Lilia woke slowly. She wasn't even sure why she had woken until she saw Connor's dark eyes, blinking mere inches from hers. Inhaling sharply, she scrambled into a sitting position, not even having realized she had fallen back asleep after her nightmare.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you," Connor said as he drew back.
"It's fine." Lilia ran a hand through her tangled hair. Her fingers got stuck and she started untangling the offending knot. "What is it?"
"You slept through the night. It's early morning. We should probably get moving now."
"Really?" Lilia rubbed her forehead. It felt like mere minutes ago, she had been falling asleep on the uncomfortable bed.
"Really." As she stood, Connor handed her a sandwich consisting of stale bread and a bit of cheese. She bit into it hungrily, not caring about the low quality of the food. With a shock, she realized that the harrowing events of the day before had kept her from eating dinner. How long had it been since I last skipped a meal? I can't even remember...
"Thank you," she said around a mouthful of sandwich, and soon finished the sandwich.
Connor laughed disbelievingly, watching her. "You'd think that you were starving."
Lilia shook her head. "Just really hungry! Forgot to get dinner last night," she said cheerily, feeling much better with nourishment in her stomach. "I'm ready to hit the road."
Connor chuckled again, shrugging, and crossed the room to his bed, tossing her duffel bag to her. "I've packed for you. If you want to change, I can give you your privacy."
"That would be nice, thanks," Lilia said, and Connor left the room. She hoped he was standing guard at the door - she still felt uneasy about being alone after yesterday's terrifying events.
She quickly changed into a blue button-up shirt and brown capris. At least Theresa had some sort of medieval fashion sense, she thought gratefully, transferring the small figurine of the girl from her pocket to her duffel bag. Fastening her belt around her waist, she adjusted the position of the dagger until it hung at her side rather than in front of or behind her leg.
She rapped lightly on the door. "You can come in now," she called.
Connor did so. As Lilia had hoped, he had remained in front of the door.
As she folded her former outfit and arranged the items in her duffel bag to be neater than the sloppy packing job that Connor had done, she called over her shoulder, "Where will we be passing through today?"
"I'm going to try to keep our walk relatively easy," Connor told her. "I know you're not accustomed to so much walking."
"No, not really," Lilia agreed, fiddling with the stubborn, creased corner of a pant leg.
"We might have to walk through a bit of forest, but if nothing else, it'll be a pretty hike, at least."
"That sounds nice." Lilia, finally satisfied with the contents of the bag, turned to find Connor in the midst of changing. His bare, muscular back was to her as he bent over his duffel bag in search of a shirt. She whirled back around, blushing and staring resolutely at her duffel bag.
"What?" Connor asked innocently. Then, he laughed. "Not used to that either, are you?"
"My parents would have killed me if I was ever alone with a boy who was taking off his shirt," Lilia said, imagining the looks on their faces if they could see her now. Then she blushed even deeper, realizing how she sounded.
Connor just continued to laugh. "It's safe to look now," he said teasingly. Lilia took a deep breath, prayed that her blush was fading, and grabbed her duffel bag, turning around to face a now fully clothed Connor.
"Ready to get going?" he asked, a grin still present on his face.
Lilia nodded, not trusting herself to speak. As Connor led the way out of the inn room, she stared at the sticky wooden floor, trying and failing to remember any place in Star of Winter where it had mentioned Connor changing in front of Theresa.
*
When the bartender saw Connor and Lilia descending the stairs, he hurried over and placed a hand on Lilia's shoulder, looking at her with large, worried eyes.
"Are you okay, girl? He didn't hurt you, did he?"
Lilia knew who and what he was referring to instantly, but was still startled into silence at this stranger's unexpected kindness. It was a good thing, too, because she had completely forgotten she was supposed to be mute until Connor spoke for her: "She's fine. Thank you so much for...taking care of him."
The bartender nodded grimly. "That we did. We're even now, son."
Once they were outside, Lilia leaned forward and whispered in Connor's ear, "Did they kill him?"
"What answer do you want to hear?" Connor asked carefully. The words and their phrasing alone answered her question.
Lilia wished she could act noble and be angry at the man's death, even after what he had tried to do to her, but she simply couldn't summon any pity for him. In fact, a dark voice inside her head cheered at his premature demise. The kinder part of her justified this by pointing out, At least he can't hurt any other girls.
Realizing that Connor was still waiting for an answer, she replied decisively, "Actually, I don't care what happened to him. Dead or not, he's nothing to me."
"Well said," Connor said, glancing over his shoulder at her.
Lilia smiled, pleased at his approval. She adjusted the strap of her duffel bag and found that there was a slight spring to her step as she and Connor walked through the town, soon exiting its other side.
At the top of the hill opposite the one they had arrived on, Connor stopped and turned to look down at the little town in the basin. He stared at it, as if trying to memorize every detail.
"Connor?" Lilia asked uncertainly.
"I'm not sure if I'll ever see this place again," Connor said in the sort of offhanded way that made Lilia think he cared a lot more than he was letting on. "Could be destroyed by the time I come back here."
"Are you coming back here?" Lilia asked, surprised. Surely the rebellion wouldn't operate in this war-torn area once it was destroyed by Prince Luca's men, and as Connor had said himself, they usually traveled by the woods anyway. He could easily return to his house via the forest or one of Azca's portals.
"Good point," Connor said after a moment. With a final surveying glance over the village, he turned back to the road and began walking once more. Lilia followed him, wondering if that had been the right thing to say. In any case, it was too late to take it back now and at least Connor was moving forward.
They walked a short ways in silence before Connor said, "I should probably contact the rebellion. Try to tell them what happened."
Lilia thought of the cunning and well-connected leaders of the rebellion. "I'm sure they already know."
"True, but they can't know where or where I'm going."
"Azca wouldn't have contacted them?"
"He has to 'help' the king. He's got his hands full. Besides, it would be dangerous for a man of his stature to contact them. If he's seen, he's dead. Or more likely tortured for information."
Lilia's eyes widened in horror at the thought. "So are you going to contact them?"
"Most likely. It won't take long, but you won't be allowed to come with me." Connor shot her a sideways glance, as if trying to gage her reaction.
"Okay," Lilia said slowly. "Where would you contact them, and where would I go?"
Connor thought for a moment. "There are sure to be rebels stationed in the next town. They're practically everywhere. I can contact one of them while you stay in an inn room. Doors and windows locked, maybe reading or something. I'm sure you can handle that."
"Sure I can." Lilia felt calmer. The thought of some quiet reading in a completely safe inn room was actually quite reassuring. "Do you have a book?"
"No. We can buy you one."
Lilia was touched. "Thank you."
"It's nothing. You like to read, obviously," Connor pointed out dryly, smiling. Lilia returned the smile, glad that Connor seemed to now be taking this matter of her otherworldly knowledge of his life with a more open attitude.
Lilia couldn't believe it had been nearly a full day since she had been transported from her bedroom and into her favorite novel. It seemed like so much longer and yet no time at all - it was a strange feeling.
She was certainly ready to go home.
Lilia wondered what her family thought. Or if any time had even passed in her world at all. Wasn't it common, in fantasy stories, that the human would return to her world after weeks, months, even years to find that no time had passed at all?
In fantasy stories. I am living a fantasy story. Lilia couldn't hide the mad grin that spread across her face at the thought. It was insane. The heroines she had been reading about since she was a young girl, the humans transported into magical worlds to fulfill ancient prophecies and the expectations of many - she was standing in their shoes.
And yet, she wasn't part of a prophecy. She wasn't going to save this world, or even help it. She was completely focused on herself, on getting home. Her smile dimmed.
"Woah, woah, woah," Connor said. Lilia glanced over at him. He was watching her with a furrowed brow. "You were just smiling like a drunkard. What happened?"
Lilia waved him off. "It's nothing. It's stupid."
"I bet I won't think that."
She looked at him again. He was still watching her with wide-eyed innocence. Her chest felt warm.
"I was just thinking...I read a lot of books about...this kind of thing. Girl gets transported into a magical world, saves it from evil or otherwise somehow helps the people there...but I'm not doing anything. Maybe the one chance I get at actually being in a magical world - and I'm just going home!"
"You can't save this world, Lilia," Connor told her gently. "Those books are fiction. This is obviously real. I mean - " here he reached out and poked her " - that felt real, right?"
Lilia smiled. "Yeah."
"So this is real life. It's messy, it's scary, and it sure as hell can't be saved by one person. Stop thinking in a heroine mindset and start thinking in a normal person mindset. Your priority is to get home to your family. My priority is to take you there. Saving the world should be second at least, for both of us."
Lilia stared at Connor for a long moment. Finally, she said softly, "Thank you. That was really helpful."
Connor shrugged. "I try." He grinned, breaking the solemn moment, and picked up his pace. "So are you ready to go home?"
Lilia almost said yes. Her lips pulled back as her mouth formed the "y." But she couldn't do it.
"I know that my priority is getting home," she said instead, "and I know that this world isn't fun by any means. It's bloody, it's messy, and it's frightening. I've experienced enough of it to know that. But, you know, this could be my only chance to be here - and it is my favorite book. Could we...?"
Connor stared at the ground for a long moment. "You want to poke around this world a bit, don't you?" he asked.
"Yes," Lilia replied softly, hopefully.
Connor sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I - I don't know, Lilia. It seems like a bad idea. I mean, what happened back at the inn - "
"I was taken by surprise and I still managed to kick that guy's ass," Lilia pointed out angrily. "You can't use that isolated incident to decide whether I'm strong enough or not!"
Connor took another deep breath and released it noisily. "It's not that I actively don't want you to experience this world...it's just, I know you won't like what you see. You should leave now, before it gets any worse in your mind."
"I've tripped over at least five corpses and watched you bury another one. Oh, and then I almost got molested by a creepy man at an inn!" Lilia retorted, clenching her fists. "I'd like to see it get worse."
"I have, Lilia, and I don't want you to!" Connor snapped.
Lilia flinched and shrank back.
Connor ran a hand over his face, still not looking at her. "You think that stuff is bad," he said quietly, so quietly that Lilia couldn't even hear him. "Try seeing children ripped from their families, murdered in front of each other because their parents voiced support for the wrong royal family. Try seeing women refusing to leave their husbands, up until the moment when a sword is driven through both of them. Try watching mass executions with line after line of innocent people watching the equally innocent people in front of them getting hanged. Try watching babies choke on smoke because some merciless enemy of their father set their house on fire. You don't know what it's like to watch your friends get dragged away to get tortured." Connor's words were getting faster and harsher, making Lilia cringe with every mental image.
She swallowed, feeling physically ill. "I - Connor - "
Suddenly, in the distance behind them, hoofbeats could be heard. Connor held up a hand to make her stop talking and listened closely. "Shit," he swore before grabbing Lilia's wrist and dragging her into the woods off of the road. He pressed her against a tree, concealing her with his body as he peered around the trunk. He pulled his head back into concealment with a sharp intake of breath and rested his forehead on the tree above Lilia - he was so tall that his chin barely brushed her hair. Lilia's hand curled around the hilt of her dagger.
There they stood, breathing as quietly as possible, hearts pounding wildly, as the hoofbeats of an army passed them.