John Winchester's P.O.V
I received a voicemail message from Dean. He's left me messages before, but this one was different I could tell by the tone in his voice. He talked about how him, Sam and Ella were in Lawrence, Kansas, because there was something in our old house. They didn't know if it was the same thing that killed Mary and Ella.
As I listened to the message I couldn't help, but feel guilty for not being there for my kids. I knew I had to get there, so I drove over to Lawrence as fast as I could. The entire drive I just hoped that Dean, Sam and Ella were safe, until I could get there. I'm surprised I wasn't pulled over for speeding or for running through more red lights than I could count.
I did my best to train them, so they would be prepared to face these type of things. Even with all the training I put them through I still couldn't help, but worry about them. I already lost Mary and there was no way I was gonna lose my kids too, especially Ella. I can't lose my little girl, not again.
When I finally reached Lawrence I drove through the old neighborhood and stopped dead in my tracks when I heard the sound of a familiar engine. I quickly parked behind a big UPS truck, so I could go undetected as I watched the Impala drive away from the place I used to call home. Then I started up my engine and cautiously followed my kids from a safe distance, so they couldn't see me.
As much as I wanted to meet Dean, Sam and Ella face to face I knew it was too dangerous to do that right now. I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize their safety, so I remained hidden and continued to carefully trail behind them. I was surprised when they pulled up to Missouri's house. I parked a block away from them, hidden behind a tree. I pulled out my binoculars from my glove compartment and watched as they dropped Missouri off in front of her house. Then they waved goodbye to her and drove down the block.
Once the coast was clear I started up my truck and slowly pulled up to Missouri's. I parked across the street and made my way up to the front door of her house. Before I could even knock the door swung open. Missouri stood there in the door way and glared at me.
"I know why you're here John, come in."She said while opening the door wider, so I could enter.
I walked in and she closed the door behind me. Then she led me into the living room and we sat down on the couch. She explained about everything that had happened to my kids and the poltergeist that was in our old house. I was relieved to hear that they were okay and that it wasn't the same thing that had killed Mary and Ella.
"You should talk to your children, they're minds are so full of worried thoughts about you."Missouri stated while pointing at me.
"I know, but I can't..."I explained while shaking my head.
"I can call them for you, they only left a few minutes ago."Missouri suggested as she pulled out her cell phone from her pocket.
"No! They can't know I'm here."I snapped while standing up.
"But they deserve to know that you're okay..."Missouri began to say, but I interrupted.
"Look, thanks for helpin' my kids, but I gotta go."I said sternly while getting up from the couch.
"John wait..."She objected as I made a beeline for the exit.
I opened the door and heard her trying to call me back, so I could call my kids. I quickly shut the door behind me and left before she could say anything else. I just couldn't chance her calling Dean, Sam and Ella. I couldn't meet them, at least not until I found out the truth. I hopped back into my truck, and started up the engine. I turned on the radio and listened to, "Midnight Rider" by, "The Allman Brothers" as I made my way out of Lawrence.
I'd been driving non stop for what seemed like hours. The sun had gone down a couple hours ago and as tired as I was I didn't want to stop for anything, until I was officially out of Kansas. More than anything I just wanted to put some distance between me and my old life. Things seemed much simpler back then when I lived a life of ignorant bliss. I was so unaware of all the deep, dark evil in the world, but the night that Mary and Ella died my eyes were opened. Ever since that night I learned evil is everywhere and I'll do anything to protect my kids from it. Even if that means being hated by them for acting like their Drill Sargent instead of an attentive father that's always by their side. I sighed in frustration as I approached the leaving Kansas sign. I had been driving all night and saw the sun slowly rising in the sky. When I glanced over at Mary's picture on the dashboard my eyes welled up with tears. I gripped on tight to the steering wheel as memories of the night she died replayed in my head.
Suddenly I was snapped out of my painful memories by the sound of my phone ringing in my front jacket pocket. I pulled it out and saw that it was Missouri's number, so I answered it. She told me about how the poltergeist managed to come back into my old house and that Mary's spirit helped to take it down in order to save Dean, Sam and Ella. When Missouri was done filling me in on everything, I hung up my phone and did an illegal u-turn. Then I drove back to Lawrence speeding the entire way there.
When I arrived at Missouri's house I parked across the street and walked up the stairs. I knocked a couple times on the front door, but Missouri didn't answer, so I carefully made sure that no one was looking as I went to the right side of the front porch. I opened up a secret key lock box that was hidden behind a plant. I punched in the code and got the key. Then I went to the front door and opened it up. I walked inside and shut the door behind me. I entered the kitchen and put the key down on the counter by a pot of hot coffee. Right next to it was a note that was addressed to me from Missouri.
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The note Missouri left for John said:
John,
I'll be right back, I went to go check in on your kids. I know you're going to be stubborn as a mule and continue to remain hidden from your children, so you might as well have some coffee while you wait for me to return.
I'll tell you everything I find out when I get back,
Missouri
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I set the note down on the counter and managed to down two cups of coffee. I walked into the living room and looked out the window while wondering if my kids were all right. I sighed in frustration while taking a seat on the couch. I tapped my foot impatiently on the floor as the silence started to slowly drive me insane.
All of a sudden the front door opened and Missouri walked into the living room. She placed her purse on the dining room table while saying,"That boy he has such powerful abilities..."
"Why he couldn't sense his own father, I have no idea..."Missouri said while shaking her head.
"But your daughter..."She started to say while glancing over at me.
"Ella, what about her? Is she okay?"I quickly blurted out anxiously.
"She's okay, but she knows you're here, unlike Sam she was able to sense you with her abilities..."She stated while staring at me with her eyebrow raised.
"She did?"I asked with my brow furrowed.
"Yes..."Missouri replied with a nod.
I quickly glanced over at her as I nervously wondered if Ella told Dean and Sam that I was here.
"Did she?...."I began to ask, but was interrupted by Missouri.
"Don't worry, she didn't tell Sam and Dean about you, cause she thinks you must have a very good reason for hiding away from them."Missouri explained while pulling out a paper from her purse. She walked over to me and sat down on a chair by the couch.
"Good, that's good."I responded with a nod. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that she didn't tell her brothers. Then Missouri looked down at the folded up piece of paper in her hand and sighed with a sad expression on her face.
"Ella wanted me to give you this letter."Missouri said while handing me the folded up piece of paper she was holding in her hand. I grabbed it and saw that it looked like it was ripped right out of Ella's journal.
"Thanks..."I said as I put Ella's letter into the inside pocket of my jacket. I planned on reading it once I got back into my truck. For now I had a few very important questions I needed to ask Missouri.
"Do you really think it was Mary's spirit, do you really think she saved the kids?"I anxiously asked while glancing over at Missouri.
"I do."She replied while nodding her head.
My eyes welled up with tears as I glanced down at my wedding ring and wished that I could've been there to see Mary. I should've been there for Dean, Sam and Ella too, but I knew I couldn't. The guilt of not being there for them hit me hard as fought back the tears that threaten to spill over. I kept repeating in my head over and over that I can't contact them...
I was snapped out of my thoughts by Missouri practically yelling,"John Winchester, I could just slap you."
"Why don't you just talk to your children?"She asked while staring at me with brow furrowed.
"I want to, you have no idea how much I want to see em', but.... I can't, not yet, not until I know the truth."I answered while putting my head into my hands.
After I said goodbye to Missouri I left her house and hopped back into my truck. I pulled out Ella's letter from my pocket and unfolded it. Two photos fell out and landed on my lap. I picked them up and couldn't help, but slightly smile when I saw that the first photo was the one of Mary, Sam, Dean and I in front of our old house. Technically Ella is in this photo too, because Mary was a couple weeks pregnant with her at the time this was taken.
I picked up the second photo and a few tears streamed down my face, because it was Ella's first ultra sound photo. As I stared at the pictures I remembered going with Mary to her ultra sound appointment and the day we took the group shot in front of our house. Our family was so happy and little did we know what was going to happen. I sighed in frustration while wiping away my tears with my hand. Then I picked up Ella's letter and cleared my throat as I started to read it.
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The letter Ella wrote to John said:
Dear Daddy,
Don't worry I kinda understand that you have your own reasons for not telling Sam, Dean and I that you're here. I'll keep my lips sealed as long as you give them some sort of sign that you're okay. Look it doesn't have to be phone call. It could be a text message, at least something that lets them know you're alive and well. They deserve to know that you're okay, so please just send them something, because if you don't Sammy keeps suggesting that we talk to the Feds to get help in finding you. Dean and I know how much you'd hate that, so we managed to talk him out of it. That might not work again, so please just send them a sign.
I want you to know something very important, that family is stronger together, so I hope and pray that you safely make your way back to us. We all miss you and love you so much. We're all doing okay and watching out for each other. Please be careful, I love you Daddy.
Sincerely,
Your Little Ninja, Ella
PS. Please if you could send me a super, secret ninja star just like you used to when I was little. -Then I'll know for sure that you got this letter! Oh, and if you could please bring me something chocolatey the next time we meet, that would be awesome! I've enclosed two old family photos for you. I hope you like them. I love you and see you next time, hopefully with candy!!! Lots and lots of candy!
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When I was done reading her letter I didn't realize all the tears that had streamed down my face. I took a deep breath and wiped away my tears with my hand. I re-read the last part of the letter and couldn't help but chuckle, because she's always been addicted to candy ever since she was little at least that hasn't changed.
"My Little Ninja."I mumbled to myself with a slight smile. I remember giving her that nick name when she was very little. Despite her size she would work hard to train like her older brothers. She's really good at going in and out of a place undetected. Basically her being little, and very sneaky earned her the nick name.
I placed the pictures on my dashboard and put the letter into my jacket for safe keeping. I started up my truck and drove out of Lawrence.
I was glad Ella wrote the letter and that she was going to keep her lips sealed about my whereabouts. Just reading what she wrote made me feel slightly relieved knowing that all three of my kids were together; watchin' out for one another.
As I continued to drive I thought about Ella's letter. I smirked while thinking about how she wanted me to send her a super secret ninja star, which is what she re-named the star * symbol on the phone when she was little. I used to text her the star * symbols as a way of letting her know I was okay whenever I was away from her, Dean and Sam for a long period of time. Then when her brothers got old enough to go on hunts with me she was still too little to go with us, so I would drop her off at either Bobby's, Pastor Jim's, Helen's or one of my other trusted hunter friends. She hated getting left behind and would get very upset. The only way I could calm her down was by pinky promising to send her a super secret ninja star in a text message. It was like our own secret code that didn't make sense to anyone else, but to us we knew exactly what it meant.
These old memories made me miss Ella, Sam and Dean. I debated whether I should give my kids a call to let them know I was okay, but I quickly dismissed the idea, because I knew it would only cause more problems and endanger their lives. I figured I'd take Ella's advice and text them once I made it completely out of Kansas. I just couldn't chance them putting the Feds on my tail or tracing my call.
Which is why I've gotta be very careful in what I put into my text messages for my kids. I can't let my emotions get the best of me. This was gonna be hard, but I've got plenty of miles to think about it.