"I should probably head home. It's getting pretty late," I tell Ethan.
He sighs and leans over to lay his head on my shoulder. I appreciate how adorable he is being tonight, it's so nice when he's this way. I love it.
"Okay."
I slowly stand up from his bed and trot over to his bedroom door.
"I'll see you at school on Monday," I smile.
Ethan's face drops. He stands from the bed and starts to walk towards me.
What is it now?
"Actually, you won't."
"What?"
He sighs, and begins to rock back and forth on his heels in front of me.
"I got expelled, Jess."
"You what?!"
"When I broke all that shit at the stupid dance, the principal expelled me."
How could he let this happen? Tonight was ending so well, I should have known something like this would ruin it.
"For how long?"
"Ten days."
"What about the football team?"
"I can't play in the game next weekend, but I can still practice."
"Have you told Anne?"
"No. The principal said he would call her first thing in the morning, so I'll just let him handle it."
I sigh, then turn to lean against the wall. I try to take a moment to take it all in, but I don't think I could even if I had all the time in the world.
I'm definitely upset about it, but then again I know it's not truly his fault. It's Samantha's for stirring him up. She knew exactly what she was doing, and it saddens me to think she's probably satisfied with this result.
I hate her.
"Ethan, you need to tell Anne yourself." I tell him, and mean it.
"No way." He throws his hands in the air dramatically and walks back over to his bed. He returns to his previous seat on the edge of the mattress.
"You need to be the one to tell her. I'll do it with you," I offer.
"Why can't we just let the principal do it in the morning?"
"Ethan, please. This way, we can explain to her what really happened and she'll know your side of the story. Not just what the principal saw,"
He looks at me for a moment as if he's debating what to do in his head.
"Do it for me." I say the only thing that I think will convince him.
I grab his hands in mine, intertwining our fingers.
"Fine. I'll tell her, but you stay in here."
He abruptly stands from the bed and jerks his hands out of mine. I jump back slightly at his sudden outrage.
"Are you sure you don't want me to-"
"No. Just stay in here."
He slams the door faster than I can even blink, leaving me alone in his bedroom. I am a bit taken aback by his actions but I realize that he does not want to tell Anne. He needs to, though. It would terrible if she found out by the principal in the morning, and Ethan needs to own up to his mistakes anyways.
I can't believe he's expelled for ten days.
I don't really know exactly what I think about it. I walk over to Ethan's desk, taking a seat in the chair in front of it.
I am suddenly reminded of Ethan's writing, and the two pieces of it I have managed to find. I will never forget Grayson telling me that he thinks I am the reason Ethan started to write again.
My hand starts to reach out to his desk drawer.
Don't do it, Jessica.
I pull my hand back, forcing myself to not snoop through his writing once again. He hasn't told me about it yet, which proves that he doesn't want me to know about it. It's his own private thing.
But, why hasn't he told me?
His writing is so beautiful, I don't know why he wouldn't want to share it. I haven't forgotten his words since the second I read them.
I find my hand reaching out to his drawer again, and this time I don't stop it. I just want to see if there's something in here...
I carefully open the drawer and become excited when I see a clean, freshly folded looking piece of white paper on the very top of a large stack. Just reading what's on this one won't hurt...
The paper is soon in my hands and I slowly unfold it, revealing Ethan's familiar handwriting scribbled across half of it. I smile at the paper, clinging it to my chest for a brief moment. I try to prepare myself before reading what's on it, but I know there's really no telling what to expect.
I take a deep breath before reading the paper.
How long is a second, really? I don't think a second is short.
Sure, if you do the math, a second is simply one sixtieth of a minute, one thousandth of an hour, one ten-thousandth of a day, and, if you really do the math, one ten-millionth of a year. It seems entirely insignificant.
But how long is a second, really? If you think about it, a second can easily be very long.
It only takes one second for a heart to break.
It only takes one second for a new life to be born, or for an old life to die.
It only takes one second for someone's entire world to shatter- or seem to, at least.
It only took one second for me to fall for her- and it takes only one for me to fall for a second, third, and thousandth time.
One second of her long, brown hair effortlessly falling down her small shoulders; one second of her deep, green eyes locking into mine; one second of her tiny, always-cold fingers intertwining themselves with mine.
A second can be very long- some seeming to last longer than others.
So, how long is a second, really?
I am amazed once I reach the end of his writing, as I always am. How can these beautiful thoughts come from such a troubled boy? I fight back the tears forming at the corner of my eyes and force myself to fold the paper and place it back gently with the rest of his collection.
It takes everything in me not to read every single piece of paper in this damn drawer. I shut the drawer tightly and turn away from it. I would do anything to be able to take that piece of paper with me, but I know that I have already done enough. That paper, along with all of the others, are none of my business until Ethan decides they are.
If he ever does...
My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of Anne's voice shouting from downstairs. I immediately stand from my seat and rush over to the door, leaning against it. I feel bad for eavesdropping on Ethan and Anne's conversation, but I might as well continue on my nosy trend tonight.
"I am so disappointed in you, Ethan. I really am."
"I don't know what to tell you, mom, it wasn't my fault."
"Stop blaming your mistakes on other people- especially Samantha, your life-long best friend. This is completely your fault, and you will own up to it."
Ethan doesn't say anything.
"We'll go talk to the principal Monday morning about all of this. I'll try to convince him to make it a suspension instead, but I can't promise anything."
Anne will always be so incredibly caring. It amazes me.
"Okay." Ethan replies.
"Try to stay out of trouble from now on. Please,"
I back away from the door when I hear Ethan's footsteps walking up the stairs. When he opens the door, I can tell he is not in the mood to talk.
"I'll walk you out to your car." He eventually says.
"It's okay. You can stay up here."
"Let me walk you to your car, Jess."
"You don't have to-"
"Alright, fine. I'll just see you when I see you." He scoffs before walking off, leaving me alone in his bedroom once again. I didn't mean to upset him, I just didn't want him to have to face Anne downstairs again after just getting into somewhat of a fight with her. I should have just agreed to let him walk me, I guess.
I now suddenly regret making him tell Anne, too. I really do think it was the right thing to do rather than her finding out in the morning, but now Ethan and I have ended things on a bad note.
I want to go say goodbye to Grayson as I'm walking out, but I know that it is not a good time.
Anne smiles and says goodbye to me, and I return the gesture to her and Robert as I step out of the front door.
The only thing I have on my mind is Ethan's note.
"It only took one second for me to fall for her."
I smile as I repeat the words in my mind over and over again.
I decide that I don't want to leave off the night with how Ethan and I did, so I send him a quick text before I pull out of the driveway.
I'm sorry for making you tell her. I should have let you decide, it wasn't my place. I hope you aren't mad at me.
He texts back only a minute after.
Never, princess.
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