Chapter 6
I had never experienced romance. It was a fantasy - something I only read about in novels and imagined in my mind.
With the optimistic hope that I'd meet my significant other in college, I welcomed Matt with open arms. However, after several months, I came to a shattering conclusion that Matt failed to be everything I expected. What they had described in the novels didn't apply to my own relationship. He didn't spontaneously show up at my doorstep with flowers, never once bought me a present for Valentine's Day, and when he actually gave me a box of chocolates, it was the outcome of a fifty percent off sale following Halloween.
To complete the whole tragedy of my reality, he only left two pieces for me - even then, I considered myself lucky.
Contrast to everything I had been through with my past relationship, Nate Chester was a dream come true.
Because of my failed attempt at a love life, I had grown out of my belief in prince charming, fairy-tales, soul mates, and love at first sight. But last night, Nate proved to me that they were all possibilities, and I had merely taken the wrong direction my first time down the dirt road of love. Or whatever I was starting to feel with him.
He barely opened up about his past, but he didn't need to because I never bothered to ask. With us, nothing of his past mattered.
He questioned me, though, asked about what made my life different than everyone he'd come across. Unlike Bessa and Kevin, I didn't feel quite as nervous or flustered. What shocked me most was that instead of harassing me for how very little in excitement my life sounded, Nate listened intently and clung onto my every word. He applauded my achievements, laughed at the embarrassing moments, and even congratulated himself when I admitted that the night we met was the most exciting night I've ever had.
I was overwhelmed with Nate Chester, though not like I had been before. I had an increasing level of comfort in his presence; a sensuality I never thought would arise.
After paying for dinner, he escorted me for a walk around Central Park. It was serene and natural scenery away from the city scapes. Sure, it was a complete violation of the pact we'd agreed upon, to avoid each other strictly for the entirety of our employments, but it easily slipped both our minds. It might have been the fluidity in the smoothness of the night, the wall of tension that had broken down between us, or the enclosing silence that left us with the notion that we were the only two people left in the world. Any of these could serve as the possibility to why Nate had opened up to me about his future.
He explained that one day, even though it was in his birthright, he did actually want to own Chester Publications, not to live the legacy, but to leave his own. Not surprisingly, he disagreed with most of his father's ideas and even more, the way he ran the company. I stared in bewilderment as he listed the various ways he'd make the company more enjoyable for his employees - more health benefits, vacation days, and a little more room to breathe in a corporate world.
"What does that four stand for?" I pointed to the finger sticking out from where his had crossed his arms. He held out the hand above us as we walked through a maze of trees. I had been curious about the inked number since the night we met.
I could see his teeth gleaming through the blackness of the night. "That's a story for next time."
I arched a brow. "Next time?
He lowered the hand down letting it caress the side of my face. My skin burned underneath his but I didn't inch or push him away. "If there ever is one."
I shook my head furiously. "There can't be. We're already pushing it over the edge just being here tonight."
Nate let out a large sigh. "I know. To be frank, I don't know what we're doing. I don't know what's going on."
My laughter was quiet. "I know exactly how you feel. We can't be friends but we can't be more than friends either."
"My guess is that we're just meant to exist," He shrugged.
I don't know if it happened to be the delicious champagne he had ordered or that romantic gesture of walking around Central Park, but by the time we reached my apartment, I was swooning under Nate Chester's charm. At the door, he stepped forward to where I could feel his warm breath on my forehead.
"What are you –"
Before I could protest, his lips crashed onto mine.
We kissed.
And hell, could Nate Chester kiss. It was tantalizing, making my mind swirl in a melting pot of indulgence and bliss. There was a serious make out session that followed shortly after, in the foyer of my apartment. Skin, hair, lips, tongue. Hands interlacing, fingers running grazing soft flesh, necks hot and smothered. There was a lot of heated tension going on and I couldn't feel anything except pleasure.
But just as fast as it came, it went away.
"We can't," I breathed out when we broke apart. "We can't do this anymore."
Nate pressed his forehead against mine and nodded. "Okay. But it feels-"
"I know," I stopped him. "But we can't."
When he saw the gravity in my eyes, he returned the same look with intensity. "Okay."
As we decided to part ways, we came to an agreement that this would never happen again. The pact was in high effect once more. This was the last time I'd ever get to touch Nate, feel him, and breathe him. After last night, we were nothing but two infatuated souls working in the same office.
It was inappropriate. I know. But for an inexplicable reason, the pieces fell into place. Mesmerizing and illuminating something inside me in a way I've never been touched before. I couldn't place it in my heart or mind where this feeling was coming from. The way I felt around Nate wasn't internal - I didn't feel a spark or butterflies - but as if feeling his touch satisfied this savage hunger of mine. I found myself yearning for his touch throughout the night and then cursing myself, knowing I had to stop.
It wasn't true love, it wasn't even real. But hell, it was the closest to a romantic experience I've ever had.
__________________________________
The next day at work, the other interns swarmed around me like bees to a hive. They threw a million questions at my direction about dinner with Nate, wondering what they should expect and what subjects to avoid. It didn't seem fair that I had somewhat of an advantage over them, having this personal relationship with Nate. It was unavoidable but I had to hide it.
"Is he as nice as he is to everyone? Or is he one of those guys who pretends to be nice but alone he's really mean?" Bessa put both elbows on my desk and rested her chin on her fists, her curls bouncing with life.
"Was the dinner really on him? Because yesterday my manager made me get him a cup of coffee and I had to pay for it," Tony asked hovering above me.
Chelsea smirked at this. "Maybe our manager sees you more like his bitch than his intern."
Kevin choked on his laughter before saying. "Tony's everyone's bitch."
"Shut up," Tony punched Kevin's arm which made him laugh even harder.
"That was mean Kevin!" Bessa pouted at him.
Kevin rubbed Bessa's shoulder. "Bess, he's my cousin, I was practically born with the right to screw around with him."
"No wonder you're both just as annoying as the other. You're related," Chelsea shook her head at them.
"Guys!" I yelled even though I was trying to hold back a laugh. "Yes, he's nice and yes, he did pay. Happy?"
Chelsea slammed her hands on the desk causing me and Bessa to jump. Her lips smacked as she chewed on some gum. "A little more information would be nice. Unless you're too selfish to give us some help."
I sat back in my chair and crossed my arms. "And why would I even want to help you?"
Bessa gave me a terrified look. "Haley, come on. He's the boss! We just want to know what questions he's going to ask."
"Help a brotha out," Tony wrapped one of his arms around my neck. He was so close to my face that I practically itched when his beard rubbed against my ear.
"Oh gosh," I said as he batted his eyelashes playfully at me. I giggled, trying to push him off me but he kept leaning in closer, his weight overpowering my non-existent strength. "Okay! Okay!"
"Atta girl," Kevin lightly punched me. I smiled at him warmly.
"Well, he asked how I liked working at Forward, my personal life, and what I wanted to in the future. General get-to-know me questions you'd ask anyone," I shrugged. "You guys don't have anything to worry about. He can't fire us yet, we just got here."
Bessa let out the air she'd been holding in. "That's good to know. I wonder where he'll take me for dinner."
"If he takes me to a bar, I'm working here forever," Tony raised his hand as if swearing to an oath.
Chelsea snapped her gum annoyingly. "That's it? I wasted my time ever coming here."
Kevin whistled as she turned on her heel and sauntered away from all of us. "That girl's got problems."
"Tell me about it," Tony grunted, "I'm never eating lunch alone with her again. She talked about herself the whole goddamn time, I almost slapped her."
Bessa and I burst out laughing. "That's horrible!"
"Imagine living through it!" A few veins popped out of Tony's forehead. "She made the waiter read her the specials menu three times because, I guess, she couldn't hear him the first two times 'cause all she hears is her own voice. She ended up ordering an appetizer as her entree and claimed everything else on the menu had too many carbs."
The three of us laughed at Tony's outburst. We could see the redness pouring through his beard. But after a few seconds, he quickly joined us in laughter at the situation.
"Chelsea's crazy, but she's nice sometimes," Bessa offered. "She's just a bit controlling."
"A bit?" I screeched. "I-"
"What's all this commotion about?"
The four of us froze. When everyone turned around, I saw Nate standing with his hands in his pockets giving us an inquisitive expression.
"Is there something I missed?"
Tony gulped. "Uh, no, sorry Nate."
The three of them shuffled away like we'd just gotten in trouble. Maybe it was my personal relationship with Nate, or maybe it's because no one else like Chelsea either. I don't know where the source came from, but I didn't feel intimidated in Nate's presence anymore.
He raised an eyebrow at me. "What's so funny?"
I looked to my left to find that Sarah was, of course, delving into some research needed for her next article, and was oblivious to the world around her.
I whispered to him, covering the side of my face and said. "We were talking smack about you."
He scoffed. "You all were? Or you were?"
I crossed my arms and shrugged. "Okay, you caught me."
He laughed and stepped closer, leaning down so our faces were inches away. "Don't let me catch you again, troublemaker."
Two things happened at once. Nate reached a hand over to caress the side of my cheek to which I didn't even bother moving because I had been waiting for his touch all night. Right about the same time our skin made contact, an annoying voice rang through the air.
"Hey Nate, I-"
Nate's hand flew away from my face almost as quickly as I blinked. When I opened my eyes again, he had swiftly turned around and perched a thigh on the front of my desk, pretending to have been sitting down. We both faced Chelsea who had stopped mid-way, her gaze stumbling around to find some clarity on what just happened.
"Uh, sorry, am I interrupting something?"
"No!"
We both cried at the same time.
Chelsea squinted her eyes at us. "Um, okay."
"What did you need Chelsea?" Nate asked, crossing his arms. I was shocked he got her name right for once.
"Lory needs to see you. Something urgent about the photo shoot next week," She answered, still narrowing her eyes in suspicion.
Nate nodded at me before heading over to the women and men's health where Chelsea and her department were located. Chelsea strayed behind, her eyes still peering through me.
"Can I help you?"
She slowly took a few steps forward, the heels of her stiletto's clacking against the floor. "Was Nate just touching your cheek?"
I blinked but kept my focus on her. Heat began to rise in my chest but before it could hit my neck I firmly responded, "No."
"Huh," She licked her lips. "I could have sworn that his hand was reaching over to you. It could be my vision - I was in a rush and didn't have time to put in my contacts today. Convenient that I left my glasses home as well."
"Could be that," I shrugged coolly. "Anyway, I need to get back to my work."
I started aimlessly rifling through a few scraps of paper on my desk, appearing like I was arranging files. Chelsea only slowly started walking away when she turned back and said, "You know, if I were you, I'd be careful. There are people watching everywhere."
I raised my head at her. "Thanks for the advice."
"Mhmm," She mumbled before swaying her hips back to her department.
______________________
A week later, our introduction pieces were published in the latest issue of Forward. Compared to the others, Sarah was right - my introduction was the best one. Of course, everyone's writing had a unique style: Kevin loved to describe, Tony put in a chunk of humor, and Bessa was very educational, and Chelsea, unsurprisingly, sounded like a straight up snob. Each of our articles was impressive in our own way but I have to admit, mine stood out among the rest.
"Haley, your piece is amazing," Bessa gushed to me during one of our lunches. This time, Tony had joined us and Chelsea hadn't bothered to even show up. The four of us sat in a booth at a delicious diner located right across Chester Publications.
By now, I had gotten used to going out to lunch with the other interns. Whether it was me and Bessa, or Kevin and Tony, I found that I was never alone. I knew that this was the first step in settling down here in such a big city.
I missed my parents and of course, Madison. But having a wonderful group of people to lean on definitely lessened the effect that homesickness had on me. At my apartment, it was also hard to feel completely alone since we had created a group message through text on our phones. We had conversations about our favorite TV shows (we all agreed that Modern Family is the only reason comedy still exists on network television), the music we listened to (Bessa and I had a guilty pleasure for Katy Perry while the boys thought it was sickening to the ears), and created a list of the cafe's and restaurants we wanted to have lunch at.
I was devouring the BLT I had ordered before Tony said, "Your piece kicked ass. But mine was better."
"Please," Kevin set his own burger down. "My intro was obviously the best one."
Bessa giggled. "I think we can all agree, Haley's was the best."
I scrunched my face at her, feeling modest. "Thanks Bessa. But everyone's piece was great. I got to know a little bit more about you. Tony, I had no idea that there was such a thing as professional diving. And the fact that you almost went to the Olympics is pretty cool."
I stared at Tony with admiring eyes. I didn't notice it before, but without the blazer covering his muscular frame, Tony was built with a swimmers body. His shoulders were broad for wide strokes and elongated arms stretched for miles.
"I had no idea Bessa was such a bad ass! Tipping over cows in the middle of the night? Rebel," Tony winked at her who was blushing like crazy. He laughed when she threw a piece of sliced pickle at him, almost getting it lost in his beard.
"It's a dangerous thing to do in my town! If my parents ever found out I was the reason why four of our best cows were found in a pile of their own poop, I'd be dead," She looked at us with widened horrified eyes. The three of us burst out laughing, and even she eventually joined in when Kevin accidentally spat out the remnants of the burger that was in his mouth.
"Who's next to have dinner with Nate?" I asked once we all caught our breaths.
Kevin raised his hand and I couldn't help but smile at him. For some reason, every time my gaze was directed towards Kevin, my face naturally turned into a grin. He proved to be such a sweet gentleman this past week. He held my doors open, let me off the elevator's first, and whenever he made a Starbucks run, he wouldn't leave before asking me if I wanted anything.
On the other hand, Nate and I had successfully done a spectacular job at avoiding each other. There were the occasional glances when he passed my desk on the way to his office and the awkward silences in the elevator's, but besides that, it's as if everything that happened between us never existed.
I was conflicted in my feelings towards him. We were doing what I wanted - to stay far away from each other and keep the boss to co-worker relationship the only thing between us. But I'd be lying if I said that a part of me didn't miss him. There was a fraction of my heart that still longed to be wrapped in his arms, soft lips caressing each other, and hands all over our bodies.
However, that fraction was beginning to die down. Seeing Nate at work didn't make my heart skip a beat or get my pulse racing. It's as if his touch and his touch alone was the only thing that had enough power to send me over the edge. We hadn't spoken a word since the dinner and I don't know when we will. For now, I'm okay with the distance.
"Are you nervous?" I asked Kevin now, pushing thoughts of Nate out of my mind.
Kevin shook his head, causing a few strands from his comb over to leave their spot. "Nah, Nate's not that much older than us. He's not intimidating."
I admired Kevin's confidence. "That's true, he's really not. Our dinner was very relaxed."
"Are you serious?" Bessa said with her mouth full of potato chips. "He's totally scary to me."
"You're scared of everything, you little baby," Tony said. Since I was sitting closest to him, I punched his shoulder the same time as Kevin kicked his shin underneath the table.
"Tony, don't be mean," I scolded him.
"Shut up, T," Kevin gritted through his teeth.
After a week of hanging out with Tony, I realized he had a filter problem - he didn't have one. He wasn't arrogant, no. He just didn't know when to keep things to himself nor realized if he hurt anyone's feelings. Sometimes, it was funny, especially when his conversations were directed to Chelsea. But Bessa was an innocent bystander.
Although, what he did say was true: Bessa freaked out over minor things. For example, the other day when the elevator doors got stuck, the three of us were naturally calm, knowing that these kind of unexpected technical difficulties were normal. But Bessa claimed that they never had elevators back in her hometown and at college, she always took the stairs to avoid it. So, when she started screaming bloody Mary, we knew something was totally wrong.
Kevin and I adjusted our sensitivity to Bessa. Tony had a little bit of a harder time.
Bessa glanced down to her food, keeping silent. When I looked over at Tony, I could see the guilt written in his eyes. "Sorry B, I didn't mean it like that."
"It's okay," Bessa gave him a tiny smile and shrugged. "I get that I haven't been exposed to a lot of things you guys have been. I was raised eating foods we grew from our farm so I have no idea what your burger or fries tastes like."
"You raised cows and you've never tasted a burger?" Tony's jaw dropped.
"Uh," I nervously laughed. "That might be why she's never tasted a burger."
"Oh, don't worry, I'm not vegetarian or anything," Bessa said. "My parents just liked to eat everything made at home and we never made burgers."
Kevin and I's eyes widened as we practically shoved a plate full of fries and his half eaten burger to her. "Please, Bess, try it!"
Tony urged on. "Okay, now you have to try this stuff out if you want to be a part of our group."
"Our group?" I questioned.
"Yeah, we're cool friends now right?" Tony winked at me.
Silence.
"What?" He raised a brow at me when he realized I'd been staring at him.
"I just...have never been part of a group of friends before," I admitted, biting my lip.
"What do you mean?" Bessa asked. She grabbed a handful of fries and closed her eyes to savor the smell. "Oh man, these smell awesome!"
"You know how much I keep to myself," I said after I giggled at her. "I don't go out a lot which means, I don't have many friends."
"Well, you could've fooled me," Kevin said. "You're a natural at socializing."
Tony grunted in agreement. "Dude, you're totally chill. I like girls like you and Bessa, no uptight bullshit. Unlike-"
"Chelsea."
The rest of us finished his sentence. This sent us into another fit of hysterical laughter. I looked around at the four of us laughing and a rush of excitement formed in the pit of my stomach. For the first time, I fit in some place. I wasn't alone.