Chapter 15
Sophie
Why do people fall apart?
It's because of pain. Sometimes the person you love the most can be the reason why you're hurting. Some would fight it off just to save what they have and some would just break.
In my case with Daryl, I gave up and broke up with him. I did not put up a fight because I know it's not worth it. Why would I fight for someone who did not fight for me in the first place? I'm not that foolish enough yet.
Yes, I did love Daryl. But maybe he's not just worth the tears and pain. Sure I did cry for him but it's a natural feeling for someone who broke up with a guy you loved for almost two years. Siguro ay hindi pa nga siya 'yong taong masasabing kong ikamamatay ko kung mawawala sa buhay ko. Cliché it may seem but heck I'm serious.
Nilingon ko si Maisie na nasa tabi ko. Tahimik siyang nakatingin sa labas habang nagda-drive ako papuntang subdivision nila ni Kyle. Malaki ang problema ng kaibigan ko and of course as her bestie, dinamayan ko siya.
Tangina kasi 'tong si Kyle! May kasamang ahas kagabi at hindi umuwi sa bahay nila ni Maisie. Pinakita sa'kin ni Maisie yung picture ni Kyle kasama ang isang babae. Kaya tuloy namumugto ang mga mata ng kaibigan ko dahil sa pang gagago niya. Pag nakita ko yung lalaking 'yon mapapatay ko talaga siya! Huwag na huwag lang talaga siyang gagaya kay Daryl. Hindi ko pa nakita si Maisie ng ganito magmahal kaya kung maaari ay gusto kong maayos nilang mag-asawa ang gulo na 'to.
"Anong gagawin mo pag umuwi na si Kyle ngayon?" tanong ko kay Maisie. She turned her gaze at me and drew a deep breath.
"Kakausapin ko siya. He needs to explain everything to me. Ayokong tuluyan masira ang tiwala ko sa kanya."
Napabuntong hininga na lang din ako. It's going to be a long night for the both of them. Kung ako ang nasa posisyon niya ay susugurin ko si Kyle at yung babae niya. Pero alam ko na hindi yun magagawa ni Maisie. She's not the aggressive type of woman. I know I'm not in the position to meddle with their issues so I chose to shut up and continued driving.
"Tumawag ka ha pag hindi mo na kaya. I'm always here bes." Niyakap ko siya nang huminto kami sa labas ng bahay nila. She just faintly smiled at me and told me that she can handle it. I really hope she can get it through this night.
Lumabas na ako ng subdivision nila at bumyahe na pauwi. Nang tumigil ang sasakyan ko dahil nag red light, I took the opportunity to get my phone inside my bag.
I've been thinking the whole day if I should accept Derrick's offer. Simula noong gabing may nagtangkang gahasain ako, hindi na ako msyadong nagpapagabi ng uwi. Natatakot ako na baka maulit na naman iyon. Maybe it's not bad to accept his help since he willingly offered it. Kailangan ko na talagang matapos ang thesis ko sa madaling panahon.
I dialed his phone number and waited for the ring. Sa pangalawang ring palang ay sumagot na siya.
"Hello." His rough voice echoed in a business manner.
"Uhm hi! Si Sophie 'to."
"Oh yes, Sophie. Is there something wrong?" Biglang nagbago ang tono ng pananalita niya. Concern is very evident in his voice.
"Wala naman. Actually I called because I want to ask something. Uh, is your offer still available? Yung para sa thesis ko?" nahihiya kong tanong sa kanya.
Biglang sumerbato ang kotse na nasa likod ko kaya nabitawan ko ang cellphone. Shit. Green light na pala. Agad kong hinagilap ang cellphone na nahulog sa paanan ko. When I found it, I turned the loud speaker on at inilagay ito sa phone holder sa harap ko. The car behind me honked again urging me to step on the gas.
"Bwisit. Di makapag hintay." I cursed under my breath. Mabilis kong pina andar ang sasakyan ko.
"Are you driving?" I startled when I heard Derrick's voice on the other line.
"Oo. Sorry nahulog kasi yung phone kaya hindi ko narinig ang sagot mo."
Rinig ko ang pagbuntong hininga niya na parang sumasakit ang ulo niya sa nangyari. "Sophie, are you getting yourself into an accident?"
"No. I was-"
"You shouldn't call when you're driving. I'm coming over to your house. Doon na tayo mag-usap." And with that he ended the call.
Is he having a bad day? Ang seryoso niya naman. Of course I don't want to get into an accident. Muntikan na nga akong ma aksidente noon isang araw dahil sa mga manyak na lalaki. Doble ingat na ako sa mga galaw ko ngayon. He's too serious and it's stressing me at the same time.
Naabutan ko ang sasakyan niya na naka park sa labas ng bahay ko. Hininto ang sasakyan ko kasunod sa kanya at lumabas na. Nilingon niya ako nang marinig ang pagsara ng pinto. He's leaning on the hood of his car while keeping an eye on me. His hooded eyes surveyed me as I walked towards him. His blue long sleeve polo showed his broad shoulders that shouts his masculinity.
"Ang seryoso mo naman." Sabi ko at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad palapit sa gate. I unlocked it and went inside. I can feel him following me and I continued my way to door of the house to open it.
I turned on the lights and faced him. Seryoso pa rin siyang nakatitig sa akin na parang may atraso ako sa kanya.
"Uy ano ba. Huwag ka ngang ganyan. Kinakabahan ako sa mga tingin mong ganyan eh."
Nakapamulsa siyang lumapit sa akin. His jaw became firm. Umatras naman ako hanggang sa tumama ang likod ko sa cabinet na malapit sa pinto. Now he's towering over me and his presence made me uncomfortable with our set up.
"Why do you always get into trouble Sophie?"
Kumunot naman ang noo ko sa tanong niya. "Hindi naman ah."
"Anong hindi? From the moment that I met you, I can count how many times you've got yourself into trouble."
Inalala ko ang mga panahon na nakasama ko siya and I instantly felt guilty. I met him when I was drunk and crashed into his condo for a night. He pulled me out from a fight in club when I was in Davao. He became my temporary driver slash tour guide because I was lost in a city. He helped me from an accident while we we're going down on a hill. I almost got raped, and the recent one happened just some minutes ago.
I feel bad for being a trouble to his life if that's what he is trying to point out. Hindi ko naman gusto na maging pabigat sa kanya at tsaka hindi ko naman siya pinipilit na tulungan ako. Should I steer clear from him?
"Pasensya na. Kung nagiging pabigat na ako sayo, pwede mo naman akong layuan na. Hindi naman ako magagalit." Di ko mapigilang mapayuko dahil sa kahihiyan. He's thinking of me as a liability. A liability that shouldn't exist in his life. Does he feel trapped with me?
Yumuko rin siya upang magpantay ang aming mukha habang ang isang kamay niya ay nakatukod sa dingding sa gilid. Hinanap niya ang mata ko pero nanatili akong nakatingin sa aking paanan.
"You're not a burden to me if that's what you're thinking. Ang gusto ko lang naman ay ang mag-ingat ka sa lahat ng ginagawa mo. This is not just for you, Sophie." He drew a deep breath and cocked his head on the side. "I also need this."
Napa angat ako ng tingin dahil sa sinabi niya. "Why?" I whispered.
"You're constantly making me worried and I don't know what I'll do if something bad happens to you. I need peace of mind. And I won't have that if you won't look out for yourself like I always tell you."
Hindi ko mapigilan na hindi ngumiti. Ano bang pinagsasabi ng lalaking ito? Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko para pigilan ang sariling kong ngumiti.
"Tell me Derrick. Are you starting to care for me?"
"I guess so. I won't be here if I'm not." He said like it's a normal thing for him.
My tummy felt the rumbling of tiny butterflies. Para silang nagwawala sa loob kaya nahihirapan ang akong huminga ng normal. Why do I feel I'm blushing? Am I blushing?
Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili at bumingay na ako. I shyly smiled at him. "You're thinking of me." I stated a matter of fact.
"Yes, I am." Umangat ang gilid ng labi niya.
Puta. He's flirting with me obviously but acts innocently like he's not aware what he do to me. Mahina ko siyang tinulak sa dibdib para maka alis na sa kintatayuan ko.
I need fuckin' air! I need to calm the zoo inside my stomach.
"Uhm, yung tungkol sa tanong ko kanina sa tawag. Can I still take your offer?" Tanong ko na lang para maiba ang usapan. Pumunta ako sa kusina at kumuha ng baso para maka inom ng tubig. Hindi ko yata kakayanin na magtagal sa ganoong usapan. Mahihimatay ako ng wala sa oras.
Nakasunod pala siya sa'kin. He lazily leaned on the wall behind him. "Yeah, I was just waiting for your signal. So you're up for it?"
"Yes. Malapit na ang defense ko and I really need to double time. Actually this is cramming and I'm not sure if I can make it to the deadline. Di bale, after this one I'm going to have my internship on your company para naman makabawi ako. That's want you want right?"
He nodded. Sumilay ang isang ngiti sa labi niya.
Ganoon nga ang ginawa niya, he set up a meeting with his colleagues na mabilis naman um-oo sa gustong oras at araw ni Derrick.
We went to a clothing shop in a mall and met with his friend na may-ari nito. Na una lang ako dito sa mall dahil may tinapos pa si Derrick sa office niya at kasalukuyang bumabyahe na siya ngayon papunta rito.
Pumunta muna ako sa Starbucks at bumili ng kape para sa aming dalawa. It's just a simple bribe for giving too much effort in escorting me on this meeting. I texted him where I am at wala pang thirty minutes ay dumating na siya.
He looks so good with his office suite. The way he walks towards me is an eyesore. His movements are so fluid that almost all the girls who pass by him would really break their necks. Hapon na at fresh na fresh pa rin siya habang ako, eto medyo amoy araw na ang buhok. Naka simpleng off shoulder blouse and jeans lang ako. For sure magmumukha akong assistant niya pag matatabi kami.
I pushed the coffee in front of him when he was already inches away from me. "Your coffee, Mr. Castillo. I don't know if you like this flavor pero bumili na ako."
Inamoy niya muna ang aroma na lumalabas mula sa maliit na butas ng takip at sumimsim mula roon. I got his approval when he slowly nodded after tasting it. Luminga linga ako at napansin ko ang malalagkit na titig ng mga babae dito sa loob ng Starbucks. Some of them are giggling like an idiot while staring at Derrick. Oh my gosh! They are shamelessly gawking. Not on me pero sa lalaking kasama ko.
"Thanks. So, should we get going?" Alok niya. Buti naman para matigil na ang paninitig ng mga babae sa kanya.
"Oo. Tara na baka musundot ko ang mga mata nila." Maktol ko habang kinukuha ang shoulder bag at laptop ko. Kumunot naman ang noo niya dahil sa asal ko.
"You're saying something?"
Umirap ako at nauna ng naglakad palabas ng coffee shop habang siya naman ay nakasunod sa akin. "Wala po. Sabi ko ang gwapo mo. Kainis!" I don't know why I'm suddenly pissed with how girls look at him. Respeto naman sana, ano po? Di ba nila nakikitang may kasama ang lalaking tinititigan nila?
Hinawakan niya naman ako sa balikat nang di niya natiis ang di ko pagsabay sa kanya sa paglalakad. "Uy, may problema ba?" Tanong niya.
Magsasalita na sana ako nang tumunog ang isang commercial ad soundtrack ng Nido na may lyrics na 'check the label'. Putragis! Malapit lang pala kami sa supermarket tumigil kaya dinig na dinig ko ang kanta na paulit-ulit pinapatugtog sa speaker. Bwisit ha!
Oo na, wala sa lugar ang pag iinarte ko. Na check ko na ang label namin! Hindi ako girlfriend para umastang ganito. Eh sa naiinis ako. Anong magagawa ko? This is unreasonable for me to act this way. I'm aware of it, but a part of me doesn't want to suppress this weird feeling and not mind it.
Kinalma ko ang sarili ko at tumingin sa kanya. "Wala 'to. Dala lang siguro ng stress dahil sa mga deadlines ko sa school."
He didn't look convinced but he did not ask further which is okay baka kasi mas uminit ulo ko. Kinuha niya na lang ang laptop na dala ko at nagprisintang siya na ang magdadala para sa'kin. He led the way to the shop and gracefully entered inside like he owns the place while I followed him behind.
A lady in fitted white tube dress welcomed him. She's wearing big smile on her face and her cleavage showed like she's offering it to him. The lady opened her arms and hugged Derrick. He reciprocated and hugged her. What is this?
Nagkamustahan ang dalawa at aba si ate girl, may papalo palo pa sa braso ni Derrick na nalalaman habang tumatawa. May nakakatawa ba sa pinag uusapan nila? I rolled my eyes in annoyance.
Nilingon ako ni Derrick at taka akong tinignan. Hindi ko namalayan na naka kunot na pala ang noo ko. Umayos ako sa pagkakatayo at tumingin na lang sa mga damit na nakapalibot.
"By the way, this is Sophie Lim. She's the author of the study that I mentioned on my email." Pakilala ni Derrick sa'kin sa babaeng katabi niya.
"Oh, hi! Nice to meet you." Ngumiti sa'kin ang babae at inabot ang kamay sa akin. Kinuha ko na lang iyon out of respect. I shook her hand and smiled at her. "Sophie, this is Jillian Aragon. She's the first one to franchise this shop's brand here in the Philippines." He sounded like a proud father.
Tipid na lang akong ngumiti pagkatapos siyang ipakilala sa'kin ni Derrick. Pinag usapan namin kung ano ang gagawin namin sa hapong ito. Like what I have practiced, after the costumers pay at the cashier, dun ako papasok at magpapasagot ng questionnaire.
So I was left near the cashier to cater the costumers. While Derrick and Jillian went inside a room which I think is Jillian's office. The room is not that isolated. Sa pinto kasi ay may transparent glass kaya makikita mo kung anong nangyayari sa loob.
Jillian is comfortably sitting on her desk while Derrick is seated in front. Jillian opened a bottled wine and poured it into their burgundy glass. They we're talking like they were sharing a secret and its making my eyes itch.
Gaano ba sila ka close? Maybe they have a history?
Looking at Jillian, I know a lot of guys will get attracted to her. Her big long curls make her look rich and sophisticated. Her skin is as white as porcelain. The way she dress, they way she giggles, and not to mention, she has big boobs that can make men wet their pants. Derrick is not an exemption.
Napapaisip tuloy ako kung ano ang gusto ni Derrick sa isang babae. Katulad ba kay Jillian?
Napakagat ako sa labi ko at ibinalik na lang ang tingin sa laptop. Hindi ko namalayan na malakas na pala ang pagtatype ko sa keyboard kung hindi ko lang napansin na tinitignan na pala ako ng dalawang cashier.
I awkwardly smiled at them and focused back on my questionnaires. I'm here for my thesis. I'm not here to stick my nose to other people's lives. Ika nga, 'check the label'.
Give your chest a rest, Sophie and you'll do fine.
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I miss Maisie and Kyle! Huhuhu. First baby ko ang story nila eh. Fyi, may mga special appearances po talaga sila dito sa story ni Sophie so abangan niyo na lang. 😜
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