Severus Snape is haunted by visions of a beautiful woman who appears both in his dreams and his reality and is plagued by the question of whether or not his dream is a reality or just an escape from his waking life.
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chapter two
a hint of freesias
It was absolutely thrilling to see his spell in action. He could walk the halls completely invisible, in a different way than usual, and not have to worry about anyone.
Severus headed toward the only place he’d be able to speak to Lily. If she wasn’t there, she’d be in the Gryffindor common room and he would not be able to see her. As Severus navigated the twisting halls and moving staircases, his mind drifted back to the strange girl in the hall he’d seen earlier that day. He couldn’t seem to get her out of his mind. Severus was so distracted, he didn’t realize he had arrived at his destination until he saw the rows and rows of bookshelves. The library held an air of omniscience and knowledge, as if all your questions could be answered if you just knew where to look. He was always astounded and filled with awe each time he entered the library.
Severus began to weave through the rows, searching for Lily. Finally he caught a glimpse of bright red hair and, turning toward it, found Lily hunched over a book. Slipping quietly behind her, still invisible, he whispered “Bookworm” directly into her ear. Lily jumped, frantically searching for the source of the voice. Severus dropped his concealment. On the inside he was laughing hysterically, but due to his extreme control he merely smirked mischievously.
“Oh, Sev, please don’t do that! You scared me half to death! I see you’ve finally finished the spell you’ve been working on?”
“Yes. Works well, doesn’t it?”
Lily had known Severus for a long time and had learned to read the slight changes in his expression.1 Though he rarely shared much of his thoughts. At the moment, he seemed distracted.
“Sev, is….is something the matter?”
“Hm? Oh, nothing. I’m just a little tired,” Severus mumbled. “Um, Lily…do you know a female student, pale with freckles? Blue green eyes and long, mahogany hair…” Lily noticed the wistful tone to his voice that made her curious.
“I’ve never seen her before. What House is she from?”
“I…I don’t know. It’s no big deal.” Severus began to absentmindedly pace back and forth near the table. They chatted lightly for a while before classes resumed, and the rest of the day passed excruciatingly slowly for the young Slytherin. None the less, it was finally over. After he had returned from dinner, Severus was so exhausted that he merely removed his robes and collapsed in his bed, not bothering to don a nightshirt. He was asleep immediately and once again dancing with the beautiful woman. This time, she rested her head on his shoulder while they danced. When it was time to remove their disguises, he expected to awaken. He sighed a everyone but the girl in front of him removed their masks.
But then he looked up and saw…her face. The girl from the corridor. He pulled her closer, on an urge he didn’t really understand, and felt a deep longing to kiss her. As she brushed against him, he caught her scent again. Rain, parchment, and freesias. What did it mean?
The second before their lips would have touched, he woke up.
Severus jumped out of bed and reached into his robe pocket, pulling out a glass phial of pink liquid.2 Pulling out the stopper on the phial, he laid down on his bed, surrounded by the scent of the mysterious dream woman.
The next morning, Severus awoke clutching the phial of Amortentia and clinging to the fleeting memories of his dream.
Severus felt utterly foolish that morning yet he did not want to part with the phial. He strung it from a chain around his neck. The feeling of the cold glass against his skin was oddly comforting. Severus was once again awake at three in the morning. But this time he did not get out of bed.
His dreams intrigued him. Was she real or just his imagination? The thought that she could be somewhere in the school right at this moment filled him with an unfamiliar feeling of warmth. This single thought propelled him from his bed. It was Sunday, so he did not have any obligations that day. He wanted to try and find the girl.
If she was real, he would find her.
The first thing he had to do was find Lily. She would help him because he knew for sure the mystery girl was not in Slytherin. If she was, he’d have seen her before. He had an instinctual feeling that she was in Gryffindor as she walked with an unmistakable confident stride that seemed to exemplify the students of that House.
There was a small problem, however. He couldn’t find Lily, either. She, unlike him, did not awaken at three in the morning. He didn’t think it was possible but he would have to wait until Lily woke up. He used the invisibility spell to slip out of the Common Room. He had to find something to entertain himself while he waited.
Severus crept to the library, which was filled with the light of dawn’s approach. Choosing a book about dreams, Severus hid it inside his robe and snuck back to the Common Room.
Stretching out on the couch in front of the fire place, he opened the book and began to read about the interpretation of dreams.
It made sense all of a sudden, at least according to the book.
Dancing in a dream signified lack of happiness, grace, or sensuality in your waking life. Or it could also indicate sexual desire. The masks that the others were wearing, more specifically his mystery girl, was meant to represent hiding your true feelings. And masquerade balls, in general, symbolized an escape from everyday life. Severus went as far as to look up the meaning of waking immediately before a kiss: unsure outlook about how the other feels. A kiss from a stranger was also said to represent self-discovery.*
He was certain now that it was all just a dream, a way for his overworked mind to take a break from its harsh reality. Severus, however, did not care that she was not real. He would cherish the dreams as long as he had them.
He felt a shadow pass over the couch. Realizing that he was still invisible he definitely did not want one of the tired students sitting on him while he lay on the couch. So he stood and began heading back to the dormitory.
Then he saw the face of the student who had come down the steps. It was her again. She was standing in the corner of the room, watching him. He went to walk towards her and she seemed to be able to see him even with his concealment spell. She looked sweetly into his eyes and disappeared. Immediately afterward the other Slytherins began to emerge from the dormitories. Severus, still troubled by the vision, dressed hurriedly and headed to breakfast. In his bewilderment, he completely missed lily’s multiple attempts to get his attention. Finally she stepped in his way.
“Oh, Lily. Good morning.”
“Severus Snape! I have been calling your name for ten whole minutes. What is the matter with you?” She paused to catch her breath, then exclaimed with a laugh, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”
But the laughter soon died when Severus did not respond. “Sev, are you sure you’re alright?”
“Yes, Lily. I’m fine.” Possibly insane. “Tired, that’s all.”
“Is it about that girl yesterday? The one you told me about?”
“You ask too many questions, Lily. No, it’s not really about all that. As I said, I’m merely tired.”
“Well, if you’re that tired then maybe you should lay back down. It’s Sunday, take a rest,” Lily insisted.
“No, I’m already awake. There’s no point trying to rest now.” Severus slipped past her to the Slytherin table. He repeatedly glanced about him with the hopes of seeing that girl once more. The next time he saw her, he was going to attempt to find her name.
After breakfast, he returned to the Common room and when the noise and activity around him became too much, ascended to the dormitory. He had decided to take Lily’s advice to heart. Perhaps he truly was just tired and hallucinating. Severus tried to climb back into his bed and found the mystery girl sitting there, staring directly at him.
He felt a rush of emotions overcome him as he stepped forward. One minute she was sitting silently on the bed, the next she was pressed against him.
“You smell like freesias,” he murmured softly against her forehead.
“It’s my shampoo,” she whispered against his skin, warm lips rubbing against his collarbone. Then, suddenly, she and her scent were gone.
*The descriptions of the meanings of the various aspects of Severus’s dreams were taken from dreammoodsdictionary.com
1In the last Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, it is revealed that Severus Snape and Lily Evans had known each other since childhood.
2According to the Harry Potter Lexicon website, Amortentia is “recognizable by its distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen” according to the books. However, for some reason, the potion is commonly portrayed as being red/pink. For the purpose of this novel, the author decided to go with the red/pink color description.