Matt knew that Kristen would be sitting with a lad at lunch but he didn’t realise how it was going to affect him until he actually saw it for himself. When he entered the canteen, he forced himself not to look at where he knew Kristen would be sitting and focussed on getting his food. He didn’t even need to look anyway because he could smell her scent from as soon as he entered and it blocked his nose.
He went into the queue and concentrated on the food smells instead, glaring at the meat along the counter. It was chicken, burgers or some kind of small kebab with pork. Matt decided on all three, rare if he could get it so, and then moved towards his table. He sat down and forced himself to keep his eyes down, knowing that if he looked up he would instantly lock eyes with Kristen and this Gareth who she was having lunch with.
After getting half way through, his head was beginning to hurt. He couldn’t look down forever. Sooner or later he had to look up and see them. He tilted his head slightly and looked up straight at the table. Kristen was picking at a tray of food, kebabs, if his nose was correct, and the apple next to her plate lay untouched. She sipped her drink of water and was smiling at who must be Gareth. He was tall with dark hair and curls around his ears. His eyes were muddy but mysterious looking and his smile was obviously something he used to charm all of the girls he met.
Now that he had looked up, he couldn’t seem to look away. His stomach grumbled due to the smell of food in front of him, yet he couldn’t concentrate on it. Kristen looked like she was having fun. She was laughing and Gareth was too, moving closer undetected every time they laughed. Kristen shuffled in her chair as if she couldn't keep still.
For some reason Matt had the urge to get up, push his tray away, walk over there and drag Gareth away from Kristen. Something didn’t feel right. It felt wrong. It felt as if something bad was going to happen. Whatever it was, it was going to affect Kristen, and not in a good way. Gareth looked like the kind of guy who would break a girl’s heart in a blink of an eye and not be worried about the mess he left behind.
In fact, Matt had seen Gareth around school a few times, he just hadn’t registered him as important. Gareth always had a girl after him or on his arm. That wasn’t a good sign in Matt's books, if he bothered to focus on the matter. He didn't like focussing on people for the sole purpose that their actions annoyed him. Matt felt a rumble and it wasn’t coming from his stomach.
He wasn’t jealous of him. Of course he wasn’t. Why would he be jealous of a boy who was close to Kristen? It’s not like he wanted to be near Kristen. Her smell drove him crazy and all she wanted to do was attack him and find out everything about him. It wasn’t a good thing to have around him. There was enough problems in his life already without adding her to the list. She wasn’t his girlfriend and was never going to be so she was allowed to hang around with other lads, no matter how bad they may be for her.
He tore his eyes away from them and shoved another kebab into his mouth. She was allowed to have boyfriends; he shouldn’t be bothered. He shouldn’t meddle with her life any more than necessary.
Its not like he wanted to. She was the one who wanted to be with him, not the other way around.
Actually, he was happy she was with Gareth. It would push her away and stop her swooning over him. It was a good thing, no matter what that other feeling was. As long as she was away from him and away from the danger of his changing form whenever he was angry or emotional he should be happy.
Should be.
Yet for some reason he wasn’t. His eyes glowed and his mouth twitched. He could still feel a wolf pull to go over there and drag him away. He ripped the meat up and chewed, trying to distract himself. It didn’t work.
Matt looked up again to see Laura and the rest of the group joining the couple. Gareth had his arm around the back of Kristen’s chair and was whispering in her ear and laughing. Kristen was smiling and talking quietly back to him. He felt a growl in his throat as it rumbled down his tongue quietly.
He suddenly looked down as Kristen looked up, as if she’d heard it. He could feel her eyes on his head and he shovelled the rest of the food in to prevent himself from looking up and meeting her eyes. No way was he going to get through the whole of lunch without watching them.
Matt got off his chair and dumped his tray in the tray area then began to move out of the canteen. Before he went, he saw Gareth stroking Kristen’s back and touching her arm, laughing in her ear, and Kristen was smiling back, covering his hand with hers. Matt’s lip turned up and he turned his head.
“So, Gareth. Kristen.” Laura said loudly and Matt rolled his eyes, wishing he could punch her in the face. His pace quickened. “Are you two like, a couple now?” She laughed loudly.
Matt exited the canteen quickly and put his back against the wall, breathing out. Gareth smelt like mud and twigs, but as if it was rotten mud, if that was possible. He turned his nose up and gagged, coughing. Boys definitely didn’t smell too clever in his own opinion. Maybe female werewolves were into that kind of thing. Maybe it was just a gender thing.
Whatever it was, Gareth definitely didn't smell too pleasant.
He moved out into the yard until the bell went, drawing wolves attacking a snake about to eat a robin in different circumstances. He didn’t even realise he was doing it until his eyes flashed and he came back to earth, the sound of the bell entering his thoughts.
He moved to Religious Education and sat down at the back of the class in his normal seat. Kristen and Gareth entered at the same time and Matt clenched his teeth together, glaring down at his table. The wood was already scratched deeply by the compass that Matt used to tear at the hole forming when he was angry. If he pressed any harder the table would snap.
He had to be careful in this lesson.
Gareth sat down and pulled a chair out for Kristen, who smiled and sat down next to him, on the right hand side of Matt. Matt turned in his chair so his back was facing Kristen and wished for once that he didn’t sit there. It was already bad enough watching them from across the room. Now he was going to be right next to them and he would have to be completely in control.
That, and her smell was going to make him pass out. It was already circling him, tickling his nose and sucking in his air.
He could hear their whole conversation too. Though he didn't really care, he culdn't not listen to it, especially when they weren't even trying to be quiet about it.
Gareth was leaning on the table with his elbow, the other hand around Kristen’s chair. His voice was low and sounded as if he had something stuck in his throat, or that’s what Matt thought anyway. “I don’t listen to any of this rubbish. Want a headphone?” Gareth took out a black iPod and handed over a headphone.
“Wont we get caught?” Kristen asked and laughed quietly.
“Nah. The teacher is half blind.” Gareth nudged Kristen and grinned.
Matt rolled his eyes and shuffled in his chair.
“Maybe later.” Kristen replied and Matt heard her turn towards him, her eyes on his shoulder. “Matt?”
“What?” He asked dully and didn’t turn around.
“I need to talk to you.” She lowered her voice and leaned closer.
“No you don’t. Leave me alone.” He said and shook his head, bending it more towards the table.
“Please, Matt.” She touched his elbow lightly with her thumb and forefinger.
He twitched as a shiver ran up his arm. “What?” He asked quietly and looked up as the teacher came in.
“I'm sorry.”
“About?” He avoided eye contact and opened his exercise book, hoping that she'd soon get the message and shut up.
“This. Look at me please.”
Matt sighed and glanced to the right at her. Her hair dangled like a curtain, stopping Gareth from looking at them both. Her eyes swam with worry. “I don’t care.” He said to her face with a blank expression, his eyes empy of emotion.
“Matt,” She adjusted herself and began whispering quietly. “Matt, I know there’s something there between us, but you wont let it happen. You’re preventing us doing anything because you’re worried about something. I don’t understand but I wish it didn’t control your life so much. After before…”
“Kristen. Forget it. I'm not interested. I've told you before. Leave me alone.” Matt turned his nose down and flipped some pages as the teacher began drawing on the board.
“No, you are. I can see it in your eyes.” She whispered. “I cant wait for you.”
“I don’t want you to.” He said simply and blew out in a huff, wanting the floor to swallow him whole.
“I hope its okay. Me and Gareth…”
“Kristen. I don’t care.” Matt said and turned his head away from her.
“But…Matt.” She shuffled closer and touched his thigh. He jumped and a hiss blew through his teeth. She jumped her hand back and lowered her eyes. “I'm sorry.”
“I'm trying to listen.” He said and brushed her off.
End of conversation.
Kristen watched him for a moment and then sat up, turning her head back to Gareth. “Give me that headphone.”
He gave it to her willingly and smirked, moving closer to her and touching her hand with his. “You’ll like this one.”
Matt sighed and glanced from the corner of his eye at them. Gareth was strange. Matt couldn’t put his finger on it. His eyes looked hungry and nasty whenever Kristen looked away. His hand continued to stay on hers but it moved every so often so that sometimes it touched her thigh. If he tried anything on with her, Matt was sure he wouldn’t be able to control himself and would attack him right on the spot without a second thought.
He wished there was something to do, anything that would distract him. He wished they weren’t so close. He wished that they weren’t so close and private right next to him. He wished that her smell would go away so that he could breathe properly. He wished so many things because it was just uncomfortable.
He didn’t like Gareth, that much was obvious. Gareth was one of those boys which was annoying as soon as you looked at them. He had that cocky smile and those creepy eyes that made you think that he was up to no good. He lured nice girls to him, had his way, then dumped them once they were no longer exciting. It wasn’t very nice, and it certainly changed the girl into someone unrecognisable afterwards.
He didn’t want Kristen to change. She was a nice girl. Gareth was going to turn her into a careful defensive woman with a constant worry sketched into her brow. He couldn’t let that happen because, no matter how much he tried to convince himself, he still cared for her that little bit more than everyone else.
That was his explanation for all of his feelings towards her. It was a careful feeling. He cared that she had a good life because she had been nice to him. It was only fair that he looked after her more in return, but it wasn’t a romantic feeling. No, he didn’t care for her in that sense. It wouldn’t ever work, like he told himself all the time.
Once the lesson was over, Matt packed up his stuff and began to move out of the room. Everyone else rushed out before him, leaving him on his own. Well… nearly. Of course, Kristen had hung back, leaving a disgruntled Gareth to walk home alone. Matt rolled his eyes and moved from behind his chair, gripping it so hard his fingers moulded into the back.
“Matt.” She said and Matt turned to look at her.
“What now?” It was getting quite annoying now. Her smell choked him.
“I just wanted to see if you wanted to change your mind. About the relationship thing…”
“No.” He stared at her as he said it so it dug deep into her brain.
He wasn’t interested. He couldn’t be interested.
“You nearly kissed me again. I still want a kiss.” She stepped closer to him and Matt looked around. They were alone. The teacher had deserted them. No one would be able to see them now.
“Don’t you get it, Kristen?” He hissed quietly, bowing his head to glare at her. “I'm not interested. I don’t care. I don’t want to. Leave me alone.”
Kristen widened her eyes then grabbed his hand, turning it in her fingers. His arm gave a shiver. She smiled and moved her fingers to his wrist. “You are interested. I see it. I see the way you look at me.”
“You’re reading too much into it.” He gulped and turned his head away from her gaze.
“I'm not and you know it. You like this.” She touched his cheek and he breathed in a shaky breath.
“No. Stop it. I cant.” He closed his eyes and bowed his head further.
“You can. You’re strong enough.” She smiled and moved his hand to her waist. “See? I'm fine.”
Matt clamped his teeth shut as a ripple, almost a purr, escaped his lips. “No.”
She put her hand to the back of his head and he felt her fingers skim through his hair.
It sent a shier up his spine. He didn't know what to make of it.
“I will get one eventually. You’re crumbling.”
“I'm not.” He shook her off and stepped into the next row. “Leave me alone.”
“No. Make me.” She stepped closer and almost tread on his toes. “Go on.”
Matt sighed and Kristen smiled again, her eyes glistening. “Kristen…”
“Go for it, Matt. I dare you.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and he sucked in a breath, scrunching up his eyes and staring hurtfully at her.
“Please, Kristen. I beg you.” He whispered and untangled her arms from him. “Leave.”
“I can see it. You like me.” Her hand placed on his heart and it thudded responsively. “You cant deny it. Your heart is a give away.”
“It's not. I am. I will. I don’t like you. Not like that.” He pushed her hand away.
“Matt.”
“No Kristen!” He breathed and almost sprinted to the door. “Don’t.”
She was right behind him, pressing her hands against his shoulders. He looked down at her and gulped. He didn’t want to. Well, he did, but he shouldn’t want to. She pushed up closer to him and stroked the corner of his eyes. “Matt. You wont even feel anything.”
“I will. I’ll hurt you.” He grabbed her wrists as she moved her hands. “Stop. Right now.”
“No.”
Matt growled, anger started to flow from him. “Yes.” He pushed her away and she staggered back, surprised. “Go with Gareth.”
“I want you.”
“Too bad.” He turned his back on her and closed the classroom door behind him, leaving Kristen stunned in the classroom, staggering straight into Laura.
Great. Just what he wanted right now.
Laura stepped back and glared at him, her eyes like fire. She put her hand on her hip and hitched her skirt up higher so it showed half her thigh. She wasn’t alone. There was a lad next to her, stinking of an oak tree. He had blonde floppy hair with bright blue eyes and hardly any freckles dotting his nose. He was holding Laura’s other hand and glared at Matt too, as if he was a pile of dirt. Matt raised his eyebrows in humour.
“Yes?” Laura sneered at him.
“What?” Matt asked and smirked at her. “Another lad I see? Who’s the unlucky guy?”
“Shut up. Just because no one will go for you.” Laura shot back and Matt folded his arms.
“Really. I wouldn’t be so sure of that.”
“Why? Kristen isn’t interested. That’s who you’re after isn’t it?” She smirked back at him and squeezed the boy’s hand, who licked his lips and glanced from Matt to Laura.
Matt shrugged and shook his head. “Other way round.”
Laura laughed. “She’s not after you.”
“Ask her. That’s not what she said to me.” Matt glanced at the lad and he suddenly looked worried, glancing at his girlfriend for cover. “If I were you I’d run before she attacks you.” Matt murmured and smiled scarily at him, showing his teeth. The boy jumped back and snapped his hand away from Laura, hugging himself.
“Ignore him.” Laura said to him and then returned to Matt. “You tell me what she’s done to make you think that then.”
Matt shrugged. “She keeps following me and trying to kiss me. Is that enough for you?”
“I don’t believe you. In your dreams.” Laura rolled her eyes and laughed coldly.
“Whatever. She’ll run out in a minute anyway. Now if you’ll excuse me.” Matt moved half way down the corridor before Laura could say another word.
Right on queue. Kristen ran out of the classroom they had been in moments before and landed straight into Laura. Matt could hear Laura asking Kristen questions and he looked back for Kristen’s response. She was staring at Laura with wide eyes, glanced down the corridor at him, and then she made her face go blank and she lied.
She lied perfectly.
Straight to her face.
It was so convincing that Matt began to think that he was only thinking Kristen was after him and that maybe it was all in his head.
It was worrying actually, Matt thought as he moved out of the school doors and ran home. If she could lie so perfectly, she could lie to him. Asking about the smoke and where she was when her smell completely disappeared could be a waste of time because she could lie to him so convincingly that he would think differently afterwards. He’d need evidence to prove it to himself. Then, once he was sure, he would ask her and find out for sure. She couldn’t deny everything, if it was her.
Her touch still lingered on him, the smell on his clothes. He’d need to wash them. She really wanted him. She really wanted that kiss. It was just for a few seconds but it could change her whole life and his. He didn’t want to risk it but at the same time he did.
Probably because he knew he would never have that chance again with a girl.
It was definitely for the best and no matter how tempting she seemed and how desperate he was just to make that contact, he wouldn’t dare, with the risk of her discovering his secret if he got too excited and put her in danger.
He didn’t know if it was different with girls now that he was what he was. Maybe if he made contact he would want to be near her. That way, she would have to be his mate to pass on the heir or whatever. Matt didn’t really read into werewolf stuff as, of course, it repulsed him. He’d rather he didn’t know. He didn’t want to see what destruction he could make.
He didn't want to know what he could do to hurt Kristen.