Chapter 3 – Blake
The annoying sound of birds chirping outside woke Miriam from her slumber—her head was pounding. Opening her eyes, she looked from side to side. Where was she? Pain shot up through her body, when she moved, and all the memories of last night came flooding back.
This was the downstairs bedroom; she recognized the drapes over the bed. Groaning in pain, she tried to sit upright.
“Miss, you’re awake! Can I help you to anything? Does it hurt? Oh god, I’ll get Miss Hertz right away!” a voice squealed frantically.
Miriam looked to her right and saw one of the maids jump out of her seat, babbling on so fast that Miriam almost couldn’t follow.
“No, no Christina, I’m fine!” she croaked as a nasty coughing fit took over her body.
“Oh Miss, I’ll get the Doctor!” Christina said and hurried out of the door. Miriam’s insides felt as if her lungs were about to burst, pressing against her ribs.
Dr. Johansson arrived shortly after with her mother in tow. Looking up at both of them through teary eyes, she recognized the concern in both set of eyes. She reached out her hands, and they helped her up in an upright position. Miriam groaned as pain seared through her body, but sitting up helped to clear her airways and a few seconds later the coughing stopped.
As the doctor checked her bandages, she watched with the same curiosity as she always did the day after an attack. The pain was still there, along with the memory of every blow. However, when she looked down, the many injuries seemed to have doubled in numbers.
Looking up she caught sight of her mother’s pained expression. Worry was evident in her eyes, and as their eyes met, Miriam felt it tug on her heart.
“I’m so sorry Ma’,” she said, tears welling up in her eyes. Her mother hurried to her side and held her close.
“There, there, baby. It is not your fault. We’ll get through this,” the voice was soothing, and Miriam cuddled into her mother’s arms, slowly relaxing by the gentle strokes to her hair.
She sniffled and looked up to discover Dr. Johansson watching them. His eyebrows furrowed as he scanned briefly over her body. His features softened as he noticed her looking at him. Both horror and hope surfaced in her mind when she realized he might have reached a conclusion.
“Veronica, is it possible that I can have a word with you?” he asked softly. Veronica released the hold and with a silent nod, she stood up and walked out of the room with Steven.
They didn’t close the doors, so Miriam watched as he took her mother’s hands in his. Tears travelled down Veronica’s cheek as Dr. Johansson whispered something. Her mother nodded, and gave him a kiss on the cheek after hearing what he had to say. Miriam couldn’t hear anything.
Veronica stepped back into the room, drying her eyes.
“Dr. Johansson is going to see if he can find anything useful,” she said, sadness filling her voice as she combed her fingers through Miriam’s hair. Miriam nodded and leaned into her mother’s side.
“Christina, can you please make sure there is some food delivered here?” Veronica asked after a few minutes. Christina curtseyed and left them alone. Miriam could feel the surveying look, as tiny pinpricks on her arms and neck.
“I love you Miriam. You know that right?” Veronica said.
Miriam nodded once more and hugged her mother close despite the pains in her ribs. From experiences, she knew that she would recover. And even though this time had been much worse than the last, she could already now feel her body slowly healing.
Christina arrived shortly after with breakfast on a tray. Miriam thanked the maid and let her go. The fresh fruit and yogurt was delicious, and despite the fact that her face hurt whenever she chewed, she devoured as much as she could muster.
Miriam decided to check out the shape of her body. She had gathered from her mother’s expression earlier that it was bad this time. She walked slowly to the hallway, intent on checking herself in the big mirror. A gasp escaped as she saw the blue bruises, and the wide cuts. No wonder she felt awful.
Brushing her hair with her fingers, she tried to organize the bird nest on top of her head. Her right cheek had swollen to the double size, and a large shadow circled her right eye. Her face was paler than usual, and with her bloodshot eyes, she resembled a ghost in ways she’d never thought she would.
A noise startled her. Snapping around to see where it came from, she noticed Gustavo, who was dusting the paintings in the hallway off.
“Gustavo, can you please tell my mother that I don’t wish to see anyone today? I am going to lie down a bit, and when I wake up I will be in the library,” she asked as soon as her heartbeat returned to normal. He gave her a small nod to signify that he understood and bowed before walking away.
Miriam stood there, consumed in her own line of thoughts. Dr. Johansson had left so abruptly. Was he coming back? Wishing the best for her mother, she took one last glance in the mirror before slowly making her way up to her room. The stairs were agonizing, and she had to stop to catch her breath repeatedly. This was without any doubt the most painful of all attacks, and she had a lot to compare with.
The first times had involved bruising and scrapes which seemed to come unexpectedly. At first, her mother scolded her because she couldn’t explain them. It hadn’t been until Veronica Hertz had seen it with her own eyes that she decided to take Miriam out of the public school—confined within the Hertz grounds so she always could get immediate help. These attacks were the reason she felt lonely. It was because of the uncertainty of the attacks that it wouldn’t be sensible of them to let her roam in public.
In all honesty, Miriam couldn’t complain. She had a warm bed and even though she lacked social relations, she had everything a girl needed. Her mother used a small fortune on books to Miriam’s library. And she was stern when it came to school and learning. In fact, everyone tried to ignore the attacks as often as they possible could.
When Miriam reached her room, she went straight to the bathroom. She needed a bath before anything. Attacking her hair with a brush, she looked over her appearances once more. She had grown used to the random bruises, but the pain was something that left her speechless every time. Tying her hair up and unbinding the bandages, she waited for the bathtub to fill with water. She frowned as she looked at the porcelain. The lion’s paws that held the tub, along with the tap, shaped like the head of a lion seemed so untactful to her. Lions were sacred in Astron. Moreover, even though this was meant as an act of respect for the animal—she still found the idea nauseating.
The delicate fragrance of the bathing salts filled her nostrils, and it didn’t take long for her to jump inside. She managed to relax despite the pain that was evident every time she moved slightly. Leaning back she carefully scrubbed her body, wincing every time her fingers touched a bruised spot. Exhaustion crept over her, and she decided to close her eyes for just a bit.
Miriam must have dozed off because when she woke again, the water had turned cold. Sighing, she forced her stiff cold frame up and dried her body. Her fingertips looked like raisins at this point. Before closing the bathrobe, she looked at her torso. The big welt across her ribs was the worst of it.
Solem, if I can survive that, I can survive anything.
A light tapping on the door shook her out of her thoughts, and she opened the door to reveal Christina who had arrived with some lunch. Together they struggled to get the bandages in place. Once they were done, Miriam could finally breathe normally again. Christina left her to eat in silence, but Miriam just stabbed the bean salad around with her fork.
Her room contained some of her most treasured possessions. Pushing her lunch away, she painfully squatted down beside the bed. Taking the butter knife, she lifted up the bed sheets and made another mark on the leg of her bed. There was seventeen now. She had marked every attack since she was six years old.
Miriam let the sheets cover the bedpost again. She tried standing up by herself but found that she couldn’t without taking a mouthful of air and holding it in. Once the pain had subsided again, the thought of the library soothed her mind. Deciding to get dressed, she took the first clean dress she could find and soon after made her way to her personal sanctuary.
Her mother often tried to prepare her for the modern world. She bought books and magazines for her. And along with the oversized television she had installed in most of the rooms, Miriam didn’t lack anything.
Part of Miriam knew that it was a feeble attempt to make her more interested in the life outside rather than the one in the books. The problem was that the people on the magazines and in the television, wasn’t normal people. They did not have a burden weighing upon them as she did. Only in the books, she found a way of coping by using the belief that there is something else destined for her.
Her mother rarely went here. This was one of the few places that she could be entirely alone most of the time. Only Leonora, Gustavo’s wife came in here when they had lessons. That worked perfectly for Miriam since most of the time she didn’t want to leave this room anyway.
She walked over to the seating arrangement that her mother had made for her. Leaning back in soft cushions, she took her current book and allowed herself to drift into the literary world.
Someone cleared a throat, the sound startling Miriam. Wincing in pain from the frantic beating of her heart, she clutched her chest and looked around to find the source. Her eyes fell upon a man that was shadowed by the large bookcase in the history section.
“Sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here,” he said.
Miriam was speechless, staring with wide eyes she took in his features. He looked like he had just stepped out of one of her romance books. He appeared older than her age, though not by much. Dark hair fell down over his forehead, covering his eyes, and Miriam blushed at the desire to brush the strands away from his face.
Awkward silence fell between them. Miriam dared to look at him again, and once again, her heart skipped a beat. She hadn’t seen anyone as cute as him before—granted, she hadn’t seen many males in her life at all. However, out of the few, this guy was indeed ranking in the top.
“It’s just me,” she finally managed to whisper. In her mind, she could have slapped herself for that. If she didn’t know him, he probably didn’t have a clue about her identity either. Scolding herself for the foolish remark, her thoughts diverted as he smiled.
“I can see that,” he said.
Dark eyes fell upon hers, and she swallowed, trying to think of something to say. A slight dimple showed at his right cheek. Miriam was well aware that she was staring, but she couldn’t help herself.
“I am Blake,” he said and extended his hand. “My uncle said he needed to stay here for a bit, and I had to go with him.”
“I’m Miriam. What do you mean… your uncle?” she asked while taking his hand and shaking it gently.
“Yeah, apparently he has to treat someone here,” he said.
“Oh, you’re referring to Dr. Johansson?” Miriam didn’t want Blake to know that the only patient here was herself, not yet at least.
“Yes, Steven Johansson,” he said with a wider smile. Miriam was sure that if his grin grew wider he would have to twist his jaw. With their hands still joined, they stood there looking at each other. Miriam looked at their entwined hands and gazed back up at him through her eyelashes. A dreamy sigh escaped her as her mind started running off in a variation of romanticized directions.
She came to herself and released his hand. Blake gave out a slight cough and ran a hand through his hair. It gave him a more tousled appearance than he already had.
Miriam remembered something from her romance novels, about fighting the urge to extend a hand through the hair of their significant other.
That sensation makes so much more sense to me now.
“So what were you reading? Can you recommend anything?” he asked, shaking her out of her thoughts. She looked down at her book.
“Well, that depends on what your preferences are?” she looked around the library. “I mean...” She pointed behind them. “The books over there are the history section, though here—where we are sitting—are mostly fiction.”
Blake’s eyes followed her hand as she gestured across the room, and circled them in. Nodding slightly he went over to the bookcase with fiction. Miriam sat back with her book, trying to hide the fact that she was checking him out. He was tall and moved around with such a grace that Miriam couldn’t help but giggle. Stunned at her reaction to the guy, she buried her head in the book.
“I’m sorry, but may I ask what happened to you?” he spoke with his back still towards her. A blush crept to her cheeks. She had forgotten the bruises on her face. Picking at her nails, she tried franticly to come up with something to say. Feeling uncomfortable, she said the first lie she could think of.
“I ran into a door,” she mumbled while studying the edges of the book. Out of her peripheral vision, she saw Blake peek at her.
Please buy it… Please buy it, she prayed and thanked the heavens when he didn’t ask further into it. For some reason, she didn’t want him to know that she was the patient. Sympathy was something she had grown used to from the servants, but she didn’t want it from him.
Blake took a seat beside her. Even though she tried hard to ignore him and focus on her book, all the hairs on her arms rose as he glanced over at her. Her whole body felt stiff as a board as he leaned back and started flipping through the book. His legs were crossed, and suddenly Miriam was extremely embarrassed with the way her own legs spread and the book in her lap. Shuffling around she lifted her legs underneath her, and finally tried to concentrate on her romance.
They sat in utter silence for some time,
Miriam heard the door scrape against the floor as it opened, knowing that the servants always knocked on closed doors she knew that it only could be her mother.
“Ah I see that you have already met,” Veronica said.
They both turned their heads to greet her, and both gave a small nod as answer.
“Oh, well, then you know that Blake will be staying here along with Dr. Johansson,” her mother met Miriam’s eyes. Then her gaze shifted over to Blake.
“Blake, your room is ready for you to put your baggage in,” she said.
Blake gave both of them a small smile, and stood to leave. “Great, I will see you around I guess.” He offered his hand to Miriam.
Miriam took it and smiled, pleased to see a bigger smile forming on his lips in return.
“I guess so.”
As Blake went out, Miriam was once again alone in the library. She sat down and covered her head in her hands. Feeling how hot her cheeks were, she hoped that she wasn’t red like a tomato.
Miriam laughed to herself and groaned as a pain swept through her torso. Using the breathing exercises that she had learned from her last doctor, she tried to regain her composure.
Not long after that, she gave up on reading, and walked out to find something else to do. The spacious house had several time consuming things to offer, though none of it appealed to her now.
The sound of excited voices reached her ears, and as she turned the corner, she recognized the voices as the maids Beatrice and Angelina who were talking as they did their duties of cleaning the hallway.
“He is very fine, I tell you that!” Beatrice said. The voice drifted over, and Miriam wondered who they were talking about.
Miriam heard Angelina give out a sigh.
“I mean, those dark blue eyes, and the way that shirt fitted him, yum. I wonder if he likes brunettes,” Beatrice said.
Ah, so they were talking of Blake, Miriam thought. She wasn’t even surprised at this.
“Come on, Trish, you know that he probably wouldn’t go for the maids if anything he’ll probably already taken an interest in Miss Miriam. I overheard Miss Hertz tell Dr. Johansson, about how she found Miss Miriam and Mr. Blake in the library together,” Angelina said with a finality in her voice as if to convince her friend not to pursue her silly fantasy.
At that, Miriam chose to turn around the corner and strode towards them. She didn’t want to hear anymore. She admitted that she found Blake attractive, though she didn’t particularly want to hear other people gush about him as well.
“Hi Angie, Hi Trish,” she greeted, and stepped closer to the area they were currently cleaning in front of.
“Hi, Miss Miriam,” they said in unison and curtsied with a polite smile. Miriam furrowed her brows.
“How many times have I told you to drop the formalities?” she asked, looking from one brunette to the other.
“I am sorry, Miss. However, Mr. Gustavo insists that we remember our place, and call you Miss,” Angelina said in a tiny voice, and she gave yet another curtsey.
“I think of you two as my dearest friends, I’ve grown up around you, and can you please drop them? I beg of you,” she pleaded.
“It is not our place to do so, Miss, I am very sorry,” Angelina said once again. Miriam sighed at the two girls who wore apologetic looks.
“You know that it’s only because of the guests Miriam,” Beatrice blurted. Realizing her mistake, she hurried to correct herself and curtsey once more, “Uh… I mean... Miss.”
“This is killing me!” Miriam groaned and threw her hands in the air in defeat.
Gustavo was a formal man, and he was terribly difficult when it came to the formalities. He was a kind man, and he took pride in the work he did for them since her mom essentially saved him and his wife from living on the streets. He was perpetually in debt towards her mother, and she knew that he would do anything, to make her proud of him, and not regret her decision.
Miriam grumbled and turned to leave. The mention of the guests made her mind sway back to Blake. She blushed by the thought and shook her head. He did look devilishly handsome.
Lost in her thoughts, she walked right into someone, causing her to lose her balance and stumble. She looked up at the person before her, and saw Blake standing with a worried face looking down at her.
“I’m sorry, are you okay?” he asked, and reached out to steady her.
“I am fine, and it is I that should apologize, I wasn’t looking,” she answered formally and looked at the floor. Her bare feet looked childish as she was wandering around in nothing but an ordinary dress.
“I wasn’t either, so I guess we share the fault,” he said and gave a soft chuckle. The sound pleased her ears, and she glanced up at him. He was smiling, showing his teeth a little.
Do all guys have so perfect straight teeth? I guess I should get the name of his dental practitioner.
His hand still lingered on her arm, and she gave him a smile in return.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“Actually I’ve just finished unpacking and I was on my way back to the library in the hopes of finding you,” he answered and took his arm away from her. In the absence of his touch, Miriam felt cold.
“Really?” Upon hearing, this Miriam felt genuinely happy. Her cheeks felt flushed once more.
“Yes, I didn’t get a book from the library, and since my uncle and your mom are currently conversing downstairs, I thought I could learn a bit more about you,” he answered with a gentle smile and gestured for her to lead the way.
Miriam would never admit to it, but warmth spread inside her as they made their way to the library, and once again sat down in the soft cushions, facing each other.
“What do you wish to know about me then?” filled with curiosity, Miriam decided to start.
“My uncle didn’t actually tell me a lot about why we suddenly had to stay here. He said something about treating you for something, though he didn’t explain what,” Blake admitted. A sad look showed on Miriam’s face at the memory.
I guess he knew all along.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” Blake held up his hands to comfort her.
“Oh no, it’s not that … It’s just that I’m not used to being around people my age. All because of this—in lack of a better word—disease,” she said, and looked up to follow his reaction. His faces showed genuine interest, and she got the courage to go on.
“You must have noticed my bruises and now, right?” she asked, and he nodded in return.
“Yes, you ran into a door, right?” he said, and she couldn’t help a faint smile at this.
“I wish I did, but no. I get these bruises and cuts without reason. They have no structure, or anything. We don’t know why or when. These bruises, that I have now, are from last night when we had dinner with your uncle. It started right at the dinner and continued thereafter,” Miriam explained and looked down at her hands.
“Last night? These bruises look older than that,” Blake reached out to touch her face. Tugging a strand of her hair behind her ears, Miriam looked up and met his eyes briefly before looking down at her fingers once more.
Dear Solem, why am I blushing so much? She had little hope that the redness of her cheeks would not appear on her pale skin. Clearing her throat, she answered him.
“I know. They heal remarkably quickly though. Faster than normal people, this is why I don’t go out much. If it were discovered it could make me a lot of trouble, more than I have already.”
They sat in silence for a while. Neither one of them knew what to say.
“I’m sorry,” Blake’s voice cut through the silence; she looked at him and saw that he was looking down at his hands, fumbling with them.
“It’s not your fault; it’s been like this ever since I was born,” her voice was monotone. The reply was on autopilot, she had said it so many times over the years.
“I didn’t mean to make you upset, I was just curious,” he said.
“Don’t worry, I can understand why. It’s just… Please don’t think of me as some kind of freak,” Miriam begged.
Blake gave a surprised look.
“Why would I think that?” he asked.
Fumbling with her hair and looking down in shame Miriam answered.
“You know… since I am not normal.”
Waiting for an answer she kept her gaze down until his hand slightly tipped her head upwards.
“Define normal,” he said and caught her eyes with his own. Miriam looked straight into his wondrous dark blue eyes. She wasn’t able to look away.
“You have a point there,” Miriam said and tried to swallow the lump that was stuck in her throat.
He broke the eye contact and looked around.
“So… Do you want to go book hunting?” Blake asked with a big grin. Excitedly Miriam nodded and went to her favorite row of books.
“What are you looking for exactly?” she turned around to him and asked.
“Anything really, my uncle said we were to stay here for a while, so I guess I got time on my hands to catch up on reading,” he said with a shrug.
“Oh well, that didn’t give me a clue on what to suggest.
Miriam went around and looked at the individual rows filled with books. She stopped at the classics and suggested he checked them. He came over and she kept looking around. She stopped in front of the history section. She loved history.
Running a finger over the top shelf of her beloved books about the world, and all of its wonders, she was amazed at the information it withheld. She had already read the book about Astron’s history that they were currently reading though, in her mind, it was a dumb book: nothing vital was described, and it did nothing more than to praise everything the Astronians had accomplished. Since then, she had been on the hunt for more reading material.
“I think I’ve found something,” Blake said, and she whipped around to face him. He gave her a broad smile, and sat down to read. Miriam smiled at this. She was glad that he didn’t just take the book to his room. She watched him lean back, making himself comfortable. His dark brown hair fell slightly in his face and made him look innocent.
She turned around and out of the corner of her eyes; she saw a book, with the name ‘Astron’ engraved in gold letters. She took it out and flipped through a couple of pages. She came upon a chapter called ‘The War’ and mentally high-fived herself—this book had to be worth something.
Taking it with her, to sit next to Blake, she saw her romance novel on the table in front of her. Remembering how she left the couple at their most troublesome time, she decided to finish that one before she began reading another.
Blake gave her a small smile as she took the romance novel, and she blushed, knowing he had seen her choice of book. She tried to smile back, with confidence before she leaned back. She was well aware of his closeness to her. Shifting around in her seat, Miriam tried to sit comfortably. It took her around ten minutes before she finally settled down and forced her eyes on the pages of her book rather than the male beside her.
Miriam must have re-read the page at least thrice before she finally managed to get back into the world of Susan and Ramón once more.
With one last glance at her companion, she settled back in her seat. Biting her lower lip, she couldn’t help but to notice that the only sound between them was the flipping of pages in their books. Feeling at ease, she returned to Ramón just as he held Susan in a tender embrace.