Alone
I come home from a stressful day at school. The teachers were annoying as always, I was annoyed by the people at school except for my friends, I failed my exam. Yes, it was a great day. Just great.
My bag drops to the floor and I grab some food out of the fridge before I go upstairs, hoping my parents will not notice that I'm home so I can go on my laptop. While my laptop boots up I change into sweatpants and finally sit down on my bed with my laptop and the bowl full of cereals on my lap.
Not even seconds later I open Tumblr and everything seems calmer, brighter, better. Hours ago I felt like crying but not anymore, no I'm even smiling because of him and his face and the photos and him, him, him.
The whole day I was waiting to sit here in this position and just to see his face. I may not know him or heard his voice in real life or saw him or whatever. But I know that I love him and his four best mates which are also my best mates. Yes, I actually call them my mates or no—I call them my life.
They were there when no one was, perhaps not physically and, I know, they don't even know they were here for me but I know it. They helped me with their stupid interviews, their music which grows with me, with their laughs and just with the fact that they are out there and alive, happy.
Of course, the fact that they are out there in the same universe as me has good and bad sides but I only want to concentrate on the good side.
I stare at the photo of the five of them for unhealthy ten minutes. I really just stare at it but the smile does not want to vanish from my lips. Their music fills my ears, you can probably hear it through the entire house but I need that. I need them.
My love and dedication is not healthy but so true and real. I sometimes think of how it would actually be when I meet them, what they would look like, what they would sound like, what I would say. But then I cry because it breaks my heart that I will never meet them and be allowed to thank them. All I wanna do is thank them for being their imperfect perfect selves.
I love them so much I could write a novel about it. Everyone says love comes and goes but I know—I'm so certain I would bet my life on it—that my love for my five heroes will last forever.