“I swear if he’s not here in the next five minutes I’m going to go get him and strangle him,” Mary snaps, folding her arms across her chest and tapping her foot impatiently.
“Not if I strangle him first,” I mutter, looking across the medical building parking lot for my truck that Emery took earlier. I’m just over three months pregnant and it’s just starting to show so today we’re finding out the gender. As if I’m not nervous and freaked out enough, it just makes it worse that Emery’s late coming from Alana’s.
“Honey,” my mother says, putting her hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t we wait inside for him? It’s really hot out here for you.” I squint my eyes in the early June sun.
“Mom, its fine,” I sigh, again scanning the parking lot. “I’m pregnant, not old.”
My mom gives Mary and knowing look just as I think I hear a familiar rumbling. Then, on the road leading towards us, I see my truck driving full speed towards the parking lot.
“Is that Emery?” My mother gasps, putting her palm against her forehead to see in the sun. “He’s driving like a maniac!”
“He is a maniac,” Mary mutters, just as Emery somehow manages to slide into a parking space, barely missing a minivan by an inch.
“Sorry I’m late!” Emery yells, jogging towards us. Instead of waiting, the three of us start walking up the path to the medical building, giving Emery the cold, annoyed shoulder.
“Nice of you to show up,” I snap, falling a few feet behind my mom and Mary. Emery slows to my pace and grabs my shoulder, turning me to look at him.
“I said I was sorry,” he says defensively as I jerk my shoulder out of his grasp. “Alana just needed help-“
“Of course it was Alana,” I snap, turning my eyes to glare at Emery. “Who made you late to find out whether your pregnant girlfriend is carrying a boy or a girl.”
I start speed walking away from Emery to catch up with my mom and Mary. They hold open the front doors for me and I stomp in, clenching my fists together at my sides. Emery finally catches up when we stand in front of the elevator.
“Do you think Dad is here yet?” I ask my mother, trying to make the silence less awkward. My dad was already in town so he said he would meet us here.
“He’s probably up there already,” she tells me, just as I feel fingers clasped around my wrist. Emery pulls me a few feet back just as the elevator opens and my mom along with Mary walk inside. I glare at Emery, who’s giving me a pleading look. Just as the elevator doors are about to close, my mom reaches out and stops them. “Are you coming or will you two meet us up there?”
I go to open my mouth to say we’re coming however Emery answers for me.
“We’ll meet you two up there,” he nods to my mom, who lets the doors close. Once we’re alone in the foyer, he grabs both my hands. “River, can we please just be civil?”
I laugh and look away. “Yeah, right,” I mutter, not wanting to have this conversation. He squeezes my hands and I move my gaze back to meet his.
“We’re about to go make a huge milestone in our lives and you’d rather do it hating each other?” I watch his begging eyes and sigh. He does have a point as much as I hate to admit it. But I’m not sure how I’ll be able to put my anger and hurt aside right now.
“Well, maybe if you would stop bringing up Alana in the very few conversations we do actually have, I wouldn’t want to strangle you right now.” Emery gives me a strange look and I move my eyes to the floor.
“But you just brought her up.”
My head snaps up towards him and my eyes narrow. “I said I was sorry,” I mock, trying to sound like him. “Alana just needed help.”
“Would you rather I just not give you an explanation?” I bite my lip, knowing that having one is better than letting my mind wander for a while on what made him late. He squeezes my hands and gives me a small smile. “So can we please go up there and find out now together?”
I pull my hands out of his and look away. “I don’t think I can do this, Emery.”
“Of course you can,” he says reassuringly, brushing my hair out of my eyes. “I know you can.”
“I mean I don’t think I can do this together.” His eyes grow wide and I see irritation flash across his face before disappearing back to a confused expression.
“I thought we just sorted things out,” he mumbles, trying to understand what I’m saying. I take a step back and raise my eyes to meet his.
“If you think we just sorted things out, clearly you don’t see that we’re in a really bad place in our relationship, Emery.”
“What are you talking about?” He takes a small step towards me and I just shake my head, completely agitated that he’s this oblivious to what’s going on.
Tears start to form in my eyes and my voice raises a pitch, making me thankful that we’re alone in the hallway in front of the elevator. “You spend more time with Alana than you do with me and even when you are with me, we don’t even talk! I’m trying so hard to make this work, Emery and you’re the one pulling away! You text her and phone her constantly, when I’m the one who really needs you right now!”
“River,” Emery murmurs, taking a step towards me. He brushes the tears from my cheeks and looks at me with concern. “I’m trying, but it’s hard.”
“You think it’s hard?” I spit, taking a step away from him and swatting his hand away. “Try having your boyfriend not even know that you’re showing!”
At first, Emery looks upset because I’m yelling, but then a confused expression appears across his face. “Showing?”
My eyes narrow and I start breathing angrily. He doesn’t even know what the word means, even though it’s written about a million times in the pregnancy books my mom bought for us. Clenching my teeth together, I take a step back and lift up my baggy shirt that’s been hiding the growing baby inside me.
Emery’s eyes grow wide as his breath catches in his throat. He stares at the small bump staring to form from my stomach, having no idea that it’s there. He and I both know things would start getting even more real once this started happening, however so far I’ve been facing it alone.
I quickly pull my shirt back down; embarrassed as I do my best to ignore my cheeks that must be beat red. For a few minutes, neither of us say anything. I glare at Emery, extremely upset as I sob in the middle of the hall. At first, he’s extremely shocked. Then, his eyes start to sparkle and I see that he’s getting upset too.
“Oh god,” he says, not hiding the tears that are forming in his eyes. “River, I’m so sorry!” He runs towards me and wraps his arms around me. I don’t fight him as he hugs me tightly, making sure there’s room for my belly that’s just starting to grow. I stop sobbing just as Emery starts to shake around me as he fights his own tears. “I can’t believe I did this to you!”
“Emery,” I murmur, trying to loosen his grasp. All my anger and frustration disappears as he meets my eyes. “It’s fine.” Okay, so it’s really not fine, however he acknowledging his faults is a huge step up from before.
“No,” he says, shaking his head. “It’s not fine. I’m going to make this up to you, River. I promise.” He kisses my forehead and lets his lips linger there for a second. “No more going to see Alana every day or ignoring you to talk to her.” He pulls away and looks at me sincerely. “I want to be here for you.” He takes both my hands in his again and gives them a squeeze. “I want to go through this together.”
I give a small smile and step towards the elevator. “Then let’s go find out about our baby,” I whisper, clicking the button before the doors open. “Together.”
We both wipe out tears as we step into the elevator and click one of the buttons. As we start going up, Emery wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him.
“I love you,” he murmurs, before kissing my forehead. “So much.”
“I love you too,” I whisper as the doors open. We step out into the hall, Emery walking beside me with his arm around my waist. In the waiting room of the ultrasound office, my parents and Mary stand immediately, signaling that we are both extremely late.
At the front desk one of the nurses gives us a knowing look, probably because out eyes are all red and glassy. My parents however either have no idea or aren’t saying anything as they lead us down a hall where a woman is already waiting.
As I lay down on a table, Mary starts to squeal excitedly. Emery stands the closest to me, holding my hand tightly. Beside him is my parent’s, then Mary who are all beaming in eagerness. As the woman starts to move something across my newly growing stomach, our baby comes up on the screen in front of us. My mom wipes tears from her eyes as she sobs, happy and sad at the same time.
“Do you want to know the gender or do you want to wait until giving birth?” The woman asks me and my cheeks instantly flush, embarrassed.
I look to Emery who gives a reassuring smile. “We want to know,” we tell her, exactly at the same time.
“Well,” the woman smiles, moving the object over my stomach to reveal more of our child. “Congratulations, it’s a girl!”