard. Knowing Brooke, she won't be here for about 20 more minutes or so. I peered in to see the open area only had a few students in it, none of which were any of my small group of friends. I sighed, and stuffed my hands in my pockets.
I walked in, and I kept my eyes on the tree that sat at the other side of the courtyard. It looked so far away, or maybe that's just what my eyes made me think. I dropped my gaze to my shuffling feet, and kept my head down as I walked, alone. I thought I heard a voice come from a group of people that stood about 10 feet from me, but that's obviously my mind again.
Right?
I couldn't help but glance to the side of me, and my stomach dropped when I saw maybe about 10 guys (football players, obviously) staring at me. I stopped dead in my tracks and stared back at them, my eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. They all stared at me, I stared back. I was about to just shake my head and keep walking, but I stopped when one of them spoke up.
"I would keep walking if I were you," the guy said. "Wouldn't want Nick to show up and make you go on a rampage again."
"Excuse me?" I asked, my fists tightening into tight balls at my side. The group of annoyingly douchey guys just laughed.
"I heard you broke his nose." He said.
"Along with like, five others." Another added.
"Well," I said as causally as I could. "I would sure hope I broke his nose. And I have no fucking clue what other people you're talking about." I raised my eyebrows at them, but they all went quiet. I puffed a frustrated breath out of my nose, and turned to keep walking.
"Hey Ashton, wait," I heard a sincere voice behind me. I spun around, and looked back at the same guy who had called me out just a minute ago. His tone of voice had softened, and it confused me.
"Yes?" I replied.
"Can you hook me up with some crack?" He said, making the people he stood with burst into laughter. Instantly, my jaw tensed and my eyes widened, my heart starting to pound.
"What?" I asked.
"I mean, I know you know where to get some," he replied with a smirk. "Or was it ecstasy? Maybe both?"
People started to laugh, and it was in that moment I felt like I did at Nick's party: shameful, lonely... a freak. I didn't know what to do at first, beside just stare back at them in disbelief at the fact that they would literally call me out about something they know absolutely nothing about when they don't even know me. I knew what they were talking about; it was obvious. But, after a couple moments, I spoke up.
"Were you there, dude?" I asked, stepping closer to them. The guy shook his head no, but the one beside him nodded.
"I was," he laughed. "I saw the whole thing."
"So you saw what I did to your friend Nick?" I asked nonchalantly, tilting my head to the side. The guy's eyes widened slightly, and he nodded.
"I will literally do the same to you," I muttered, narrowing my eyes at him. "And snap your neck along with it." My tone of voice was cold and harsh; I guess I'm putting on that fake attitude I do when I'm around Michael's dealer and other people like that. Of course I'm not gonna snap his neck, even though this guy's literally asking for it.
"I..." his voice trailed off. "...I'm not scared of you. You can't do anything to me. Not when Brooke could walk right in and agree with everyone that you're a freak."
"Wh-what?" I shrunk back, my voice cowarding into a worried cry.
"Huh?" He replied. "Dude calm the fuck down. I said that I'm not scared of you, because you can't do anything to me on school property."
My eyes widened, and I stepped back from the group of strangers. They looked at me with confused expressions, and I felt my hands start to shake at my sides. Why did I hear the exact opposite to what he said?
Oh right, my mind.
"Okay," I finally spoke up, tensing up my voice and stature. "Well I'd watch your back, jerk. I'll fuck you up, and the rest you." I shifted my eyes to the rest of the group, and they all looked kind of intimidated by me. Wow, that's surprising.
I turned on my heels, and stomped off to where I was intentionally going to. "Just think of Brooke's text." An astonishingly helpful voice said in my head. I sighed, but agreed with it.
I finally settled down onto the bench next to the tree, and slung my backpack off my shoulder and leaned back. I ran my hands through my hair, and looked around the courtyard to see no sign of Brooke whatsoever. Fuck.
I slumped my back, and closed my eyes. I was so incredibly tired, I wouldn't be surprised if I fall asleep in 3rd period. History is borning anyways.
"You." I heard a familiar voice approach me. My muscles tensed up and my eyes shot open. Jessie stood there, her blonde hair tied into a pony tail and a ton of whatever that shit that girls put on their face is. Foundation or whatever.
"You know that really isn't your color," I said casually, gesturing to her face. "You're a little bit more pale than that, dontcha think?"
"Shut the fuck up," She spat.
"Hey man you're the one who came over here." I replied. Surprisingly, my voice and tone were controlled, and my muscles actually relaxed. I guess thinking of Brooke's text this morning is helping.
"I know..." Jessie's voice trailed off. "...I just wanted to see how you were doing."
How I'm doing?
"Why would you like to know." I muttered, my eyes dropping to the ground.
"Oh.. you know," she replied. Her voice was full of so much fake innocence. "I mean, I know I would sure feel like a weirdo after pulling a stunt like that."
I looked back up at her, my muscles tensing back up and my foot tapping nervously on the ground. Of course she wasn't being sincere right now, who was I kidding?
"Were you there, Jessie?" I snapped, leaning forward in my seat.
"I was there," she replied. "But not in the room."
"Huh. How nice," I said casually. I sat back, and cocked an eyebrow at her. "So tell me, Jessie. How many guys did you throw yourself at?" As soon as the words left my mouth, her jaw tensed up and she glared at me.
"How many hours of sleep did you loose?" She retorted, a slight smirk on her face. I felt my jaw tense and my glare instensify with hers, until we both sat there in silence.
"Fuck off, Jessie." I mumbled.
"Gladly," She replied. She turned, and started to walk off. "Fucking prick."
I leaned forward after her, but I stopped myself. I thought of Brooke, and I sat back. I sighed, and shook my head.
...
*Brooke's POV*
By now it was almost the end of 6th period, and I couldn't be happier to get the first day back over with. It seemed to go by so slowly, and I just wanted to go back to my place with Ashton and eat bananas and learn about shapes. I had gotten to school with just a couple minutes to spare, and Ashton seemed a little out of it. I hoped it was nothing to fret about, but of course I worry.
Now we were in english, and I couldn't be more excited to get the fuck out of this classroom. I've been sat next to Jessie, recieving all the uncomfortable and mean vibes she sent off to me, trying to seem interested in whatever was being taught at the front of the classroom. As much as I tried to pay attention to what Mr. Perkins was saying, all I could do was stare at Ashton. His head rested in his hand, his eyes closed and his foot tapping on the floor. I twirled my pencil in my hand, pursing my lips together in thought and boredum.
"Okay class," I heard Mr. Perkins' voice. "So your final on 'The Great Gatsby' is coming up, so we're going to have a pop quiz."
I groaned, along with the rest of the class. Of course I finished all my homework and stuff over the break, but if I had known we would be having a pop quiz I would have fucking studied for it. I glanced over to Ashton, to see his head still resting on his hand and his eyes now struggling to open. He looked over to me, and a tired smile formed on his face. I shot one back, and tilted my head to the side.
"It's nothing huge," Mr. Perkins said as he walked around the room and passed out stacks of paper to each row. "But just a little practice I guess."
I took a half sheet of paper from the girl infront of me, and quickly wrote down my name and period and date. I glanced down at the first question, and instantly my eyes widened.
"With whom did Nick have a brief, romantic relationship with?" The question read. I knew they were talking about the characters in the book, obviously, but it still made my stomach churn. I couldn't help but glance over to Ashton, to see him staring at me with a sly smile.
"Brooke did." He mouthed, obviously referring to the same question I was on. His dimples faintly popped up on his cheeks, and I just shook my head and tried not to laugh. Ashton's tongue ran over his lips for a brief second as he looked back to his paper, his eyebrows coming together in thought. I looked down at my quiz as well, but I couldn't concentrate. I blindly filled in the next few answers, and ended up looking back up at Ashton. His pencil seemed to dance across the paper, and the look in his eyes made it look like this was almost too easy for him.
I was surprised to see him put his pencil down, turn the half page over and lean back in his seat. I looked up at the clock, and it had only been 4 minutes. I sighed, and looked back at the 10 questions I still had to answer before the bell rings.
"Where did Nick and Tom go to school?"
I wrinkled my face in confusion and frustration; why the fuck do I need to know that? I pursed my lips together, and looked over to Mr. Perkins. He seemed pretty occupied at his desk, so once again my eyes shot over to Ashton. His gaze met mine, and he raised his eyebrows at me.
"School?" I mouthed. I watched as Ashton's body stayed absolutely still, but his eyes shot over to Mr. Perkins, then back to me.
"Yale." He mouthed back.
"You sure?" I silently said again. Ashton opened his mouth to confirm his answer, but before he could mouth anything to me we were both interrupted by Mr. Perkins' voice.
"Ashton," He snapped. Ashton's gaze shot over to him, and he slumped back in his seat.
"What?" Ashton replied.
"What do you think you're doing?" He asked, his voice harsh. Shit, we're fucking doomed. I turned my head to face my work, but I kept my eyes glued to Ashton as he sat there, no emotion in his face whatsoever.
"Nothing much," Ashton said nonchalantly. "Just sitting here. English class. You know I think I just finished a quiz...the usual."
"Who were you talking to?" Mr. Perkins asked, walking to the middle of the classroom to stare Ashton down. I could see how hard the teacher was staring at him, but Ashton didn't seem to be phased by it at all.
"No one," Ashton shrugged.
"Yes you were," Mr. Perkins replied coldly. "I saw you."
"No you didn't."
"Yeah, I did," Mr. Perkins said, his voice full of anger and frustration. "And who do you think you are, talking back to your teacher?"
"So you can talk back to your student?" Ashton retorted, raising his eyebrows. I couldn't help but raise mine as well, completely amused by Ashton's smartass attitude. Smartass in a good way, obviously. "Sorry sir," Ashton said casually. "But I'm just as much as a citizen of the glorious United States of America as you, so I can say whatever the hell I want."
Mr. Perkins was about to speak up, but all actions were ceased when the phone began to ring. Mr. Perkins sighed, and walked over to his desk. He put the phone up to his ear, and spoke in a hushed voice for a few moments. After he forefully put the phone down, he turned to the class. "I'll be right back," He muttered, heading towards the door. "Don't do anything stupid." As soon as the door shut behind him, the room felt awkward.
"Actually you're Australian." Jessie's sarcastic voice interrupted. All eyes went to her, including mine.
"Actually I'm still a fucking citizen." Ashton said back.
"Actually no one wants you in our country." Jessie laughed.
"Actually you're not a part of this." Ashton replied, glaring at her.
"Actually you're really freaking pathetic." Jessie spat.
"Actually you're just a slut." I blurted out, turning my body to face her. As soon as the words left my mouth, everyone bursted out in laughter. Jessie looked at me, with so much hatred and humiliation in her eyes. I started to laugh too, mentally patting my self on the back. I looked over to Ashton, to see his lips curled in, him obviosuly trying to contain his laughter. His eyes went from me to Jessie, and he just sarcastically shrugged at her.
I looked back to her, and she was glaring at me with her lips pressed tight together and her jawline tensed. I just shrugged to her as well, not caring that I was laughing at her. She fucking deserves it. The chorus of laughter died down throughout the room, and I watched as Ashton got up, grabbed his backpack and walked over to me.
"I mean, it's kinda true." He said to Jessie, his tone full of sarcasm and triumph. With that he grabbed me by the hand, and we raced out before the bell rang, cracking up.
"Whatthe fuck was that?" Ashton laughed.
"I had to say something!" I replied, tightening my grip around his hand. "She was bitchin again."
"Yeah, she does that a lot doesn't she?" He chuckled, looking down at me. I looked back up at him, and I was relieved to see that now that I look closer at him, he doesn't seem as tired as before. I nodded, and kissed his cheek before starting off towards the parking lot.
...
We pulled up to my house, and I was both happy to be out of school but anxious to go in there. Being around my parents since last week has literally been the most uncomfortable thing I've ever had to do. It sucks, really. I can feel the awkwardness when I wake up, and when I go into the kitchen, and when my whole family is sat at dinner. I really hope I don't make it too obvious that I know pretty much everything, because I still don't know what the fuck to do about it. I want to ask Ashton, but I don't want to worry him. I really can't worry him about this, he doesn't really have anything to do with it.
Why put more weight on his shoulders with my isssues when he already has so many?
I looked over to Ashton, to see him staring out my window to my house, a look of mixed emotions in his eyes. He didn't say anything, just kind of sat there awkwardly, slightly rocking back and fourth. His eyes shot over to me, and he shined a quick smile at me.I eyed him, beause by now I can tell when he's anxious. Now would be one of those times.
"It's because my mom's in there, right?" I asked. Ashton stared at me for a couple moments without saying anything.
"...Yeah," He finally sighed. "I guess so."
"You wanna go to your place?" I asked. I reached over and locked my hand with his, and looked at him for an answer.
"No," he shook his head. He looked over to me, and pecked my lips a few times. "Let's go!"
We laughed, and both got out of the car. I was disappointed my mom had a day off today; usually she's at work at this time of the day. I also really hoped my brother wouldn't be home either, because it's been kind of hard to interact with him since last week. I can't just tell him what I know, because he's too young. He's 11 years old for crying out loud.
We got to the door, and I dug through my bag to find my house keys. Ashton draped his arm over my shoulders and pulled me to him, kissing the top of my head. I grabbed my key and looked up at him, smiling before locking my lips with his for a couple moments. I pulled away and jammed the key into the door before pushing it open. I heard rustling in the kitchen, and I could guess it was my mother. I took Ashton's hand in mine and we slowly walked further into the house.
"Hi mom." I mumbled, trying to seem as cheery as I could. We entered the kitchen, and instanltly Ashton's grip on my hand tightened. My mother turned, and her face lit up.
"Hey!" she said happily. She looked to Ashton with a smile, and the look in her eyes started to fill with confusion at the fact that Ashton was completely silent. I looked up at him, and I had to try and hide the fact that my eyes just widened to be twice their size.
Literally, it looked like he was about to start balling. It looked like he was about to break down on the floor, and sob. He stared at my mother, with his eyes wide and his eyebrows furrowed in what looked like deep thought and sadness. I looked back at my mom, and she met my gaze and shot me a look that said, "What the hell just happened?"
"O-oh," Ashton finally spoke up, shaking his head a little bit. "Hi."
"You okay there?" My mother laughed, shooting him a simpathetic smile. Ashton laughed along, nodding his head.
"Hi Ashton." I heard my brother's voice beside us. I glanced over, to see he's been sitting at the kitchen this whole time doing his homework. I watched as a smile spread across Ashton's face, his previous look of desperation fading.
"Hey bud!" He said happily, sitting down next to him. They did some bro-handshake or whatever guys usually do when they see each other, and I looked to my mother to see her face change from confused to tranquil, as we both watched Ashton lean forward in his seat, talking to my little brother about something. Well, that insantly warmed my heart up.
"Ash," I said a couple moments later. He looked over to me, and I glanced upstairs to indicate that we should get up there. Ashton nodded, and grabbed his back pack and slung it over his shoulder.
"Well if you get it," Ashton said to my brother, turning around to face him and walk backwards as I exited the room. "Tell your sister to invite me over because I-"
"Ashton!" I laughed.
"I'm sorry!" he replied, stumbling after me as I headed upstairs. "I can't help that I dominate at Grand Theft Auto."
"Right, I can't wait for the day you play Grand Theft Auto with my eleven year old brother."
"He's eleven?" Ashton asked, shutting my bedroom behind him and leaning against it. I nodded, slumping down on the edge of my bed. Ashton's gaze dropped to the floor, and he just nodded slowly. The atmosphere in the room shifted to a little uncomfortable, and it was in that moment that I could tell Ashton was either thinking of something, or he was really tired.
"Tired?" I asked. Ashton looked over to me, and nodded. He walked over to me, and sat down next to me, putting one of his hands on my thighs.
"Yeah," He sighed. "Just a little. I'm not really used to waking up at six o'clock...you know?"
I nodded, and rested my head on his shoulder.
"Ready to get back to work?" I laughed.
"Fuck that," Ashton chuckled, bringing my body closer to his. I turned so my legs laid across his thighs, and I brought my lips to his for a couple seconds. "Do we have to?"
"Well do you want to graduate?" I giggled.
"I don't even see the point of that anymore!" He laughed. "Like shit I'm not going to college...why graduate?"
I thought about that a moment, and I could see where he's coming from. I know he doesn't want to go to college, I don't blame him. I really don't think he needs to, since he'll be famous one day. At least, I hope he'll be famous.
"Ashton?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.
"Hm?"
"Where do you see 5 Seconds of Summer," I replied, trailing my fingertips from his cheek, down to his shoulder. "In exactly two years from now?"
"Two years," Ashton repeated, his eyes wandering up to the ceiling. "I'm not really sure. Maybe making music...maybe playing little shows...maybe absolutely nothing."
"Nothing?!" I asked, shocked. "Come on, Ash. I've seen those views on Youtube-"
"Really?" Ashton asked, his face lighting up.
"Yes!" I laughed. "I'm telling you, you guys are gonna go far."
"I don't know..." His voice trailed off, and he just shrugged. He looked over to me, and smiled. "Shall we do math now?"
...
By the time it was 6:30, I was walking down the stairs behind Ashton, unfortunately walking him to the door to leave. Of course I didn't want him to leave, but I still need to do all my homework and stuff. We stopped infront of my front door, and frowned down at each other.
"I'm gonna miss you..." Ashton said, his lips curling into a cheeky smile. "...instert any other cheesy boyfriend phrases."
I laughed, and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Don't worry," I said. "I'll be cheesy too and say I'll miss you more-"
"Brooke?" My mother's voice interrupted me. I pulled away from Ashton and I's embrace, and turned around to see her walking into the living room. She had a warm smile on her face, and it actually looked sincere. Wow, she must really like Ashton.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Well..." her voice trailed off, and she shyly smiled at both of us. "...I was just gonna carry ouy our plans and whatnot, and I wanted to know if Ashton wanted to come over for dinner sometime." She looked over to Ashton, who had a look on his face that said "I have no idea what the fuck to say."
"M-me?" Ashton suttered, his arm slipping off my shoulders so his hand could find mine. My mother laughed, and nodded.
"Yes of course!" She replied."I feel like I barely know you! And...uh, so does Brooke's father. Right, Brooke?"
"Yeah." I said coldly. I didn't mean for mean for my tone to be so harsh, I guess it slipped out like that.
"Oh, um-"
"I mean," My mother interrupted Ashton. I could tell she was a little uneasy about asking this; I wondered why. "You're my daughter's boyfriend, so why not get to know you a little bit more?"
"Right," Ashton replied sheepily. "Of course, that makes sense. I would love to...right?" He looked down at me, worry in his eyes. It was as if he was asking me if I wanted this to happen, which I really didn't. Now that Ashton knows everything that I do, I can't imagine what it would be like to sit in a room with Ashton and my father. But, I can't back out now; they'll get suspicious.
"Y-yes," I replied, smiling. The more I stand here and think about how bad this could probably turn out to be, the more I wished I hadn't brought up the idea last week. I looked up to Ashton, who met my gaze and nodded quickly.
"Great! How's Friday?" My mother asked.
"Oh-" Ashton's voice was cut off as he furrowed his eyebrows. "Like, this Friday?"
"Well..yeah?" My mother replied. "Is that alright?"
"Oh yes yes of course-" Ashton said quickly. "Yeah, it works." he smiled, and pushed his glasses further up the frame of his nose.
"Awesome!" She said happily.
"Okay now that that's settled," I laughed, taking Ashton by the hand. I opened the door, and made no hesitation bolt out of there with Ashton stumbling behind me.
"Brooke slow down-"
"I'm sorry." I blurted out, letting go of his hand and spinning around to face him. Ashton furrowed his eyebrows at me, a confused look on his face.
"What?" He asked.
"Oh come on Ashton I know the last thi,ng you want to do is-"
"Brooke," He said softly, putting his arms around me. "Of course I do, why wouldn't I?"
"Because I can just see it!" I exclaimed. "I don't want you to have to literally sit in a room with them especially my father, right?"
"Nooo...?" Ashton shook his head, as if he thought it was absolutey silly of me to think that. "Babe I'm fine, I'm happy to do it! I kinda saw this coming anyways, you know?"
He smiled at me, but I wasn't fully convinced. After a couple moments, I sighed. "You're the best." I said, wrapping my arms around his torso.
"This has been established before," he laughed. He tiltled my head up to face him, and he shot an adorable smile at me. "I'll text you later tonight, okay?" He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, and I returned one to his lips.
"Okay," I smiled. I gave him one more hug, and stayed on the sidewalk as he got into his truck. We waved one more time to each other, and I watched as that junky red truck drove down my street.I sighed, and turned to go back inside.
*Ashton's POV*
As I threw my keys onto the counter and locked the door behind me, I wanted to pass out. I slumped my back against the wall, and looked around the room. My head hurt, my legs hurt, and I was tired. My grandmother's bedroom door opened, and she walked out.
"Hey," I breathed.
"You alright?" She asked, coming up to me and looking me up and down.
"Yes," I lied. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"I dunno," my grandma shrugged. "Just making sure."
"Thank you," I assured. "But I'm alright. A little tired I guess."
"Well get some rest!" She laughed. "Eat something first, I know you skipped breakfast today."
"You know I'm not a morning person!" I laughed, walking over to the refridgerator. I waited until my grandmother was in another room, before letting out a breathless sigh. I looked through the fridge, but there was nothing that was appealing to me right now. I wasn't hungry at all.
I backed up and leaned against the counter, my eyes wandering around the room. Of course I'm not okay, how the fuck am I supposed to pull Friday off? I have no clue, actually. If I can't even get myself to have a full conversation with Brooke's mum-
"Fuck." I blurted out, my heart sinking. Brooke's mum. When I walked into that room and looked at her, I couldn't even hear myself think. She looked so broken...yet able to actually smile even though I knew in an instant it was all fake. Reminded me alot of my mum, actually.
I don't know what I'm gonna do, maybe I can just put on an act. You know... act like I don't absolutely despise that father of Brooke's...because its true. He disgusts me. He always has, and I wish I just knew why before Brooke had to find out herself.
I already know I'm not gonna sleep tonight, and I could only think of one reason why. It's obvious, isn't it?
It's plain simple. Something bad's gonna happen.