Chapter 16
Stephanie
1990
"For centuries, women have been pushed aside, made servants of, seen as weak and submissive. But today, we shall show you the power each and every woman has. The strength, divinity, and respect every women has and should demand from every last man, woman, and child. Tonight, we show you who really runs the world." I say to thousands of fans that pack the New Orleans Super Dome. They scream in the darkness as dramatic music plays. Lights flash on harshly and the crowd sees Cassie, Jacque, and I dressed in different African princess dresses.
"Girls, we run this mother, yeah. Girls, we run this mother. Girls. Who run the world? Girls. Who run this mother? Girls. Who run the world? Girls." Cassie sings the opening part of the song before I start singing.
"Some of them men think they freak this like we do but no they don't. Make your cheque come at they neck. Disrespect us, no they won't. Boy, don't even try to touch me. Boy, this beat is crazy! This is how they made me. New Orleans, LA baby...Let 'em know, Jacque!" The crowd goes crazy to hear the name of their (our) city.
"My persuasion...it can build nations. Endless power...our love we can devour. You'll do anything for me. Who run the World? Girls." Jacque sings.
"Girls, let everyone know. Come on, New Orleans!" I say and we all sing together as we dance.
"Who are we? What we run? The world. Who are we? What we run? The world. Who are we? What do we run? We run the world. Who are we? What we run? We run the world.
Who run the world? Girls!"
We end in a salute stance as the crowd goes crazy. We relax out of our poses.
"Besides running the world, what else do women do?" Cassie ask.
"We school life of course." Jacque smiles as she cues the music.
We sing and dance our way through our first hit single as the crowd sings and dances with us. We do a quick costume change behind a screen behind the digital wall onstage as Jacque talks.
"It's really crazy how some guys can't accept who I am." Jacque says.
"What? A ball player?" Cassie asks as the wrapped material of our dresses are pulled off of us by stage hands. We slip on are baggy jeans and shirts.
"Yeah. They don't think I should wear my pants down low or throw a ball. They think I should wear a dress and high heels." Jacque shakes her head as she walks out from behind the screen.
"Don't they know that we like to be comfortable too?" I ask as I lace up my Timbs. Cassie and Jacque do the same as headsets are put on us.
"Man, I don't know. All I know is that I like to wear my Hat 2 Da Back." Jacque says and the crowd screams. She throws on a baseball cap backwards and starts rapping.
"So yo, gettin' back to this dude wit' the foul attitude. Shoot he made another bad move sayin' that girls shouldn't wear baseball caps. He can go take a hike cause it's the style I like. Yeah it's a trip cause somethin' hasn't yet been said. I never talked about them damn fingerwaved in his head. Tight jeans and 2 rings in each ear. You know that is dead but it's me instead."
"Hat 2 da back. I gotta keep my pants down real low. That's the kinda girl I am. That's the kinda girl I am. Hat 2 da back. I gotta keep my pants down real low. That's the kinda girl that I am." We sing and dance, jumping up and down with the crowd.
"Some people might wonder why we're like that. Cause we're smooth. Smooth you know." I say as "SJC" is said in the background.
Jacque smiles as she raps, "Relatively speakin' I am no ordinary dip. Cause I ain't reachin' hipped 'til you be thinkin' I'm flipped. And that is ooooh on the SJC tip."
The music ends in a big boom and the crowd goes every crazier. "These dudes be buggin'. They make you wanna creep, creep, creep, creep." Jacque says before singing.
"So I creep, yeah. Just creepin on the down low. Said nobody's supposed to know. So I creep, yeah. Cuz he doesn't know what I do. And no attention goes to show. So I creep, creep, creep." We all sing and dance.
When we finish, Cassie takes off her baggy shirt to reveal a crop top underneath. The very slight stretch marks from her pregnancy show. Jacque does the same to reveal her sports bra, showing her more visual stretch marks. The crowd gasps in a collective shock at their openness to show the marks.
"Blonder hair, flat chest. TV says, "Bigger is better." South beach, sugar free. Vogue says, "Thinner is better." Just another stage, pageant the pain away. This time I'm gonna take the crown without falling down, down, down." I sing and the girls in the audience become really quiet.
"Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatever's worst. Perfection is a disease of a nation. Pretty hurts, pretty hurts. Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatever's worst. We try to fix something but you can't fix what you can't see. It's the soul that needs the surgery." Jacque and Cassie sing the song together. Many girls in the audience start crying.
"When you're alone all by yourself. And you're lying in your bed. Reflection stares right into you. Are you happy with yourself? You stripped away the masquerade. The illusion has been shed. Are you happy with yourself? Are you happy with yourself?" I sing and the music stops as the entire stadium stops singing.
A collective "Yes!" fills the stadium and everyone starts cheering.
"If we can't accept and love ourselves, we can't possibly love another. But once you do, ladies, please don't love no scrubs." I say.
"What's a scrub?" Jacque ask as she throws a baseball jersey on.
"Well, a scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly. And is also known as a buster. Always talkin' about what he want. And just sits on his broke ass." Cassie sings then stops.
"Oh. So you saying if he can't spatially expand my horizons. Then that leaves him in a class with scrubs never risin'. So I wouldn't find it surprisin' if he didn't have the g's to please me and bounce from here to the coast of overseas. Okay, let me give y'all somethin' to think about. Inundate your mind with intentions to turn you out. Can't forget the focus on the picture in front of me. You as clear as DVD on digital TV screen. He has to satisfy my appetite with something spectacular. Check his vernacular and then I get back to him. With diamond like precision, insatiable is what I envision. Can't detect acquisition from his friend's expedition. Mr. Big Willy, if you really wanna know ask Cee Cee, could I be a silly ho? Not really, Stephanie and all my señoritas is steppin' on your filas but he don't hear me though." Jacque raps as she stands at the edge of the stage. The crowd raps with her without a beat playing.
"That's exactly what I mean, Jacque." Cassie says.
"Girls, even after y'all pass over them scrubs and get y'all a good man, he gotta say your name. Call you baby, the whole nine yards." I say. We walk behind the wall again and change the sweat-soaked crop tops for other ones.
"And if he doesn't?" Cassie asks.
"He ain't for you," I say before singing. "Say my name. Say my name. If no one ain't around you, say "Baby, I love you" if you ain't running. Say my name. Say name. If ain't nothing changed, better say my name."
Jacque and Cassie sing the chorus with me again before Cassie sings the second verse.
"Before we go, we have to let everyone know one thing." I say.
"What, Steph?" Cassie and Jacque asks as the crowd does.
"Girls, you know you'd better watch out. Some guys, some guys are only about. That thing, that thing, that thing. That thing, that thing, that thing." I sing and everyone starts going crazy.
"What about the guys?" Cassie asks and some deeper shouts are heard that make us smile.
"The second verse is dedicated to the men. More concerned with his rims and his Timbs than his women. Him and his men, come in the club like hooligans. Don't care who they offend, poppin' yang." Jacque raps.
"Like you got yen!" I roll my eyes.
"...Need to take care of they three or four kids. And they face a court case when the child support late. Money taking and heart breaking, now you wonder why women hate men...Quick to shoot the semen, stop acting like boys and be men. How you gonna win, when you ain't right within?" Jacque raps and the guys cheer.
"Girls, you know you'd better watch out. Some guys, some guys are only about. That thing, that thing, that thing. That thing, that thing, that thing. Guys, you know you'd better watch out. Cuz girls, some girls are only about. That thing, that thing, that thing. That thing, that thing, that thing." We all sing with the crowd. They cheer with the last of the music.
"It's about time we start spreading that Black Girl Magic and some Black Boy Joy. Be that change. Empower each other and we'll succeed. Not only as individuals but as a race. Thank you." I say and the lights go out. We gather our clothes that we took off as we performed and go backstage amongst the cheers, chants, and screams.
"Baby!" Johnny wraps me in his arms.
"Come on, babe. I'm all sweaty and you smell like you just hopped out of the shower." I complain but stay in his arms.
"Yeah. I don't care. We can take another one together," He smiles and I smile back. He kisses me quickly. "That had to be the best show ever."
"After watching the same show for three months, I agree," Mike says as he holds six-month-old Will in his arms. "Will said he liked it too."
We all look at Will who was smiling widely. He had two teeth at the bottom growing in.
Ralph walks up with seven-month-old RJ who has three teeth already grown in and another growing.
"Don't you just look like your daddy?" I go up to Ralph smiling at RJ. The light skin baby smiles back at me. "Little Rizzo, you look like your daddy but you sure is gon' get darker."
"No he not," Ralph holds RJ up and looks at his son intently. "I was this light when I was his age."
"Yeah and you got dark," Cassie takes RJ from Ralph. "But then Daddy got light skin again, isn't that right? RJ gon' be just like his daddy, huh? Singing and dancing? Yes he will."
RJ laughs at Cassie's funny voice causing Will to laugh. "So guess who's pregnant again?" Jacque says as the babies' laughter stops.
"Already, Mike?" Ricky playfully punches him in the arm.
Mike wraps his arms around Jacque. "What can I say? I shoot some sweet hoops." Mike kisses Jacque's cheek and she punches him.
"You ain't shooting shit. Your jumpsuit still bad," Brooke says as he walks up to us. "Congrats, Jacque. I know it's hard to keep up with Big Head over here."
We all laugh. I can't help but feel a little upset— jealous even— that both Cassie and Jacque have kids and husbands and all I have is a husband.
"Okay. I'm going to go shower. I don't really like wearing sweat." I say abruptly before walking to my dressing room. We each got our own dressing rooms for this tour to give us more privacy.
Everyone disperses after that. Johnny follows me into the room.
"What's wrong, Steph?" Johnny asks after closing the door to the small room. "And don't give me no bullshit. What's going on? What has you upset, baby?"
I just sigh as I sit down in the chair in front of the mirror. This man knows me a little too well. "I was just a little upset with Cass and Jacque and their babies. They're starting their own families. Baby fever is so contagious." I play with the makeup laying out in front of me.
"That's it?" Johnny asks. He walks up behind me, wrapping his arms around the chair and me. "Baby, we can have a baby, too. Anytime that you want. The moment we stop using a condom, we can try for one."
He kisses my cheek before moving his hands to my shoulders. He starts rubbing them. "Cass and Jacque are just growing up like they're supposed to. It's time for you to worry about you, love. They're fine. It's fine for you to be a little jealous. They don't lean on you as much as they used to. But it's okay because you can lean on me now. And I can lean on you. You can baby me as much as you want to get rid of that baby fever for right now."
"Shut up," I hit his right hand quickly. He laughs. "Thank you." I kiss his right hand and he kisses the top of my head.
"Now let's go take this shower." He rubs his hands together before pulling me out of the chair and towards the attached bathroom.
I just laugh at his eagerness and allow myself to be stripped and washed.