I slowly open my eyes. They feel heavy as hell, like I didn't sleep the entire night. I'm on my stomach and my arms are numb under my pillow. Everything that happened yesterday comes back to me, making my entire body quiver in frustration. Why did I even bother to wake up?
I hear someone walking along the hall. It's probably my Mom coming in and out of Harry's room. She does that sometimes. She'll even lay in his bed for a little bit when she's done cleaning and reorganizing.
I turn over on my back and stretch. Today's the party. I was going to tell Maliah about it before she left yesterday in a panic, but I guess it wouldn't really matter at this point. I'll just keep it to myself.
I grab my phone off the floor and lay back down. I have nothing from Maliah, but a text from Hielee and something from my Mom. It's also ten in the morning right now. I'm definitely going back to sleep after eating some cereal or something.
I open Hielee's text first.
"I can't sleep."
Guess that was last night. I guess I should text her good morning or something. Gotta start somewhere. Plus I'll be with her most of the night, it'll be awkward not to start a conversation.
I texted, "Hey, good morning. If I don't reply back it's because I fell back to sleep."
A loud thud next door makes me sit up quickly. I wasn't planning on getting up until I heard my Mom start crying. So I slowly made my way out of bed with my phone and saw her on her knees in Harry's room with broken glass on the wooden floor.
"Uh ... Mom?" I said.
She doesn't respond. She's in a dark red robe and fuzzy black slippers. I peer over her, watching my step. Its Harry's vase that he made in his pottery class. I remember that day because I was the one who took him. I remember that day pretty clearly. He was so happy and he always had a thing for hands on stuff.
"W-We can glue it back together." I said.
She sucked in a large breath of air, "I was jut dusting and I-I tipped it o-over."
"Its okay. Accidents happen."
She whispered, "I miss him so much."
I nodded, "I know. Should I go get the broom?"
She shook her head sniffled, "No. That's fine. I'll ... just be here for a while. Your father got called into work this morning. I'm not sure when he'll be back home."
"I'm going out tonight ..." I added.
"Where? To Maliah's?
"Yeah." I lied.
"Okay. Just text me. Are you spending the night?"
I shrugged. I'll most likely come back home because Hielee lives with her Mom and I doubt her Mom even knows she's going to a party herself, "I don't know. Probably not."
"Be safe." She said faintly.
I turn and walk away. I don't like talking to her for too long or being in that room. I just want my cereal so I can go back to bed.
**
I put on my black jeans and a random sweatshirt. I don't really dress up for parties, but no one really does so I don't feel the slightest bit of bad.
I'm a little nervous walking into Pack's party. We haven't talked since my last episode. I probably won't even see him, but it'd still be nice too. He wasn't my friend, but we talked and got drunk and high together. He was the one that introduced me to acid and coke.
My hair is down for once. I would like to look semi presentable for Hielee though. I always look like shit around her. I mean I have no real sense of fashion, but at least I can show her that I try, for the most part.
I grab my black hoodie and leave my room. I close my door and walk the hall, down the stairs. Jane is asleep on the couch. I fell asleep after I ate this morning so I'm not sure how long she was in Harry's room having a mental breakdown.
Eric still isn't home yet which makes my leaving ten times easier. He doesn't say shit anyway, but it's always the feeling of his eyes on my back that bothers me. Because I know he wants to say something. Whether it's to scold me or make a smart ass comment it won't stop me from leaving, but it will cause an argument.
I walk out into the cold. I lock the front door and eventually spot Hielee's car parked outside my driveway. The warm colored street lights are on creating glares everywhere.
I make my way to Hielee's car and get inside shotgun. The heat of her air conditioner instantly sends shivers up and down my spine. Just being in the cold for a few seconds will make you appreciate heat.
"Well, you're pretty brave coming out here with just a sweatshirt." She said.
I look at her. She's not overdressed, but that doesn't mean she doesn't look good. Her hair is a ponytail but it's curled slightly. She has a minimum amount of eyeliner and blush. A smirk plays on her lips.
I smiled, "I figured since I was getting in the car there wouldn't be a need to carry around something heavy."
"Fuck that. I brought my coat."
"Yeah, I see. Your coat looks like it's eating the back seat."
She pulled out of her parking space and said, "Seat belt."
"Almost forgot," I said pulling the grey belt over my chest. "So why did Chase invite you?"
"I have no idea. He said I was cute and then asked me if I liked parties. I said yes and he said he was hosting a house party on Saturday." She answered.
I nodded, that's definitely Chase. He always has the good looking girls at his parties and I don't blame him or complain for that matter, "Yeah. I don't blame him. I would've invited you too."
I saw her smile, "Are you hitting on me Jax Keen?"
I shrugged and looked out the window, "Believe it or not I don't know the first thing about flirting. I'm just honest."
"I'm a pretty big flirt, but not with everyone. Just certain people I like."
"Like me?" I teased.
"Yeah, like you."
"Remember how you said you didn't want anything out of me?"
She hummed a response, "Mhm."
"What exactly did you mean?" I asked. I've been curious about this ever since. Especially with everything that happened yesterday with Maliah. I need to get over her.
"That I don't expect for you to develop feelings for me or commit to me in anyway. Its high school. We're not thirty year old's looking for marriage." She answered.
"Oh. Well, what's wrong with commitment in high school?"
She chuckled, "Its just ... high school is when you become infatuated with people. You have infatuations and everyone is kinda dicking around and trying to fuck anything that moves. High school isn't really the place to try and fall in love. Not saying that its impossible and it can't happen, but ..."
I make sense of what she's saying. I wish I could say that I'm just infatuated with Maliah, but I know I'm not. An infatuation won't last four fucking years.
"Did I say something wrong?" She said.
I shook my head, "Oh, no. I was just thinking about it."
"I mean ... falling in love is possible at this point in our lives, but ... I just think we're too young to fully understand what love is. You know?"
"Love isn't something you necessarily know though. It's not something you read about. You feel it. You're never too young to feel." I argued.
"Hmm ... You sound like you've been in love before."
I stare out the windshield. I'm in love, but it's not just Maliah. Well I used to be in love with everything about life. Specifically Harry. Maliah at the time was just that amazing bonus. Now she's everything and all I have.
"Yeah. I was," I said finally. "I was in love with life."
"And then your brother ..."
"Died," I finished. "Just like everything good I felt and my perspective."
Her hand lands on my thigh. I look at her. She has one hand on the wheel as she drives at a steady speed, "I can't imagine ever going through something like that, but that's not to say you won't be happy again, you know?"
I shrugged. I don't really want to talk about this. I feel like I've opened up too much to her already and that's not something I want to do. Not anymore, "Yeah."
She gently squeezed my thigh, "I mean it."
"I know. Thanks."
"No more sad talk ... I want to have fun tonight. Even though I'll be sober." She said.
"I am too. I doubt I'll be sober."
She moved her hand off my thigh, "I'm baby sitter tonight."
I smirked, "I promise not to get too crazy."
"I'm not taking your word on that."
"Its definitely best if you don't."
**
We pull up into a decent parking space. are cars all over this street and Chase's front lawn is crowded with cars too. You can see the multiple lights on around the house. There are people outside hanging out and new people entering.
Any normal house party, you would've seen multiple people either high or drunk outside with the contraband in their hands. Chase establishes rules for his parties and since most of us have known him since freshman year, the rules have stuck.
This way nobody gets in trouble first hand. The police will actually have to come into the house and this gives people enough time to ditch for the most part. Though with all these cars blocking each other this time around its probably not as fool proof as it once was two years ago.
There are certain people a part of Chase's clique that actually have roles during these parties. Someone is usually on look out for pigs outside. A few people patrol around the house to make sure no one is overdosing, passed out or being raped for that matter.
Chase is a horrible influence, but overall he has good intentions and I respect him for that. Unlike most of the shit heads that live in this town.
"Holy shit, this place is decked out," Hielee said in awe. "How do you keep a party like this contained?"
I smiled at her excitement, "Get people to play look out."
"Smart. Didn't think the guy was smart. No offense. I know he's your friend and all ..."
I shook my head, "None taken. He's not really a friend, so ..."
She turned the car off and put her keys in her pocket, "Are you ready?"
"Are you?"
She smirked, "Trust me. I need a good party night, even if I'm sober."
We make it into the house quickly. Usually there is people blocking the door and it makes it hard to get in. Hielee held on to my belt loop as we squeezed our way around. I know Chase's house so it falls on me to lead her around.
We passed the kitchen which was filled with red cups everywhere and several drinks and beers around the counters. I already spot some familiar faces from school and they're already drunk with the red cups in their hands and some with the actual bottle.
The music is loud, but it's not ear blasting or anything. I'm surprise no one is smoking weed yet, but with something of that musky smell they're probably smoking upstairs.
Chase's house is actually filled with really expensive art. He takes everything down and places it in his room for safekeeping. He also hides anything with actual value in it. This place looks like mine, but the layout is different and slightly bigger.
"Where are we going?" Hielee asked.
"To the living room." I said looking around.
"The living room?"
"Yeah, that's where people play all the fun games."
"Ohh ... fun games, huh?"
I smirked, turning a corner, "Fun games."
"What's your definition of fun?" She asked.
"Beer pong. Strip anything. Spin the bottle is fun to watch, but I never play it."
"Sounds like a lot of child's play." She teased.
"Listen, I don't know how you got down back in your hometown, but this is how we do it here. Plus I guess the real fun starts when everybody's fucking wasted and going bat shit crazy."
She grabbed my arm and pulled herself to my side, "No need to get all defensive."
"You just like banter I see." I responded smiling.
She chuckled, "Yeah I guess."
We walk straight into the living room which has a large table in the middle. Beer pong is taking place between a group of loud and probably drunk guys. There's some girls standing around, dancing and talking with their friends. Chase removed all of the furniture out of this area. I seriously wonder how he manages to do all this without getting caught or losing his mind for that matter.
"Are you any good at beer pong?" She asked.
I scoffed, "I have no fuckin' hand eye coordination or coordination at all for that matter. I'm surprised I can even get through the day without busting my ass."
"Jax!" I heard.
I look for the voice. I see the man himself with his arm around a girl from school. Chase has light brown eyes and even lighter hair. His hair is pretty fringe looking. If I didn't know him I would assume he's dirty and doesn't wash his hair. He's just an inch taller than me.
He has on a white short sleeved shirt and khaki shorts. He really just looks like he's in pajamas.
"I see you got a cutie on you." He said taking his arm off the girl.
I hear Hielee laugh awkwardly. Her arm drops from mine. Yup, totally fucking embarrassing.
"Uh, no ... She's just a friend." I replied to him.
He winked, "That's how we all start."
"Well it's nice to see you again." Hielee said.
"Yes, I'm glad you came," He said to her. "What do you think so far? Pretty badass huh?"
I smiled, "What? Trying to impress her? She already is."
"I am very impressed actually. Never seen a house party so organized." Hielee said.
"What most people don't know is that planning is key. Do you guys want something to drink? Maybe a line or two?" He said switching his gaze to me.
"A line? You mean like ..." Hielee drifted off.
I cleared my throat and answered quietly, "I don't do that anymore."
"So a drink then?" He said.
Hielee spoke, "I'm driving, so ..."
"Jax. Drink?"
I sighed, feeling Hielee's eyes on me, "Yeah, I'll take a drink. Nothing mixed though."
He slapped my shoulder and held a small glance with me, "Alrighty then."
He walks around me. I smell the weed on his body. I was hoping he wouldn't ask me if I wanted to snort anything.
"Um ... so ... wanna dance?" She asked.
"Oh," I finally looked at her. "I don't really dance ... unless I'm high or drunk."
She nodded and shrugged, "Understandable. In my culture dancing is pretty big."
"Oh yeah? That's pretty cool."
She got close to me and leaned in, "So ... you weren't lying I see. He really has some hardcore drugs.
"Uh, yeah ... I mean it's not just coke. Coke is expensive so it's not often he has it. It's like acid and molly. Some other cheap stuff." I answered.
"Okay, we were wild, but ... No one ever had coke in their possession."
"Don't worry. We won't get caught or anything. Plus he doesn't flash it around. He has certain people that do that shit ..."
"Like you used too?"
I shook my head, "I'm way past that."
She grabbed my hand and gave me a weird happy look, "Good."
"I don't wanna talk about it." I added.
"And I won't make you."
After a few minutes of standing around in silence, I started getting this weird feeling in my gut. The atmosphere changed and Hielee could feel it too so it wasn't just me being paranoid.
Chase handed me a cup full of Satan knows what. It smelled like shit and when I went to taste it I almost puked in my mouth. Maybe I just don't have the throat and stomach I used to anymore to down this nasty shit. I placed it down on the beer pong table and now the guys are putting it to use.
"Wheres the room with all the music?" She asked.
"Oh, I think that's in the family room. Come with me." I said holding onto her hand.
I lead her out of the living room and into the short hall we were walking before. This party isn't as crazy as the other ones Chase has thrown. I wonder what's changed.
"Not surprising that there's couples everywhere having dry sex along the walls. I remember those days." She said.
"Can't relate." I said thinking about the very confusing and sexy make out Maliah and I had yesterday.
We're getting closer to the family room. I can feel the vibrations across the floor. The bass is pretty heavy. People are singing along with whatever song is playing.
I have flashbacks of when I dragged Maliah to one of these parties. It was the second one if I remember right. I made her dance with me. I was high, so, I didn't even realize I was moving around. Eventually she warmed up and started dancing with me.
Since I was high, I was close to kissing her. There's too many times where it was close. Too many times I regretted not doing it. Now that's all I feel considering it happened and she flipped. I wasn't expecting anything different though.
"Now this is what I'm into." Hielee said slightly moving with the music.
I watch her, trying to control my gaze. She has a really nice ass. And hips. And waist. We're in the back of the crowd that's currently dry humping each other.
She caught me staring and smiled, "Dance with me."
I shook my head, "Absolutely not."
She grabbed my hands and tugged, "C'mon Jax. How else do you have fun?"
"I honestly thought I was going to drink tonight and it turns out I'm not so ..."
"That doesn't mean you can't have fun still. Here," She said turning her back against me. "Just move with me."
Her backside presses against me. Her ass starts to move around my pelvic area. I quiver inside. My hands find her hips and my nose is taking in her scent completely. She smells so good and she feels even better against me.
I try my best to move with her. I don't want to embarrass myself, but I don't want to not enjoy a hot girl slightly grinding on me.
"See? It's not so bad right?"
I smirked, "It's pretty bad. Well I am."
"You're doing fine."
"You think so?"
"I wouldn't continue dancing with you if you weren't. I'd have to teach you step by step." She said.
"Guess you'll have to show me more moves then." I said hoping they involve her ass against me.
She placed her hands over mine, "We have an entire night."
I smile and close my eyes, leaning my face against the right side of her ear, "Good."
For tonight I just want to get lost in the music. Like I used too.