If you want read previous Vol, please head to shaoyelovebl.blogspot.com (Vol 2 and Vol 3 is available in that site)
Rules simple ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ:
1. No "thanks".(• ε •)
2. No rushing me. （ ；'Д｀）
3. No spoiler...*If you know the story, just keep it yourself, ok?｡◕‿◕｡
No proofreading hence lot of grammar error, tried my best best to deliver out...If you are a grammar nazi, don't read.. ಠ益ಠ
Lastly, enjoy the story~! (ノ・ω・)ノ
*****
I opened the ward door, the bed on the woman heard some movement, raised her eyes, and the quietly smiled.
"Today better a bit?
"Better a lot." Her eyes turn narrowed when she smile, gentle and quiet "Ah, the flowers is so beautiful."
I properly put the flowers, sat down, looked at her, and also smile at her.
"Your complexion today looks much better."
"Yes ah, I also think so, don't know why, feel today the spirit is much enough...Is it because know that you want come ah."
I laughed.
"Yi Chen."
"...."
"Yi Chen, you don't like this."
One hand stretched over to wipe away my tears "My look right now very horrified?"
"No...." I sobbed "No...I am sorry ah, Zhou Lan, I...."
"You ah," She laughed "Always so silly, also not your wrong, why want to sorry."
"I am very sorry...."
On her palm is her cold hand "You are really silly...Actually I also love this point of yours."
I used my eyes that are swollen looked at her, she suddenly showed out a child smile "Hey, be happy a bit, I decided to do the operation."
My nose twitched, also smiled "Really, when is the operation?"
"Next week."
"Okay."
"If recover, will you still like now, always come to visit me?"
"Of cause."
"Will bring flowers?"
I broke the tears through laugh "Of cause, every time also will bring."
"Very good." She shut her eyes, as if like slightly showed out the smile "Aih, Yi Chen, I am already at this age, still want to get spoiled by you."
"It is a must." I act out a gentleman that show rabbit eyes wink "Plus you are still young and beautiful."
She is still laughing, the door slightly opened, a slender tall and handsome young man came in.
"Wen Yang, why you come so early."
"Pfft, got dad here then you detest me" Son being injustice "People skipped classes to accompany you!"
T/N: I know is sound weird when it this sentences "people skipped classes to accompany you", if want to be proper trans will be sound "I skipped classes to accompany you." Just that in chinese they use 人家(rén jiā) which is "people" so I also use "people".
"Skip classes still dare to say out loud!" I immediately made a raise hand gesture. Son then leaned over to me "There is not a big deal, I guarantee at the end of the semester I will be the number one."
No matter how it see, it is always a warm and harmonious of three member in the family.
But whoever also knows this is not the truth.
Clean up the peeled skin, look at her tired pale face that cannot be conceal, it is also the time for the visitor to leave, I stood up and bid a goodbye to her, smiled and help her cover the blanket.
"Yi Chen...." She suddenly raised her head "Will you come tomorrow?"
I hesitated for a while.
"It is okay." She comfort while smiled "....if he don't let, then forget it."
Wen Yang accompany me go out, his facial features got that delicate of youngster, yet his temperament look matured and calm.
"Dad, if you are free, then visits more."
"En."
"Mom, she....she is suffered."
My heart felt pain "I know."
"The time hurt you, she feel very sorry."
"No, is not her wrong, I deserved it. I owed to her."
"No, the one who should get karma is that bastard!"
"Wen Yang" I hurried grabbed on his arms "Don't said like this, he...things are messed by me, he also suffered....I beg you..."
"Dad, I really don't know what you like about him? Which of his point is better than mom?!"
"Wen, Wen Yang, we don't say about this thing." I am scare to quarrel with my son, regarding this topic, that make me being such a despicable man so who being so awkward when I am already a father yet still together with a man "That operation....at the end will be how?"
Wen Yang did not said anything, father and son just quietly looked at each other, I suddenly fall a tears.
*****
"Come back?"
Tiptoe to walk across from Lu Feng who flip through the magazine at the living room, heard this word when near to the bedroom, make me feel like back to the student era when climbed out to the wall to go out eat supped and get caught by the officer.
"En...."
"These days you been everyday go out, you got thing to busy?"
My left foot rubbed on my right food, eyes still red, stiffly smiled "Don't have, I, I just simply go out to have a walk, stay at the house very boring."
Lu Feng slightly turned another side, use his two fingers to raise his chin, looked at me "Here is too small? Make you feel stuffy?"
".....Outside place is bigger."
"Then, need me to accompany you?"
"No need....."
He finally threw the magazine aside, sighed "You till today still thinking to see that woman, treat me as what?"
"Is not like that, Zhou Lan, her body is not good, she perhaps...can't live long."
"Then so what?"
I opened my mouth "....No matter how it is, I once was her husband."
"Once?" He laughed "At least you know that is a past story. You now like this, who can tell out you guys had divorced?"
"Lu Feng, you don't like this. You know I feel sorry for her, I feel very bad."
"I hate her."His voice began to be irritated.
"Lu Feng...."
"You every day have to like this go visit her?"
"Yes."
"Why she haven't die yet?
I stunned stared at him, he also looked at me.
Want to open the mouth to scold him a few word, but at the end just grabbed one of his hand, never said anything.
Cannot find anything to blame him. He had never been fake or hypocrite, I also understand, beside his dearest member and his lover, other people are just simply nothing for him.
Toward to those pain that had nothing do to with him, he always feel numb on it.
When one day he no longer love me, and I became his hindrance, he also will think why I haven't go die yet.
He is just like that.
*****
At night both of us calmly lying on the bed, thinking about Zhou Lan current faces, suddenly felt lonely and sad, turned around looked at the man beside me, he lay at a certain distance from me
I touched his hand "Lu Feng."
He suddenly got awake, opened his eyes, and hurried took back his hand away "What it is?"
I move closer, want to rely on his arms, seeking for a little comfort also can.
He moves backward to dodge it out.
Don't know it is my own thinking, he these day got a little cold behavior, and also very easily get irritate.
I know his temper is always not good, but since the day got together, then he became very gentle, gentle until the point where I am not able to recognize. But don't know from when again, he somehow began to out of control.
I don't know it is myself who not doing good, make him slowly feel unbearable.
I...I won't angry on him.
I voluntarily to throw everything and be with him, no matter how he behaved also can.
I don't have anything to pursuit, also don't have any principle, just only hope be with, just two of us, peacefully and harmony to live the following rest of the life, no longer don't have any accident...Then is good enough.
*****
Zhou Lan's operation been one day ahead from the original schedule, I let Wen Yang who waited my news to tell her, that I will go, tell her to not to worry and wait for me, and then turned around to beg Lu Feng "Today is her operation."
"Today is my birthday."
"Lu Feng......."
Lu Feng got some cold, after taken the medicine then being silent just sat on the sofa, his expression looked down. His body always been very good, a little sick can make him extremely discomfort, and very easily get irritate.
"You promise me that you today will accompany me."
"Lu Feng, this is not the same, birthday is not a big deal, but she only have this chances of operation...."
"Cannot."
"...You don't be so unreasonable."
He looked up at me, eyes got a bit bloodshot, looked very tired "So what?"
I put my tone soft, low voice "I go awhile only, operation finish then I will very fast come back."
"Cheng Yi Chen, I am not joking with you. If you dare to out this door today, then don't come back."
I baffled stared at him.
I don't have the guts, so at the end also didn't go out.
I am afraid that he really no longer let me come in.
I hate my own weakness and shabby behavior, but he is really important for me.
*****
The operation did not success, I missed the last chances to see Zhou Lan for one last time.
When Wen Yang phone call me that time, the party is the downstairs is having the high peak, celebrate by the dance and sing, atmosphere is extraordinary bustling. I hid inside the room and listened to my son's voice that is hoarsely, eyes also feel blurry.
"I am sorry, Wen Yang, I, I never able get to see her..."
"Dad."
"Zhou Lan, she confirm......"
"Dad, she never blames you."
"......."
"Mom always love you....She never angry on you. She is just...felt regretted......"
I could not help keep crying.
I barely give her anything, just simply destroyed her whole life, even the promise to let her look at me also cannot fulfill.
I am old, at this kind of age then will start to begin to lose, first is Zhou Lan, and then who is the next?
*****
Lu Feng day by day did not come back home to sleep, my nagging and incontinence of tears make him got annoyed.
Because I behaved like having Alzheimer's disease, the same things have to keep repeatedly saying lot of times, talk about sad thing then will start crying.
Maybe if change to Wen Yang then will accompany dad to recall back the memories of the mom's past story, Lu Feng definitely don't have any interest to listen.
And I forget about this thing, just keep on repeatedly keep sinking myself in the grief, thought that the person beside me will share the comfort, until when he took the cup to throw on the wall and tell me to shut up, I only then got awaken.
"The same thing you have to mention how many times? Cry for what ah?! Are you still a man or not?! Annoying."
I immediately hold back my voice, raise my hand and wipe off the tears, but it is too late. He slammed the door and went out, and that night he never came back.
*****
Been left out for quite some time, more or less also will feel a little awareness.
So when meet up again with Wen Yang, he asked "How have you been", I am just like those people that want to hide something out of it, keep on saying "Very good."
"Dad, would you like to stay with me?"
"Ah?"
"Do you really get used to it?" He seems got a bit difficult to speak, "That man, what I mean, he is not even a half of mom, rude and unreasonable, and he also...also......" say until such a words make he somehow awkward "He is simply just a stubborn horse."
"Dad, you, if you really like man, I...I really don't mind you date with a man that is worthwhile to be together."
Wen Yang being very carefully and being forceful, we both do not dare to pant loudly, afraid that will destroy this peacefully calmness, totally awkward.
"But Lu Feng this man, his private life is well-famous messy. He even...even raped my friend. As long is beautiful young men, he confirm will not miss a chance."
"You...You stay at his place, will live better? Dad....If you are with a trustworthy person living together, I think, I can still accept it. But...I don't want to see my dad become other people's toy, and also one the toys among the group."
Looked at my face's expression sudden changed, he also understand the last sentences said until quite harsh, lightly apologize.
"No, it won't be, you don't worry much," I calmed down, comfort and smiled to him "He treat me....Very good. Really. After together with me, he, he never mess around anymore. In fact, he treated me very gently, also pay very much attention on me. Really, I, I am special one."
So proudly continue to boast, even myself also want to laugh it out.
I also know how messy is Lu Feng's relationship life used to be, accompany him to go those parties and social event, will always get stared by those young men.
My age is getting older, to compete with other also can't, then slowly don't really like to attend, rather nest at the house to watch television.
I am afraid of losing.
But even I hid at the house also no use, Lu Feng's villa is indeed too big, if only treat it as a two people house, then this luxurious is way too much.
This house originally also not for residential for two people, this place should be used for more lively, must often hold some rave party, from time to time also will have some beauty or noble guests come, or not it will be wasted for such a big space, and fully complete with luxury equipment.
I also tried the best to show out as the host in the house, gather the courage to live as being his partner, and nicely stay at this house.
But, not just anybody also can afford being a master.
In their community, my face is normal, very slow to respond, not humorous, also not good at socialize, more ignorant, just like a duck suddenly fell into a group of swans, or like a rural housewife suddenly against with a group of rich women.
Life is not a fairy tale, the duck will get ridiculed, will get underestimated, plus this an old duck, no matter how struggled but the wings also won't fly up, only have the ugly state of those feather loss out.
But no matter how I must hold on, the person I love is a swan, I want to be with him.
I don't want to enter the upper class, I just want together be with Lu Feng.
I hope the house is as big as the turtle shell only, only enough for me and him to shrink inside, tightly bear together, others can't come in.
He is poor a bit then good, poorer then better, two of us just ate with the rice and salty radish, together squeezed in the small bed, I want to hold his fingers when sleeping that time. He is belong to me, we can be equally fall in love, even if today only able to earn for the tomorrow's meal, also will be filled with happiness.
But cannot, the reality say so, I only can try my best to guard the house, got how long then how long. Although I doesn't seem like a host, but more like a guard.
The End.
~
Shao Ye Note: (You can ignore omo)!
Finally post one and going to disappeared again...
Actually this chapter already done early at January 2017, then incident happen which actually really demotivated my mood of translating...(Erhem =3=, is because you become lazy, don't simply put the blame on the report case on wattpad...)
~
However wanted to post one to spirit my mood although can't do the daily posting =3=...Next week and next month busy...*dig nose*~!!
Still want to tell human that I never abandon my wattpad, really don't have...T_T!! Translating is my hobby although translating suck but I still love to do it...:')!!!
Correction: Translating BL is my hobby...My big big hobby...>///<
PS: Lan Lin again success making me hate Lu Feng!! Horray!!! 🙃🙃🙃
That is why I actually buy the edit version Novel because of certain changes hahaha!! Haven't have time to read, so current work is trans from the site novel....🌝🌝🌝
Till Then~!!