❝pleasure (pronounced ˈplɛʒə or plezh-er), noun
a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment.❞
Drew opened his front door, still crying, and walked straight to his room, ignoring his mother, who was asking him what was wrong. He fell onto his bed, curling up and sobbing.
"Jesus, Drew, what happened?!" Jessie asked, running and opening the door.
"You were right about her, Momma," he cried. "You were right all along to not trust her, she's cold and heartless."
"Did you have a fight?"
"She broke up with me," he said shakily. "Said- said that I wasn't good enough for her and that I was disgusting b-because I'm not s-straight..."
"What?"
Drew's eyes widened, as he realised he'd just accidentally come out to his mother. "I... I like girls, but I like boys, too."
She pursed her lips. Drew knew that choosing between God and her child wasn't going to be easy for her, but she closed her eyes and shook her head, helping him sit up and hugging him. "Something isn't right," said Jessie softly.
"H-Huh?"
"I'm sorry this all happened, darling, but something just isn't right. Something doesn't add up. Elle was fine for the past week, right?"
His head hurt just thinking about earlier that day. "She was... she was so happy when I told her that we might be moving in together. And then she left the living room for a little while and when she came back, it was... she was so strange, Mom, I don't-"
"I'm calling Hunter," said Jessie, pulling out her phone.
"Mom, no-"
"Not because she broke up with you," said Jessie tightly. "I'm worried that she's in danger."
<><><><><><><><>
Hunter woke up to his phone ringing at one am, and he groaned loudly. "Go away," he grumbled, and Ryan woke up too, rubbing her eyes tiredly and picking up Hunter's phone.
"It's Jessie," she mumbled, answering. "Hello?" Her sleepy look faded, and her eyes widened. "Wait, what?"
Hunter's head snapped around to look at her. "What is it?" he whispered.
"Go to Elle's room. Now!" she whispered urgently.
"What?"
"Hunter!"
"Alright, alright, but-"
"Check that she's there."
"Check that she's there? Where the hell else would she be, if not-"
"Would you stop wasting time?!"
He sighed, getting out of bed and slowly making his way to Elle's room. He made sure to knock first, but when there was no response, he opened the door and looked inside.
The room was perfectly neat. The bed was made, everything was tucked away, and her teddy, the one Hunter had gotten her, Harry, was the only stuffed animal missing on the bookshelf. Her mirror reflected her lava lamp light.
Elle wasn't there.
He went numb, and his blood ran cold. Elle was gone. She had met Gabriel and now she was gone. Something was wrong, something was terribly wrong.
He walked in slowly, trying to keep his breathing steady. This could mean any number of things. But then he saw the two envelopes on her bed. One labelled Pa and Ma, and one labelled Beanbag.
He ran back up, trying to keep himself from falling, and opened the door to their room. "She's... she's not there."
"Call the police," said Ryan tightly, before saying, "Thank you, Jessie. We'll let you know if there are any updates." She hung up, and Hunter held up the two envelopes silently.
"What-"
"They were left on her bed. They're her handwriting. Guess we can rule out kidnapping," he said with a shaky laugh.
"Should we read these or call the police first?"
"Read them. Who knows what they say?"
Hunter nodded, before opening the one labelled Pa and Ma. A piece of paper was folded inside, and he began to read it out loud for her to hear.
"'Dear... Dear Ma, Pa, Spence, Robbie, Nick and Red...' Oh God, her hands were shaking when she wrote this, her dyslexia was really bad. 'I'm sorry. I need to go tonight. My... my father is insane. I have... I have no choice.'"
Ryan's eyes were wide. Hunter read through the rest of the note, fighting back tears, and at the end, whispered, "'Don't call the police. He might hurt us both. Love, Elle.'"
"Ellie," whispered Ryan. "Oh God, Hunt, our baby..."
He felt like he couldn't breathe. Like his head was pounding heavily. He was dying, surely he was dying. Ryan was sniffling, and Hunter hugged her tightly.
"We'll call Drew," he whispered. "Tell him she wrote him something, too. Apologise."
"O-Oh, God..."
"This is all my fault," whispered Hunter, beginning to cry as well. "Ry, if I hadn't been so obsessed with finding my daughter... and now both of them, both of them are gone... I stopped talking to Elle, I was so enamoured with Cassie, I... I just..." He let out another soft sob, burying his face in her hair. "F*ck..."
"It's not your fault," whispered Ryan. "How could you have known?"
He shook his head. "She's gone," he cried. "She's gone."
And for the first time, Ryan wasn't sure if he was talking about Elle, Cassie, Lilly, or all three.
<><><><><><><><>
Six months passed.
No one had heard from or seen Elle or Cassie in those six months, and it was the hardest six months of Drew's life.
The note she had written hung above his tiny little desk in his tiny little flat that he had rented in order to go to college. He didn't talk much anymore. His smile was rare to come by. Most students saw him as moody and depressing to be around, and he rarely left his room.
His roommate, Gail, was nice. But she didn't really understand that he wasn't interested in her. He had just told her that he was gay, and that was the end of her pursuing him. But now she was talking to him and he had to pull himself out of his dream state a little bit just to listen to her.
"Who's this?"
"Just someone," he said, not looking at the picture she was holding up.
"No, you didn't even look though," complained Gail, and he sighed, looking up.
It was a photo of himself and Elle, that Hunter had taken on her seventeenth birthday. Her eyes were wide and sparkling, and she was hugging Drew. Drew silently took the photo into his hands and traced over Elle's plait. He could remember how her plait felt under his fingers.
"She was my best friend," said Drew softly. "She's gone now."
Gail's annoyed look was replaced by something else. Sympathy. "I'm... I'm really sorry to hear that. What happened?"
She was forced to leave with her biological father because he's probably clinically insane and she's probably dead.
"I don't know. One day she was there, and the next, she just..."
"Was gone?"
He nodded silently.
Gail sighed. "This photo isn't from that long ago, huh?"
He shook his head. "She... she was gone before I came here."
"So that's why you're... you're still mourning." Gail straightened. "Right. Well, it's about time you got yourself to a party!"
"A what?" he asked dully.
"A party! Come on! Have fun! Maybe it'll help you get your mind off it?"
"Maybe," he mumbled.
"I'll take you as my plus one, there'll be drinks and everything. It's just dancing and fun, it'll be great!"
"Drinks? But-"
"Oh, no one's gonna get carded, it's just a house party. Live a little, Drew, get out there! Maybe you'll even find... a guy?"
Drew rolled his eyes. "Sure. Thanks, Gail."
"No problem! Start getting ready, we're leaving in ten."
"Ten?!"
"Yes! Hurry up!"
He ran a hand through his curls with a sigh, standing up. He was far too tall for his own good, honestly. He went to the bathroom, straightening his hair quickly and quietly, then wore his black denim jacket with his black skinny jeans over a black t-shirt. Black. It suited him. He looked in the mirror one last time, wishing he didn't look so horribly lanky and skinny, then left the room.
Gail looked him up and down with a smile. "You look good!"
"I feel great," he said half-heartedly, then gave a fake smile. Gail laughed and hugged him.
"You're gonna be okay! I'll be there the whole time!"
<><><><><><><><>
Needless to say, Gail was not there the whole time.
She was, as nice as she was, a bit of a player, and within ten minutes, she was gone into the crowd, dancing and flirting and drinking. Drew sat aside, holding a cup of untouched radioactive blue cocktail. He held it beside him, quietly watching partygoers walk around, talking and laughing. He wished Elle was there, so that he could hold her hand. So he could hold her close. So he could kiss her.
A guy came up to him, dark hair, dark skin and dark eyes. He smiled brilliantly at Drew, and said, "So, know anyone here?"
"Not really," said Drew. "I'm, uh, not really much for parties."
"Me neither, man." He held out his hand. "I'm Louis."
"Drew," he responded, shaking his hand and forgetting his name almost immediately. The guy's eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled, and Drew checked him out. He was tall, taller than him, even, and he was buff. He made Drew look like an oddly tall and thin lesbian beside him, with his straight fringe and feminine features. His eyes were black, like Phoenix's. His high cheekbones accentuated his dimples, and he had a long neck.
He couldn't help but feel that he was awfully attractive.
The guy smiled, and Drew looked away. "What are you doing?"
"Oh, I dunno. Trying to work out the best way to flirt with you," he said with a smile, and Drew felt himself blush.
"I don't do the dating thing," he said dryly. "Not worth the effort. Or the pain."
"Damn, who hurt you?"
"No one. Life, honestly."
"Well, that's what life does." He chuckled slightly. "Where're you from?"
"Right here in Nashville."
"Oh, nice. I'm from Michigan." The guy smiled. "Wanna get out of here? It's pretty loud."
"Yeah, sure," mumbled Drew, and he and the guy left the room they were in, walking outside. The wind blew in his face and he sighed softly, looking out into the stars. He wished she was there to see them with her.
"Beautiful night out," commented the guy, leaning on the railing. "Not often you get a night like this."
"It's springtime, I guess," said Drew. She loved the spring. She loved every season. She loved winter when it snowed, and fall when the leaves changed, and spring when the flowers bloomed, and summer when she could go outside in the heat.
"I love spring," said the guy, and smiled at Drew.
And suddenly, Drew felt that everything was overrated.
His pleasure was found in things like writing. Cloud gazing. Elle. Even the name in his head made him wince in pain.
But now? Now, none of those things really mattered. Now, he could engage in what normal people thought was pleasurable- sex, and drugs, and food.
So he skulled his blue cocktail, allowing the drink to burn down his throat, before looking at the guy whose name he couldn't remember and kissing him. If he was lucky, he wouldn't remember this night, either, despite going home with him.
Because if simple human pleasures couldn't make him feel better, what would?
<><><><><><><><>
Cassie and Elle shared a room. A full six months had passed today since Elle had left that house, since Elle had seen her family. Her head pounded, and she didn't feel anything anymore.
Perhaps that wasn't true. She felt anger. And she took that anger out on the girl who had ruined her life.
Cassie walked in, holding her phone, and immediately, Elle felt angry. Why should she be able to contact her boyfriend? Why was she allowed to be with him when Elle was alone?
"Adrian's coming over," she said, sitting on her bed. Elle simply glared. She sighed. "Elle, I've apologised-"
"And I don't forgive you," snarled Elle.
"Well, I don't-"
"You tore me away from the only family I've ever known. God knows what happened to any of them. And I'm here with you. You! You, who doesn't know me from f*cking Jack the neighbour!"
"We don't have a neighbour named Jack, and you're being so horrible, how on Earth am I meant to make friends with you?" asked Cassie wearily.
"You could have done well from the very beginning and-"
"You liked me at the start!" she shot back, fighting back. "You had nothing against me! It's not my fault you're jealous that I'm Hunter's daughter."
"You're not Hunter's daughter."
"Oh, yeah? Then what am I? Hell, what are you?!"
"He raised me."
"He didn't have a blazin' choice, did he?"
"Are you implying that he wouldn't have raised me if he'd known?"
"I'm saying he'd rather his own child."
Elle glared at Cassie. "You're a real bitch."
"And you think you're entitled to my friendship." Cassie looked away. "Think about it, Ellie- what makes the two of us all that different? If you could, wouldn't you have happily tore me away from my family and my friends, so that you could stay with Drew?"
"Don't say his name," she growled.
"You're just as selfish as I am, sweetheart. Don't think anything different."
"How dare you-"
"I'm not going to fight you anymore," said Cassie, turning back to her phone. "That just means you win."
Elle growled under her breath, mumbling profanities, and sat on her bed, turning away. "F*ck you," she mumbled.
"I heard that," said Cassie.
"Good, that was the aim."
*a/n: animosity is fun
nethii <3*