The air was cold and dry, the moon luminated the trees as the wind russled the leaves. The faint sound of footsteps tapping against the pathway could be heard below. She wore a long leather coat that blew softly as she carried her bag over her shoulder. Her long brown curls tussled around as the wind embraced her. She looked up at the moon and took a deep breath of air and slowly released it. She had always walked this way. She hated the city. She never really socialized with anyone, they all seemed to keep a distance from her. She looked intimidating when they locked eyes with her. They shivered and glanced quickly away, sometimes sped walked away to avoid coming near her. She couldn't help it, she just had that face. The face of a killer, eyes that had seen death and honestly, they did.
Her life revolved around her books and sketches. It kept her from reality, made her feel not so alone in this crowded world. She always kept to herself, trying to avoid everyone when she could. They never brought comfort, no one seemed to talk or stay long enough around her to even say hey. It was like they were always in a rush to get away. Like as if they knew.
She sighed. She came to have a hard attitude, never smiled, was always serious, and never seemed to take a joke. She had to be hard, had to be stern, in a world like this, how can she let her guard down? At this point it seemed like the world was her enemy. So, she kept a distance. Only went out at night, always avoided people when she could, and always kept her bowie knife nearby just in case. However, no one really bothered her. It seemed even the creeps that lurked at night tried avoiding her. It only took one look. Her crystal grey eyes seemed to glow in the moonlight, it stood out from the shadows. Her brows arched sharp above her eyes. Making it seemed like she was always mad, but she wasn't. Her eyes hid her true feelings. Loneliness. Sorrow. Regret. Guilt. Her pain cut deep, but tears never came. They never did. She felt emotionless but yet, felt so much. So, she kept to the shadows, stayed away. That's all she could do. To keep her from getting hurt. To keep a distance from everyone. She blocks out the world to avoid her emotions coming out. She hated the world; the people. She couldn't trust anyone.
She stopped clenching her fists. It wasn't always like this. She never used to be this way, her world used to fill her with joy; she loved it. Loved everything about it. She used to be so happy not shedding a care in the world. She was careless, but she underestimated how cruel this world could be. How easy your life could change, how unpredictable it can be.
Until that day. The day that it happened; all the screams, the blood. She gripped her arm holding back the pain. Not here. I can't look back. She steady her breath before standing up straighter and continued to walk. She refused to remember. There's no good in remembering, the past has past; they're gone. There's nothing she can do. All it brought was pain and regret, regret for making them take that shortcut. Guilt for not moving and not saving them. Regret for standing by, watching as their throats got ripped out. NO! I REFUSE TO REMEMBER!
She stopped again taking deeper breaths trying to calm her heart. It felt like it could burst from her chest, her eyes burned but still no tears came. Suddenly, she stiffened up and held her breath. The air was silent, the wind blew but it didn't sing. The air seemed still yet it was breezy. She felt like her back was on fire as she turned around slowly. Her face calm and stern but her heart raced. Someone was watching her. She glanced around slowly trying not to lose her composure. She looked thoroughly around her until her eyes went up to a tree. There, someone was squatting, hiding in the shadows. They barely moved but she knew they were watching her. She clenched her fists and laid a hand on her knife that strapped to her side. Her trench coat concealing it from the world. She turned back around and continued her steady pace. She showed no fear, but she always got a rush. It could've been her anxiety kicking in. The thought of people watching her. She hated it. If they wanted to kill her so be it. She had nothing left to live for, but she still wouldn't go out without a fight. She refused to be vulnerable like she was that night.. That regretful night...
After that night, the night of the incident, she went into shock. The police found her covered in blood sitting in silence. She couldn't speak, couldn't cry, couldn't move. They took her to a facility where she stayed for six months. The first month she remained in silence. Barely eating any food, and she never talked to anyone there. She avoided them; was it out of fear? Sorrow? Greif? No one could explain it, until the outburst started. She growled and screamed ripping and clawing at the doctors. They had to confine her and gave her large doses of medicine to calm her down. After a couple months of being confined, she wasn't herself. She lived in her mind and loathed everyone around her. They wanted to keep her there for they saw her as a threat to herself and society. She was labeled clinically insane with extreme PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), she knew she had to get out.
She remained silent and always watched them. Paying close attention to detail, not missing a single move they made. She memorized the shifts, the people, the routines. She learned to calm her emotions without the meds; when they weren't looking she would regurgitate the medicine to keep it from her system. She always pretended her medicinal effects so they wouldn't suspect her. She didn't want them to realise what she was doing. She learned to handle her emotions, to control them, to handle the outburst so she can remain on their good side, to remain calm and to pay attention. Until finally, they put her back in a regular room. From there she watched, waited, and planned before finally escaping from the hell hole they called a sanctuary. It made people go insane, more so than they already were. She didn't know where to go but she didn't belong there.
She broke into her old house, gathered every last savings they had and left. Taking one last look at the house before leaving. They'd never be able to share laughs or memories there and she couldn't stay even though it was vacant. They would find her, and drag her back to that wretched place. She bought a few change of clothes, all black, and left the city. She had a couple thousand to work with. She found an old abandoned house out in the middle of the woods beyond the park where she started her new life of concealment. She bought food here and there when she needed it but spared as much as she could. What will she do when she runs out? She didn't know. She took each day as it came. She showered and ate every once in a while at a local church, but that's the most socializing she ever did. She knew no one, she lost her family; she lost everything. So, she had no choice, she had to stay hidden; in fear of being found. Being recognized and being dragged back there.
She came up to the sidewalk and turned right. The woods lied ahead that lead her to the house. It's been only a couple months since she escaped from the asylum, but it still seemed like she just left the day before.
She originally didn't know there was a house back here but she came across it when she was walking through the woods trying to avoid being seen. No one seemed to have came back there or lived there. It's been her home since.
She stopped again, and looked around. She caught a glimpse of someone in the shadow in an alley across the street. Am I being followed? She furrowed her brow before continuing on. Should I head home or continue to walk? She bit her lip when she came to the corner and decided to go right again instead of straight to the woods. I gotta make sure I'm not being followed. She kept her pace steady, not showing she was nervous or anxious. Just kept her usual pace as she continued to walk down the sidewalk, glancing at the woods line that was just to her left. If I can just make it to the woods unseen.. but that is too risky. Damn.. I better not be followed. She made it to another intersecting T and stopped. She turned pretending to look in her bag and glanced back behind her. Nothing. She held her breath while taking a bottle water out and taking a sip. She rolled her eyes around her glancing to see. No one is near by. She placed the bottle back in the bag and crossed the street to the woods line and continued to walk down the sidewalk. She saw one of her entryways to the woods ahead and stopped when she came just feet away from it. She pretended she dropped something and looked around again while picking up the imaginary item. Nothing. Someone is still watching me. I can feel it. Should I risk it? She bit her lip and made a dart for the entryway and into the woods. She ran down her path, heading deeper in the woods. She came up to the house and stopped facing the door. Her breath was soft and shallow despite the sudden run. She bit her cheek and dropped her hand from the door knob. Damn.
"What is it that you want from me?" She spoke before turning around. In the front opening before the tree line, stood a tall figure with a hoodie over their head. Their hands in their pocket. She took a deep breath and held her knife handle in her jacket.
"If it's money you want, your wasting your time. If it's blood shed you desire then come get it." She spoke steady and stern her eyes not leaving the figure. They took a few steps forward as she walked down to the bottom of the steps. They both made their way into the moonlight. She gripped her knife tighter. So this is it. My time has come. She stopped as did they just feet from each other. Her pale face glowed slightly as did her eyes as she stared at the unknown figure. Their face hidden under their hoodie, darkened by the shadow. They stood in silence glaring at each other for what seemed to be hours but was a mere few minutes. The mystery figure raised his hands to his hoodie and pulled it back. It was a man. His long sleek black hair pulled back in a ponytail. His eyes glowed a dark wine red as he looked up to her, his skin pale and smooth. He watched her still holding onto the knife clipped to her belt. He didn't show any emotion. Just stared.
She watched as he sat on the ground and crossed his legs. She slowly sat on her knees but continued to watch him. Until he finally spoke.
"Perhaps, I wanted to converse with you. Maybe... make a friend?" His voice was deep with a slight accent that was unknown to her. She clenched her teeth.
"You followed me into the woods.. to make a friend and chat? I highly doubt that." Her voice steady and calm. He looked at her with curiousity. "You don't seem frightened."
"I don't scare easily." She said bluntly. He made a hum before looking around. He looked at the house that was slowly falling apart. The paint was peeling bad and the wood looked to be dry rotted on the sides. Her eyes still locked on him as she watched him look around.
"You live here?" He asked with a questionable voice. His voice seemed relax and almost.. alluring. She graced her teeth on the inside of her lip. "For now. Does it matter?" He let out a sigh of dissatisfaction before locking eyes with her again. His eyes were intimidating, they seemed to look right through you. "What made you come to this place?"
She gritted her teeth. "Does it matter?" She snapped getting agitated. Why should I tell you when I barely want to remember myself. He tilted his head in confusion.
"Are you happy here?" He watched her grunt in her throat before letting out a slight chuckle. "Well since you asked, no I'm not but honestly I have no choice but I don't care to share that with you." She paused. "Now if you don't mind I'd like to get to bed unless you plan on killing me. Then get it over with." He laughed slightly shaking his head. "Why, someone is eager to die. There must be a reason." She stood up and dusted off her cloak facing her palms outwards toward him with her arms spread out. "Well, if this is all that you're here for then you found the wrong person for a friend." She lowered her hands and turned away. "You know the way out." She walked up the steps and looked back. He was gone. She looked around then hummed in her throat. He might come while I'm asleep. She sighed and went inside.
*************
She looked around as she cracked the eggs in the frying pan before adding more wood to the fire. She woke up alone and alive. Maybe he did only wanted to chat.
That morning she was on her way out for breakfast at the church when she found an egg carton with four eggs inside. She was hesitant when she picked it up finding a note inside saying, Thought you'd be hungry. She found it right outside her door. Looking around she couldn't see anybody nearby. She sniffed the eggs and looked at them with her stomach growling. She didn't eat since the morning before.
So here she is making eggs over an open fire in the front lawn. There was no power or water supply in the house so she had a stock up of water on the side with chopped wood piled up and cooked over a fire. She kept it small and low so no one would notice the smoke in the woods. She sat back with her plate of eggs in hand and nibbled slowly savoring every bite of it. I wonder if that guy gave them to me. Hopefully it isn't poisoned. She stopped chewing and stared at her eggs. Oh well. Then continued on.
She covered the fire in dirt to put it out before heading back inside to get some things. She needed a shower; a nearby church offered showers for the homeless. She always took one every two days so she didn't seem like she was hogging it up. Alot of local homeless people took advantage of their showers to try to get jobs and look presentable. I wish more churches were that way. She sighed as she head out the door.
On her way back she kept herself hidden behind her glasses and coat as she left the church. There were a few newspapers that had articles talking about an escaped patient for a while; describing who they were but they slowly died down. There was one paper that still had an article linking to her that said, Mentally Insane Patient Still Not Found. She frowned as she passed the news stand. Why can't they give it a rest already. She walked back to the woods slipping between the trees hiding from the world. I'll never be able to get a job if they keep it up.
She sat back in an old 50s recliner, sketching out the house and its trees based on memory. The house dates back to the mid 1800s but had been abandoned since the 50s. She read about it in the local library; curious if anyone would notice her living here. It's been forgotten since the early millenia but was still owned by the Draconians. An old family that migrated here when the states were founded. That's why it was never torn down. The city tried buying the property many times, but refused. According to the records of the house, so to speak.
She spent most of her time in the house. Reading, writing, sketching, dozing off, and laying back watching the trees and animals outside. She didn't mind the quiet life, it helped keep her hectic mind at ease. Every full moon and no moon, she meditates to help ease her pain and memories. She uses the the two moon phases as a symbol of renewal. Rebirth. A way to try to mentally control her memories, to get away from the bad and try to focus on the now and future. She doesn't know what lies ahead but can only hope for the best. Maybe. One day she can actually move forward and face the past.
The sun was setting as she looked out the window. Purples and pinks painted the sky as she leaned back and sighed. It was a full moon tonight. She gathered her candles and made a circle outside. She lit an incense and looked up at the sky. Stars dotted the sky slowly as the moon started to rise. She smiled as she went inside to change into a tank and shorts, she needed to feel comfortable. She took off her shoes placing them on the porch before making her way to the candles. She lit one after the other before sitting in the center. Crossing her legs and placing her hands on each knee palm side up, allowing her to fully relax. Taking a deep breath, she breathed slowly, clearing her mind as the moon rose higher in the sky. She sat like that for a good half hour before something made a snap. Her ear twitched as she felt a slight sudden breeze before the woods fell silent. Hesitant she opened her eyes and jumped a little in her spot.
Feet away in front of her candles, sat a man criss crossed on the grass, staring at her. He stared at her with curiousity like he did the night before.
"Do you not have anything better to do?" She said with agitation in her voice.
"Well, it seems you have nothing better to do either." His voice deep yet gentle as he spoke. She let out a gasp. "As a matter of fact," she spoke, "I'm trying to meditate." He looked at her and smiled.
"Why?" She crossed her arms as she watched a sense of amusement cross his face. "If you must know, it's my way of relaxing. Letting go of my emotions." She looked away, tightening her grip around her arms letting her voice trail off, trying to conceal the emotion in her voice. Trying to block all her memories, her pain. She didn't want to tell this man everything.
He watched her, noticing her dig her fingers in her skin as she responded. He frowned and tense as he watch a small bit of fluid trickle down her elbow. "Why do you do that to yourself." He responded bluntly. She looked at him with a sense of pain in her expression but it quickly faded away. She sat in silence before looking at the ground. Why should I tell him how I feel? How I can barely sleep or eat without remembering that night. How I want to reach out but remember why I'm alone in the first place. How I can't be seen; constantly having to hide in fear, worrying about going back.. how.. her thoughts were one after another. Conflicting on herself, she continued to stare down in silence thinking over what to say. Minutes passed, before he finally stood up. She looked back and held her arms tighter.
"Just so you know, it's worse holding back everything than letting out your emotions." He spoke calm and collected. His voice seemed to pulse in your chest as he spoke. She looked up at the sky and back down. "That's why I meditate, it helps me to cope and release them." She wiped her hands on her shorts from the liquid dripping from her elbow. He tensed up more, "Depending on what it is, just relaxing isn't going to release the emotions trapped deep inside. Sometimes, you need someone to talk to." With that he turned to walk away.
"Wait!" She yelled out. Making him freeze in his spot. She stood up holding the side of her arm nervously before speaking. "I never properly thanked you... For the eggs." He turned around halfway to look at her. Her skin glowed from the moon light. She was thin but somehow muscular in structure. She chopped wood daily to help stay strong and release some of her emotions. She paused before speaking again.
"Thank you." He smiled slightly. "And we haven't properly introduced ourselves." He turned fully to face her and bowed slightly. "My name is Axius, pleasure to meet you." He stood straight again.
Should I tell him my name? Is it even important? She hesitated before speaking aloud.
"My name... Is Sage." He grinned ear to ear before looking to the side. "Sage.. beautiful." He mumbled to himself before looking back. "Have a good night, Ms. Sage." He said before turning and walking away.
Sage, sat there staring at the narrow pathway in the tress that he left through. What was that about? Ugh. I shouldn't have told him! I forgot about those stupid papers! I'm so stupid! She groaned to herself and slapped her head as rain drops started to slowly fall. Well isn't this just great. A creep guy is coming, what seems to be every night now, knows my name, I blew my cover, and now it is raining. She gathered up her candles that blew out and headed up to the porch. Where's pup when I need him.. she sighed looking around. He's been gone for a week now. I hope he comes back soon. She thought before heading inside.