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chapter three: *How Am I Going To Be An Optimist About This?*
She had never understood how one person could ever make you feel so horrible. She never understood how one comment could stick out like a sore thumb in a sea of compliments. She never understood how a hundred people, for example, could tell you you're pretty and then just one, could tell you you're fat and that's what stuck. She never understood it until now.
She realized if that one person, if that one person mattered in any way, whether they were popular or a role model or someone you loved per say, then that one comment really was what stuck.
Liam had said she wasn't his type.
Not anymore.
And it didn't matter that throughout her life at least twenty different boys had shown interest in her, it didn't matter that just last night when her best friend Sam had convinced her to go out for dinner, a handsome looking boy by the name of Nick Fowler had told her she was indeed beautiful (not that Liam had necessarily said she wasn't because that would have broken her completely), she still couldn't get Liam's words out of her mind.
And she tried to hate him for it, but mostly she just hated how much it got to her.
How suddenly inferior she felt.
Somewhere deep inside her, she always felt like Liam had been too perfect for her, too sweet, too romantic, too charming, too charismatic, too popular, too handsome, too-too much for her.
And now, the Liam that was so different than hers, but still looked so much like the one she had known, had finally shown her how he really felt.
She just wasn't his type.
Not anymore.
The last part...it gave her a blinding hope.
It told her that all she had to do was bring her old Liam back- dig him back up. But still her heart ached and her mind kept churning around his words.
At first he had just stared at her when she was too shocked to explain that she wasn’t a nurse. And then slowly the questioned answered itself. He realized that besides not being dressed as a nurse, Leslie was indeed too young to be doing anything in the medical field.
“So you’re another visitor.” He had stated so detached to the words Leslie felt herself snap out of her reverie due to the cold that overcame her.
“I’m-I-well-,” She had stuttered and then paused to see if she could at least form a coherent sentence in her mind, “I’m Leslie. I-I’m your girlfriend.”
He had studied her, then, his blue eyes slightly tinged with curiosity, more emotion than she’d seen him express so far, and then furrowed his eyebrows, “Why didn’t you come earlier?” That was all he said.
And suddenly it all burst out of her like if the Niagara Falls had been clogged up for a year and it finally burst through- all the gallons of liquid pouring out so violently it shook the entire world.
She was almost angry. Not at him, not even at herself, but at fate-at life-at the things she couldn’t control. At the damn motorcycle Liam decided would be a good idea to ride, but most of all at the motherfucking drunk driver.
“Look Liam, this is sudden, I get it since you don’t even fucking remember me anymore, but I’m your girlfriend. We had been dating for a little more than seven months when you disappeared on me.” She looked at him and suddenly all the water dried up right there, he looked like he could care less, but she continued anyways, “We-we,” she whispered the next part, afraid to her very core, “We were in love. I-I’m still in love with you and the last three months were hell for me. You, well, I know this sounds cheesy, but it was Leslie and Liam and Love, like you liked to say, and when your lights went out at your house you looked for me to be there since you were-are?- scared of the dark. And well, I was your home and you were mine.” Her thoughts were scattered, but she felt like what she said was enough. She hoped it was enough to spark something inside him.
He seemed speechless for a while, calculating, and then he seemed furious, before it all melted away into that treacherous blank expression.
“That’s funny.” He replied nonchalantly, “Because you aren’t my type.” He cocked his head to the side and scrutinized her again, “Well, I guess not anymore.”
She left after that- mumbled something about seeing him again sometime- and almost ran out of the room, her heart shattered into a thousand irreplaceable pieces and the numbness taking over for good.
***
“Honey, are you sure you want to do this?” Leslie’s mom cooed patiently, “You still got us,” she motioned to herself and then to Dad and the younger of Leslie’s brothers since the other two were away at college, “And a whole summer in a place you don’t know, for a guy-a guy who, well you know, and well I’m just worried.” She babbled.
Leslie just shook her head and grabbed the last of her bags and put it into the trunk of the taxi, “Mom, I’m practically already there, I’m not going to back out now, besides Sam is coming along and I’ll Skype every day.”
Her mom just pulled her into about the twentieth hug that day alone.
“Just be safe, okay, and baby, I know this sounds tough, but don’t get your hopes up too much- you know just in case.”
Leslie almost laughed humorlessly.
She had somewhat recuperated.
Alright so she hadn’t recuperated at all, but at least she felt like she could fight for him now. And it made perfect sense, didn’t it?
He had chased after her for more than an entire summer; she could surely do it too? She could fight for their love- she could be strong enough for the both of them for the time being, surely.
Besides she had Sam. And Sam wouldn’t, like she hadn’t so far, let Leslie wither away into a dried up little version of herself- no matter how much she wanted to do just that.
“Look, I’ll come and visit, okay? I love you guys and we still have the fourth of July.” Leslie waved goodbye as she got into the taxi cab to start the four hour journey.
Her parents had offered to drive her, but she had the growing suspicion that ‘for some reason’ they would have turned back around and she would have found herself back in front of her comfy, white house.
And she had to do this.
She couldn’t just give up.
***
“Tom, are you sure, I mean I feel so guilty, taking our second honeymoon with our nephew in this state,” Mrs. Manning, or Terry as she asked to be called, looked at her husband worried, “Maybe we shouldn’t go. Yes, we shouldn’t go after all.”
Tom shook his head lightly at her and chuckled.
He then turned to smile at Leslie.
“The poor girl’s already here. Besides, he’ll be in very good care, won’t he Leslie?” Tom said in reassurance to his wife.
“Of course,” Leslie replied nodding her head a little too enthusiastically.
Terry seemed skeptical, it wasn’t that she didn’t trust Leslie, from the way Liam had talked about her and from the way he has giving her the cold shoulder and Leslie still stuck around, she knew the girl loved her nephew in a way that was probably too much for her own good.
Still, she felt bad for the boy. His parents couldn’t even come to see him. They were caught up in a too important research program and she wanted to support Liam. She wanted for him to feel like he had a family- even if his direct family couldn’t make it.
“Besides, Leo’s staying with them too,” Tom added slowly walking his wife over to the taxi that would take them to the airport, “And we’ve been planning this for about ten years and finally we have the chance. Plus, it’ll do the boy some good to be around people he would have normally been around before. It’ll help his memory. In fact, I still insist that Leslie take him back to his own home as the doctor recommended so he can get back into a normal routine.”
Terry furrowed her eyebrows, looking torn, “Fine, fine, I’m going, Tom. I just think the entire summer might be a tad too much, what if we went to Australia just for a week or two and came back? And also, to the rest of what you said, absolutely not. Liam deserves to be pampered, here he’ll have good medical care, and anyways, it’s the summer. He never had a regular routine in the summer. In fact, he came almost every weekend in the summer.” She stopped and smiled warmly at Leslie, “Last summer, when he was chasing after you, well, you were all he talked about. Leo and his other friends even mockingly gave you guys a couple name, what was it, Tom?”
Leslie felt herself smile even though the tears pricked at her eyes.
Last summer. What she wouldn’t do to go back there.
“It wasn’t really a couple name, it was more like a catch phrase,” Tom answered laughing, “The boys really did have fun picking on Liam by chanting ‘Leslie and Liam and Love’ anytime he even started to mention you. The boy almost went mad!” He then added, “And we are going for the entire summer like we dreamed of since we were fourteen!” He winked at his wife and lovingly brought her into him. Leslie found it hard, but completely endearing to know that they had been together since Tom had been fourteen and Terry thirteen.
She couldn’t help the thought that zipped past her head. The dirty, little weasel had stolen his most convincing saying from his friends. Still, she was thankful to them, and she knew that her old Liam would have come up with something along those lines for them on his own, anyways.
Leslie almost burst into tears right then. She would have too if Sam hadn’t just pulled up in her kickass of a car- a Shelby GT500. It was a shiny black, but custom made so that the rim lining, stripe, and small interior details such as the seatbelts and stitching, were a sharp, cherry red.
Growing up with three brothers and her parents specifically, Leslie adored cars and was beyond jealous of her lucky friend. But today, she didn’t bother ogling at it.
“Well, there’s Sam,” she said just as the taxi for the Mannings honked its horn.
“Alright, just remember that Liam’s friends, especially the smart one Jonah, will be over to keep him company and tutor him so that he doesn’t have to fall behind and can go to college in the fall,” Terry reminded Leslie for the last time before Tom grabbed their bags.
They were surprisingly light packers.
“Oh, Liam honey, how long have you been standing there?” Terry halted looking at her nephew with a warm smile, “I didn’t want to wake you since we had said our goodbyes last night anyways.” She explained.
“Not long,” Liam answered blandly although Leslie couldn’t help but think he was lying.
Had he heard what his aunt and uncle had said about them? She sure hoped so.
“And bye,” He added awkwardly wrapping his arms around his aunt for the last time since she had rushed over to him.
“Be good!” Terry called over her shoulder as Tom just about dragged her away.
Liam turned to look at Leslie and quirked an eyebrow.
“So you’re really spending an entire summer here…with me?” Liam inquired.
“With Sam,” Leslie answered as the usual longing crept into her body. She wanted so bad to shake Liam until he became himself again and hugged her lovingly- like old times. But she refrained.
“Whatever,” he replied turning around and lazily making his way back inside.
Leslie felt her gaze wander over his back, his broad shoulders, slip down to his butt, and then rest on the back of his head. She knew it was inappropriate to be checking him out, especially since it made refraining herself so much harder, but she couldn’t help it. She just wanted to kiss the crap out of the fool. She let out a low breath.
All in good time.