Kasamatsu was unable to sleep. Tossing and turning didn't make it easy to sleep one bit and he didn't know what to do. He argued with Hisui not so long ago...
He sat up and sighed heavily, looking at Hisui sleeping rather messily on the other futon. You would have thought she would put their futon close to one another so it would look like one big futon but she didn't want the idea after the argument back in the hot spring.
"Hisui..."
Hisui smiled happily, "Heh...hahaha~! I'm so happy I can't stop smiling~."
"Hisui..."
"But Senpai, I already have an owner. Oh! But you can always ask my owner and see if we can see each other often!"
"Huh?" He was disappointed to hear that. He wanted her to say that she would like to be kept by him. "What if your owner is never found? You're happy with me, why don't you let me be your owner-"
"Huh? I have only one owner." She looked very offended by his words. He had never seen her angry before, well, he had when she was angry over the ending of an anime she liked but this sort of anger was true from the heart.
"Your owner told me to take care of you, Hisui. He's...he's unable to be your owner anymore."
"...that's not true."
"Hisui-"
"I just know my owner wouldn't abandon me like that!" Hisui made Kasamatsu let go of her and she turned her back to him, hands close to her heart so she wouldn't be hurt by anything. "Please stop being so mean to me, Senpai..."
"I'm not being mean to you, you don't even know what your owner looks like anyway!"
"I will know when I see him!"
Kasamatsu laughed lowly, "Even when he looks like me?"
"Huh?"
"Your owner's face is literally my face, yet, you don't even remember! 'I will know when I see him', bullshit!"
"Senpai, you're hurting me..."
"You're the one who is hurting yourself to find someone whom you can never ever find in this lifetime! Stop wasting your time-" He grabbed her wrist and forced her to look at him. When their eyes met, he saw tears streaming down from her eyes. She was crying because of the words that were stabbing her. Was Yuki irreplaceable to the her who could not remember him? Kasamatsu gently let her hand free, shocked that he had hurt her when he promised to himself he would protect her...
"I really screwed up." He shouldn't have hurt her like that. Why did he hurt her like that anyway? Was he jealous of a dead person? What a laughable thing to do.
He decided to go to the barley field for a stroll, to cleanse the mind from all the storm and turbulence inside.
"Oi, you said she couldn't remember you, why does she know she has an owner?"
Yuki appeared against the tree that stood all alone in the middle of the barley field, "I said she doesn't remember me...I didn't expect her feelings for me would linger behind. She is a powerful little demon indeed."
"Now is not the time be complimenting the stupid cat."
"Nor is it the time to upset her."
Kasamatsu doesn't even know why he was angry over it. He shouldn't be angry over Hisui's words.
"Tell me, am I angry because it is my true feelings? or is it because of your influence?!" Everything was like a huge mindfuck for him and he was sick and tired of being in the middle of it all.
"What do you want it to be?"
"This isn't about me!"
"This isn't about me either, Kasamatsu-senpai." Yuki said to him, "This is about Hisui, I made sure it's always about her."
Kasamatsu couldn't say anything more because he looked down with confusion in his eyes; everything was for Hisui's sake? Does that mean their meeting had been planned from the very start? His existence was determined because of Hisui's sake too? And what about this little feeling of happiness when he's with the cat? Was that his own feelings? Or were they just there for Hisui's sake?
"If everything was for her sake...what about me? What am I doing?"
"Kasamatsu..."
"I want some time alone, please don't follow me..." Kasamatsu couldn't accept things the way they were.
"Hisui..." Yuki was worried about the cat demon he fell in love with.
"Yuki-sama, so this is where you are the whole time..."
The barleys all rot at once when a sea of blue fireballs appear at once. Yuki knew all of them, how could he forget the faces of those who tried to cast Hisui aside?
"Even in death you all intend to follow me?" Yuki asked them.
The many fireballs floated here and there, happy to have found the historical man of fortune. Each soul looked the same in appearance but they all once had a status and a name.
"Look at you all, you have all forgotten what you used to look like, you're all just blindly looking for me as if I can change your fate. Sorry, the only one I have saved is Hisui. I have no intentions of saving any of you..."
"Yuki-sama...!" The blue fireballs all made sad cries, crying at the fact their long search for the man of fortune was all for nothing. "We have spent many years waiting for you to appear again!"
"What was the point of us searching for you all this time?!"
"Why are you leaving us behind?!"
"Why is it always over that demon?!"
"Have you forgotten what misfortune she brought forth?!"
Yuki shook his head and he waved his arm once, destroying a very long line of blue fireballs at once. The spirits were very scared of Yuki at once and were all deadly silent.
"I have not told you to search for me. I used the last of my magic to send Hisui here because this world is much better for her. I won't let any of you ruin the happiness I want for her."
The spirits all spoke over one another, astonished that their Yuki-sama would go so far for a demon entity.
"That girl will bring this world destruction. She is destined for misfortune!"
"That is not right. My fortune and prediction is never wrong. If I can see her getting a happy ending, she will get one." Yuki was very confident in himself and the magic he once had. "She might have some misfortune along the way, but she will find true happiness at the end of the day, I believe that."
Kasamatsu was sitting on a bench, watching the lake in peace. He was on his own until he heard someone walking up to his way.
"Kasamatsu-senpai..." Hisui's eyes were red and she was still a little teary because she was upset with what he had said to her earlier.
"Hisui..."
"Can I sit with you?"
"Ah..."
She smiled a little because he didn't tell her to go away; that meant she's still welcome in his life, right?
"Are you angry with me?" Kasamatsu asked her.
"I can't hate Senpai."
"Really?"
"Nope."
"Even after the horrible words I said?"
"Hm." Hisui nodded and she sat a little closer, "I like Senpai." And a little closer, "I like Senpai a lot." She moved up until their arms were touching. "I probably like Senpai more than Senpai likes me."
"I'm happy that you like me." Kasamatsu admitted, his elbows leaned down against his knees. "Truth is, I'm very confused. The reason why I am born, our meeting, and even the way I feel about you...are they all mine? Or do they just exist because everything was predetermined from the very start?"
"Hmm...I don't get it." She said after trying to think up an answer for it.
"I don't get it either, Hisui." Kasamatsu could feel his own tears welling up. "I don't know anymore..." Was he really him? Or was he just a product of Yuki's fortune for Hisui? He doesn't feel like himself anymore...
"Senpai? Are you crying? Please don't cry..." Hisui stroked his back trying to comfort him. "I'll be good from now on, I'll stop offering little animals as tokens, don't cry..."
It didn't help much that Kasamatsu and Yuki shared exactly the same appearance with only subtle differences in terms of choice of clothing and hairstyle. Kasamatsu was sad because he couldn't tell if everything was real or not; his feelings for her, and even her feelings for him. Does Hisui really like him? Or was it the fact he had Yuki's face?
"Senpai, at times like this, it's okay if you are confused."
"No, it's not!"
"Why not? I mean, I'm confused about a lot of things but you don't see me wondering to the point of crying. Like why do some women on TV have bigger boobs than mine; if the chicken came first before the egg, then how was the chicken there in the first place? And what else? Oh, like why it's tempting to push a glass of water down from the table! There are so many things without answers, and that's okay!"
"The last one applies only to you, you stupid cat! No humans would do that, you idiot!" He snapped at her.
"It is? I was wondering why you never push the glass down..."
"Idiot..."
Hisui giggled and she rubbed her cheek against his back, attempting to comfort the other like what an actual cat would do.
"Stop that, Hisui..."
"Why not? I see cats do that and their owners like it."
"Quit it already!" He slapped the top of her head. However, Hisui ended up giggling; Hisui wanted him to scold her, snap at her, or even hit her, anything! Anything that made him look like his usual self again...and she got it.
"I got you back again."
Kasamatsu looked at his hand and then he looked back at the cat to see she was wagging her tail. How could she be so carefree and smiley after that argument? She really was just like a cat, live simply, and do whatever the hell they want whenever they feel like it.
"You're not angry at me?"
"I'm more worried about you than angry."
Despite the nasty words he delivered to her, Hisui was still more worried about him rather than staying mad. She was such a simple girl, a simple girl who wouldn't think bad of anyone no matter what they did to her. He felt like such an idiot to have a go at her like everything happening was her fault.
"You were never angry at me, were you?"
"Of course not! You're important to me!"
"I thought your owner is the one who is important to you."
"My owner is important, but you're important to me too."
"You're only saying that now because now you know your owner have the same face as I do." His shout from earlier on gave her a clue as to what her owner looked like. Honestly, he was sort of regretting it now.
"What should I do to make you happy again?" Hisui was crying yet again. This time, they were tears for him, and only him.
Kasamatsu stared at her as the soft wind blew by. He's not sure of his feelings but he had a feeling her feelings about him were genuine.
'I thought my existence and my thoughts were nothing but a construction for your happiness. But you...you, who can't even remember what your owner look like, deemed me to be important to you.' Kasamatsu thought to himself.
"Listen, for the time being, there is a lot of things that I am confused with. I might be a little harsh, but I just want you to know..." He touched the top of her hand, lightly squeezing it. "I am not sure if it is my feelings, but I will tell you now, Hisui, you're important to me too."