"Lexi! It's time to wake up!"
I groaned, half-asleep, and buried my face back into my pillow, trying to ignore my mum. I really couldn't be bothered to wake up and face another day of God knows what.
"Lexi!" My mum started stomping up the stairs. I then heard her talking about how I was going to miss out on something, but then, I didn't really have anything on my social agenda so I was fine staying in bed. I went back to the blissful world of sleep, and stayed in my bed for a few more minutes.
"Alexis! Of all days to choose to not wake up, you choose this one?"
Waking up once again from footsteps running across the landing and conversation between Aiden and Levi, I tried to hold in frustration at the name Alexis. This was irritating me to hell and back. Turning over, I tried to wait for more peace and quiet. Until my mother started shouting again.
"Alexis!"
"My name," I said, unable to stand it anymore. Alexis was definitely one of my pet peeves. "is not Alexis!" I fell back onto the pillow, but a minute later, my mum walked in again, and opened the curtains.
"Lexi, haven't you noticed what day it is today?" My mum asked cheerfully, sounding much less like the sobbing mother I had had recently. "It's Christmas!"
"Wait," I drawled, sitting up. "What?"
"Christmas!" My mum rejoiced, and then burst out into a very out-of-tune cover of Merry Christmas Everyone.
Laughing at her, I let the realisation settle in.
It was Christmas.
There was no time to be sad.
This was the happiest time of year, and I was going to make the most of it.
Nothing was going to bring me down.
I thought about yesterday and all the drama that happened, and gazing out of the window, I wasn't really sure how to feel. Levi had declared he wanted me to die and not an hour later confess everything that had happened, and I wasn't really sure what I was going to do with him. There was no way we were best friends, that was for sure. I just didn't know. Then there was the Thomas thing, and that awkward kiss, and the pills and life and...
Was it going to get better?
I glanced at my mother, tearing my sight away from the frosty winter weather.
"Yes," I said to myself, and then got out of bed and grabbed my crutches. Even if it wasn't everyday, it was Christmas. My favourite time of the year (well, joint with my birthday), and it was like a rule that you couldn't be a jerk on Christmas. It was just so twinkly and friendly and happy and cheery and everything that wasn't really me, but I loved it.
I hummed along to my Mum's tuneless singing, and after putting my one-size-too-small Christmas jumper on over my pyjamas, I went downstairs and into the living room, where Levi and Aiden were already sitting. Levi gave me a curt nod, and I smiled back.
Yeah, things weren't exactly perfect.
"Merry Christmas, Lexi," Aiden said, and he nudged Levi to say the same, which Levi did, but very quietly.
"Merry Christmas," I smiled, and flopped onto a chair next to Aiden, putting my crutches down next to me. We were seated by a warm fireplace, which sent out an aura of comfort and homeliness, and surprisingly, there was a few wrapped presents under the Christmas tree. Aiden and Levi had waited for me to open the presents, and even after all the events of the month, our Christmas celebrations were no less than they had already been.
"How do you guys stand having Christmas in the winter?" Aiden complained as we waited for my mum to come downstairs. "Australian Christmas barbecues are so much better."
Levi and I laughed, and I said, "White Christmases are way better."
Aiden raised an eyebrow. "Does it look like snow outside to you?" He gestured towards the window, which showed a scene of heavy rain and mud.
"Well, no, but come on. You have Christmas songs talking about snow, and you get to wrap up warm next to the fireplace in Christmas jumpers..."
"Or you can be warm anyway in Australia," Aiden said, and before I could argue for Team British Christmases, my mum came in with three boxes of chocolate and four Santa hats balanced on her arms, and after placing the items on the floor, she went and turned the family iPod on to play Christmas music.
"Merry Christmas!" My mum said, grinning, and went to sit down on the sofa. "You can open your presents now, oh, and Aiden, your mum wants to Skype you soon. She says she's sorry she couldn't come to England for the millionth time, but one of her best friends has just had a baby? I don't really know."
Aiden chuckled. "Yeah, her friend Christie," he said, reaching for a small present in the middle of the tree that was from a cousin. "I've seen pictures, Lily's adorable!"
Levi and I took this as a prompt to start opening presents, and half an hour later, our floor was littered with wrapping paper and gifts from various relatives and family friends were thrown around. Mine included a set of oil paints, an iTunes gift-card, a GCSE Maths textbook (from my Uncle Dave, who was a doctor and his children went to grammar schools, and he was convinced that everyone would go to hell if they didn't get A's in their GCSE's...or something like that), a card-decorating kit and lip-balm amongst other presents. My mum still hadn't given me any presents, but then, I hadn't been the calmest child recently. Nor had any of my friends (although if they were still my friends and how they would get them to me, I didn't know) or Levi, unless you counted swapping a small bag of sweets each.
I wasn't particularly appreciative of a bag of Revels when Levi knew that they were possibly the worst sweets ever to be invented.
I let that brush off though, as I teared off some red snowman paper off another box. It was a handknitted jumper sent from Auntie Liz, Aiden's mum, from Australia. It was a blue one with my name written in white on it, and when I looked over at Levi and Aiden, they had jumpers as well with their names on it - however, Aiden had also received an iPad.
"Wait," I said slowly. "Aiden, did you get an iPad?"
"Yeah," Aiden shrugged, reaching for his last present from his dad.
"An iPad?" I repeated.
"Why are you so surprised? It's no big deal," Aiden said dismissively. "I'm happy for it, of course, but a lot of other kids in my year have one."
I sighed, folding my jumper and placing it on the stack of clothes I had received. Levi was humming along to the Christmas song playing. "You don't seem shocked."
Aiden didn't bother to reply, and instead carried on opening the present that was made up of so much duct tape that it was almost impossible to rip apart. Levi and I helped Aiden, and we pulled on the tape until the last bit finally came undone (after using so much strength that our Santa hats got catapulted across the room), and Aiden revealed the gift to be some video games.
"Seriously?" Levi remarked, picking up Heavy Rain and reading the description. "And our mum hasn't even-"
My mum then took that moment to come in with four cardboard boxes. "Your presents! Sorry I didn't have time to wrap them, what with the...events of this month."
I loved how everyone referred to it as 'the...events'.
Not.
"Speak of the devil," Levi murmured, but we each took a box each, labelled with our names. My present was the smallest, but...
"Another iPhone?" I questioned my mum, not believing the Apple logo that was on the black box. "An iPhone?"
"Why are you so shocked?" My mum said, smiling.
"Do you actually trust me not to..." I paused, while all three other people watched me. "...drop it out of a tree again?"
My mum gave me a debating look. "Well, I mean, I got you a cheaper model because that iPhone was expensive...but hopefully you're happy with it?"
I got up and gave my mum a hug. "Thank you! I love it!" My mum threw her head back and laughed, and patted my back.
"Check your box again," my mother said, a string of happiness and pride in her voice, and I knelt back down again. It was a new, expensive set of Swiss coloured pencils, and yet again, I squealed with joy and thanked my mum a million times. Levi had received some band merchandise and a book about people who had made a big impact on the world - Levi had always been interested in world peace and changing everyone (how he was going to do that if he couldn't change himself, I didn't know), although the interest had seemed to be replaced with love for partying and texting. However, he looked elated at the new book to add to his collection. Aiden also got a guide to programming and some fancy pens for school.
I was busy testing out my new pencils whilst listening to Mariah Carey proclaiming that all she wanted for Christmas was some dude, when the doorbell rang.
"Oh!" My mum put a hand over her mouth, as if she had forgotten something. "Thomas and Susan are coming to have Christmas with us today!"
I dropped the azure coloured pencil I was holding. "Thomas is coming? And who's Susan?" I wasn't particularly confident about seeing Thomas, seeing as the last time we'd been together, I had tried to commit suicide, he had kissed me and he had calmed me down.
This was going to be very awkward.
"Susan's Thomas's mum," my mum said, walking towards the door. "Since they said they weren't going to be doing much today, I thought that they might like to come over and spend Christmas with us!"
"Ahh," I said to myself as I heard my mum open the door. Of course; I had met Susan the day I went to Thomas' home, and she was quite possibly one of the sweetest people in this world. I could see that she was working so hard for her son and cared so much for Thomas, and wasn't obsessed with how poor she was - she just kept working. Susan was so incredibly caring and loving.
The door opened and I heard my mother greeting both visitors, and before I could stand up and push my chair in, Thomas had already ran into the lounge and wrapped me in a tight hug.
"Argh-Thomas-you-strangle-ing-me," I croaked in the death hug. Thomas took that as a sign to finally let go of me, and he stepped back, grinning. He was wearing a Rudolph themed Christmas jumper and carrying a present.
"Merry Christmas, Lexi-Lex!" Thomas said happily, a wide grin on his face. He handed the wrapped present to me, and while I watched my mother introducing Susan to Levi and Aiden (I saw Susan make an uncomfortable face when it came to Levi), I was grateful to have Thomas around. Thomas was a pretty hyper and cheerful person. The kind of person I would connect with Christmas spirit.
"Merry Christmas, Thomas," I replied with the same amount of joy in my voice. "Wait, let me get your present." I left Thomas to go and talk to the others, and hopped up the stairs to the stash of gifts I had bought when I went to town with Aiden. I was still in a good mood as I searched through clothes and pencils that were scattered around the floor for Thomas' one - a book on chemistry. It was an expensive one that I knew he didn't have, and I was hoping he'd enjoy it.
When I came downstairs again, Susan was at the bottom with Thomas. "Lexi! How lovely it is to see you again!"
Susan wrapped me in a hug, and it was nice, because she gave off this...motherly aura around her.
"Hello," I thought about what to call her, but then remembered that she got rather cross if anyone called her Mrs Walkers now, "Susan."
"Oh, Lexi! How you've grown!" Susan exclaimed, even though she had only seen me a few months ago. "What a smart young lady you've raised, Beth."
"Thank you, Susan!" My mum ruffled my hair, and I ducked underneath the two women's arms and walked up to Thomas. I handed him the present, and while we chatted a little bit, we both opened them at the same time.
"Thomas!" I grinned at the present. "Thank you - I love it!"
The only thing that worried me was - how expensive was it?
As if he was reading my mind, Thomas grinned. "Don't worry about money, I have got it all sorted. Anyway, you got me this chemistry book!" Thomas stared in awe as he flicked through the numerous pages about protons and electrons and all that. "Thanks!"
Then I looked at him straight in the eyes, and it suddenly became very uncomfortable when I realised what we were both thinking of.
Yesterday.
The kiss.
But then everything went back to normal as he suddenly sprung up from his seat and picked up a cracker from the table.
"Merry Christmas, Lexi! Come on, let's have some fun!"
Giggling, I followed Thomas.
This was going to be a good Christmas.
***
"Are you joking?" I said in shock, my mouth gaped open at the amount of Monopoly notes in Thomas' hand. "How did you get that much?"
Thomas chuckled, putting three hundred-pound notes in the box. "Tactics. Also Mayfair." He pointed at the most expensive and worthy properties on the board.
"Damn you," I groaned, looking down at the mere hundred pounds I had managed to end up with. We were playing a massive game of Monopoly, and had been playing for four hours - my mum had already gone bankrupt, and I was coming close to that.
Aiden rolled the dice, and immediately proclaimed his hatred of hotels as he landed on one of Thomas' properties (which were all worth at least £500).
"You are so annoying," Aiden asked, glancing at Thomas' property card and throwing a pile of notes at Thomas. Compared to me, Aiden was doing quite well.
Thomas smiled smugly, and watched as his mother moved her metal car over seven spaces.
"Chance!" Susan grinned, picking up a Chance card. However, her face fell when the card sent her to jail. She immediately put a £50 note in the middle of the board, sighing.
Levi then landed on his own property, and used the opportunity to buy a new house on it. He had managed to bag one of the most expensive Monopolies, and was refusing to give it up to Thomas, however much Thomas begged.
Then it was my go, and I threw a double five. With a triumphant smile, I moved my horse ten places.
Then I groaned, and threw the rest of my money into Thomas's pile.
"Park Lane," Thomas smirked, collecting up all of it. The second most worthy property was also ridiculously expensive.
"You are too good at this game," I whined, standing up and stretching. Thomas had been constantly collecting my money since the beginning, while I was left earning about £10 for every £50 I lost from my six properties that I managed to end up with.
As if on cue, my mother walked in, calling that dinner was ready. We all got up and followed her to the dining room, where she had prepared a roast turkey and your typical side-dishes that came with it.
Thomas' eyes lit up at all the food. "Wow!" he exclaimed, and I gave him a small smile. I wondered what it was like to live in his shoes - my family had always been well-off, and yet I had a best friend who lived in a run-down flat on the top of a failing family business.
We lived in a small, small world.
But when we sat down and started eating, it was obvious Susan and Thomas were feeling bad about eating the food. Aiden noticed as well, and tried to push them to eat more.
"Don't worry! Eat up - it's our pleasure," Aiden said with a friendly tone to his voice.
"I'm complimented if you like our food," my mum said, and Susan and Thomas took a big slice of turkey each.
"There's too much turkey anyway," Levi emphasized, and while Susan and Thomas still looked embarrassed, they seemed to be eating more after that. I personally just ate as many roast potatoes as I could without bringing it all up again, because my mother was an amazing roast dinner cooker.
With Thomas, this was probably one of the best Christmas's I had had so far.
***
"My God, Thomas, how can you even stand mince pies?" I asked the boy sitting next to me, who was scoffing down mince pies faster than I could say Christmas pudding.
Thomas looked up from his seventh mince pie. "They're nice, okay?"
I scrunched up my nose at the thought of that fruit crap inside the pastry. "You're weird."
"I've been told that enough," Thomas said, and then stuck his tongue out at me.
I rolled my eyes, and went back to sipping my hot chocolate. Mince pies were disgusting.
"So, Aiden," Susan said, taking a mince pie herself and looking at my cousin. "What are you studying at school right now?"
"Well," Aiden said, gulping down coffee. "I'm studying for AS-Levels right now, and I've taken a computing course, Media Studies, French and good old Physics."
While he said that, I watched Levi tiptoe out of the room.
Susan laughed. My mum came back with some sliced oranges, and said, "Yep, this chap wants to be a video game developer, don't you?"
Aiden nodded, and while the conversation turned to him and his education, Thomas had finished eating around ten mince pies and was wiping his chin.
"Do you seriously eat that much every Christmas?" I sighed, giving Thomas a light slap on the head.
"Hey!" Thomas said defensively, though in a happy manner. "And twelve mince pies are fifty pence in Sainsbury's, which means that every mince pie costs 4.17 pence, which has the calorie value of-"
"Okay, okay, Thomas," I said, stopping him before he gave me a maths lesson. "I get it."
"It's your money's worth," Thomas said, shrugging and then winking. "Come on, I want to watch a movie!"
"Such as?"
"I don't know, whatever is on TV," Thomas said, standing up from the table and putting his plate in the sink.
"Probably the Grinch," I muttered, and took a last grape out of the bowl.
"Come on!" Thomas grabbed my hand and tried to drag me out of the room.
I stayed put, leaning on my crutches. "Don't worry, you can watch first. I'll catch up with you later!"
Thomas shrugged and gave me a goodbye wave, then leaving the room.
I walked out a few seconds later, silently going towards where I knew Levi would be; in the garage. I had to monitor what he was doing - I didn't want to find out everything he had confessed yesterday was for nothing.
If he expected me to change, he'd better change as well.
But I strolled in and it was almost like I could see into the future - he was speaking on the phone to Ashy-baby again.
And whilst it wasn't about me, I still wanted to take action.
"Are you actually kidding me?!" I said, my voice higher than usual. Levi turned around in surprise, and I ran up and snatched the phone from him. "Lev, are you actually kidding me?"
"Lexi, it wasn't about you, I was just wishing-" Levi said in a hushed voice.
I let out a sigh of annoyance. "Levi, I thought you were going to get rid of the Populars. That's what you said yesterday, anyway."
Levi tried to take the phone off me again, but I didn't let him. "Look, she called me, I was planning on-"
"Please stop lying to me," I pleaded.
Levi looked uncomfortable and said nothing.
"You do realise I haven't completely forgiven you yet," I said quietly. Because I hadn't - I didn't want to face him all the time and be best friends and everything. Levi had done too much.
"Well, this is your own fault if you keep acting so mental and bipolar!" Levi snarled, and then realised what he had said in a sudden change of temper.
Blinking up at him, I watched as he put his head in his hands.
"I'm sorry, Lexi," Levi apologised, a little too sweetly and tried to pat my shoulder.
I pushed him away, and said in a shaky voice, "Just go away. Please. Just stop bothering me. It's not going to work."
With that, I went out of the room and outside the back door.
***
Stars shone down as I sat down on the grass of our back-garden, shivering in the cold air but not wanting to go back inside to get a jacket. Christmas jumpers were warm enough. Anyway, I needed the fresh air. I needed to get my senses. The thing was, I was trying not to get trapped in that world of sadness right now. It was Christmas.
But to be honest, I didn't really know how to be happy again, because every time, something came up.
I was just...okay.
I looked up at the full moon, stretching my legs out in the soft breeze. The area was slightly damp from the raining - however, it was bearable. So I just sat there, staring at the ivy-coated fence at the other end of the garden, alone.
"Hey," someone said from behind where I was sitting in the garden, and I turned around to see a red-haired girl.
It took me a while to recognise her as Mikayla, but when I did, I smiled. "Hey."
Miki came over and placed herself down next to me. She looked as if she had been in a hurry - her hair was in a messy bun and she was just wearing casual clothing: jeans, a t-shirt and a Superdry hoodie over the top. But to get into the Christmas spirit, she did have reindeer hair clips in her hair. "What's up?" she asked.
"Nothing much," I said, and even if we had only really talked in person once, it was like I had known her forever. I had, but just over the Internet. "If you don't mind me asking, why are you here?"
"I don't know," Miki said, shrugging. "Felt like popping round - your mum told me I could come whenever, and I just wanted to really hang out with you. I have to go away from Wolverhampton soon anyway."
"Aww," I sighed. "But shouldn't you be spending Christmas with your family?"
Miki laughed. "I did, but there's nothing to do back there."
I giggled, and then looked back at the sky again. I wasn't really sure how I felt, but it was nice to talk to Mikayla again. After all, she was almost an expert in how I felt. It was a miracle that she wasn't a fifty-year-old pervert - not that talking to people online wasn't a bad idea.
Mikayla was basically the only good thing that came out of How To Get A Life.
"So, what are you doing out here in the cold?"
"Felt like it," I tried to dismiss, but Mikayla knew me too well.
Miki sighed. "What did he do this time?"
"It's complicated," I muttered, thinking about Levi's weird behavior. I was honestly thinking about asking my weird therapist to see him instead of me. "He's just so..."
"Annoying, stupid and the spawn of the devil?" Miki suggested, a smirk plastered on her face. I giggled, and shook my head.
"Not really. Just...strange. And very mean."
"Okay." And that was the end of that conversation. We stayed in a comfortable silence for a few more seconds, and then I decided to break it.
"Miki," I said nervously. "What's your whole story?"
Miki's eyes flickered up, and I could see all the pain rising to them. She looked extremely distressed, and I regretted my question until she answered it.
"I got kind of estranged from my friends." Miki's voice was barely audible. "...and there was this boy from school, who..."
There were many things to fill that gap with, and I was about to stop her when she carried on.
"Who wasn't the best to me. You know. Those abuse adverts you see everywhere."
I didn't realise I was gasping until Miki decided to tap my jaw together again.
"Oh gosh, Miki," I stammered, still surprised. "How...oh my God, that must have been horrible! How did I not know?"
Miki gave me a faint laugh. "I don't exactly write everything about myself online."
"Of course." I then gave Miki a hug, because although my situation was pretty bad, Miki had been trapped in an unstable relationship and she had gotten through it.
How did I find it so hard?
"Hey, Miki," I asked. "Did you ever think of killing yourself?
I quickly looked away when she turned her head.
"Maybe," Miki whispered in the silent night. "I mean, I never properly considered it, but it was always an option constantly hanging over me. Like, my thoughts would be, would it hurt to jump in front of a car? How long would it take to bleed to death? But never properly thinking of it."
I bit my lip. "I guess I've been constantly jumping to conclusions then, because it's always been like a little voice inside my head, knocking at me, telling me to just do it."
Miki gave me a discreet smile. It was weird how I was so comfortable talking to someone about it. Maybe it was because Mikayla had gone through the same sort of thing, although I guess I had just been the one to take it to drastic measures.
"It's really nice just being friends with you in real life," Miki said. "Not just in front of some stupid screen."
I laughed. "Yeah. I'm surprised you weren't a forty-year-old pervert, though."
"I know you want it," Miki sang, imitating Robin Thicke and raising an eyebrow, and it reminded me of one of the conversations we had.
"Who would have thought we would meet each other like this?"
"Merry Christmas, Lexi."
"Merry Christmas."
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I'm going to keep this author's note short (I seriously didn't mean for the chapter to be so long O_O) but we have a week off school here now, and I'll have lots more time to write! However, I have my other story Who To Trust, please go read it as it's going to be my next big project as this story comes to an end!
Also, Thomas and Lexi's shipname is LEXMAS! I chose that because it sonds like Christmas and they did have their first kiss on Christmas Eve :) THanks for the suggestions!
Thanks for reading, click the little star up there or leave your thoughts if you liked it!
Song on the side: Sail by AWOLNATION