Thankfully by the time my dangling feet had totally thawed, my mind had thawed as well.
"Uh, hey pal," I said, eyeing the height between the floor and myself as the door traveled down a metal track. "I may be too short for this ride."
Well that was a blatant lie.
If anything, I was too tall for it. Like that time at Disneyland when it was discovered I was too tall for the kitty ride, but only after I was latched into the seat and ready to go, forcing me to take the walk of shame across the platform to the exit gate as everyone watched.
Slung over his shoulder as I was, I could not see what was ahead of us. But as I stared down at my dangling feet, I noticed that light was seeping into the trackway, bouncing off the walls and the ground far below me.
Then, with no warning, we were speeding out of the dark corridor.
I screamed at the top of my lungs.
Now in total sunlight, the distance between the ground and myself was no longer fifty feet.
It was HUNDREDS of feet.
Still screaming, I jerked my head up, straining my neck to look directly above me.
A skylight that stretched out of my sight streamed mellowing sunlight into the room. Room.
This isn't a room.
This is... This is...
It goes on for half a mile.
All around me dangled doors—hundreds of doors, thousands of doors-- like the one Randall and I hung from. Some raced along the track, others were stacked on the walls like in a vending machine.
A vending machine taller than the Empire State Building.
By tenfold.
I think I'm going to be sick.
* * *
Mike and Sullivan broke through a final door and found themselves on the ground level of the vault. The glass ceiling above them might as well have been in the clouds.
It didn't take long for them to spot the swaying pink pajamas.
"There!" Sullivan cried, pointing upward at the racing door.
* * *
Randall peered at the ground below us. "Ah, good, they're arrived. A shame. I was hoping it would take us higher."
"Why? What are you going to do?" Hysteria crept into my voice. "What are you going to do?!"
"This is where you get off."
He released his grip around my torso, leaving me to slip off his scaly back and fall head first to my death.
He was right about one thing, though: This was the part where I got off.
As I fell forward, I grabbed the door track and swung myself upward, landing on top of the thin metal track. Right on my gluteus maximus.
That's gonna hurt in the morning.
"What?!" Randall cried, glaring back at me as the door sped away. In an instant, he crawled up the door and onto the track, standing upright, with vengeance in his eyes.
I rose to my feet, my knees knocking into each other like cymbals. My arms flailed as I struggled for balance.
My palms began to sweat. The arches of my feet buzzed with the eeby jeebies as I struggled to remain posed on the thin track. I was seconds from heaving my guts out. One wrong move, and I was cement paste.
You know, just an average weekend for me.
Do not look down, do not look down, do not look down, so don't look down.
Then I got dizzy. My head began to spin.
Oh great, great, great, yes, I love pneumonia.
Or horn pox. Or whatever this is.
Randall struck me in the face, sending me flying backwards, tumbling down a sudden dip in the slope of the door track. I landed hard, my spine hitting the narrow metal. My body buzzed from the electricity pouring through the track and into my bones.
Randall leapt down the slope, and casually walked up to where I lay, his hands behind his back in contentedness.
Many, many hands...
Miraculously, in my blurred state, I was able to remain centered on the metal type rope of death.
Oh I don't know. Maybe it's the tail on this stupid outfit—
"Get up." He reared back to kick me.
I dodged, narrowly missing the blow.
Because kicking me really helps with that.
I continued to crept backwards like a crab, trying to increase the distance between us.
"What's the matter, kid?" he mocked. "Too sick and weak to fight back?"
Worst. Smack talk. Ever.
Randall raised his fists, ready to land a punch in my stomach.
"NO!" a voice called from below.
I peered down.
Like little ants, Mike and Sullivan stood on the lowest floor against the wall, near the ground entrance, both clutching their faces in dismay.
"Ey, Sullivan!" I waved.
"NO RANDALL! DON'T!"
I veered my head back up.
Right. Bad guy.
Before he could land the crushing blow, I sprang to my feet and caught Randall's fists in hands. I shoved him backwards, anything to get him off me.
* * *
"Let's go, Mike!" Sullivan cried, hurtling forward, trying to get as close as possible...
* * *
I kept throwing swings at Randall. He stumbled backwards, holding his fists up, bouncing, ready to land another punch.
But as soon as I took a step towards him, he turned and skittered away, like the coward he was. I dashed after him, my balance on the door track locked like riding a bike.
After the sixth or seventh try.
If only I wasn't sick. Balancing on this would be a breeze for me!
I bound toward the reptile, and finally got a hold of his neck, head-locking him with my inner elbow.
He unlocked my arm, and with a thrust, threw me backwards.
Randall whirled around to see...
No one.
The thin door track ahead of him lay empty.
He looked over both sides of the track.
I hadn't fallen.
* * *
"Come on out and fight!" Randall cried.
Nothing.
Randall took a step forward. "Are you a coward, kid?" His voice echoed, then was lost in the thundering of the racing doors above him. "
Where did she go...
He checked the pavement far below him.
Nothing.
His paranoia grew. He laughed nervously. "Did you honestly think you could outsmart me??"
Randall looked out of the corner of his eye.
The kid pounced up from behind him.
He whirled around, throwing his fist into the girl's face.
* * *
I dodged his fist to my jaw. Boy I am sure glad he didn't look directly below him.
I couldn't even grip the whole rail. Just the thinned out spot in the middle.
I ducked my head to avoid another punch and slugged the lizard in the face. My fingers were going to ache for days. It was a miracle I hadn't broken any from dangling from the rail like that.
Someday I've gotta give who ever designed this contraption of death a piece of my mind.
Randall came back at me, recovered from my blow.
If a door had come down the track while I was dangling—
Randall punched me in the throat. I fell on my tailbone, clutching my larynx, inches from slipping over the edge. I stared at up him, stunned.
Uncalled for, bro. Uncalled for.
"It's over, kid." He snickered, towering over me. "You are mine!"
A Kubrick stare struck my eyes.
In an instant, I crossed my thighs around the track, my knees and feet locked together. Like a viper striking its prey I grabbed Randall's tail and turned over the edge, taking him down with me.
We both dangled from the track, swaying like blades of grass in the wind.
He was at my mercy.
"Yeah, you go gurl, Boo! YOU GO!" Mike cheered from below, jumping up and down while punching the air. Sullivan peered up at me with his straight hand pressed to his brow, like a sailor looking over the blinding ocean. His grin was as bright as day.
I grinned as well, blushing from Micheal's enthusiasm, shaking my head as I hung.
"Don't let me go, don't let me go! Please! Don't hurt me! I'll do anything! Anything!" The cold blooded creature begged, terror stricken.
I rolled my eyes.
Drama queen.
"Hang on," I said, and began to swing him back and forth. "Ha ha, it's funny because you're dangling and I'm—"
Randall, desperate to not fall, pulled up and grabbed my wrists as I swung him, and the surprise of it almost made me let go.
But not just let go of him.
I felt my thighs' grip around the track weaken, but I kept swinging.
Come on you cursed... Thing.
"You know, it's a really good thing your tail doesn't pop off as soon as you're cornered," I said.
Yeah.
I didn't forget about that.
With one final sway, I swung Randall up in reach of the track.
He successfully latched on with his two front arms.
I had saved him.
And, his true intentions revealed, the serpent like creature turned on to me, crawling on top of the track and grabbing my legs, trying to pry them apart.
I kicked Randall from below his chin, sending him flying backwards. He sailed a couple of feet through the air before falling over. He grabbed on to the track with his tail, curling around it like a choking vine on a tree branch.
My thighs slipped further and further.
If I let go, I die.