**Don't worry, you don't need to profess your undying love to me for this double update - I already know how much ya'll love me. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER AND THE DOUBLE UPDATE!!**
Troy's POV
A week. An entire fucking week. That's how long it's been since Aurora and I last talked. I couldn't get her out of my damn head. She's been the single thing on my mind every second of every day. Call me desperate or insane or obsessive – maybe all three, even – but I couldn't keep myself from checking in on her each night. I knew from the little time that we had talked, and also during when she'd she helped me with assignments, that she always went to this one special spot in the library every night from six-thirty to ten. Sometimes later depending on her workload.
"It's the perfect time to go. Everyone has usually already had dinner, people are tired from having classes all day, and they are usually busting to get things done. I'm telling you, it's prime homework or study time." She'd once told me. I remember making fun of her for it back when she'd said it, but she was so right. I knew exactly where her 'special place' was as well, so it was impossible to keep myself from going and just watching her. The way her eyebrows scrunched together in either confusion or determination was absolutely adorable.
This could probably be considered stalking, but dammit I just wanted to make sure she was okay! We'd never discussed it, because I could never figure out how to bring it up, but she was always jumpy around most people. I could see it everywhere we'd gone together.
Even now, as my biology book slipped from the small makeshift desktop I'd put together, she jumped a mile high in her seat while glancing around frantically. I cursed at myself under my breath. My cover was for sure going to be blown. There was no doubt in my mind that she would see me, and then she wouldn't come here anymore. That would mean I wouldn't have any way of making sure she was okay at all times. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Like I'd predicted, her eyes skimmed over my staggering form cooped up in the small armchair. I'm sure the sight itself was comical to say the least. The things I do for her I thought to myself while fidgeting uncomfortably. I could see her body tense as her eyes darted back over and made contact with my own. Her eyes narrowed the slightest bit before she rolled them and began to pack her things away. Glancing down at my watch, I knew something was up because it was only 8:45.
Not wanting to continue watching her from afar, I decided I'd waited more than an ample amount of time to talk to her. It was about time she gave me some answers. Quickly shoving my shit into my backpack, I stormed over to where she was perched behind the desk. I didn't want to give her a chance to slip away before I could confront her about everything that had happened between us all those nights ago.
Throwing my bag on the floor, I dropped into a squat between her legs, forcing her to make eye contact with me.
"Why?" I asked simply. She looked uncomfortable with how close I was to her, but I didn't give a shit.
"Please just go, Troy. I have things I need to get done." She spoke while squirming under my intense gaze.
"Well too damn bad! I do too, and I can't get jack shit done because you're all I can think about. 24/7. Do you know how infuriating that is?" I said vehemently. She sighed in annoyance while crossing her arms over her chest.
"If you think you can just sweet talk your way into forgiveness, then you're wrong!" She said with a pointed glare.
"How the fuck am I supposed to be forgiven when I don't even know what I did wrong in the first place!" I argued back. She was giving me so many mixed signals, it was making my head hurt.
"Sometimes not everything is about you, Troy!" She growled out as tears began to form in her eyes. I panicked, not wanting to be the cause of them. Placing my hands on her thighs, I rubbed up and down soothingly. She rested her face in the palms of her hands, weeping silently.
"You d-don't understand." She hiccupped out.
"What? What don't I understand? Tell me, baby. I'll help!" I pleaded, needing to know what was causing her to be this upset.
"No! I – you - we just...please just go." She whispered brokenly, still sobbing quietly into her hands.
"I'm not leaving until I know you're okay." I spoke sternly, standing my ground.
"I'll be okay when you leave!" She said, raising her voice at me. I stumbled back, hurt from her words. I wasn't sure how much more rejection from her I could take.
I had to laugh at myself. What a joke that was. I was never giving up on this girl. Though, I was going to need to give her some space to figure out whatever it is that was going on. That much was clear.
"You may not want me here, but that doesn't change the fact that if you need me, I will be." I said, not once breaking my intense gaze. Her lips pursed and it looked like she was trying to formulate a sentence, but I was sure that she was about to say was something I wasn't going to want to hear. With that thought in mind, I snatched my backpack off the ground and turned on my heels, making a swift exit from the building.
**
Aurora's POV
"Dammit, Rora, fucking talk to me!" He yelled, clearly tired of the cold shoulder I'd been giving him. I could feel the stares of the random people lingering behind me burning into my back. This. This is exactly what I'm trying to avoid I thought to myself.
"Nothing is wrong. There's nothing to talk about." I said with a pointed glare. Did I feel guilty for how horribly I was being towards him? Yes. Was this attitude necessary for him to keep the fragile bubble that surrounded his perfect little life intact? The answer to that was also yes. I was doing him a favor. He just didn't seem understand that quite yet. I didn't want him to have to understand.
He let go of my hand, the warmth disappearing along with it. I found myself yearning for his large, calloused digits to be entangled with my own once again. It was a sensation I quickly came to love, and would dearly miss.
It reminded me of the way my father's hands felt when I was just a little girl. He would wrap his around my own much smaller ones and swing our conjoined palms back and forth, back and forth. Sometimes, he would settle behind me and grab both before lifting me up in the air and swinging my little body in the same motion. I would giggle my head off, screaming higher daddy! Higher! through endless fits of giggles. That was all before the divorce. And the drugs. And the accident.
Troy took a few uneasy steps backwards, as if he'd been burned by my words. I tried to school my face into that of a normal one as I shook off the antsy feeling that the memory of my father had left behind in its wake. I didn't need him thinking anything of this encounter. I just needed to rip the Band-Aid off nice clean.
"I don't get you. We were having a great night." He rasped out, voice strained with what I believed to be anger. He had every right to be. I led him on. I led myself on, thinking I could finally have a happy normal life. Maybe even start all over and have a future with someone who actually cared about me.
Or not.
"Well maybe there lies the problem. You jumped into this because you wanted into my pants, but you don't know a single fucking thing about me." I spat with malice. It physically pained me to watch his reaction. He looked so fucking hurt. And I was the sole cause of every bit of it. I was like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction everywhere I went. It was inevitable, really.
The thing that stung the most, though, was that I knew – for a fact – that he wanted me for more than just my body. He'd made that clear before I even let him touch me. Why did I have to be like this?
He looked to be at a loss for words. I didn't blame him. I'd yet to give him any explanation for my actions. I couldn't, because there really wasn't one. What would I say? Oh, sorry that my life is so fucked and toxic that I can't let anyone close to me! Super sorry, really I truly am! It was like the horrible version of the cliché 'it's not you, it's me!' speech that everyone hated.
"Have a nice night." He gritted out through clenched teeth. His hands balled into fists as he turned and left. I stayed still, not wanting to move for fear of my knees buckling and giving out on me. This hurt. This was more than just being upset; this was a physical ache that resonated throughout my entire body. I'd wanted him so bad. I'd wanted the idea of something more with him. He made me forget all the shit that's happened. I could just talk to him. it was like he had some power to make every obstacle of my day seem juvenile. Most importantly, he made me happy, and that is something that I haven't been in a very, very long time.
But oopsie daisies! You fucked it up – again! The nagging voice in the back of my head taunted. I slapped the palm of my hand against my forehead to try and force the destructive thoughts away. Finally gaining the courage, I turned and made my way into the building, getting out of the suffocating heat.
**
I groaned in annoyance as Gemma ripped my headphone out for the third time in twenty minutes.
"Christ, Gemma! What do you want from me?" I yelled.
"Bitch! I already told you that you were coming with Kat and I to that party! Now, get your ass up and change out of that atrocious outfit. You have, like, ten minutes before we leave." She warned.
Pulling up to the house, I suddenly remembered why I'd sworn to myself I'd never attend a one of these shindigs. Ever.
On the outside it looked as if there was nothing out of the ordinary, but I could feel the bass bumping through my body all the way from inside the car – which was parked by the curb a few houses down. Slamming my door shut, I rubbed my sweaty hands against my shorts. Compared to Gemma and Savannah – Gemma's elusive friend who had a succulent garden and always talked about composting – outfits, I was more than a little dressed down.
Whereas they were both wearing cute, frilly rompers with some sort of scalloped hemline here or there paired with lace up sandals and full faces of makeup, I'd decided to go with my trusty grey t-shirt and the first pair of semi-clean-smelling shorts that just so happened to be lying on my dorm floor. They'd both complained for, about, ten minutes or so but eventually gave up when they realized it was of absolutely no use to try and get me to change. What did I care? There wasn't anyone I had to - nor wanted to - dress to impress for.
Walking up the house's front yard, beer cans and red solo cups littered the grass, as well as a few empty vodka handles.
"We have to go around the back. TJ said that they lock the front door." Gemma muttered while leading the way. I had a sinking feeling in my gut, but I decided to ignore it against my own better judgment.
Taking a single step into the house, I was hit with an instant wall of humidity. That paired with the stench of weed, vodka, and sweat made for an already unpleasant experience. No wonder I told myself never to come to one of these. Taking in my surrounds, I double and then triple checked to make sure I knew where all visible exits were. This was something I'd taught myself over the years.
My eyes scanned the room, or at least what was visible to me through the giant crowd of people. I snorted to myself in amusement. This place was absolutely disgusting. It was so hot in the room that there was condensation running down the walls, and most guys had large pit stains already forming. Flags of various kinds hung upon the walls – the most obvious of which was the largest of them all in which hung above the TV - proudly displaying their Greek letters of course.
Snapping out of my trance and focusing back on reality, I noticed that Gemma had made her way further into the room to where a large Ping-Pong table had been set up. Some sleazy looking guy was standing right behind her, practically glued to her backside, while holding her hand in his own. I watched as he guided her hand forward as she sent the small white ball flying. She giggled flirtatiously as he whispered something in her, not even paying attention to whether she made the shot or not.
"You fucking suck." I stated, my aggravation coming out through my words. I took the ball from the guy's hand and swiftly chucked it across the table. It dipped into the front cup before swirling out and landing in the cup directly behind it.
"What the fuck!" One of the guys across the table hollered before removing the two cups I hit and taking a big swig of his beer.
"Maybe you'd be able to aim better if his dick wasn't being shoved up against your ass, Gem." I said in a sickly sweet tone. Gemma covered her mouth as she laughed at my comment, meanwhile the playboy behind her glared at me. He mumbled a half-assed excuse paired with a goodbye before meandering off to what I assumed would be his next victim for the night. Whatever. He had bad eyebrows anyway.
"Thanks. He was cute, but a total fuck bag." Gemma said with an eye roll. I smirked, nodding in agreement before hitting her hip with my own.
"I know. You don't need to be messing around with dirt bags like him." I stated, turning towards the table and snatching the pong ball out of the air right before it landed in the cup. Ignoring the same the two idiots across the table's protests, I flicked my wrist forward and watched as the ball landed straight in the cup I was aiming for with a splash.
"This is bullshit. You two don't even have drinks!" Idiot number one complained. He had red hair with patchy stubble coating his face with deep brown eyes. His teeth were slightly yellow, but other than that and his just-rolled-out-of-bed appearance, he had potential. Couldn't hold a candle to Troy. I thought with a sigh.
"We don't need them." I taunted while taking Gemma's ball from her hand and successfully throwing it into the same cup that I'd landed before. "That's balls back." I said cockily, gesturing with my fingers for him to throw them back.
After beating idiot one and two's ass at two more games of pong, I was terribly bored. I'd had four different guys try and bring me drinks, one of which I knew for a fact was spiked. Did they honestly think I was dumb enough to take a drink from someone I didn't know? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...
The music in the room had been turned up even louder than it was before we'd arrived and was starting to give me a pounding headache. I tapped Gemma on the shoulder and motioned my head towards the stairs, wordlessly letting her know where I was going.
"Are you sure you wanna go alone? That's never a good idea." She replied worriedly. Boy do I fucking know that already...I thought to myself, but just smiled and nodded. Pushing through the crowd of people, I thanked God when I finally reached the staircase. Some bitch railed me in the ribs with her elbow a couple of seconds ago.
Rubbing my aching side, I wandered the floor in search of a bathroom. I opened a few doors, but came up short every time. Finally reaching the last door possible, I jiggled the nob only to discover that it was locked. I knocked on the door firmly, jostling back and forth on my feet. Holy shit I have to go.
"Busy!" A high, squeaky voice yelled from the other side. I heard a different voice pipe up, but – what I assumed was a she - was speaking too quietly for me to be able to decipher what was being said.
"What? No! You're not going anywhere!" The first girl yelled back.
"I said...you're not.....Get off me!" One of the voices kept cutting in and out of my hearing range until they finally yelled. Stepping back from the door, I wasn't exactly sure what to do. Deciding I needed to intervene, I began pounding my fist against the door while simultaneously pushing away the toxic memories that were trying to invade into my mind.
"I said BUSY!" The first girl screeched out at the top of her lungs. I reached up and ripped one of the bobby pins out of my hair before sticking it in the cheap doorknob lock. I wiggled it around for a few seconds before I finally heard the telltale click of it unlocking. Swinging the door open with much more force than was necessary, I was shell-shocked at the sight before.
The same girl that Troy had somewhat introduced me to earlier last week, Naomi I think was her name, was digging her nails into a second girl while she pinned her against the bathroom wall. I stumbled back in surprise before scrunching my brows together in confusion.
"What the fuck is going on here?" I demanded.
"This crazy bitch was-" The stranger started, but was swiftly cut off.
"Nothing!" Troy's ex, or whatever the hell she was, sneered. "Just fucking remember what I said, bitch." She growled out at the girl she was holding down before harshly throwing her back against the wall and facing the door.
She stopped a hair's breadth away from me before a menacing smile graced her face. "As for you, watch your fucking back. You have absolutely no idea what I'm capable of." She cackled before throwing her shoulder into my own while making her exit.
"She's a fucking dream, now isn't she?" The other girl replied sarcastically while rubbing her hands over arm to soothe the already forming bruises and half moon cuts that her nails had left behind.
"Tell me about it." I mumbled. "Mind if I pee?"