Chapter's song: What Do I Know? by Ed Sheeran
What is the deal with the whole sleeping with each other?
I mean. Yes. Of course I want to sleep with her, but that's not all I want from Kate. Is that what she thinks this is?
I really want to bang my head over the ledge for saying that stupid thing about what happens in Broome, stays in Broome. That's where everything is coming from, right? Bloody hell.
The guide stops the yacht and tells us that we can take a small boat to cross the waterfalls. It's like going through a wild river, the sea is crashing against the rocks and you can see how the water falls for like a couple of steps, before crashing down on against the currents.
"Are you okay with that? I ask Kate, careful not to fucking scare her even more.
She laughs. "Yes. Are you afraid Mark?"
My lips tug up but I don't really feel like smiling. I'm more worried about her little outburst from a moment ago, though. I let her standing by the ledge as I walk to the guide. I ask him to take us with the boat, but I want to have lunch over the island instead of the yacht. When we settle everything, I go back to Kate.
She gazes at me as I approach, the sea breeze is twirling her hair, but she looks beautiful with that blush on her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she mumbles embarrassed as I lean on the ledge, crossing my arms.
"It's okay. My ego and I forgive you."
She cracks up at that before passing a hand across her face. "Thank you," she says it in a low tone and I know she's embarrassed as hell.
I'm about to ask her why does she feels like she has to be in defensive mode with me when the guide calls for us. We're walking to the lower deck and Kate steps inside the boat when I it dawns on me. She's defensive because she thinks she knows me. Just like everyone else.
All my life I've played girls, and she knows it. What she doesn't know is that she's not any girl. She's different. Unique. Too darn stubborn and too confusing for her own good, but I can't help but feel drawn to her. Worse. I want to be with her, and not just for one night. And I know she got something right, we can't sleep together. It's too soon, we're not home and I want her to see me as her boyfriend, not her summer fling.
For fuck's sake. I'm turning into Scott.
We put on our lifesaver jackets and we're good to go. I'm not sure if I should grab her hand now or not, but at the last moment, right before we plunge into the wild waters, I do.
I'm screaming when Mark grabs my hand. We're jumping up and down and I'm really glad he's there. He makes me feel safe, and for just a second—as much as it takes the boat to stop jumping—I forget about what just happened in the yacht. That doesn't last long, because as soon as my heart beats are slowing down, I remember. I remember my stupid outburst and how I just embarrassed myself.
What the hell was I thinking? How could I ask him if he wanted to sleep with me?
I wouldn't mind falling off the boat and drifting off anywhere else in the world as long as it's away from Mark. My pulse starts to accelerate once more, just as my cheeks keep feeling warm.
The boat keeps going forward until we reach the shore. The guide steps down and takes an ice cooler and a basket with different stuff with him. He lets them on the shore just as Mark gives me a hand to step out of the boat. The water is so clear that I can see little fish swimming around, and for a moment, I'd like to be one of them to be able to escape.
Mark thanks the guide and the man tips his hat before going back to the boat. I peek inside the basket and there's a tablecloth and a few things to have picnic. Smiling, I grab the basket and walk towards the shade. There are a couple of trees that overlook the beach that seem like the perfect place for this. I don't think I've ever been more into picnics as now. It seems to be our thing. The thought makes me pause. Our thing. That sounds... too good to be truth.
We set up everything in silence. I'm pretty sure that Kate is still nervous and I'm just trying not to say something that might screw things up even more, because that seems to be my specialty lately.
As we sit, I take out two bottles of water, a few sandwiches and a salad. I see the vegemite bottle on the bottom. Perfect. "Do you feel like trying it?" I show it to Kate who looks amused after she reads the tag.
"That looks dangerous."
Chuckling, I take the lid off. It smells... odd. "Dangerous it is."
I pass it to her and she smells it too. "I'll pass this time."
I laugh at that and close the lid. "Yeah. This seems worse than swimming out there."
"Do you think that people actually swim out there?" Kate gazes at the rock mountains, where the horizontal waterfall forms.
"I don't know," I shrug. "But sharks scare the crap out of me, so I wouldn't venture out there."
She laughs and my shoulders sag. Finally. I can see that she feels better already because her smile isn't forced anymore. She takes out the plates and serves us sandwiches with salad on the side. I pour us some wine and we both enjoy our food in not so comfortable silence.
Until I finish my food and turn to her. "Kate, do you remember I have one question left from that one time back in the UK?"
She dabs her lips with her napkin. "Yeah?" She doesn't sound too sure, but damn it. I need to ask something or this silence will be the death of me.
"What happened with what's his name? Your ex? Sully or something?"
A soft smile plays on her face as she leaves the plate on the floor. "Things didn't work out."
No shit. "I thought I heard that you two were living together?"
She shifts in her seat and I'm about to change the subject when she looks straight at me. "He fell in love with someone else. Someone from his work. So, he left me when he wanted to cheat on me." She takes half of her wine in a go. "I have to admit it, Scott might be a dick, but he's not a bad person."
She doesn't say it, but it's all written on her face: I wasn't good enough for him.
And suddenly I want to smash that idiot's head. I mean, I should be glad he left her, but I'm mad because her blue eyes are sad and she's quietly gazing at the ocean and I know it still hurts.
"I wouldn't do that," I blurt out. Her face cuts to me as I clear my head. "There's no one else like you, Kate. I mean, it's hard to find someone so strong-minded and closed up—" she throws her napkin at my face but I catch it before it actually makes contact. Chuckling, I reach out and grab her hand. "Seriously, I'm glad he left, because you wouldn't be here. So, here's to that," I say, before raising my glass and taking a sip.
She stares at our hands for a moment, and I absentmindedly pass my thumb over her knuckles. "I'm glad he left, too," she murmurs a moment later, and I swear my chest warms at her words.
I finally understand why she's so reluctant to date, why she's always putting up that wall, why she wants to look so strong and independent, because that mother-fucker left her for other girl, and while I want to thank him for it, I also want to punch him in the gut because he hurt her too. And also, because he made it twice as harder to get to Kate.
Yet, no matter how much time and effort it takes, I know Kate is worth it.
Hey guys! so...I don't know what's going on but I'm feeling super down lately. I'm hoping it passes soon, but I just want to thank you for being here for me. It means a lot, and I love you very much.