(Austin)
I checked the clock on my phone for the 10th time. 2:00 am. After falling asleep I’d gotten about an hour of sleep and then I woke up. It had been four hours and I couldn’t fall back asleep. I’m going to be cliché and say that there was too much on my mind. There really was. Way. Too. Much.
I thought about what had happened after dinner. The conversation I had with my mom. Was she right? Are we too young? I understand her side a lot better now that I actually put time into thinking about it. yeah, my career should be my main focus, but its not. Alexis means the world to me. Nothing would ever come before her. I’d do anything, be anything for her. Its not gravity that holds me to the ground, its her. There was no one else I wanted. There would never be anyone else. Age shouldn’t matter when it comes to love. That’s what I always thought.
Then I thought about what Alexis’ mom had said to her. And no, I’m not talking about the stuff that Alexis told me. I’m talking about the actual conversation that I over heard. Her mom thought I was going to break her heart again. At first I thought it was uncalled for, but the more I thought about it the more I realized she was right. I may not end up breaking her heart, at least I hope I won’t, but I know that I am going to be stupid and mess up and she will end up getting hurt. And then I’d spend the next week trying to get her to forgive me and make it up to her. That’s how our relationship worked now. I didn’t like that it was that way, but it was.
Its not like I hurt her on purpose. I still cant understand why she puts up with me. I knew it was only a matter of time thought until I screwed up again. What scared me was that I didn’t know how bad I was going to screw up. I didn’t know how far it was going to push her. I didn’t know if it would be my last mistake. I didn’t know if she would forgive me or not.
Maybe our mom’s were right. Maybe we are too young. One thing I knew for sure was that Alexis deserved someone so much better than me. Someone who wasn’t constantly hurting her and making her cry. I checked the time again and it read 3:00 am. I continued sitting there and staring off into nothing while letting my mind wander. I may as well come to a decision now before its too late. My first decision was to ignore what both of our moms had said and to do what made us happy. Then I thought about calling it off because she deserved better and I didn’t deserve her. But once I thought that, I thought about what life would be like without her. I remembered the first time I really lost her. The pain and hell that life was. I closed my eyes as the memory came rushing back.
--------FLASHBACK---------
I heard a knock at my door and managed to get out a response. I was too lazy to get out of bed.
“Come in.” I said. I lifted my head when I heard the door open and saw my mom walk over to my bed. She pulled up my desk chair next to me and sat in it.
“Hi mom.”
“Austin sweetie it is one in the afternoon. Why are you still in bed?”
“Because I didn’t feel like getting up.”
“How much sleep did you get last night?”
“none” I said.
“None? How?” she asked looking shocked. Sleeping is a hobby of mine, so I understood why it came as a surprise.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Honey are you alright? Your eyes are red and puffy. You look like you’ve been crying.” She asked.
“I’m fine.” I mumbled turning away.
“Austin what happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Well if you don’t want to talk to me then why don’t you give Alexis a call? I haven’t seen her for a few days.” She suggested. I inhaled deeply and felt my eyes water up so I pulled my blanket over my head.
“Austin what happened?” when I didn’t answer I felt the blanket being pulled off of me. “Look at me right now.” I groaned and turned to face her.
“Now tell me what happened.” She said calmly. Before I had the chance to do anything to stop it, I felt tears running down my face. I sat up so I could talk easier. “I messed up mom.”
“Baby what happened?” she was sitting on the bed next to me with her arm around my shoulder. I rested my elbows on my knees and put my face in my hands.
“Alexis and I broke up.” I managed to get out. There was no point in trying to stop the tears because it was pretty obvious that they would continue coming.
“What, why?”
“She was upset with me and when she told me about it I overreacted and yelled at her. I told her that she wasn’t being supportive and that if she couldn’t handle it then there was no point in us being together. And then I left.”
“Oh Austin.”
“And what's stupid was that she had every right to be upset.”
“What was she upset about?”
“She told me that it hurt her that I never told her when I wrote a new song. That I only told the fans. And that I only shared the news with them.”
“Is that true?”
“Yeah, it is. I just didn’t want to believe it at the time. But now I do believe it. and I realize what an idiot I was and how badly I screwed things up.” I said. By then the tears had slowed down to the point that only a few escaped every few seconds.
“Well why don’t you go over there and fix it?”
“I cant.”
“Why not?”
“She hates me.”
“Austin I’m sure she doesn’t hate you.”
“She does. You didn’t see her face. I actually did it mom.”
“What do you mean?”
“I actually broke her heart. I broke the heart of the only girl I am ever going to want to be with.”
“Austin you don’t know that.”
“Don’t know what?”
“You don’t know that there aren’t going to be other girls.”
“I loved her mom. She was my world. my reason for waking up in the morning.”
“I know you did honey.”
“Now what am I supposed to?”
“Well the reason I came up here was to tell you some good news but maybe I should wait until tomorrow.”
“No its fine. Just tell me now.”
“The label called. They want us to move to Miami.”
“When?”
“Next week.”
“Lets do it.”
“What? Austin maybe you should give this some thought.”
“No. I think moving away is the best thing right now. A fresh start.”
(2 weeks later)
I didn’t say goodbye. I just left. I know we aren’t together, but not saying goodbye? Now she really is going to hate me. More than she did. god I’m a screw up. I could have said goodbye. I’m probably never going to see her again. What the hell is wrong with me? I remember getting in the car and drving away for the last time. I looked back at the house full of memories. I kept my eye on it until it was out of view.
We’d been in Miami for a week and it was like nothing had changed. There were beautiful girls everywhere but none of them had compared to Alexis. I still spent my nights replaying that day in my head. I reread old messages. Watched old videos. I looked at pictures. It only made things worse. I thought about deleting it all, but I never did. I only deleted the messages. If this was hard for me, I cant begin to imagine what Alexis was going through.
--------END FLASHBACK----------
Just thinking about that made a tear fall from my eye. It was then that I knew the decision I had to make. And with that I finally fell asleep.
-Next Morning-
I was woken up by a cheery bouncy Alexis.
"Morning sleepyhead." she smiled.
"Morning" i smiled. or tried to at least.
"babe whats wrong?" she asked. she saw right through my smile.
"Alexis we need to talk."
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AUTHORS NOTE: sorrrrrryyy this is so late. this was supposed to go up last week and i completely forgot so i will post another chapter by saturday to make it up. the reason this is so short is because i only wanted one main focus. and that was austins memory of the breakup. i've been wanting to write it for a while and it seemed to fit in this part of the story. so i did :D
only 4 chapters left. probably gonna do a sequel but not for a while. i have other stories i started that i want to work on. sequel depends on the feedback.
bye guys <3