A/n: I'm just curious but how old are u guys and which part of the world do u live?
Jimin's POV
Did I get kissed?!?! Taehyung shouts, slightly waking me up enough that I become conscious, but not entirely for my breathing to change or my body to move.
Next thing I know I get an elbow to the stomach, a handful of morning light flooding into my vision as my eyes open instantly with an oof sound escaping out from the bowel of my body, the incident startling me so much that my heart stopped beating for a good few seconds.
A weird pain floats throughout my insides that make me feel, vomity, nauseous, and numb; in all simplicity it made me feel sick and hurt like hell.
I roll to my side because laying flat on my back didn't help one bit; my arms gripping my stomach tightly trying to just cover over the pain with brute force. Closing my eyes firmly shut didn't do anything to stop the agony I was going through, but it still made me feel better.
"I'm Sorry!" Tae loudly apologizes as he rushes to my side, kind of just there for emotional support cause he can't do anything about the physical pain he inflicted. "Jiminie are you okay?"
I peak one eye open to look at him. Why does he look so worried, it doesn't suit him. I like when he smiles and we make fun of each other, not when he worries about me.
So in my attempt to make him smile, I mold a smile to plaster across my dying expression. "I'll survive," I joke with my voice coming across low and rough.
"...I'm sorry," he repeats as he lightly glides his fingers across my cheek to somehow finding their way into playing with my tangled hair.
After looking he begins to stare and at first I wondered why, but then I also start staring at him; trying to analyze why he makes me feel...... different?
I don't think different is the best word to explain this flurry feeling I constantly get in my stomach and this everlasting thickness in my chest when I think about him; which is quite often.
When he smiles it makes my day believed to be hopeful, hopeful that I'll continue to see that smile for a long time coming.
And when he laughs, It's a sweet, tender giggle that looks like a rare diamond that can buy the whole world; I feel to protect it from turning sour.
So when he cried that one time and because of me, I swear it pained me more than it pained him when I saw him like that.
My heart clenched after I realized how troubled he actually was and I felt suffocated to know I didn't have a clue about his insecurity. Just to know that he was troubled by so much doubt, and I don't think he knew himself how heavy that weighed on his heart until he cried oceans.
What makes me hate myself is that I think I sensed it but I ignored it for my owns doubts. And the very thing I doubted upon, ended up hurting Taehyung instead. I was too paranoid of getting hurt myself, to notice Tae struggling to keep a smile. And I regretted putting so much on his shoulders for him to think about, so now I'm scared that I'll regret kissing him.
He blinks multiple times, and it makes me think that I'm the one that's blinking. His face turns darker shades of red rapidly; at first I stupidly thought he got sunburnt considerably easily, then I figured out he was madly blushing when he covered his face in embarrassment.
The blush going even throughout the tops of his ears; my heart punching my chest constantly at his cuteness.
"You kissed me," He brings up as he looks at me through this fingers, only five percent of his face showing while the rest was covered by his massive, yet skinny hands; still crouching down next to me.
"Yeah," I confessed softly, the feeling of embarrassment starting to rise in my own face, and just like him I try to use my hand to cover over it. " I did."
"B-but why?" He stutters over the question; I can literally see the confusion spinning in his eyes.
I open my mouth to respond, but no words come out of it. Why did I kiss Taehyung; I don't even know the answer to that question myself. I pondered on the question, not really prepared to explain what I did. How can I justify it without saying the wrong thing.
"Why is it day," he questions as he furrows his eyes looking to find the big star to where the source of light was coming from. I think I took too long and Tae's attention span just hit zero because this was such a random question.
"We slept outside," I respond swiftly and clearly, causing his gaze to turn to me, just to be broken by him turning away his head sharply and another faint blush.
A blanket of silence starts to set in the air. Maybe I should try to explain why I kissed him now, try to figure it out while I'm speaking.
"I think we should talk about yesterday Tae, well mainly last night, " I start, not really sure where I'm going with this but I hope I'll say the right thing.
"The fireflies were beautiful, it was my first time seeing something so breathtaking and I'm extremely thankful you showed it to me. I haven't had that much fun since my childhood; so basically a great amount of years.
We fell and I worried that you were hurt, but you just smiled and giggled at me when I asked. I think that's when I blanked out. After I saw your smile; and all I could see after that, was you.
So I'm not entirely sure why I kissed you at the moment, it felt like it came on instinct; before my mind could catch up with my actions, but I think I like you.
I'm not 100 percent sure because Ive never felt this way before but I think because I've never felt this was before that means I care for you more than anyone I've known. I might like you Tae, more than a friend."
I wait for him to to say something , blink, do anything but all his does is stand there staring at nothing in particular.
There's two ways this can go. He can accept my feeling and we can actually figure out for sure what this feel is together, or he can push me away and our relationship can become shaky. I really went on a gamble with this.
A quiteness covers over us like a thick fog, it feels like I'm suffocating from lost of oxygen when your underwater; the feeling you get when your choking back tears.
Why isn't he saying anything?
"Hey, Tae please say something," my voice comes out shakier than I expected as I touch his shoulder, just for him to lose the color from his face and brush my hand off his shoulder.
When it happened, something in me felt like it broke.
I've gotta go," he murmurs standing up quickly; not even making eye contact with me. By the time I get up to go after him, he's already feet away from me heading home.
Why is he leaving so quick?
"Wait Tae," I say rushing behind him, but he doesn't stop at the call of my voice. I reach for his shoulder, yet this time I don't make the connection. He can feel the warmness of my hand, for he stopped when it was centimeters close. I hesitated about touching him, and in the end I didn't.
"Is it because I-," My throat clogs up, unable to continue speaking without feeling like I'm chocking on the words.
I feel a gaze on my fingers as I fumbled around with them in nervousness, and the only person here his Tae. I bring my gaze from the ground to his eyes, basically in sync with his, just for him to rip it away with an abrupt head turn.
His face showed multiple emotions, all bipolar from each other; I couldn't tell which one to go off, but what stood out the most to me was a terrified look.
"What happened" I want to ask myself, but I already know the answer.
I watched as he walks away from me; the feeling of losing grasp on him is already hitting me. There was a 50/50 chance which way that would go, and it's just my luck that it went the terrible way out of the two.
This is the kind of disgusting my dad was talking about. The one that he'd warn me about, when I'll become too close to someone.
Now I weirded him out.
I just stood there and watched as he slipped out of my touch, with a broken feeling resting somewhere in my chest.
---
I stayed there until it got dark, sitting on the shade of the tree until it spread like a virus to the rest of the earth.
I didn't want to feel the warmness of the sun, for I felt that my tears would melt and run. So I stayed in the dark, where they can freeze in my eyes before they escaped.
I open the door to my house and find my mom rushing around wearing a beautiful navy blue dress and covered in jewels. It took her some time to finally notice that I was there.
"Oh, Jimin," she says darting across the room to another, quickly putting in an earring that sparkled intensely. " Your father and I are going out to dinner party for his work. Are you going to be alright with stay here all by yourself? I know how you don't like being alone."
"Yeah I'll be fine"; that was a lie. After feeling like I got rejected, I wanted my mom to comfort me. But I know how she rarely goes out with dad, so I want her to be happy and have fun; the excitement is written all over her face anyway.
"Hey mom?" I say softly, making her stop moving around to give me her full attention. "What would you call this emotion when you feel all antsy around someone and when you think about them for a split seconds, it turns into thinking about them for endless hours."
"Hmm," she says trying to understand my complex description of a simple feeling. " That sounds like have a crush on someone, so you like them like them. How come you asked?"
"It's nothing, I was just wondering," I say like it was a nonchalant thing to me. For some reason I don't want my parents to find out that I like Tae.
"Ok," she agreed with suspiciousness in her eyes, wanting to get more into the matter but not having enough time to do it.
"I love you," she coos as she kisses my forehead, caressing my cheek and staring at me with loving eyes; a wave of worry slightly hitting them.
"Jimin are you sure your going to be ok, you look sad," she says staring into my eyes." I could stay home with you if you want."
I can't hide certain emotions from my mom, she always seems to see through me fake smiles like it's glass.
"Nah, go on fun I'll be fine," I try to convince, even though she saw through my other smile I still put on a new one.
She looks at me a little longer before she lightly pulls my head to her should, hugging me tightly yet softly. "Alright," she says not sounding fully convinced, but she wasn't going to push the matter.
I watch as my mom says goodbye and goes out the front door, leaving me there just alone.
I trudge over to the couch as I plop myself on it back first. My arm covers my eyes to block out the light from melting the water forming in my eyes.
Like my mom said I don't like being alone; It's uncomfortable and it always keeps me on edge. It's so easy to be left alone, cause you have no control if it happens. When there's no one to distract you from your own thoughts, it's like a ocean and just drowns you in them.
I regret kissing Tae
Why did I kiss him?
Is it because I might like him in that way?
No, I do like him that kind of way.
But I don't think the feeling is mutual.
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A/n: Do u know how much character development went down the drain when Jimin expressed himself and Tae just day dreamed through it
I feel triggered at what I'm doing to this story