Molly has been sitting for a long time. Even after Alan returned and told her that the judge has agreed to see his lawyer friend tomorrow morning to review her case, she still can't seem to move. Everything hurts and she had to disguise that from him to the best of her ability. He left when Molly's foster parents came. They didn't say a word, they just walked up to her and hugged her. She cried on their shoulder and trembled for what felt like hours and after she was cried out, the familiar silence was born. She's been listening to them attempt to explain the situation for the past twenty minutes and during that time she's been rejecting Charlie's calls.
"There's nothing we can do," Pam says. "We're trying to appeal through the courts but after these recent murders here in California. . ." She takes a deep breath and glances at Daniel with tears in her eyes. "Well, there is one thing we can do."
"Pam, we talked about this."
"I don't care, Daniel!" Pam stands up and spins with a hand to her head. "I have never walked away from a child in need in my life and I'm not about to start now."
"She's not a child."
"She is to me. Look at her, she needs us."
Molly looks up breathlessly with a half-smile. "I'm fine."
"They have no right to just take you away with a few days' notice!" Pam says angrily. "And then have the nerve to offer another child to us like you're replaceable, like we wouldn't even notice. . ." She breathes heavily and faces the wall, thumping her hand against it.
Daniel leans back in his seat and rubs his chin while watching his wife with concern. Molly stares at her phone as it lights up with another message from Charlie.
Stop ignoring me. I'm worried about you. Text me back.
Pam calms herself and sits back down. "Your parents are trusting us to keep you safe so tell us what to do."
"It all depends on the judge tomorrow," Molly says. "They'll decide."
"We're still appealing too," Daniel says. "For after your treatment ends. The judge will only delay your placement for a short time."
"Time is still time," Molly mumbles. "I don't want to think about Saturday. I just want to focus on tomorrow and getting through that."
"We'll be picking you up around noon, we haven't told the kids in case there's a delay or change in circumstances so they will be in for a surprise when they get home from school. They can't wait to see you." Pam smiles and taps her fingers against her leg. "You're all Daisy talks about."
"And Jaz," Daniel says.
"Yeah. Her, too."
"Jaz?" Molly narrows her eyes for a moment.
"Charlie's sister," Pam says. "She's in Daisy's classes at her new school."
"New school?" Molly says. "Wait, when did Daisy move schools?"
"On Monday. We wanted her to be closer to the house."
"I saw her Monday. She didn't mention anything." Molly gasps as she realizes. "Oh, you told her not to. Why would you. . . did you move her because of me? Because you think she's in danger?"
"No," they say together. Pam shakes her head profusely but Molly can tell when Daniel is lying.
"We've been planning the school move for weeks, long before this happened. We just didn't want you to know because we didn't want you to worry. She's settled in fine, obviously made a new best friend that she won't shut up about." Pam laughs to disguise the tension. "Charlie even looked after her yesterday. Daniel, talk now."
"He's very responsible," Daniel says. "I like him."
"Is he?" Molly whispers. "I guess he is."
"We were thinking of going out for a meal tomorrow after the kids finish school. Or maybe even bowling or the trampoline park, something fun." Pam starts to backtrack before Molly has even considered it. "Or we could stay in and order take out. It's entirely your decision."
Why is it Molly's decision? She starts to wonder if they've always based their activities or days out around her, like she's a piece of tissue that will rip if they stretch her too far. Did Alan suggest this to them? Are they the next phase?
"What do you think?"
"I think. . . I could use some fun," Molly says. "In small doses, obviously."
"Obviously." Pam rolls her eyes. "Have you met Lily? Small doses are all any of us are getting."
Molly grins. "How is she doing? I've been worried about her."
"She's been worried about you too," Pam says. "She hasn't admitted it but we can tell. She's still struggling but she said more than five words to us this morning which was progress."
"You have the hardest job in the world," Molly whispers. "I don't know how you do it."
"Patience is a big factor." Daniel smiles at Molly. "And resilience. As hard as it's been we don't see it as a job, we see it as our life. You are a part of that now."
"No matter what happens Saturday." Pam wipes underneath her eye and takes a deep breath. "I'd like to know if these new foster parents can cook ravioli as good as me."
Molly laughs lightly as she wipes her own tears. "I'm gonna miss you guys."
"Oh come on, how many foster parents have you said that to?" Pam takes out a napkin from her jacket pocket and dabs her face.
"None," Molly says. "You're the first."
Pam freezes. The napkin drops from her fingertips and she dives out of the seat. Molly meets her halfway and she rests her face on Pam's shoulder as she embraces her tightly.
"You're not going anywhere," Pam whispers.
"You can't promise that."
"I can damn well promise whatever I like. It'll be their fault for breaking it not mine."
"Pam," Daniel says. "We should be getting back to the kids. You know my mother won't be able to last much longer."
"The old hag can wait a few more minutes," Pam says as she holds Molly's face. "Be brave, okay? Tomorrow may seem scary but you'll be with us, you'll be coming home. You can do this."
"I'll try," Molly says.
Pam breaks away and she holds Molly's hand for a moment before letting it go. They say their goodbyes and Molly remains in the same chair after they have gone. Shiloh lays at her feet and she summons the courage to check her phone. She's interrupted by a knock on the door and she shouts to whoever it is to come in.
Lauren enters the room slowly, glancing around with a shy smile. "Hey."
"Hey."
"They your foster parents?"
"Yeah."
"Your foster dad is extremely attractive." Lauren falls down onto the leather chair opposite Molly and taps her fingers against the arm. "How you doing? I've not seen you since Monday night."
"I'm okay," Molly says. "I'm sorry you had to see that."
"A panic attack?" Lauren mumbles. "You know where we are right?"
Molly smiles. "I wish they came with a pre-warning."
"I wanted to come see you yesterday but Alan said it wasn't a good idea. So how are you really doing?"
Molly sighs. Lauren smiles and leans back into the chair. Her hair is different today, she's brushed it back and pinned it with clips. She has a pretty face with delicate blue eyes and clear, smooth skin. Molly wonders why she goes to such lengths to keep it hidden.
"I'm being relocated to New York," Molly mumbles. "On Saturday."
"What? Really? New York?"
"Yeah, my social worker told me today."
"Damn you're lucky," Lauren says, making Molly glare at her. "At least you'll get some better treatment there."
"Not everything is about treatment," Molly says. "This isn't about treatment. I'm just starting to build my life here. . . I think. I don't want to leave."
"They're forcing you to leave? They can't do that surely."
"They can do what they want. Foster kids have to go wherever the system tells them to go."
"But you're not a kid," Lauren says. "It makes no sense."
"I'm not an adult either," Molly says. "Not until I turn eighteen. A week ago I wanted to die and now the only thing I want to do is stay." Molly looks at the window in a daydream. "I want to try."
"If California can help you then maybe there's hope after all," Lauren says. "My treatment ends on Friday and I plan on celebrating my desire to live hard. You want to join?"
Molly looks back to her. "Join what?"
"There's a bar downtown, I can get you served."
"I don't drink," Molly says.
"This isn't about drinking, Molly, it's an experience that makes you feel good. I always do it after my recovery ends because living should be celebrated. If it isn't then what's even the point?"
"I'm not sure." Molly thinks about it. The thought of having fun is curious to her, real fun, the fun that thousands of teenagers have every week. How much could it hurt? How much worse can it make things? What if it makes everything better?
"If you're leaving Saturday then what do you have to lose?" Lauren says. "I promise I will stay by your side through the whole thing. We will just have a couple of drinks, reject countless guys asking us out and go home."
"That's it?" Molly says, before smiling. "You swear you won't make me dance?"
"Hand on my heart. Unless you want to."
Molly starts grinning with excitement before biting on her lip. "What about my foster parents? It's not going to be easy to get out of the house now so how do I sneak out?"
"Wow, you're really late to the game. No one sneaks out anymore, parents are too smart for that crap now. I've got my own place so all you have to do is say that you're spending the night at mine, having a girl's night or whatever. Say it's essential to your recovery and they can't refuse."
"I don't know, it feels wrong to lie to them after everything I've put them through."
"You're not lying," Lauren laughs. "You are spending the night at mine. You're just leaving a few minor details out. It'll be fine, I swear."
Before Molly even has time to panic about it she starts nodding. She isn't sure where she's getting this bravery from lately but it's natural to her now. She wants to try new things, she just wants to be normal, whatever that means.
"Okay. I'm in."
"Excellent! I can't wait. What's your number? I'll call you Friday."
Molly tells her the number and Lauren types it into her phone quickly. She stays for a little while longer until the nurse brings in Molly's dinner on a tray. Molly has had such a long and exhausting day that she completely forgot to eat. Her stomach growls when she smells the food and she turns the television on as she eats it on her bed. She stares at the plastic knife and fork, realizing this will be the last time she will eat her dinner using them. Tomorrow, she will be back to metal, and she's strangely looking forward to that. Her phone begins vibrating again and she rejects Charlie's call instantly. A minute later, she receives a text.
Answer the phone or I'm coming down there.
Molly hovers her finger over the message. She doesn't doubt his threat, he's turned up here before. When he calls back she has no choice but to answer. She doesn't even know where to begin. She's been avoiding him because he's the one person she can't say the words to, it's been easy with everyone else but not him. Not him.
"Hello," she says quietly.
She hears him take a deep breath of relief. "What's wrong with you? Do you know how worried I've been?"
"You have? Why?"
"Because of earlier. The news? Why haven't you replied?"
"Why do you care?" Molly whispers.
"I care because I'm your friend. At least I thought I was."
Molly closes her eyes as she holds her phone a little tighter. "We're not friends, Charlie. I'm just the girl that you feel sorry for."
"What are you talking about? I'm sorry that I didn't call you, alright? But I have stuff going on too."
"This isn't about the call," Molly says. "I'm. . ." She opens her eyes and swallows down the words. "I don't think we should talk anymore. I think it's best for both of us if we go our separate ways." The line goes so quiet that Molly checks to see if he's still there. "Hello?"
"I'm still here."
"I appreciate everything you've done for me," Molly says as tears stream down her face. "I wanted you to know that."
"Are you sure this is what you really want?"
No, her mind screams. She holds her head as it starts to spin. This is the only way to protect herself, by letting him go. Even now, just merely hearing his voice, the comfort it brings her is powerful. But if she leaves then she'll have to survive without it. And she can't do it then if she doesn't try now.
"It's what I want," Molly lies. "I'll be okay. You don't have to worry about me."
"That won't stop me from worrying."
"I know."
"Okay, well, I guess this is it then. Unless you change your mind, in that case then you can call me whenever. I'll be there."
"Take care of yourself," Molly says. "And have a great life. You deserve it."
"You, too. The taking care of yourself part, not the great life. A girl like you definitely doesn't deserve it."
Molly laughs. "Why do you have to do that?"
"Do what?"
"Make me laugh when I'm trying to say goodbye."
"This doesn't have to be goodbye. I'm not sure what changed, if it was the news or the murders but if you're scared then I can help. You're being released tomorrow, right? Are you scared about that?"
She smiles. He's trying to keep her on the phone for as long as he can and even though she can see right through it the tone in his voice is full of genuine concern. She wanted to make this quick, like ripping off a band-aid, but nothing is ever quick with Charlie. It's like time freezes for the entire time that they speak to each other and then she can't catch up with it.
"Yeah," she says. "I'm scared. I don't know what to expect. Everything here runs like clockwork."
"Well it's either step outside or live in a hospital for the rest of your life. I know which I'd prefer. You can't hide from this, Molly it's happening. And I think it's pretty great."
"You do?"
"Yeah. Your life starts tomorrow, your second chance starts. How many people that commit suicide can say that?"
"None," she mumbles.
"Exactly. I'm free after school tomorrow, I could drop by your house."
Molly groans and anxiously bites her lip. "I don't think you've been listening to me."
"I've been listening, I just chose not to accept it. Like the bridge, remember? I'm hard to get rid of. I'm like a wasp."
Maybe it would be better if she told him goodbye in person, that way he might actually take it seriously. "Fine," she says. "But it'll have to be straight after school before Pam gets back."
"Fine," he echoes. "I'll text you when I'm on my way."
"You infuriate me," she mutters.
Charlie laughs. "I'll take that as a compliment. Was there anything else you wanted to say that I could easily talk you out of?"
"Nope. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
She disconnects the call and throws the phone at the bed. She folds her arms as she tries to make sense of what just happened. It started with goodbye and ended with him coming to her house tomorrow. That's the influence he has over her, it's embedded into her so deeply that she can feel it running through her skin. And now she has to do it all over again, to his face. She has to look into his eyes and either tell him that she's leaving or lie and say that she wants nothing to do with him. He'll see straight through it, just like now.
Molly lays down and rests her head on the pillow. Her head fills with countless distractions. Nice distractions. She lets go of her problems and she focuses on the infamous imagination of happiness. It tingles at her heart, tempting her further and further into an unknown reality that can only exist within her hopes. Charlie is a part of that reality and she can take his hand and press her lips to his without hesitation. She is fearless and confident and the sky is so much clearer. She is a normal seventeen-year-old with ambition and passion. Her life was never destroyed, her painful past never occurred and her future is rewritten.