Chapter 23
The next morning, I rolled out of bed – the sleeping bag Louise had lent me – and tried to remember why I was feeling so apathetic. And then I saw my phone, lying open from where I set it down when I was writing a text last night. The others had all fallen asleep at around 2 o’clock but I had stayed up, writing a text I was never going to send. Or, more like, a couple of texts I was never going to send. I was so confused. But at some point I must have fallen asleep because it was – 12 o’clock? In the afternoon?
I rolled to my feet and thundered downstairs, skidding into the kitchen. Alex and Louise were sat at the table, discussing what to do with the day since Christmas holidays were officially on.
“I just think that footie probably isn’t the best idea, you know? I know the boys will want to, but they’re insane! Morning Amy,” Louise said cheerfully, texting furiously. “We were just talking about meeting up with the guys this afternoon. You up for it?”
“Uh, sure,” I said, strolling over to the fridge and grabbing some milk and eggs. “Do you have any flour? I’m thinking I need pancakes.”
And that was how the guys found us, half an hour later, giggling as we made rude shapes out of the pancake mix, practicing our flipping. I had flour smudged all over my face and pancake batter stuck in my hair. It took me longer than the rest of them to realise that Geoffrey was in the group, watching me. Louise grabbed hold of Stefan and dragged him away to shout at him, I presumed. Not that he could have known what was going on.
“Nice look babe,” Geoffrey grinned, pulling some mix that had solidified from my hair. So he was going to play it normal. I could deal with that. “I think the batter is meant to go in the pan though.”
“Well you should try flipping pancakes sometime,” I huffed, tipping the squished pancake onto a plate.
“Gladly,” he said, shoving me aside gently. Alex and the other guys were all laughing at our failed attempts from earlier so it was just us, standing at the stove. When he flipped his first one, however, I was in awe. It was perfect!
“Ok, show me how to do that,” I demanded, grabbing hold of the pan’s handle. I don’t know what I was expecting, but not for him to put his arms around me and take hold of the handle too. But then he started tensing his muscles and my mind went blank. He was murmuring in my ear, telling me when to flip them and he helped guide my arms into the right motion.
“So the main thing is to have some conviction,” he whispered, his breath tickling my neck. “Think you’ve got it yet?” I shook my head and he chuckled, completely ruining my concentration. When he had decided I could do it, he let me flip it on my own while he grabbed a plate. Mid flip, he put the plate in the way and caught it. He grinned down at me, flicking a piece of my hair behind my ear and touching my cheek. Ok, maybe he wasn’t quite playing it normal.
“Oh, get a room you two,” Jessie said, nabbing the pancake from Geoffrey. He grinned cheekily and pulled away to talk to the other guys.
“So, anyway, did you hear about the party tonight? Sabrina’s big Christmas bash. Everyone’s going and it might not totally suck,” Tyler said, watching Louise’s reaction. “What do you guys think? Want to make an appearance?”
“Sounds fab – except for the fact that if everyone is going to be there, Marigold and Gemma most certainly will,” Alex butt in, throwing a furtive glance my way. “And you know how much we all hate them.”
“Yeah, but it could be fun,” I broke in with. “I mean, I’ve never been to one of Sabrina’s parties before…”
That seemed to settle it fairly quickly. Louise insisted that I borrow some of her clothes and Alex offered to do my make-up. The boys all talked about getting a keg and Geoffrey smiled at me all the time. His hair was falling into his eyes again and his clothes seemed even more ripped and worn than usual – which was a little extremely hot. I hadn’t taken the time to appreciate his outfit when he came in earlier. He quirked an eyebrow and he lost it in his fringe, which made me giggle.
Then the boys disappeared, dragging Geoffrey with them. I guess that meant I’d be seeing him at the party then but I wasn’t sure. The girls talked animatedly about outfits and whether it would be slutty to wear skirts in this weather. Jessie firmly believed it was whereas Alex was more forgiving and thought that it could be tasteful – if you did it right. And anyway, what was the point in going to a party if you weren’t going to let loose a little?
“Ok, so what about this one?” I said, stepping out of the closet in a hot pink low cut top and super-black skinny jeans. These were coupled with a pair of hot pink converse with black laces and a black leather jacket.
“Mmm, I think the jeans are a little short on you,” Alex mused, tugging on the ankle hems. “I didn’t think your legs would be longer than Louise’s. Turns out you’ve got a killer figure hiding under those baggy jeans and t-shirts. Who knew?”
“I don’t know about killer,” I mumbled, worried that the jeans were a little revealing. “Maybe a skirt then?”
“Ooh, now you’re talking! Here, put this one on and throw these knee high socks with it. And hurry up!”
I stripped out of the jeans as quickly as I could. Alex still had to do my make-up and I was beginning to remember why I didn’t go to parties. Gemma always made me dress up in a ridiculous outfit that made her look better and me like I had dressed in the dark. Clothes just didn’t look right on me. The skirt was a little – ok a lot – shorter than my usual knee length ones but even I had to admit it looked pretty badass. With the knee high socks and pink converse, the outfit looked hot and I took a double take in the mirror.
“I don’t…really look like me,” I said as I stepped out of the closet. Alex turned around and her jaw dropped. “I know, I should just put my jeans back on, right?”
“Oh, hell no, you get your ass in here. Louise, Jessie! You have to see this!” I went pink as they stepped into the room and whistled appreciatively. “Right? When we do her make-up, she is going to be the hottest girl at this party. Geoff is going to flip his nut.”
“I-is that bad?” I stammered, looking at each of them in turn, concerned. “I should get changed, it’s not really my kind of outfit.”
“Nuh-uh, you stay exactly the way you are,” Louise demanded, grabbing her phone and snapping a couple of pictures. “I want to preserve this for the rest of your life. Alex is right – nobody is going to be able to take their eyes off of you.”
* * *
I stood behind the other girls as we walked up to the party, my shyness getting the better of me. I didn’t want to be noticed, not really. But it was kind of nice that they kept telling me that I looked amazing and that boys were going to ‘lose their shit’ for me (Jessie’s words, not mine). The boys were standing outside Sabrina’s house and Geoffrey had taken the time to clean up and change into a really rude t-shirt with an actual shirt over the top. And he had changed into what must have been the holiest jeans in the world because I could see both of his knees.
“Well boys, are you ready to meet the new and improved Amy?” Alex announced, winking at me. “Be warned, I hear there’s this super jealous guy that’s into her so you’ll have to be careful if you want a piece.” The girls stepped aside so I could see everyone. Geoffrey, who had been standing up to get a better view, – and maybe shoot death glares at anyone who looked at anyone who looked at me funny – lost his footing as he stared at me and fell on his ass in front of the wall he’d been sitting on. “Well, I’d say we have a winner,” Alex whispered to me, grinning devilishly.
I hung back as everyone surged into the party, waiting for Geoffrey. He was still staring at me with an open mouth, his eyes extremely wide. I waited for a moment, expecting him to say something, but whenever he closed his mouth, he swallowed and then it just dropped open again. After two or three attempts and no results I became a little concerned.
“Are…you ok Geoffrey? You’re kind of zoning out on me,” I said, laughing nervously. His eyes snapped up to mine and he swallowed and cleared his throat again.
“I- uh- I’m, um, you’re really good,” he stuttered, his eyes roaming down my body again. “I mean, I’m good and you look really good. Fantastic, you look fantastic. I mean, really fantastic. And seriously hot. Did I mention ‘wow’?” He rambled, his neck burning red. He kept running his hands through his hair and that made me touch mine self-consciously. “And boy do I mean wow. Do you want to go in? We should probably go in. Shall we?”
I took his offered arm and smiled at him brightly. He stumbled and almost walked into the door frame but I pulled him towards me so that he just stumbled into me. It ended with him hanging over me whilst I was backed up against the door. “Shouldn’t you watch where you’re going?” I whispered, staring up into his eyes. His breath caught and my heart spluttered and kicked into overtime.
“Maybe you shouldn’t distract me,” he murmured back, his eyes looking down. I think at my lips. Or maybe into the extreme low-cleavage of my top. Oops. I held my breath, wondering what he was thinking but he cleared his throat and stepped back, his blush growing stronger. “They’re going to wonder what we’re doing out here, we should go in.”
I breathed an assent and flung the door open. The music hit us like a wave and I winced. It was loud! Louise and Alex were waving over at me frantically, trying to grab my attention but it looked like I had just about everyone’s attention. All the people near the door had stopped what they were doing to stare at Geoffrey and I as we walked in. It felt like one of those moments in a movie where the main character walks into a party and the music stops and everyone starts whispering. And all the guys start hitting on her and the guy she secretly likes, who is the hottest guy in school, discovers her and they start this total romance thing that will last for eternity and-
“Are we just going to stand in the doorway or are you going to let me dance with you?” I jumped a little, blushing again. I nodded and stepped into the room with him, letting the glow of people staring at me rush over me. I felt really alive, feeling my heart beat at my throat. We got to the centre of the room and Geoffrey stopped me, pulling me to him. “I thought you said you would dance with me,” he murmured, putting his arms around me and pulling me close.
It didn’t matter that the music was faster than us, he swayed me slowly, staring into my eyes and rubbing his hand on my lower back. My stomach was swirling and my breath was getting uneven and I think he could tell because his other hand was getting stuck in my hair. I think people were talking about us but all I could think was that I wanted him to kiss me. That I wanted to drag his face to mine and forget we were in public.
What was wrong with me? It had only been a day since he had told me he liked me and I was already thinking about kissing him until he was breathless and feeling him throw me against a wall. I was thinking about the way it would feel to have his muscular arms lift me up, hold me down and his hands-
“Mind if I cut in?” Came someone’s irritated voice and I leapt away from Geoffrey like I’d been electrocuted. My face glowed red and Geoffrey sounded out of breath which sent a shiver down my spine. Luke didn’t seem to find it as delicious as I did though. “Well?”
“Yeah, I do actually,” Geoffrey growled back, hooking his hand around my waist. “I was kind of enjoying that. Immensely.”
“Geoffrey,” I whispered, blushing again. I avoided looking Luke in the eye, holding onto Geoffrey’s hand. Geoffrey looked down at me, eyebrows raised and squeezed my hip. “Luke, can we not do this right now? We just came here to have some fun. You know, cut loose a little.”
“Is that why you’re dressing like-” he hesitated and lowered his voice. “Like a whore?”
There was a moment of silence around us where the only thing I could hear was thumping music and my own breathing. And then Geoffrey was holding him up by his shirt, putting his face right up against Luke’s. His face was contorted in rage and he was shaking. I couldn’t hear what he was saying to Luke but Luke did not look happy. Louise and the others had caught on that something was going down and were making their way across the dance floor.
“Geoffrey, stop it! Put him down, please!” I begged, holding onto his arm. Geoffrey flexed his biceps once and dropped him. Luke’s knees buckled under him and he fell flat on his ass. He jumped to his feet again, red and blotchy. My stomach turned again, unpleasantly this time. I held onto Geoffrey’s arm and he stood slightly in front of me, glaring at Luke. Sudden silence hit the room as someone killed the music.
“Look, I don’t know what the fuck is going on here, but you two are out. Like, now,” Sabrina demanded, pointing perfectly manicured fingers at Luke and Geoffrey. “It’s such a shame because you are looking exceptionally fine, Luke. But you know the rules: no fighting and no violence. Out.”
“Maybe if he hadn’t called my girl a whore,” Geoffrey said loudly and a collective murmur went around the room. “I wouldn’t have to teach him a lesson.”
“Your girl?” Luke laughed, pointing at me. “She is not your girl. Unless your girl likes making out with other guys.” My mouth dropped open and Louise stepped forward to say something. Only Sabrina got there first.
“I don’t care that you’ve both got a thing for the hottie there, you’re out. Now move before I call the cops and get you both arrested.”
“Geoffrey, let’s go,” I whispered, pulling on his hand. I was bright red and humiliated. My first party and it was a disaster and people were now going to be putting me in the same category as that slut Marigold. “Please, I just want to go.”
“Oh, sweetie, you don’t have to go,” Sabrina said, smiling. “In fact, I want to know everything about you! Please, stay. Talk to us a while?” When I didn’t say anything, she shook her head. “Well, ok then, just tell me your name?”
“Oh, come off it Sab, are you saying you don’t recognise Amy Martins?” Alex said loudly, which made the room explode into life again. “I mean, yeah, we cleaned her up a little but, dude, she was hot before too!”
“Come on, let’s get you out of here, before you start a riot,” Geoffrey murmured, pulling me through the throng of people. Luke followed on our heels, ignoring whatever people were saying about us. When we safely outside, he pulled me to the side, yanking me out of Geoffrey’s grip.
“Look, Ames, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I was just…a little jealous. You look amazing and I don’t think anyone else should get to look at you,” he rushed, looking determined. “And if Geoffrey hadn’t been treating you like a whore, I wouldn’t have gotten so mind.” When I stared at him nonplussed, he blew out some air in frustration. “Look, he was practically humping you on the dance floor. You don’t want a reputation like that, do you?”
“She doesn’t have a reputation like that, jackass,” Geoffrey hissed, getting between us. “Or she didn’t, until you started saying she just makes out with everyone! And in case you didn’t notice, she said she wanted to cut loose. So I’m going to help her do exactly that.”
And Geoffrey spun around, grabbing my hand and tugging me gently away. He held on, even when Luke started shouting after us, swearing at Geoffrey. Making a scene, I would normally say. I tried to make him stop but he was so angry that he couldn’t hear me, I guess. I eventually stopped him by pulling my hand out of his. Now that got his attention.
“I’m sorry,” he said, not turning around. “I know you wanted to go to your first party and everything would be perfect. It probably would have been, you know, if you’d been there with him. I don’t blame you if you want to go and hang out with everyone. Maybe dance with some people. I know I don’t get to say that you’re my girl,” he added, turning suddenly, looking at me desperately. He looked oddly small and alone right then, standing in the lamplight. “But I wanted to. I wanted to be on that dance floor with you, holding you a-and kissing you. I wanted you to walk into that party as my girlfriend. Then I’d be allowed to be mad at guys for noticing you.”
“N-noticing me?” I squeaked. But I knew what he meant. Wasn’t this exactly what Luke had said yesterday? That he hated that Geoffrey had noticed me. Right before he screamed that he liked me. I looked away.
“Yes, noticing you. Because it doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m doing, you’re always there. In my head, you’re smiling at me, you’re making me feel special, telling me everything about you. In my head,” he whispered, suddenly right in front of me, “this is normal. I kiss you, or you kiss me. And it’s normal.”
So I kissed him.