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SO I GUESS IT ALL started out like this.
The sky was a gorgeous amber as the sun set overhead, basking the school parking lot into a golden haze. Beautiful sunsets were a common sight in the part of Florida where I was from, so it wasn't the brilliance and beauty of the sunset that was making me cry, as I sat inside my white 2013 Honda Accord.
The parking lot of Southview High was deserted as it should have been at six pm on a Friday evening, with the exception of myself, of course. And there I was- sitting in my car, sobbing my heart out with the windows closed as Drake blasted at full volume out my car speakers. You're probably wondering why I was crying in such a psychopathic way all by myself, and you would understand immediately if you saw the book I was holding to my chest as the tears rolled down my face. Yes, you've guessed it, clutched in my fingers was a copy of The Fault In Our Stars by John Green.
Call me weird, but this was one of my favorite places to relax after school- ironically at school itself. It was impossible to find time for myself at my house- my family wasn't the most understanding when it came to my personal space and peace of mind. Living with four other siblings and two (practically insane) parents was quite a feat, but I guess it could be fun at times. Haha, no.
"Why," I dramatically called out to nobody in general, as I wiped the tears off my cheeks. "Why did Gus have to die so early? Why does cancer even exist?!"
Obviously, nobody answered my unanswerable questions, and for a few seconds I just listened to the morbid voice of Drake singing about how fake people showed fake love to him in the background. It was so unfair. Augustus Waters didn't deserve to die!
As I sat there in my car, pondering on the injustice of the entire situation, Drake was interrupted by the annoying sound of my ringtone. I let out a soft huff of annoyance as I pulled the AUX cord out of my phone and glanced at the caller ID. The selfie my younger sister Maddie had forced me to take with her lit up my phone screen, her name blinking across it, and I sighed as I answered the call.
The shrill voice of the sixteen year old hollered into my ear, almost shattering my eardrum before I could utter a single word. "WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?!"
I cursed, pulling my phone a few inches away from my ear, so I wouldn't go partially deaf. "Gee, Mads, I don't think the people asleep in South Arabia heard you."
"Sorry," she snapped back, not sounding sorry at all. "But seriously, Grace, where are you? I've been waiting for way too long now. It's your turn to babysit the kids tonight!"
I slap my hand to my forehead in realization. Today was the day I was supposed to be at home early to look after my little siblings since my parents had another business party to attend to. As orthopaedic surgeons, they worked a lot, but they always had the time for us too. Except on Friday nights. Those were the nights they ditched us to go get wasted with all their high school friends on someone's yacht.
"Crap," I muttered, sheepishly, tugging at a lock of my unruly but strangely straight brown hair. "I completely forgot. Uh, I'll be home soon?"
"How soon?" she demanded. "Because I have a party to get to in like, forty five minutes, and I was counting on you to not ditch me! I can't even leave until you're here because if Mom finds out that I left the kids alone at home, she'd kill me."
"I'm on my way, Maddie," I rolled my eyes. "I hate how you can't just ask Caleb to look after them. And another party? Which one of your pretentious little friends is throwing this party now?"
Maddie sighed heavily. "Caleb's at the party too. And pretentious? Just because you don't have a social life and have like two friends, it doesn't give you the right to put my friends down. And it's Ryan Hailing's birthday- you know Ryan, right? Stacie's boyfriend?"
"Uh," I said, processing all the information my sister was rambling into my ear. "Your best friend's really annoying boyfriend? Isn't he the one who threw up all over me at Stacie's birthday party?"
Maddie paused, before letting out a small sigh. "That was like eight years ago, Ella, you really need to let that go. Besides, Ryan thinks you're cool, he even invited you to the party. Anyway, get your ass home quick, before I'm unfashionably late."
She hung up on me and with an overdramatic sigh, I pressed my hands against the steering wheel. There went my 'personal time'. I knew exactly what was waiting for me as soon as I got home- an eight year old and four year old with a never ending need for bandaids. Don't get me wrong, I loved my younger siblings with the entirety of my heart and all, but something about constantly making PB&J sandwiches for them on a Friday night wasn't all that appealing.
Of course, my very own wonderful twin brother Caleb could have babysat them too, but he managed to escape it all the time. He got away from babysitting by batting his extra long eyelashes at Mom (who always favored Caleb. She'll never admit it but it's blatantly obvious) and by making a long speech on how much he adored our baby siblings but how he had to head over to his girlfriend's house (who changed every month because Caleb was indecisive as hell) to study for some science or math test they had on Monday. Oh please.
And of course, Mom fell for it every single time.
But in all honesty, I really can't complain. It wasn't like I had other plans for tonight, anyway. While Caleb and Maddie had plans for the night, my only plans were to binge watch a show.
I drove the car out of the parking lot slowly (yes, I'm one of those careful drivers, unlike Maddie who likes to paint her nails while she steered the wheel with her toes on the highway), and onto the road. School was only about ten minutes away from home, so I didn't cross 40 on the speed limit.
So now, to go back to how it all started: there I was, an innocent seventeen year old girl, driving home from school just like any other ordinary teenager would be doing. I don't know how or why my life took such an unexpected turn that evening, and I don't know what it was all for.
But as I was carefully driving home on the empty road (surprisingly, there were no other cars on the road), there was a sudden, bright golden flash that streaked right down into the front of my vehicle. A loud, ear shattering bang followed, and my car shook for a millisecond before I slammed my foot down on the break, bringing the car to a violent halt. I hadn't realized that a loud scream had followed (my own scream) and my fingers went white from gripping the wheel so hard. My heart was pounding in my chest, as it took me a few seconds to process what had just happened. What the hell was that weird flash? Had I actually hit something or someone?
I climbed out of my car in a dazed state, and confusion pooled into the pit of my stomach as I stared at the spot where the golden light had been just a few moments ago. There was nothing wrong in the scene, there was no golden light nor was there a dent on the hood of my car from where the light had hit. Had I really hallucinated it? The road was quite empty for six o'clock on a Friday evening and I stood there on the empty road, just blinking for a few seconds.
I was pretty sure I had crashed into something.
"What the heck," I muttered to myself as I ran my fingers through the knots of my hair, trying to calm myself down. Maybe it had been a deer or something. I don't know, but it was definitely something.
Still dazed, I decided to shake it off and to just get home before I went further insane, and walked back to my car, slipping into the driver's seat. The confusion and shock hadn't worn off my mind yet, so I took a sip out of my water bottle, just to calm myself down. What had just occurred was bizarre and so unusual. Pressing my fingers to my temple, I casually looked into the rear view mirror - only to see someone sitting in the backseat of my car.
A startled shriek slash scream of utter horror left my lips immediately as I stared wide-eyed at the stranger who was staring back at me, with an equally startled expression on their face. It was a young guy- probably in his early twenties, with gold hair and eerily pleasant blue eyes, dressed in complete white. "Oh my god," he said, setting his hand on his chest like it was I who had just given him a heart attack. "You scared me! What did you have to scream like that for?"
Mortified, I rattled the door handle of my car door to run away from this stranger who was sitting inside my car (I don't know how he even got there!) but to my utter horror, it was jammed. "No, no, no," I muttered to myself in terror as I frantically tried to push it open, but to my misfortune, it didn't even budge.
The guy let out a sigh, leaning back against the seats. "Don't bother, Grace, none of the doors are going to open. You'll only tire yourself out."
Wide eyed and further terrifed, I turned to the man trembling, with pure shock written all over my features. "Who the hell are you? How did you get into my car? How do you know my name?"
He let out a slow chuckle, his heavenly blue eyes almost sparkling at my words. "You'd be surprised at how much I know about you. But please, before I introduce myself, don't stare at me like that. You're freaking me out. I know that I'm very sexy, but honestly."
I couldn't fathom words to even speak, utterly confused and terrified and dazed at what was happening. Who was this guy and what did he want with me? Was I going to die? How the heck did he even get here? Why weren't the doors opening?
"I'm Felix," he spoke in his creepily musical voice, stretching out his fingers in front of him like this was the most ordinary conversation in the world. I couldn't help but notice how his skin was so inhumanly smooth and perfect, and how he had this creepy but fascinating celestial aura around him. His chiseled features made him look like a Greek god and could easily land him on the front covers of magazines. I know what you're probably thinking. There's a strange dude sitting in the back of your car, Grace, and you're admiring his beauty? Don't judge me folks, but he could have easily been a model.
"And how I got into your car, well, that wasn't too hard considering I managed to distract you with the flash thing," He grinned. "All I had to do was open the car door and get in. But the doors aren't going to open for you, so don't even bother trying."
"Are you going to kill me?" I whispered, my voice shaking, as I leaned away as far as I could. "Because I don't want to die yet. I still don't know who Marissa chooses on The Bachelor, and the new episode comes out tomorrow-"
"I'm not going to kill you," Felix rolled his eyes slowly at me. "Do I actually look like a serial killer to you? I always thought I was way too hot to be one."
"I'm so confused," was all I could say as I stared at him, my mind so boggled that it didn't even know what to think. Felix smiled, almost with affection. "Trust me, you'll be even more confused when I tell you the entire story. But first, you need to calm down. I can hear your heart pound from all the way here and that's not just because I'm a celestial being."
"You're a what," my jaw dropped slightly, my brain still taking time to process everything he was saying. "A celestial being? Like what, an alien?"
He scowled at that, adjusting his perfect hair at my words. "Ew, no. I'm way above those filthy creatures. I'm a paragon of virtue, an assistant of the almighty."
When he saw my everlasting confused expression, he let out a when-will-she-catch-on sigh. "To put it in plain words, I'm an angel, Grace."
And that's when the reality of the entire situation slammed into me and I snapped out of my daze, sitting up right immediately. "Oh my god, you psycho, get out of my car! I'm going to call the cops if you don't-"
I grabbed the nearest object to me - my backpack - and began to hit him with it and he winced, letting out an annoyed squeal. "Ouchie! Stop hitting me, Grace! Even though I'm basically immortal and I can never really experience true immense physical pain, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when you hit me with a fifty pound vintage forever 21 backpack!"
"Get out!" I yelled, turning towards my car door again, in attempts to run away from this freak who had somehow managed to get inside my car. "Holy shit, why isn't the door opening?"
"I told you, it won't open until I allow it to do so!" Felix snapped, as he rubbed his arm from where I had hit him repeatedly. "Now stop panicking, you have that crazy look in your eyes that I know all too well. I've been watching you since you were born!"
Freaked out now, I realized in horror that I couldn't do anything about this situation. I immensely regretted not taking Caleb seriously when he told me to keep a bottle of pepper spray in my bag at all times. This was when it hit me- I was completely screwed. I turned in suspicion, weary of this drug addict in the back of my sedan. "What do you mean by you've been watching me since I was born?"
Felix looked relieved as he saw my posture go from batshit freaked out to slightly calmer, and his eyes met mine. "Can you please just get out of my car? I really don't want to get murdered by a serial killer right now, and I have a strong feeling you are one," I repeated, mostly because I was one hundred percent sure I was hallucinating this. I really was sleep deprived, maybe I needed more sleep. I was having a civilized conversation with a serial killer, what was wrong with me?
A really pretty serial killer, I wanted to add because okay, he was insanely beautiful. I wasn't even exaggerating- he looked like perfection. His face was completely symmetrical and chiseled, the face many people die over and pay millions of dollars to plastic surgeons to get. He had blonde hair that was perfectly styled, in that beautiful intentionally messy way. He looked too good to be human.
"You're hurting my feelings, I'm not a serial killer, Grace," he rolled his eyes at me, as he leaned back into the seats, stretching his arms into the air and above his head. "I'm not going to murder you..." he paused, glanced at the watch on his wrist and then smirked. "But you're still probably going to die today because you're making Maddie really late for her party."
I almost flinched at his words and glanced at the time. Shit, he was right. She was going to kill me. But slow as I was, the second realization hit me. How the hell did he know Maddie?! This was getting freaky. I had a stalker in my car.
He had the courage to smirk at my confusion, which prickled annoyance in the back of my mind. "Like I said, I know everything about you, Grace Julia O'Hara."
"Yes," the sarcasm was seeping into my tone now, impatient with this intruder in my life. "You know everything since you're apparently an angel and all."
"Oh, not any angel," he corrected me, leaning forward so his eyes could pierce into mine. "I'm your angel. Your guardian angel to be precise."
I blinked - and the hilariousness of the situation rammed into me. I let out a breathy laugh. "You're on drugs, aren't you? This is why you shouldn't do drugs, kids."
"No, Grace," he rolled his eyes impatiently. "I'm not on drugs, I'm an actual angel. It'd make everything easier if you believe me. Also, can you please buy this quickly? Because there's a reason to why I'm here in your untidy car, having this conversation with you."
"Hey! My car is not untidy!" I exclaimed, offended and Felix made a face, gesturing to the stack of old magazines and books I had laying in the back seat. "Yes, it is. You're a hoarder."
I frowned, and he let out a laugh, shaking his head. "I've always wanted to have a conversation with you in person, Grace, you're just as amusing in real life as I thought you'd be."
I wanted to scream. "Okay, I've had enough. I'm calling the cops now. Can you please just get out?" I was desperate now, pleading this psycho to leave because I didn't exactly have much option left. Maybe I could knock him out, but for some reason, I didn't have the courage to do so. If Caleb were here, he'd have socked this guy in the face, thrown him into the woods and called 911.
Felix let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head at me like he was extremely tired. "Grace. I'm not a psycho. I'm actually your guardian angel. The sooner you believe me, the better it is for everyone. Most guardian angels don't reveal themselves to their humans, you know. There's a reason I'm here."
I pressed my hand to my forehead, checking if I was building up a fever. This hallucination was getting out of hand. With a tired, giving in sigh, I fell back into my seat, watching the dude through my rear view mirror, too exhausted to even turn around. "Okay, so you want me to believe that you're my guardian angel? Prove it to me."
A devilish smirk (ironic) spread over the boy's lips and he nodded, enthusiastically. "Now we're getting somewhere. I can definitely prove it to you. Hmm, what can I do to convince you that I'm your angel? Lemme think. Oh, wait, do you want me to show you your favorite memory?"
"What?" I scrunched up my nose at him. "You're gonna show me my favorite memory? How do you even know what that is? I mean, I don't even know what my favorite memory is. I can't decide."
"You have many," Felix agreed, drumming his long, sculpted fingers against the headrest of the car seat, a thoughtful expression on his face. "But I can show you the memory you cherish the most."
I raised my eyebrows, and he just continued to smirk, and suddenly we weren't in my car anymore.
We were standing in the backyard of my old house, back in California, the state we lived in almost thirteen years ago. A startled squeal left my lips at the sudden, drastic change and I gripped Felix's arm to steady myself - and was more than surprised at how un-human he felt. His arm was cold to touch and unexplainable smooth and I retracted my hand, sort of creeped out.
"Remember this old place?" Felix asked me, raising his arms to gesture at the little backyard. "You used to love it here. I remember how devastated you were when you were moving."
Bewildered, I looked around the backyard to see that nothing had changed since the time we lived here thirteen years ago. That was weird. Shouldn't things have altered slightly?
To answer my question, Felix rushed his fingers through his luscious locks with a knowing smile. "We're not in the present, Grace O'Hara. This is the past."
And right on cue, the back door of the house swung open and two giggling toddlers rushed out, screaming at the top of their lungs as their mother followed them, a baby on her hip. I recognized these kids immediately and my chest constricted, in pure shock at what I was watching. Those people who looked like strangers, well, they were us.
Four year old Caleb (who had changed considerably over the years; for starters, he had been absolutely adorable as a baby) grabbed four year old Grace's hand and pulled her towards the swing set in the backyard, a gleeful giggle escaping his lips. Clumsy little Grace tripped over her own feet, running after her twin brother as they clambered onto the set, shrieking at the top of their lungs.
I didn't remember this ever happening. Was this my most cherished memory?
I glanced at younger Mom who was cuddling a two year old Maddie to her chest, as she settled on the back porch, watching her kids with almost a loving smile on her face. This was way long before my other two siblings (now eight year old Aidan and three year old Wyatt) were born, when it was only Caleb, Maddie and I. Don't get me wrong, I loved my baby brothers more than anything, but things used to be different back when we were little. Mom used to be more relaxed (three kids versus five kids) and she was much younger. Mom and Dad met when they were only eighteen and got married by twenty two, so they were incredibly young when they had us.
"I'm sure you'll remember what occurred this day, Grace," Felix said, in his annoyingly airy and musical tone. I tried to remember, but nothing came to mind. "I have no idea," I admitted.
"Watch," Felix winked and when I turned to glance at baby Caleb and baby me, I suddenly realized that we had disappeared. In confusion, I glanced at Mom who was cradling Maddie, and she let out an annoyed sigh. "Caleb! Grace! Will you two get out of from under there?"
"Mommy! Mommy, look!" Toddler Grace gasped from wherever she had disappeared to and in a flash, I realized that the kids had crawled under the swing set, out of sight. I furrowed my eyebrows, as the memory slowly began to fade back, and it dawned on me when I realized what was going happen.
Oh my god. I had completely forgotten about this day.
A small, smile spread over my lips as I watched the memory play out in front of me, my heart warming at the remembrance. How could I have forgotten?
A moment later, Caleb crawled out from under the swing set, a look of glee on his face and Grace followed only seconds after - but she was holding something to her chest. Horror filled Mom's face as she saw her four year old cradle something to her chest. "Grace! Put that down right now! What even is that?"
I grinned at the younger version of myself, who held up the tiniest, fluffiest ball of sunshine to the sky, a look of pure adoration on her face. "Look, mommy! I found this little puppy under the swing set!"
That was Oreo. Our dog.
I could've laughed at how brave little Grace had been as she waddled towards her mother, holding the baby puppy close and caring. Mom stared, horrified but also confused, as she put Maddie down and reached towards Grace. Her eyes fell on the adorable puppy and it was evident from the look on her face that Mom had fallen deeply in love with Oreo.
I grinned at the memory, a weirdly amazing feeling spreading through my chest, the nostalgia suddenly fresh in my mind. And Felix was snapping his fingers and suddenly we were back in my car.
This time, the car wasn't in the middle of the road from where I had stopped almost ten minutes ago but was pulled into the lot of a pharmacy parking lot. Confused, I turned to look at Felix who shrugged. "You parked right in the middle of the street, I had to get you somewhere safe."
The seriousness of this whole thing was settling into the pit of my stomach now and I felt ill. All this wasn't a hallucination. It was true. This dude was my guardian angel. This was crazy, especially because I never believed in all this stuff. Angels and heaven and all of that, it really wasn't something I gave too much thought about. I felt shaken, as I stared at Felix in a new light. "You really are my guardian angel."
Felix watched me carefully, as the understanding set into my eyes as he smiled. "So you believe me now?"
I took a shaky breath in, closing my eyes. "This is crazy."
"This is only the beginning," Felix smirked, pressing a cold hand against my shoulder, and I could almost feel the dreading doom of what he was about to say next. "This is absolutely nothing compared to what I'm going to tell you next."
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a/n: this is something i've wanted to write for the longest time ever and i'm glad i made it through the first chapter. don't forget to vote and comment🌸
~harshita