Virtue is insufficient temptation.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
Dear Ashley,
We're back together. Last night, Bailey invited me to hang out with her and Chey, my cousin. I gladly went over so I could get my mind off of everything. They are weed smokers while I have never touched drugs, other than my inhalers and headache medications, in my life. However, this time when they said they were smoking I said "fuck it" and joined in as well. Honestly, it felt no different than when I take my morning inhaler, but maybe I did it wrong.
Anyway, the next morning I felt so bad about what I had done, I turned to Tristen. I was hesitant at first but he's always been the only person I could confide in. To say I was shocked when he replied back to my text would be an understatement, but I was happy he did nonetheless. I asked if we could talk, I told him I did something bad and I really regret it. Instantly, he bombarded me with questions and wanted to make sure I was okay.
I assured him I was and then told him everything I did and why I did it. I honestly was so lost with myself that I had stopped caring about what I did and if I could get hurt or in trouble for it. He asked me to call and I gladly did as I walked home from Chey's. We talked my whole way home... we talked about everything. I found out that he left me because he felt that I didn't trust him because I wouldn't tell him things that were wrong and how I felt. I told him that I was scared that he'd leave me if he knew the things that went through my mind, but turns out I was only pushing him away more by doing so. After I washed my clothes because they smelt like marijuana and showered, he invited me over and I gladly went.
It was so amazing to see him again and to be in his arms. I missed him more than I realized. Im very thankful that nothing was awkward when we saw each other, we picked up right where we left off. While, I still am insecure about everything that has happened, I think I can move past it so we can move on and be happy together.
December 27th 2014
Jesalique Jordyn Dianne Hires