"Kiss me, and you will see how important I am." ~ Sylvia Plath
Published: 2/20/17 ❤
- x -
Asia has been looking at the blackboard as if it's the most interesting thing in the world. Na para bang nag-iisip ito ng malalim tungkol sa mga equations na nasa pisara when in fact wala namang laman ang utak niya.
Blanko.
Tila tumigil ang pagfufunction nito sa sobrang kaiisip kagabi ng mga pangyayari. Nagasgas na ata ang utak niya at tumatalab na ang kulang nito sa tulog. But then, bigla nalang pumasok sa isip niya ang dahilan ng zombie state niya ngayon.
She absentmindedly touched her lips.
Oh yes, she can't seem to sleep because of that freaking kiss. She can't get it off her head and it made her crazy. Mukha tuloy siyang zombie sa itsura niya with two layers of eye bags. Kaya nga suot niya ang kanyang eyeglasses ngayon. Eyeglasses without any grade. Yipee.
She remembered everything. Dati ay si Maze ang kasama niya para sabihin ang mga niloloob niya pero now how could that happen when he's now what's bothering her! Maze Oliver Sanders! Her ka-love team and the guy who kissed her last night! It wasn't her first kiss, no.. But why can't she forget about it? It's not like she likes him..
Oh gahd! Why did it went to that stage?! Bakit napunta doon ang iniisip ko?!
I like Maze? What the.. Oh no..
Talaga bang may gusto na siya sa katambal niya? That will only explain everything eh. When he kissed her, she felt like there were some fireworks around them.. Na para bang may nagrarambulang paru-paro sa tiyan niya. 'Yun bang sa lambot ng mga labi ni Maze, parang nahipnotismo siya dito at hindi na nakapag-isip ng maayos. She likes how his lips were on hers, making her lips warm.. Oh my gahd! What am I thinking?! Hindi naman ako malandi! No!
Marahas siyang napailing.
No, hindi ako malandi. So it just means one thing..
"Oh gahd!" Napasinghap siya sa napagtanto. Pero dahil sa lakas ng boses niya ay nakuha niya ang atensyon ng buong klase niya pati ang kanilang propesor. His scrutinizing eyes were again on her, making her melt on her seat. 'Yun ang nararamdaman niya sa panahong iyon.. She just wanted to melt!
"Is the L'Hopital's Rule so shocking miss de la Merced?" Taas kilay nitong tanong. Asia gulped and shook her head.
"No sir.. I'm sorry." She bit her lower lip. Strike two for her and her Calculus professor. Buti nalang talaga at hindi niya kaklase dito sina George at Lara kundi uulanan na naman siya ng tukso nito. Ayaw pa naman niyang may makaalam ng nangyari kagabi sa kotse! No way! It was way too embarrassing para ipaalam and she even can't believe it totally happened. She can't believe he actually told her those words to her. And she can't believe how messed up her head is right now because of that one kiss. Arrrggg!!!
Pesting kiss kasing 'yan!
- x -
Asia went to her gym after school. Hindi muna siya umattend ng rehearsal sa pageant for two reasons. Una, dahil iniiwasan niya si Maze. Pangalawa, dahil iniiwasan niya si Maze. Yes, iyon nga ang kanyang mga dahilan. Hindi pa siya nakakapag-isip ng maayos at hanggang hindi pa siya nalilinawan sa kung anong nararamdaman niya, she won't talk to any of those guys!
She needs an alone time this time. Ugh. Dumagdag pa kasi si Maze sa mga iniisip siya. But then again.. Matagal na niyang iniisip ito.. She was just oblivious of it. Or at least thinking nothing about it in that way.
She went to the locker room and changed outfit. She wore a black with pink neon sports bra and plain black workout shorts. Nagsuot rin siya ng Nike shoes to complete her workout attire. She went to the treadmill and started running. Being a cheerleader, she needs to be fit kaya madalas rin siya sa gym. Kung ayaw niya sa playground ay dito siya nagpapapawis. Kaso maraming epal na lalaki dito kaya minsan rin ay mas gusto niya doon sa playground. But fortunately today ay wala namang lumapit sa kanya. She just kept on running with earphones on her ears. Music also calms her down pero hindi niya inasahan ang sumunod na kanta sa kanyang playlist.
Love is real
It is not just in novels or the movies
It is fact and it is standing here
Right in front of you
So if you just open your eyes
Oh, what a sweet discovery
There is hope and there is joy
And there is acceptance
So let all the light that collects on your plants
Keep you warm, make you smile
And I will be there with this pen in my hand
To record all the while
You'll be laughing so loud
That the house would shake with sound
And everything will be as new
As the day it was found
Oh, love is real
It is not just in long distance commercials
Or something that you thought you felt
Back in high school
So I will turn black and white
Become that horoscope you're reading
It predicts that something good is on its way
Oh and I'll send you all the world
Green and blue in a box through the mail
You can open it up
Hold it right in your hand
And be glad that it's there
And be glad that you're there
Now you can feel all the knots in your stomach
They start to untie
And suddenly it's not so hard to say you're alright
Oh, love is real
It is not just in poetry or stories
It is truth and it will follow you
Everywhere you go from now on
So if you just cast off your doubts
Then your lips would answer for you
Oh, my darlin', when you smile
It is like a song
And I can hear it now
And I can hear it now
I can hear it now
I can hear it now
And I can hear it now
I can hear it now
I can hear it now
I can hear it now
Hindi niya alam kung nagkataon lang ba o nananadya talaga ang tadhana. But then tila napaisip na naman siya dahil sa kanyang iyon at umulit ang isang lyrics nito sa kanyang utak.
Love is real.. It is not just in novels or the movies.. It is fact and it is standing here right in front of you.
And specially this..
So if you just cast off your doubts.. Then your lips would answer for you.
It reminds her again of that kiss.. That kiss with Maze. No, hindi ito tulad ng naramdaman niya sa halik ni Jiro sa kanya noon. It was.. different. In what way? Well, in all possible way. Now that she think of it.. Maze's kiss.. It gave her more intense feelings she have never felt before. Kaya nga siya nababaliw ngayon sa kakaisip!
Itinigil niya ang pagtakbo at gumilid bago uminom ng tubig sa kanyang water bottle. Huminga siya ng malalim saka inalis ang earphones sa tenga niya. Kinuha niya ang kanyang towel at nagpunas ng pawis sa mukha. Pero natigilan siya ng may nakitang pamilyar na lalaki sa kabilang dulo ng gym.
Jiro..
Kararating lang nito at mukhang mag-eexercise rin. Wait, don't tell me na dito pa rin siya magmemember? Dito kasi si Asia nagmember dahil na rin kay Jiro dahil dito ito noon miyembro. Hindi lang naisip ni Asia na babalik pala iyon dito. But seeing him now brought back in her memory what he told her that night they met in that café.
"I'm sorry Gabby.. I didn't mean to hurt you.. I didn't intend to leave you.."
Tumigas ang tingin ni Asia sa kanya. How could he say that to her when she saw them herself!
"You didn't intend to hurt me? Really now, Jiro?" Now his name sounds bitter on her lips. "Nahuli ko kayo mismo ng 'pinsan' mo na naghahalikan! Tapos hinintay kitang habulin ako! Pero ano? Umalis ka! You went to China without even telling me at kasama pa ang babaeng 'yun. Oh yes, may sinabi ka rin pala.. 'Sorry'. Oh I guess sapat na 'yun para sa sakit na naramdaman ko noon! Ang sama mo! How could you be so heartless?!"
Nag-aalab sa galit si Asia. Yes, she was still hurting. Or maybe it's her little ego talking. Ikaw ba naman ang saktan at ipagpalit sa iba tapos basta-bastang iiwanan ng ganun-ganun lang tapos sorry lang ang kaya nitong sabihin. Of course she's mad! He crushed her heart just when she had fallen for him deep. Sinayang niya lang ang pagmamahal niya dito. Kaya hindi na nagulat si Jiro sa naging reaksyon nito. He knows he was a jerk back then. But then he has no choice but be one.
"Ish, please calm down. You're making a scene here. Baka paalisin tayo." Sita sa kanya ng kapatid niya. Asia got back to her senses and composed herself. Buti nalang at may mesang nasa pagitan nila kundi baka nasampal na niya ang dating nobyo. Iyon ang matagal na niyang gustong gawin eh. Kung pwede lang sanang ipaship ang sampal ay ginawa na niya.
"He's here to explain everything, Ish. Please have an open mind. He has his reason for leaving you. What he said is true." Sinamaan niya ng tingin ang kapatid.
"You knew?!"
He sighed and nodded. What the hell?! So all this time her brother knew and there she was crying her heart out like a freaking lost puppy?!
"Before she flew to China, kinausap niya ako Ish. Of course, best friend ko siya kaya ng malaman ko ang ginawa niya sa'yo, after I fetched you crying in that playground, I went to his house and punched him." Nanlaki ng bahagya ang mga mata ni Asia. Oh gosh! She didn't know about that! Sana pala andun siya para nakita niya. "Syempre ayokong nasasaktan ang kapatid ko and I warned him before ng gusto ka palang niyang ligawan na ayokong saktan ka niya. But then that.. So yeah, I made his nose bleed. But after that, he told me he has a reason and I let him explain and I understood. I'm sorry Ish.. I just wanna protect you."
Naguguluhan si Asia sa sinabi ng kapatid.
"Protect? Why protect me?" She looked at Jiro to explain everything. And then she got her answers.
"Meifen Zháng, that's her name."
"Ah, and I care about your girl's name because?" Sarkastikong tanong ni Asia. Her brother shook his head feeling hopeless while Jiro held his serious face, unshaken by her actions. Asia can be a brat sometimes at sa sobrang inis niya sa kanyang ex ay lumabas ito.
"No, she's not my girl and never will be. It was always you, Gabby." Sabi nito ng puno ng pagsusumamo. Lalong naasar si Asia sa sinabi nito pati pagtawag sa kanya ng dating nickname niya and she gritted her teeth.
Napupuno na ko dito.
"Just cut the crap, Jiro and just get to the point." Habang nakakapagtimpi pa ko.
Bakas ang iritasyon sa kanyang boses and her brother knew na anytime ay sasabog na sa galit ang kapatid. Somehow he understand her kaya hindi nalang siya sumabat unlike kanina. She needs to know the truth.
He sighed.
"Okay. Si Meifen, she was my fiancé." Nalaglag ang panga ni Asia pero agad rin niyang isinara. Fiancé agad?! But we were just students! But then, napaisip ulit siya.. Was?
"Way before I met you, our grandparents already arranged us to be married. You know, Chinese to Chinese thing. The Zhang's and our family had a deal that when we reach our 18th birthday, their deal would be official. Of course I object about that stupid agreement because of you. Noong una, hindi ko lang sineryoso but then when I met you, I told mom na hindi ako papayag na ipakasal sa iba. Na may girlfriend na ako at ikaw lang ang gusto ko. Naawa ang mama ko saakin and told me that she will try to do something and that I should not to tell that to grandma for now. Sabi niya na baka raw atakihin ito sa puso kaya sinunod ko siya. So I continued courting you and eventually ay naging tayo."
Napatulala lamang si Asia habang nakikinig kay Jiro. She never thought he was engaged to someone when they became a couple. And somehow ay naawa siya sa dating kasintahan dahil pinipilit siya ng sariling pamilya nito sa bagay na ayaw nitong gawin. He never told her any of those.
"But Meifen.." He started looking irritated. "Before my 18th birthday, nagkita kami. It was a family dinner with their family at hindi ko alam na hindi pa pala off ang deal. Ng tiningnan ko ang mama ko, all she gave me as an apologetic look. Looks like she doesn't have the guts to tell grandma about it. Nag-aalala rin ako sa kundisyon ni grandma kaya hindi na muna ako nagsalita kahit kating kati na akong kausapin siya. I can defy their commands if it comes to you, Asia. Pero hindi ko rin kakayanin kung may mangyaring masama kay grandma ng dahil saakin. Ang laki kasi ng ngiti niya ng gabing iyon and I don't want to make a scene that will make the Zhang family hate us. Our family's reputation is very important to us and you know that, Gabby. But my grandma, she's the heart of the family as well."
Yes, alam ito ni Asia dahil minsan na ring naikwento ito sa kanya ni Jiro. Chinese people, lalo na ang angkan ng mga may matataas na pangalan, ay iniisip ang reputasyon ng kanilang pamilya kaysa sa kahit ano. Kaya nga hindi makaangal ang ina nito sa kanilang naturang head of the family dahil nirerespeto nila at takot din dito. And he also told her how he loves his grandma kahit pa naoakamanipulative nito. She just wants the best for her family.
"That night, Meifen and I were introduced and saw each other for the first time. Sinabi niya rin sa'kin that night mismo na gusto niya ako at excited na siya sa kasal namin. I told her na may girlfriend na ako and I don't agree with the arrangement at inakala ko nga na magwawala siya. Sabi kasi ng pinsan kong babae, maldita raw ang babaeng 'yun at masyadong brat. But then she just smiled at me and said, okay. Alam kong may kakaiba sa ngiti niyang 'yun but then I didn't care kaya hindi ko nalang pinansin pa. One day sa mall, nagkapang-abot tayo and I was with her. Ipinakilala ko siya as pinsan ko dahil ayokong iba ang isipin mo lalo pa at nakalingkis siya sa braso ko. Believe me Asia but she just can't get her hands off me kaya hinayaan ko nalang. At least sinakyan niya ako bilang pinsan niya. But then, may iba pala siyang binabalak."
Tiningnan siya ni Jiro gamit ang mukha nitong puno ng guilt at paghihinayang. Parang alam na ni Asia ang susunod nitong sasabihin. At tama nga siya.
"That day, during our monthsary.. I was planning a surprise for you and it was all in the plan to not greet you first thing in the morning. Gusto ko kasing.. Well, masurprise ka talaga. But then Meifen came to my condo just when I was finished talking to Peter, na kinutsaba ko sa surprise ko. Hindi niya ako tinantanan. She told me na isusumbong niya ako kay grandma kapag umalis ako. Hindi ko rin mahanap ang cellphone ko that time kaya inis na inis ako. 'Yun pala.. She told you to come to a restaurant para pagmukhain kang tanga. And then she also anticipated na pupuntahan mo ako sa condo ko at narinig ko siyang may kausap sa telepono at sinabing may paparating. I asked her who but then she just smirked at me. Few moments later, we heard my door creaked open and then the next thing I knew, she grabbed my nape and kissed me. Iyon ang naabutan mo, Asia. I didn't kiss her. She kissed me. And no, I don't love that conniving bítch. Ikaw lang ang mahal ko, Asia. I still love you. I left dahil ayokong madamay ka pa knowing what that girl can do. I'm sorry."
Asia was lost in thought from his confession. She can't believe it. Nagawa siyang pagsinungalingan ni Jiro para sa kapakanan niya at dahil naipit ito sa isang sitwasyong mahirap makawala. All those times, she planted anger in her heart towards Jiro. Na isa itong manloloko at walang kwentang tao. Hindi niya lang alam na ito ang pinakamabait na taong nakilala niya for sacrificing himself for her. It's her safety that mattered to him more than her happiness. Their happiness. And she doesn't know what to think anymore.
Yes, nawala na ang galit sa puso niya. Pero mahal niya pa kaya siya? O awa at paghihinayang lang ang nararamdaman niya?
Jiro was smiling now with a sexy girl in fitted top and cycling shorts. Dati ang selosa niya sa dating kasintahan. May makita lang siyang ngumingiti dito ay tumataas na ang presyon niya. Kaya nga siguro ipinakilala ni Jiro 'yung Meifen sa kanya bilang pinsan noon. Alangan naman kasing bilang fiancé kuno eh magkakaworld war 3 lang doon sa mall. Now she understand him fully.
But how come she doesn't feel aything now that she is seeing him with that sexy girl? Ito na ba ang sagot sa tanong niya? Wala na ba talaga siyang nararamdaman para sa kanyang ex?
A smile curved on her lips. They sure had many great memories together. Two years with him was pure bliss. Pero baka nga hindi sila ang isa't isa. Kahit nakawala na ngayon ang ex sa fixed marriage na inilaan sa kanya at kahit pa sinabi nitong mahal pa niya ito, wala siyang maramdaman na excitement and even the idea na magkabalikan sila. Dati naiisip niya si Jiro na kasama sa pagtupad ng pangarap niya. Pero ngayon.. Iba na ang nasa isip niya.
Ipinilig niya ang kanyang ulo. Why is she seeing Maze's face beside her?! It must be because of the kiss. Tama nga, hay. Maybe I should clear things out for him too.
"I love you Gigi. I don't know when it started but.. I am madly crazy in love with you. For real."
She felt something in her stomach but then it disappeared just when she heard that familiar deep voice behind her.
"Gabby.." Halos mapatalon siya sa gulat saka umikot at hinarap si Jiro.
I like Gigi better than Gabby. Hala. Bakit ba ganito ang mga iniisip ni Asia? She just compared the nicknames for her nina Maze at Jiro! And she likes Maze's!
"A-Ah.. Jiro. Ginulat mo naman ako." He smiled at her. Dati panay ang kilig niya sa tuwing ngumingiti ito pero ngayon.. She just feel okay. Na natutuwa lamang siya at nakikita na niyang nakangiti ito unlike the last time they talked.
"I don't know, Jiro. I need some time to think."
That was her parting words ng tanungin siya nito kung mahal pa ba niya ang binata. She actually doesn't know the answer to that that night. Dahil na rin siguro sa shock mula sa mga nalaman. But now, standing in front of him, with a clear mind and everything in the past now unveiled.. She knows the answer to his question.
"Oh, sorry for that. Mukhang malalim ang iniisip mo eh. So, have you already thought about my question that night?" Nawala ang ngiti nito at bakas na ang kaba sa sistema. His chinky eyes has always been the death of her lalo na kung ngumingiti ito at halos guhit nalang ang nakikita. Kapag naman nalulungkot ito, she can't help but feel her chest tighten. But now, wala. Wala na siyang ganong nararamdaman. Looks like she had finally moved on! And so she needs to answer him now para hindi na ito masyadong masaktan pa.
"What you told me that night, your revelations.. About your family, the arrangement, that girl, the lies.. It was all like a dream to me, honestly. I mean, noong tayo pa, I never noticed how much baggage you were carrying. Palagi ka kasing nakangiti at parang walang pasan sa dibdib mo. Your smile always hide the pain in your chest. Kaya ng nalaman ko ang totoo, all the pain from yesterday vanished just like that. I forgive you, Jiro. Hindi mo naman ginusto ang lahat. Biktima ka lang ng mga pangyayari. We were both victims of it. And.. thank you for everything. For your sacrifices, and.. for loving me." Hinawakan niya ang kamay ni Jiro and looked him in the eyes. She can see fear and confusion in them but she has to do it. For them to be free finally.
"You're a great guy, Jiro. Any girl would be so lucky to have you." Sabi niya. Bigla niyang naalala si Maze at ang sagot nito sa sinabi. She bit her lower lip. "But sorry, I am not that girl anymore. You asked me if I still love you.. And after all that I uncovered and after accessing this.." Sabay lagay niya ng kamay sa tapat ng kanyang puso. "I realized that what I feel towards you isn't the same anymore. You will always be a part of my heart, Jiro. You will always be. I am really sorry."
Tila maiiyak na si Jiro sa narinig sa kanya but he held it in. Hindi niya hinayaang my pumatak na kahit isang kuha sa mga mata niya because he doesn't want Asia to feel more guilty than she already feels. Instead, he nodded and tried to smile.. But then it turned to a crooked one. Masakit pero kakayanin niya for Asia.
"I understand." May bahid na kalungkutan sa boses nito. He held her hand and pressed them lightly. Inaamin ni Asia na nasasaktan rin siya para sa kanyang ex pero there's nothing she can do. Ito ang sabi ng puso niya at hindi naman niya pwedeng pilitin ang kanyang pusong umibig sa kanya muli.
Ang sabi nga. Hindi natuturuan ang puso. Kusa itong tumitibok at kapag nangyari na iyon, wala ng atrasan pa. Face it or you'll regret it.
"But can I ask something?" Bakas ang pagtataka sa malamlam nitong mga mata.
"Hm?"
"Is it because of him?" Asia mirrored his reaction. Sinong him? Pero nagkaideya na siya dahil nga sikat silang dalawa hindi lang sa school nila. "That guy in the café. I figured he amis being linked to you. Do you love him?"
Tila naputulan ng dila si Asia sa tanong ni Jiro. What kind of question is that?! She wasn't expecting that at all. At kahit gustuhin niya mang sagutin ang ex ay pati siya ay hindi alam ang sagot.
Tumungo siya.
"I don't know." Sabi niya sa mahinang boses. Oh gosh, she just admitted she's confused. Yes, she knows she likes Maze.. But love?? Isn't that too much? Love agad? Can she possibly fall in love while trying to move on?
Posible ba 'yun?
Jiro lifted her chin up and their gaze locked. He smiled timidly at her. He's hurt because he already knows the answer just by looking at her eyes. Hindi na rin ito ang klase ng tingin na binibigay sa kanya noon ng dating nobya. Wala na talaga. It hurts like hell but then.. It's not her fault she fell out of love. It's partly his fault as well. If only I did something else..
But it's too late for what if's. He's too late to bring her back. Dahil mukhang iba na ang may nagmamay-ari dito.
Sabi nga sa kanta.. Loving is not owning. He should let her go. If that's what makes her happy then what can he do but be happy for her. Hanggang sa huli, siya na naman ang magsasakripisyo.
I guess we are meant to meet people for a reason but aren't meant to stay in our lives forever.
And he will surely find that reason.
- x -
"Ayy! Sorry girl."
Nagliparan ang mga papeles na hawak ni Asia dahil may nakabangga siya.
"That's okay." Sabi nito sa nakabangga ng hindi ito tinitingnan dahil agad niyang pinulot ang mga papers na kailangan niyang papirmahan para sa open audition for her cheering squad later in the afternoon.
Hindi kasi pala agad naasikaso ng kanyang Vice dahil nagkasakit ito at nakalimutan. So now, siya na mismo ang nag-asikaso para masigurado na. Hay! Sakit sa ulo! Ganyan na siguro talaga kapag lider ka ng isang organisasyon. You have to be more patient with your members kundi sasabog ka sa sobrang stress.
Surprisingly, tinulungan naman siya ng nakabangga at ibinigay sa kanya ang ilang documents na ipinagpasalamat naman niya.
"OMG! Aren't you Asia de la Merced? The cheercaptain of Green Blazing Cavalry?"
She looked at the girl and smiled. Mukhang hindi pa siya kilala nito. Maybe she's a transferee. Ngayon lang din kasi niya nakita ito. But she can say she's pretty. Hindi lang siya fan ng pananamit nito. Nakasleeveless lang naman kasi at maiksing shorts. Wala kasing uniform sa school nila at hindi rin strict sa dress code so girls can wear clothes like that na pinakaayaw ni Asia. But then what can she do? Cheercaptain lang siya at hindi Student Council President. Though kilala naman siya ng presidente, ayaw niyang pumapel dahil lang sikat siya and all that.
But this girl seems nice. And she looks Chinese dahil sa singkit na mga mata nito. And she reminds her of someone na habangbuhay nang magiging parte ng kanyang nakaraan.
"Yes that's me." Nanlaki ang mga mata ng babae at halos tumalon sa tuwa.
"Oh my it's really you! I'm sorry. I'm Lexy Chiu, I'm a transferee here. Lexy is my English name. And oh, it's a pleasure meeting you! Kasali kasi ako sa mag-auaudition mamaya for the squad. Way back in my school in China, I am one of the best cheerleaders. So I hope we could be friends." She offered her hand to shake and Asia looked at it.
Hindi niya alam pero ever since than Meifen girl, she had this doubt in Chinese girls na. Na para bang hindi ito mapagkakatiwalaan. Even si Kim Chiu na kaapelyido pa ng babaeng nasa harap ay pinag-iisipan na niya ng iba! Gahds! And this Lexy.. Parang nayayabangan naman siya. But then again, she doesn't like to be judgemental kaya tinanggap niya ang kamay nito at ngumiti. Lexy smiled but then again.. She can't really convince herself it was a genuine one.
Hay, blame that Meifen girl!
-
"Arrgg!" Inis na napaupo si Maze sa may court ng hindi na naman nakashoot ang tira nito. He has been playing hoops for half an hour now but not even one went in. Puro sablay.
Pano naman kasi, masyado siyang naaapektuhan ng mga pinaggagagawa niya the other night. He kissed Asia and told her he loves her! He wasn't thinking straight! Kaya hindi niya masisisi ang dalaga kung bakit siya nito iniiwasan. Syempre nahalata niya 'yun. They used to see each other every after Math class dahil pareho lang sila ng building at floor pero hindi niya ito nakita kanina. Pati noong lunch, wala ito sa caf. Then hindi rin umattend ng rehearsal sa pageant kaya bakit pa ba siya aattend doon? Instead, he went here sa court at nagpakapagod lamang.
"You're so stupid, Maze! So stupid! Ugh!" Napahiga na siya sa court. He saw Asia's face again in his head. Her reaction when he told her he loves her. And then naalala niya ang ex nito.
She still loves him. Dαmn, why didn't I think of that? Shít! That was a wrong move!
Inis siyang napahampas sa sahig at itinakip ang likod ng mga kamay sa mga mata niya. He regrets what he did. Dαmn, he just dug his own grave. Now she can't see Asia. Okay naman sana kahit hindi nito alam ang totoong nararamdaman niya sa dalaga. Basta ba nakikita at nakakasama niya ito araw-araw. Ganyan niya kamahal si Asia. And yes, what he told her was true. Isang araw paggising niya nalang, ang mukha ni Asia ang una niyang naisip and he knew back then that he has fallen for her for real. At alam niyang dalawa lamang ang kahahantungan ng nararamdaman niya..
The reality of their love team or the fall of the ship MaSia.
Either way, handa siyang harapin. Iyon ang nasa isip niya bago siya umamin. But now that she was avoiding her.. Hindi niya pala kaya. Mas mabuti pang wala itong alam at nakakasama niya kesa alam nga pero nilalayuan naman siya.
Dαmn. Ganito pala ang magmahal. Ang hirap.
"Woah, bro.. May hangover ka ba?"
"May mop sa gilid, Maze. Hindi mo kailangang maging human mop."
He heard his teammates came and he groaned. Takte, panay asar na naman ang matatanggap niya mula dito.
- x -
"Ilan ba ang mag-aaudition, captain?"
Papunta na sina Asia sa gym kung saan gaganapin ang audition. Right after their classes ay nagkita-kita sila ng mga kasama sa panel of judges.
"We have 10 as of today. Six freshies and four sophomores." Sagot niya sa kanyang kaofficer na si Jayne na kasali sa panel. Hindi na sila kumukuha sa juniors at seniors dahil mas matagal sa team, the better. Sumasali rin kasi sila sa mga interschool competitions and they must undergo intense training. Hindi rin kasi biro ang grupo nila. Besides, they won just last year ng siya ang napiling bagong captain kahit junior pa lamang siya and they intend to be back to back champion. Asia will make sure of that.
Hanggang sa oras na 'yun ay hindi pa rin nakikita ni Asia si Maze. Iba rin kasi ang buildings nito sa araw at wala ring practice for the pageant since pareho silang busy.
"Miss Val can't come. Her son is sick kaya ipasa nalang raw natin sa kanya bukas ang mga ipapasok natin." Sabi ni Asia and everyone nodded. Miss Valerie is their coach and moderator.
"Hay bessy, sana naman may magagaling na flyers tayong makuha. I'm sure mananalo tayo sa NPSC this year!" Sabi ni Lara.
Kasali siya sa jurors dahil sekretarya niya ito. Her Vice? Si George lang naman na nagkasakit nga at nakalimutan na ang pinapagawa niya. Now he's till recovering at absent, much to her relief, dahil siguradong mapapansin nun na iniiwasan nga niya si Maze at hindi yun titigil sa kakatanong.
And now that she mentioned it, she's thinking of Maze again. Kumusta na kaya yun? Nasaktan ko ba siya? Halos pukpukin niya ang ulo niya because of that stupid question. Of course she did! Wala ba namang nasabi matapos magconfess ng tao.. Alangan namang matuwa 'yun?
Ugh! Minsan talaga ang shunga ko!
But what can she do? Kulang pa ang sabihing nagulat siya sa biglaang paghalik nito sa kanya at ang pag-aming mahal pala niya ito. Na ang lahat ng pinapakita niya ay hindi lang for show but it was actually real. Hindi niya man lang naramdaman na in love na pala sa kanya ang katambal! And since when? Kailan pa? Like OMG nga sabi ni Lara. Dahil pati siya ay nagustuhan na rin niya si Maze. But love? She still doesn't know. Comparing it to what she felt to Jiro noon..
I don't know.. Malabo pa talaga.
"Ha? Anong malabo?" Jayne asked her.
"Malabo na ba mata mo bessy?" Asked Lara. She immediately shook her head and continued walking.
They reached the huge gym and they were welcome by some of their members. For moral support raw and also as an audience for the auditionees. Kailangan rin kasi iyon to see who have the guts to perform in front of an audience na hindi ganoong kaapektado. They perform in super huge crowds kaya kasali na iyon sa job description nila kumbaga. Kaya nga ang ibang walang buntot ay umaatras. Lalo na kapag makakasama mo ang mga beteran ng mga cheerers lalo na si Asia. She's that huge of a name!
They continued walking towards inside the gym with the girls walking around her.
"Half court lang tayo. Nasa kabilang court ang basketball varsity. They're warming up." Her teammate flashed an evil grin. Kinilig naman ang ilan sa kanila at tumili ng mahina. Paano, warmup means shirtless.. abs.. muscles.. sweat.. Hay nako.. Mga babaeng 'to talaga.
But then doon niya lang narealize ang sinabi ng kanyang kateammate.
Basketball varsity? So it means..
She saw him. But then her stomach dropped when she saw him.. with her.
"Hala! Di ba yun yung magauaudition satin?"
"Oh my gosh hindi niya pa siguro alam na para kay Asia si Maze."
"Oo nga eh. Balita ko galing China 'yan. Idisqualify na kaya natin?"
"Akala ko ba mabait 'yun? Sabi ni Tess sa'kin kanina eh. Nasa loob pala ang kulo."
"Looks can be deceiving nga. Made in China pala talaga.. Fake!"
Hindi niya man gusto ang naririnig sa mga kagrupo but then looking at them kasi, may basehan sila. Lexy is smiling broadly at him while playfully hitting his biceps. Tapos napakaiksi pa ng suot nitong cycling shorts at fit na fit pa ang tshirt nitong bakat na bakat ang malaki nitong hinaharap. Laking pasasalamat nalang ni Asia na nakajersey si Maze but then how could he smile back at her?! He only smile like that to her! Kay Asia lang!
Naalala niya bigla si Meifen sa katauhan ni Lexy. Inagaw nung Meifen sa kanya si Jiro and now this Lexy is trying to steal Maze away from her!
No! Akin si Maze! He's mine the moment he kissed me!
"Asia?!"
"Captain! Hala susugurin niya 'yung hitad!"
"Hayaan niyo siya, go captain! Go fight win!"
Hindi niya naintindihan ang mga sigaw ng kateam niya dahil nasa isip niya lang ay bawiin si Maze sa sawang lumilingkis sa pag-aari niya! She can't even think straight right now. Basta gusto niya lang makapatay ng sawa.
Mabilis niyang narating ang kabilang court, oblivious of the curious and shocked looks from the basketball team. Ni hindi nga niya alam kung ano ba ang itsura niya at tila dumidilim na ang paningin niya ng makitang pinisil ng Lexy ang pisngi ni Maze. Oh hell no.. Si Asia lang ang gumagawa 'nun kay Maze. Siya lang. Simula ng itambal sila, every girl in their university backed off when it comes to Maze. They know their place. But this girl in front of her.. Siguro ay ituturo niya ang tamang kalalagyan niya hindi lang sa unibersidad nito pero pagdating rin kay Maze.
She stopped when she was only two rulers away from them. Pareho sila napatingin sa kanya habang nasa pisngi pa ni Maze ang kamay ni Lexy and she saw how Maze froze in place and his eyes widen. Si Lexy naman, lalo lang ngumiti pero alam niyang peke lang iyon.
"Hi, sorry to interrupt your moment but.. Aren't you gonna audition for us miss Chiu? Siguro naman hindi naman kalakihan itong gym para magkamali ka kung saan ang half court na pagdarausan ng audition?" Said Asia. Her voice sounds strict and authoritative.
"Oohh.." Rinig niyang bulungan ng mga players na nanonood sa kanila.
Maze was speechless. He have never seen Asia this serious. And he also can't believe na nakikita na niya ito.. She's right in front of her! Pero bakit parang galit ito? Galit pa rin ba ito sa kanya? Ano bang maaari niyang gawin para ibalik sila sa dati? Hay.
"Oh, miss captain.. Nakikipagkwentuhan lang naman ako dito kay Maze. Wala pa kasing tao doon sa kabila kanina so I made friends with them.. Most especially with Maze." Sabi ni Lexy ng may ngiti at lalo itong lumawak ng tumingin kay Maze. Si Maze naman, sa kanya lang nakatingin na ipinagtaka ni Lexy. Hindi ata nagustuhan nito na sa iba ito nakatingin at hindi sa kanya. Asia tried not to mind his stare though. Not yet. She has to teach this bítch a lesson.
"Oh, so you're friends now? Agad-agad?" May halong pangungutyang saad ni Asia. Kasi naman kakikita niya palang dito tapos feeling close na agad at sasabihin pang friends na sila!
Nainis na si Lexy dahil sa tono ng pananalita ni Asia. Hindi na niya napigilan ang sarili at itinaas nito ang kanyang kilay sabay hinarap si Asia ng lubusan.
"Yes, we're friends for now.. But then eventually.. We will be a couple. Bagay kami 'di ba captain?" Tila may panghahamon sa boses nito. Lalong lumakas ang mga usapan ng players. Pati nga ang squad ay napunta na rin sa side na yun ng court. Napangiti si Asia sa nakita't narinig mula sa babaeng Santa Santita. Finally inilabas na rin nito ang totoong ugali. She have finally showed her horns.
She knew it. This girl is hiding something. She just want to get on Asia's good side para makapasok sa squad. She tried being nice para makuha ang loob ng mga tao. Para sumikat. Para palitan si Asia as the most popular girl in JDU. But then this bítch won't even match Asia. Wala siya sa magagandang kuko ng dalaga. Akala ba niya madaling mauto ang isang Asia Gabriella dela Merced? Oh please..
"I don't know. Why not we ask them instead?" Sabay turo niya sa JDU basketball team at squad. "Bagay ba sila ni Maze?" Pasigaw niyang tanong.
"Hindi!"
"No way!"
"MaSia for the win!"
She glanced at Lexy and saw her forehead creased. Halos matawa siya pero hindi pa siya tapos.
"How about me? Bagay ba kami ni Maze?"
"YES!!!"
"MaSia! MaSia! MaSia!" They all chanted sa pangunguna ni Lara. Kumawala ang malapad na ngiti kay Asia bago hinarap ang inis na inis na chinita.
"So does that answer your question?"
Tiningnan siya ng matalim ni Lexy. Hindi naman siya nasindak. What's to be afraid of? Isa lamang itong babaeng made in China. Bukod sa peke, isa pang peste. She would destroy others so she could rise on top. Kaya aalisin na niya ang peste bago pa makapinsala.
"And oh, one more thing. We don't want any pest in our group so you are free to leave now miss Chiu. You are simply not qualified. I'm sorry." Asia faked a frown that made her angrier than ever. Tsk tsk. Poor thing.
She stormed off the gymnasium. Alam ni Asia na gusto siyang nitong supalpalin pero hindi niya nagawa dahil sa dami ng mga matang nanonood. Handa rin ang mga cellphones nila to capture her if ever she dare try to do something she'll regret afterwards.
The two teams cheered na para bang nanalo sa isang competition. Naiiling si Asia na natatawa. Feeling niya tuloy nasa shooting siya ng isang telenobela. Panay na naman ang cheer nila ng kanilang ship name. And when she looked at Maze.. Uh-oh. Parang bumalik ang kaluluwa niya sa kanya. Para siyang sinampal ng realidad.
What have I just done?!
"Ah guys, let's give them space. Leggo!"
Sunod sunod na nga silang umalis sa pangunguna na naman ni Lara. That only made Asia's heart beat faster and her mind went crazier. She's now face to face with him but she don't even know what to say!
But then Maze beats her. Nasasalamin ang kalungkutan at pagsisisi dito. And she asked herself why.
"I'm sorry." Ang lumabas sa bibig ni Maze na hindi inaasahan ni Asia. What is he asking sorry for?
Tila nahihirapan si Maze and that look kills Asia inside. Ayaw niyang nakikitang ganito si Maze. She only wanna see his smiles. But how?
"Sorry.. For what?"
"Sorry for.. kissing you without your consent that night. For telling you I.." He sighed. "That I love you."
Napaiwas si Asia ng tingin dahil sa naalala. It was still crystal clear in her mind how he made her feel with that kiss. So sweet, so gentle and innocent kiss. It was nothing she felt before. And it seems like because of that kiss.. Nabuksan ang puso at isipan niya sa kung ano ba si Maze sa kanya.
She likes him, yes. And just right now. She got jealous! And seeing Maze right now, looking hurt.. made her feel twice the pain. Ito na ata ang sagot sa tanong niya. Once again, just by looking at him.. She knows the answer. And now she's ready to admit it to herself.. and to him.
But then parang nawala na parang bula ang mga sasabihin niya dahil sa sinabi ni Maze.
"I never should've done that. I should've kept my feelings to myself, Gigi. I just.. I just can't last a day without seeing you. Without hearing your voice. Gahd! My system was already invaded by you. And seeing you hurt is the last thing I wanna see. I love you so much, Gigi that I have the heart to let you go. I am letting you go, as someone I love. I won't ever bother you about how I feel for you. Let's pretend it never happened. Or if you want, lalayuan nalang kita. But please, don't walk away from me. I still.. wanna see you. Please give me time to move on. I will.. try my best to finally forget about you."
Ano bang pinagsasabi niya? He just told her he loves her and now this?!
"NO!" A tear fell from Asia's eye. And another.. Nasaktan siya sa narinig kay Maze. So susuko na siya? Ganon? Ganon nalang 'yun matapos niyang guluhin ang puso't isipan ni Asia?! "No.. Don't forget about me M-Maze.." Sumisikip ang dibdib niya maisip palang iyon.
Naguguluhan siyang tiningnan ni Maze.
"But.. That's the only way I can move on Gigi. It hurts. It freaking hurts, and I just wanna help myself get rid of the pain Gigi. I'm sorry.." His voice cracked at tila naiiyak na rin.
"But you said you love me!" Pag-angal ni Asia. "Bakit ka magmomove-on? Ha? Ganon ka ba magmahal? Kapag mahal mo ipaglaban mo!" Tila naguguluhan nitong tanong.
"But.. I thought you love him? Your ex.. Nakita ko kayo sa CRX Gym kahapon. i was supposed to talk with you but then I saw you two.. Ano bang laban ko sa ex mo eh mahal mo pa siya at.. nagkabalikan na kayo?"
Napatigalgal si Asia sa sinabi nito. What the hell was he talking about? And he was there at the gym and saw..
And just like being struck by lightning.. she knew why.
Jiro..
Natatawa niyang pinahid ang mga luha sa kanyang pisngi.
"Maze Oliver Sanders.. Don't you know the saying, Maraming namamatay sa maling akala?" Napailing siya saka lalong lumapit dito. Maze was still looking confused na lalong nakapacute sa kanya sa mata ni Asia.
Asia looked him in the eyes. Those gray orbs just make her melt everytime. Ito pala ang dahilan. Kaya siya nakakaramdam ng mga bagay na noon ay naramdaman niya na pero mas malala nga lang ngayon kaya siya natatakot sa kung ano man ito.
She was scared to acknowledge it because of the pain she felt from her first hearbreak. Ayaw na nyang masaktan. But what can she do when love just can't stop bugging her? Lalo pa at nalaman niyang mahal rin siya ng taong iyon. She was confused before but now.. after all the lies and trouble.. She finally had the courage to face it. To face love himself.. And so now that she's standing right in front of him.. Asking to break free from her because of false witness.. Hahayaan ba niya?
Hell no.
What Asia Gabriella De la Merced wants, she gets!
"Oh Maze.. I didn't get back with Jiro. I ended things with him. Kahit nalaman ko na ang dahilan ng ginawa niya and that he didn't mean to hurt me and just did that for my sake, I couldn't find myself being in love with him the way I did before. Hindi ko na siya mahal." Hinawakan ko ang mga kamay niyang nanlalamig na. I pressed them tightly and looked straight in his eyes.
"Dahil iba na ang mahal ko. And he's standing right in front of me." I smiled with teary eyes. Here goes nothing. "I love you too, Maze. And it's for real this time." Yes, for real na dahil they were once part of a play na may part na nagsabihan sila ng I love you.
Now it's for real. They are in-love for real.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Maze at humigpit ang hawak sa mga kamay ni Asia. Both their hearts are beating fast of so much joy and love. He can't believe what he heard from Asia's mouth.
She loves me.. Oh my gahd. She finally loves me back!
"Can you please say it again? One more time, please?" Bahagyang napangiti si Asia for she found him so cute, looking so shocked and unsure.
She cupped his face and said those magic words while looking straight in his eyes.
"I love you too."
"YES!!!" Hindi na napigilan ni Maze ang sarili at napasigaw ito at binuhat si Asia at pinaikot-ikot. Napatili si Asia pero natatawa sa kakulitan ni Maze. He put her down and cupped her face. Parang mapupunit na ang mga labi nito sa lawak ng ngiti. Bakas ang sobrang kasayahan sa dalawa.
"Please tell me again that you love me." He told her as if making sure he heard her right. Natawa ulit si Asia. Kulit talaga eh.
"I love you Maze Oliver Sanders." Natawa si Maze ng malakas saka mahigpit na niyakap si Asia.
He felt like the luckiest guy in the world. He thanked God for giving him Asia's heart finally. Dahil kahit palagi man nitong nakakasama si Asia, people think they are a couple, hindi pa rin siya kuntento.
He wants her heart. And he will never feel contented without it. Kaya ngayong hawak na niya ang puso ni Asia, he can't help but react like this. Gusto nga niyang isigaw sa buong campus na mahal rin siya ni Asia pero he thought otherwise dahik alam niyang mapapahiya lang si Asia. Having her in his arms is enough for her.
"I love you so much, Gigi. Thank you. Thank you for loving me back. For loving me for real."
Asia hugged him tighter as a response. She also can't believe it. Na hahantong ang relasyon nila from fake lovers to friends to real couple. Hindi niya tuloy maiwasang isipin ang palaging inaasar sa kanya nina George at Lara..
"TEAM REAL!!!! AHHHH!!!"
Someone squeaked sabay ng pagflash ng ilang camera sa kanila. Since nakaharap siya sa kabilang side ng court at hindi niya nakita ang mga dumating but then she already knew. Natatawa siyang bumitaw sa yakap ni Maze at they smiled at each other before facing the group. Maze intertwined their fingers that made Asia's stomach frenzy. Dati wala lang ang holding hands nila ni Maze sa mga contests and photoshoots but this time.. Halos sumabog na ang ovaries niya sa kilig.
"Hashtag MaSia is Team Real! Siguradong mababaliw si bakla!" Sabi ni Lara habang nagtitipa sa kanyang cellphone. She's sure na may kasamang picture nila iyon ni Maze. Hinayaan nalang niya ito dahil kinikilig rin naman siya ang she also wants people to know na sila na.
Sila na nga ba?
Pero it doesn't matter. Siguro sila na nga. Mag-uusap ulit sila matapos ng practice game nina Maze. But then hindi na unattend ng practice game si Maze at tinakas rin siya sa practice with the squad. Both of them just ditched their practices like some badass couple.
.
Funny how Asia realizes her real feelings for Maze just because of one kiss.
.
That she can finally have peace in her heart she longs to have by admitting her feelings to Maze.
.
That she can still have a happy ever after matapos ang malaking unos at sakit..
.
.
Because of one kiss.
.
.
For it takes one kiss to make a make-believe real..
.
***
The kilig end! <3
Natapos rin! Pinush ko eh.
Now I'm off to hibernate.
See you on Story #4!
Don't forget to vote! ❤