Hey, guys. Well, hey Heden, my wonderful horcrux, who has been pestering me to update :) I'm feeling bored right now, so I'll grant your wish. Love ya. 🙃🙃
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Was it only a few days ago that I used to be able to go to sleep peacefully? It seems like an eternity. But I guess that's how it is. You only know what you had when you don't have it anymore. And by then, you would do anything to get it back.
I was lying in bed taking in those deep breaths everyone always claimed would calm me down.
I couldn't believe the dream I'd had. How could this be? I mean, I had been having nightmares ever since the funeral but they weren't ever to the point where I'd killed my sister, my own sister! I shook my head and hugged my knees.
I love my sister. I love my sister. I love my sister.
I repeated the mantra to myself. It was like saying it over again reminded me that it was true.
But that was until she snaked her way back into my head.
"Do you? Do you really, Tara?" Atra purred.
"Yes! Yes! Yes, I do! Go away, go away!" I screamed, all the while being unconscious that I was talking to a voice in my head that no one else could hear. I paled when I recognized my mistake. It was the middle of the night, and my family was asleep! How could I scream!?
Suddenly, my door opened and my mom was standing there in the doorway.
My dad was right behind her, and they both had worried looks on their faces.
Well, I'm pretty sure my mom's was fake but I knew my dad's wasn't.
"Are you okay, sweetie?" my dad inquired, a concerned frown on his face.
"Umm.. yeah, sorry...I just..." I stuttered.
"It's alright, princess, you don't need to explain. I'll go get you a glass of water." My dad said and left the room still smiling at me.
Suddenly something hit me.
"Where is Aurelie?" I ask cautiously.
"Oh, she's back in her room. You know, sleeping." My mom replied with a dirty glare at me.
Like you're supposed to be, I automatically added her unspoken words.
She shook her head, and pursed her lips, looking at me as if I hadn't done something wrong.
"What?" I hissed. " If you want to say something, spit it out."
My mom narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth but before something could come out, my dad returned with the glass of water.
If he noticed the tension between us, he didn't say anything. Just walked over and handed me the glass. I thankfully took it from him and gulped it down greedily. I realize he's added a hint of lemon to it and it's ice cold just the way I like it. I smile and lean into him saying, "Thanks, dad."
He smiled back, saying "No, problemo, princess! Want me to stay the night?"
I swallowed, glancing back at my mother, knowing that saying yes would make me a baby. A baby who needed her daddy.
I said yes anyway.
My dad smiled reassuringly and my mom just raised her eyebrows judgementally and walked off.
Right now, I had bigger worries than whether or not my mom thought that I was a baby or not.