Seriously, WHAT'S HOT? [√]

By CompulsiveWriter

317K 6.4K 1.4K

Written when Wattpad had a 'What's Hot' list - a satire of all the cliche plots woven into one story line - W... More

Chapter 1 - Watt Was I Thinking?
Chapter 2 - Watt the Fudge Cake?
Chapter 3 - Ohh Brother!
Chapter 4 - Squishy Bits
Chapter 5 - Cruel and Unusual Punishment
Chapter 6 - Sparks Fly
Chapter 7 - Hazardous Sleeping Arrangements
Chapter 8 - Please Explain...
Chapter 9 - Can't Fight this Feeling
Chapter 10 - Top Dog
Chapter 11 - How to wedge a large object in a small hole
Chapter 13 - Watt romantic bone are you referring to?
Chapter 14 - Lucifer wears Levis
Chapter 15 - Taking Care of the Junk
Chapter 16 - The Kissing Booth
Chapter 17 - Passing Infatuations
Chapter 18 - Can't think of a chapter name...
Chapter 19 - Frightening Stuff
Chapter 20 - OMG The boy without a Dog's Name is in Love with Me!
Chapter 21 - What Ifs
Chapter 22 - Up the Duff Without a Paddle
Chapter 23 - Seriously, There is No R-Rated Chapter
Chapter 24 - Ripping the Heads off Small, Fluffy, Cute Creatures
Chapter 25 - Fifty Shades of Gay
Chapter 26 - F=Freaking, B=Bloody, I=Inconvenient
Chapter 27 - Handcuffs are soo last season!
Chapter 28 - The Bad Guys Wear Pink...
Chapter 29 - Always Check the Expiry Date

Chapter 12 - Laying the Bet

11K 195 34
By CompulsiveWriter

Chapter 12 - Laying the Bet

“His girlfriend?  Haha very funny Mr C.  That’s not funny.  That’s insane!  You can’t be serious Mr C.?  Me Josh’s girlfriend?  No? No. No!”

Marcus just sat and watched as Patience had her moment of panic.  He smiled and drank his coffee while he waited for her to take a breath.  His eyes met with Josh who was still leaning against the wall.  Josh’s face looked conflicted but he wasn’t going blue like Patience.

“No!  I can’t!  No!  Loyal will kill us.  It wouldn’t be right.  I don’t... I can’t...”  Patience finally inhaled, fell into a chair and looked at Marcus with large frightened eyes.

“I will talk to Loyal,” Marcus smiled in a gentle way, “Don’t worry Petal I not suggesting you sleep with my son.  Your virtue is safe.  You do still have your virtue, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Patience said before she realised what he was asking.  Once she did she quickly clamped her mouth shut and blushed. 

“Good, good, then my son will date you, he will treat you like a lady and he will protect you.”

“Protect her?  Protect her from what?” Josh scoffed. “Patience doesn’t need protecting! C’mon dad it’s not like her books are going to come to life and attack her. She’s in no danger...”

“Isn’t she?” Marcus interrupted him without turning his hard eyes from Patience, “I have returned to find her house full of men.  She cares about you enough to defend you but do you care for her enough to defend her?  What have you done to protect her son?”

“Protect her?  Those guys aren’t going to hurt her,” Josh scoffed.

“Hmm,” Marcus tapped on his chin, “I think you are wrong, wrong on a number of counts.  I think that at least one of those men will wound her very deeply if she isn’t cared for.   Isn’t that right Petal?”

“I... I don’t... I don’t know what you are talking about?” Patience stuttered.

“Well since you have been direct with me little Petal, I will return the favour.  I am surprised and quite pleased that you are still a virgin.  Especially considering you are sleeping with one of those men, aren’t you?”

Patience’s mouth dropped open as all the blood in her body pooled at her feet.

“Dad!  Please!  This is Patience we are talking about not Serenity!”

But Marcus kept his cold eyes focused on Patience.

“You can’t lie to me Patience, no one can.  I know.  I must keep my son safe so I keep a close eye on him and his friends.” Marcus raised an eyebrow, “So tell me if you are not having sex with him, what exactly have you been doing with the boy who climbs in your window every night and leaves before dawn?”

“That’s ridiculous!  Patience, tell him that’s ridiculous?”

Patience couldn’t.  She sat there trapped in his eyes.

“Patience, my Petal, I only want to protect you.  Tell me what you have been doing?”

“He just sleeps.” She blurted out, “He just needs a bed while they convert the garage.”

“He... It’s true?” Josh’s voice was quiet.

“Is that what he told you?  Hmm, interesting.  And what do you talk about?”

Patience dropped her eyes to her hands unable to look at both men who were staring at her, “Nothing much, it’s only been two nights and he doesn’t touch me.  He doesn’t like me like that.  It’s just a bed to him.”

“You’ve been sleeping with one of them!” Josh growled loudly. “Which one?  Which one Patience? I’m going to kill him!”

 “Well, my Petal, now that you have a boyfriend, he can find the sofa to sleep on.  Understand,” Marcus’ tone was soft but underneath the gentle words was an edge that Patience couldn’t miss.  She lifted her eyes to his and saw that this wasn’t the friendly request that it sounded like.  His eyes shone with barely contained fury.

“Who?  Tell me which one Patience!” Josh was off from the wall and his fists were clenched.

Patience finally dropped her eyes and the blood rushed back to her face turning it bright red.

”Now you see that our little Petal needs protecting Joshua?  I am glad I was not too late.  I promised your father that I would keep an eye on you all.  So I will sleep better knowing I did not let him down.”

“I am going to cut his dick off and ram it up his nose, then I am going to break his nose and then I’m going to tell Loyal.  Ohh hell, Loyal’s going to be so pissed!”

Patience could feel the tears streaming down her face as her heart clenched.  She was ashamed but the fear was worse, not for herself but for Jake.

“Please don’t tell Loyal, please Josh.  He’s got so much on at the moment I don’t want him to be any more disappointed with me.  I couldn’t cope with it.  Please Josh, please.  I’ll deal with this. Please, don’t tell him.”

“Tell me which one I have to hurt.” Josh’s voice was strained. 

“See Patience, this is working already.  He is growing up and accepting his responsibilities to you.  This was a great idea.  Joshua you will be a good boyfriend to Patience but you will not have sex with her.”

“What do you mean?”

“Son, I didn’t think you would need this explained.  Sex is when a man,” Marcus bit back the smile, “Pushes his erect...”

“No!” both Josh and Patience yelled at once.

“Please don’t dad!  This is traumatic enough as it is!”

“Very well, then do you understand that Patience will remain a virgin?  You will treat her like a lady.  You will treat her like the beautiful woman she is, and not like the sluts you push your cock into.  You will be a proper boyfriend.  And you will protect her from the other dogs that sniff around her.   By doing this you will grow up in this week so when you met your wife you will be the man she needs you to be.”

“Dogs?  Sniff around me? I am sitting right here, you know?  I’m not...” Patience gave up when it was clear that neither man was listening to her.

 “No, why should I agree to this?  I’ll still have to get married, why do I have to spend my last week of freedom having a girlfriend that I can’t have sex with?”

“OK let’s make a little bet then.”

“A bet?  What sort of bet?” Josh looked dubious.

“No!  You can’t be serious?  I am not going to be the subject of a bet!”

“I will not force you to marry a stranger Joshua, if...” Marcus paused for effect and looked at the indignant Patience with a sly smile, “If you can convince your family and friends that you and Petal are lovers but still remain a gentleman.  You must be seen by all to be in love.  You must play the part of two people in the throes of love, in the dawn of bliss, with all the searing heat of a new passionate affair.”

“What?” Patience blurted. “Absolutely not!”

“What?  What’s that mean?” Josh frowned as he considered what his father was saying.

“I want you to act like her lover without being her lover,” Marcus said carefully to his son.  “You will touch her, kiss her, hold her, sleep together but you will not have sex with her.”

“No! No he won’t!” Patience shook her head but Marcus ignored the interruption.

“You must show that you are mature enough to refrain from sexual interaction while maintaining a close physical relationship.”

“But...” Josh looked at Patience carefully as she sat there stunned, “You can’t expect me to do that.”

“I didn’t say it would be easy, son.  But it is what I am willing to wager this, unless you are ready to accept your bride?”

“No, I can’t get married.  But I’m not sure I can do this.” 

“Accepting that it will be a trial is a good sign Joshua.  Yes, this was a good idea.”

“I am not doing this!” Patience sang out as she stood to walk out, “Ignore me all you like but it still won’t change the fact that I am not doing this.”

“Sit down Patience Lee,” Marcus said in a firm tone.

Patience froze.  Mr C. hardly ever used her full name.  Slowly she lowered her bum back on the chair and waited as Marcus turned back to Josh.

“If your relationship is found out as fraudulent, if you do not treat her as if she was your lover, if she does not turn eighteen a virgin, then you will have lost the bet and you will live up to your responsibilities to your fiancé and your family.  You, Joshua Camerota will marry the girl I have chosen for you without complaint.”

 “But... But...” Patience said in a small voice, “Why should I do this?”

“Because you are his friend,” Marcus smiled warmly at her as he reached out and took her hand, “Because he came to you for help.  He asked you.  So I will let you help him.  And because I love you like a daughter.”

“Like a daughter?”  Patience’s eyes widened as she remembered his earlier words, “You promised my father?  What did you promise my father? You knew my father?  You know who my father is?”

Marcus just smiled, “Be gentle with her son.  Threat her well and protect her and you will earn my respect.”

“Tell me who my father is!  I need to know!  I am not doing this unless you tell me who my father is!”

“Remember Petal,” Marcus laughed, “I want him to marry. So it is in my best interest not to tell you what you want to know.  It will suit my interests for you to refuse to help him.”

“I’m not doing this,” Patience shook her head not believing what was happening.

Marcus got up and put his hand on the shoulder of his son, “This is your test son.  You must convince her.  But, no matter what happens between you and Petal, do not forget that she is yours to protect now.  She is yours, your responsibility.  And as much as I want to win this, I do not want her compromised.  Do not let another man touch her.  I will be extremely upset if Petal is deflowered.  I made a promise Joshua, and you know how seriously I take my promises.  I will be watching and I will know.”

“Yes father,” Josh whispered.

“Mr C. This is silly!  You can’t really expect Josh and me to behave like we are dating!  Hell we don’t even like each other!”

 Marcus laughed as he left the kitchen.

“No way!” Patience said before Josh even asked the question.  “There is no way I am pretending to be your girlfriend and no way am I sleeping with you, even without sex!”

“Patience please!  You promised to help me.  You said you would help me get out of this.”

“Yeah, I promise to help you not to have my V-card become a competition between you and your father!  Your father!  Your frecking Father has made my virginity a score card!  There is something very wrong with that!”

“C’mon baby, he made a promise.  It’s not like he wants to bag you himself!”

“Ohhh, ewwww!  Thanks Josh, thanks for that!  Ewww!  He’s like fifty!”

“It’s just until Friday.  You can survive being my girlfriend for that long, right baby?”

“Don’t you dare call me Baby or I will staple your man bits to the table!”

Josh put up his hands in defence, “Fine, fine, no baby!”

“I’m still not doing it! They are going to think we are sleeping together!”

“That’s because we will be sleeping together.”

“No!  Ohh gawd, no!”

“So what you would rather sleep with that guy than me?  Is that how much you hate me?  Fine.  Pick him over me!  I’m just the one who is facing a love-less marriage.  You save him from the cold floor while you leave me out to dry!  Great, it’s nice to know how little you think of me!” Josh turned away.

“Josh, don’t!” Patience called after him but he was gone.  The kitchen door slammed back into place as Patience dropped her head to the kitchen table and swore.  How did she get herself in these situations?  How did this happen?  Why did she agree to help Josh in the first place?  Why didn’t she say no to Josh?

And then there was Jake.

Patience head hurt as she banged it against the wood of the table top. 

What the hell was she supposed to do?  Was Jake even interested in her?  If she turned down Josh it wouldn’t change the fact that Josh knew that one of the guys was being friendlier that Loyal approved of.  Josh and Loyal would be all over her like flies at a BBQ.  Any chance of any sort of relationship, friendship or more, with Jake had just flown out the window.  Maybe Josh was right.

 She took a deep breath, and forced herself up from the table.  It wasn’t too difficult to find Josh. He was in his bedroom playing his playstation.  She pulled herself up on the bed next to him.

“Do you think we will have to kiss?” She fiddled with his bedcovers. “Like really kiss?”

“Yes,” he said without taking his eyes off the game, “Did you kiss him?”

“That’s none of your business!”

Josh inhaled and held his breath.  “Fine, but it’s over Patience.  I don’t care if we do this or not, he’s not going near you again.”

“I know, just don’t overreact.”

“Me, overreact?”

“Do you know who my father is?” Patience attempted to change the subject as she knew Josh was about to make her tell him who it was.

“No,” Josh laughed with a touch of sorrow, “I hardly know who my father is!  But this is the first time I’ve ever heard him mention your father.  I didn’t know he knew him either.”

They sat silently on the bed while Patience continued to play with the bed spread and Josh bit his lip.

“Do you love him?”

“Who?”

“Tell me who he is Patience.  Who are you sleeping with?  Do love him so much that you would protect him?”

“No! No, I don’t think so.  Ohh, I don’t know Josh.  He’s nice to me.  He listens to me.  He makes me laugh. I don’t know.”

“Who, is, he,” Josh asked his voice rough with emotion.

“Josh if I tell you it will end up a fight.  You’re going to be married in a week’s time.  What do you care?”

“I care Patience.  I don’t want to be married.  I... I...” Josh closed his eyes and when he opened them he looked deeply into her eyes, “Please Patience, will you be my girlfriend?”

“Until Friday?  Then what?  I get cast aside and you go back to... your life.”

“If we can do this then I don’t have to get married,” he said softly.  “Look Patience I can’t promise you much but I need you.”

Patience closed her eyes and exhaled.  He needed her.  Ohh hell, she was going to regret this.

“Don’t tell Loyal about... you know, about him.  I will deal with him.  If you cheat on me or embarrass me I will dump you and you will have to marry little Miss Ball Breaker, alright?”

Josh wrapped his arms around Patience and drew her up against his chest, he hugged her close with his eyes tightly closed, “That’s a deal girlfriend.”

“And Josh,” she said into his chest, “You owe me huge!  Huge!”

“I’ll be your slave for life if we can pull this off!” He laughed.

“Good, and Josh, he didn’t kiss me.”

Josh smiled as he slowly dropped his lips to Patience, “Good, these are my lips from now on.”

Then his lips skimmed hers with a soft feathering touch.  He kissed her without demanding too much, he kissed her and let her set the limits.  Her fingers thread through his hair and she pulled his lips to hers and dissolved in his arms.  They fell backwards on the bed kissing and he rolled to pin her under him.

“Umm, Josh?” Patience pulled away.

Josh groaned as he released her and fell to the mattress.  “No Sex, No Sex” he chanted to the ceiling. Patience laughed softly as he adjusted himself while still chanting.  Finally he sighed, “You feel so damn good.  How the hell am I going to keep myself in check until Friday?”

“Well for a start,” she whispered, “I’m not a slut and even though I technically am your girlfriend that doesn’t mean I am going let you have sex with me.  I am saving it for someone special.”

“That’s right, I’m not special!” he said the sentence as if he was mental disabled.

“You are such an idiot!  I can’t believe I’ve agreed to this!”

“I can.  I’m a loveable idiot.  You would succumb to my teddy bear powers sooner or later.”

“You are a crappy teddy bear!  Look at you!” I prodded his muscular chest, “All hard and lumpy not soft and squishy.”

A naughty glimmer caught his eye, “Yup, all hard and very lumpy!”

“It’s because of comments like that I will never sleep with you!”

“Hahah!  But as of tonight you are sleeping with me.”

Patience grimaced as she thought about how Jake was going to take all of this.

“We can come back here if it’s easier on you?”

Patience just nodded.  This was going to be difficult no matter where she ended spending the night. 

It was only until Friday, she reminded herself. 

“Well Josh, let’s get this over and done with.  And if we are lucky the Camera crew will still be there so they will be able to catch Loyal, on film, killing you.”

“Ahhh Loyal.  Yeah, maybe we could stop off on the way back to your place and get a chastity belt or maybe some Granny pyjamas for you to sleep in.”

“Josh you are hopeless!  You really would sleep with anything with a heartbeat wouldn’t you?”

Josh swung around to look at her, his forehead creased slightly, “Do you really think that?”

“Well hell, Josh who, other than me, haven’t you had sex with?”

“I suppose that I deserved that.  But Patience I won’t mess this up.  I will be a good boyfriend to you.”

Patience smiled but in her heart she knew that he was only doing this because of the bet.  He just wanted to get out of this arranged marriage.  And she was sacrificing her non-existent relationship with Jake for a guy who was obviously using her. 

How pathetic was she?  A choice between an imaginary relationship and a fake relationship, well that’s an ego boost.

Josh offered her his hand as left his bedroom. She looked at dubiously for a moment before deciding that you really couldn’t get STD’s from his hand and she had kissed him now so she was probably already contaminated.  She slipped her hand into his and let him lace his fingers with hers. 

“I want to be there when you tell him,” Josh growled as he drove back to her house. 

“Who?  Loyal?  Hell, I think we should sell tickets.  I think half the school would want to see that!  We could make a fortune.”

“No, not Loyal,” Josh frowned, “Yeah, I mean of course I will tell Loyal, and no we won’t be selling tickets.  When Loyal grinds my balls into dust I don’t really want anyone witnessing my humiliation.  After he’s finished with me I doubt I will be able to have sex for a while.”

“Don’t worry Josh, I am going to sleep with a meat cleaver under my pillow so if Loyal doesn’t mash them good I won’t hesitate.”

“Gees woman!” He shook his head as Patience smirked at his discomfort.  “No I mean, I want to be there when you tell the other guy.”

“No,” Patience said flatly as the car pulled into the driveway. 

“Patience, I need be with you when you tell him,” Josh touched her arm, “What if he gets angry? I don’t want him hurting you.”

“Josh, he’s not like that.  Really Josh, this has been blown out of proportions.  He just sleeps in the bed.  He’s never touched me like that and he’s never asked for anything from me.”

“Yes Patience but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you.  Trust me, I know.”  He stopped her outside the front door by putting his hands on her shoulders and lowering his head to hers, “Alright girlfriend, it’s showtime!  Are you ready?”

“Ready to smile while you grope me, ready to look like I like your smutty lips on me, ready to...”

“You could just say ‘yes’!” Josh interrupted.

“Yes!” Patience said with theatrical enthusiasm.  But as Josh went to open the door she stopped him, “Josh, just give me ten minutes.  I want to tell him first before everyone else.”

 Josh frowned but nodded, “I’ll be in the kitchen, just call me if you need me.”

“Where did this Josh come from?  You don’t have to pretend to be something that you aren’t Josh.”

“Have you ever considered that I have been pretending to be someone I’m not for the last 4 years?  Maybe this is who I am, Patience.” Josh didn’t wait for an answer he just headed for the kitchen leaving Patience at the front door looking after him.

She didn’t have long to hesitate.  If she was going to do this it had to be done now.  She found him in working on his motorbike.  Without saying a word she sat on the floor.

“So Josh’s dad?” Jake’s quiet voice was more gruff than usual.

“Yup.”

“How was he?”

“Mr C.?  He’s...”Patience searched for a suitable word, “Fine, just fine.”

Jake didn’t say anything and so she filled in the silence.

“Jake, you are going to have to sleep on the sofa.  I have to spend some time with Josh until Friday.”

“What does that have to do with me and our sleeping arrangements?” he pushed the dark hair out of his eyes and focused on her.

“Our sleeping arrangements have become known to certain individuals and so I am going to be Josh’s girlfriend until Friday,” Patience said the words quickly.

“You’re what!” Jake yelled, “He’s blackmailing you? I can’t believe he’s blackmailing you!”

“No,” she said quickly before she could think to say ‘yes’ or ‘sort of’.

“Then explain?  Why are you changing things Eth? Did you really agree to be his girlfriend?”

“Yes I did,” she picked up a random piece of motorbike and turned it in her fingers while avoiding his probing stare.

“I see,” Jake hissed through his teeth, “But only until Friday.  Why?”

“I shouldn’t have said that.”

“What happens on Friday?  If you need a date for your party you could have asked me.  You didn’t need to go out with him.”

“I’m not going to the party.  It’s got nothing to do with the party.  Look, just forget what I said about Friday.”

“Then what is significant about Friday?  Tell me what’s going down Patience.  I’ll protect you.  I won’t let them hurt you. Just tell me what’s really going on.”

“Jake, please don’t.  I have something I have to do for Josh.  I will be his girlfriend so I can’t have you in my bed.  They know.  I can’t.  Just let it be.  After Friday I might be able to talk to you about it.  But if you feel anything for me just let me do this.”

“Fcuk  Eth!  Tell me what’s going on!  Don’t let them drag you into whatever they are doing!” He held her so that she couldn’t avoid his eyes. “You have to tell me Eth!”

“Let her go Jake,” Josh’s voice came from the door, “Don’t touch her.  If you even think about threatening her or touching her again I will make it my life’s ambition to make you suffer.” 

Josh’s pulled Patience from Jake who was now glaring at him. 

“Eth! Don’t let him do this to you!” Jake grabbed Patience’s arm and held her, “If you go down this road, you won’t come back.”

“I’m sorry Jake, I have to,” Patience frowned at Jake.  He wasn’t making much sense.  But it didn’t matter she was going to help Josh, and if Jake really felt something towards her he would forgive her when she told him the truth after Friday.    

Josh held Patience to him, “I’m not going to fight with you because she’s asked me not to.  But if you ever try to touch her again I won’t hold back.”

“Until Friday,” Jake sneered.

“You told him about Friday?” Josh turned to Patience.

“No,” Patience lifted her eyes to Josh who swore.

“You weren’t supposed to say anything about Friday!   That was the deal Patience.”

“I didn’t Josh!  I just said that we were giving this relationship a trial run until Friday,” she quickly lied in the hope that both Jake and Josh accepted this as the truth.  Part of the bet was that no one knew the truth.  Everyone had to believe this was a real relationship.

“Ohh, yeah, of course we are.  Stay away from my girlfriend Jake.  You have been warned.”

“You don’t scare me Josh.  What are you going to do if I ignore you, set the football team on me?  I could take you all with one hand tied behind my back.”

“Jake don’t....” Patience started but Josh stepped forward.

“Have you ever heard of the Camerota family Jake?” Josh’s voice shook with rage, “On the streets I am sure that you would have heard of Marcus Camerota.”

Jake looked at Josh carefully, “What do you know of Marcus Camerota?”

“Don’t Josh,” Patience pulled Josh away from Jake, “Josh, it’s alright Jake isn’t going to bother me. Jake doesn’t need to know.  No one needs to know, right?”  Patience turned Josh to look at her.  “Remember what is at stake Josh.  Don’t let your temper throw away all those years of hard work.”

Josh looked into Patience’s eyes and reluctantly nodded.  That was part of the deal with him being here.  He could attend a normal high school so long as no one linked him to his Father.  So Joshua Camerota became Josh Cameron and he was forbidden to do what he just did.  He would be ripped out of school and forced to disappear if anyone caught wind of who he really was. Josh had lived like this his whole school life so she couldn’t let him blow it now.  All he had to do was keep his cool for another couple of months until he graduated.  Then he would be free to blurt his father’s name out to whoever he wanted to.

“Josh is just joking Jake,” Patience pulled on Josh’s arm, “Don’t worry about me Jake.”

She couldn’t look at Jake’s cold stare as they left the partly converted garage.  He had done nothing other than flirt with her so there was no reason for her to feel this guilty. 

“Sorry about that,” Josh wrapped his arm around her and drew her into his arms in the kitchen, “I shouldn’t have done that, I was just so angry.  Will you let me make it up to you?  I want to take you on a date tonight.”

“Josh, why are you kissing Bella?  Does Edward know?  Ohh my gosh!  It’s you!”  Serenity squealed from the kitchen door.  “Josh!  Why didn’t you tell me you were a wolf?  Are you having a love affair behind Edwards back? Are you playing them off against each other Bella?  Have you chosen yet?  I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that you’ve found your Jake!”

“Jake?” Josh snarled.

“Down wolfboy!” Serenity said with some authority, “The names are going to get confusing aren’t they?  Bella you just have to choose him.  I know that Josh’s body isn’t as hot as it should be but...”

“What?” Josh’s temper was flaring again.

“Josh why are you touching my sister?” Loyal stopped at the kitchen door and was now gripping the door frame like it was the only thing that preventing him from killing his best friend.

“Patience is my girlfriend, she’s doing me...” and he didn’t get any further.

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Welcome to the tenth story :)