Tears were streaming down my face. I was 100% done. I wanted to look on the positive side. I decided to write down a list of ideas of why I should continue my life. There had to be something that could make me want to stay, right? Wrong. I couldn't think of one reason to continue my life. My parents were dead. I had no siblings. I had no friends. I had him. But he left me. And now? I was nothing. I was that girl you saw in the supermarket but never thought she'd be depressed. Why? I mastered the fake smile.
It was sad really. I knew how to fake something that should be real. But that's how my life works. I'm used to the disappointment.
Tears spilled onto the paper that was supposed to be my list of reasons to live. Ya, that piece of paper turned into my suicide note. Not that it would ever be found nor cared about. But I decided that if anyone wondered what happened to me that they deserved to find out. I couldn't think of what to write. There was so many thoughts running through my head. All jumbled up. I couldn't think straight. I decided to make it short and sweet
'Hey, if you've found this and actually care then I'm sorry to tell you that it's my suicide note. Of course by now you might already know. But thanks for caring. And if you didn't care? Thanks for putting me in a happier place then I was before
-Anna
With that I left. I left my house knowing this would be the last time I would see it. I glanced back on my neighborhood. All of my memories were here. But not all of the memories were good.
I started running to the bridge before I changed my mind. Looking down at the water, knowing that I would be under the strong currents any minute, I thought back on my life. I thanked god one more time before I was ready. I was about to jump, until someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. I didn't want to know who it was. I stared at the ground not wanting to look up. They had other ideas, pulling my chin up making me look at them. My eyes widened, choking on my own spit. It was him.
Him- the one that hurt me. The one that broke so many promises. The one that made me do this. The one that I loved with my heart. The one that never loved me back. The one that decided that he cared now. The one I loved and hated.
"Don't act like you care Taylor! I know you don't. In fact, why the hell are you even here?!"
"I do care Anna. I really do. I left because I didn't want you getting hate. I did it for you! And I'm here because I'm not letting the only one I love kill herself over stupid me!"
"It's not just you! It's a lot of things built up! So please let me be happy! Taylor I will always love you but if you want me to be happy let me jump!"
"No!!! I want you to be happy but killing yourself won't make you happy! It will make you regret jumping! Please, if you actually love me, you won't do this!"
I looked between the two. My two options. Life and death. Literally. My eyes flickered tears spilling onto my cheeks. This was the hardest decision ever. Both ways would be happiness and hurt. But which is did I want more?
I decided. I tore my eyes away from the water to see Taylor's tear-filled eyes staring at me. I ran over to him and jumped in his arms. He spun me around laughing and smiling.
Now this felt right. He kissed me, the taste of his lips returning to mine. He broke away from the kiss and put me down. He then put his forehead to mine. I leaned up and pecked him on the lips. Then I smiled. The only thing that was different this time? That smile was real.