CHAPTER VII | WHAT'S A WOMAN?
Hush, there's no need to cry
Fresh water envelops me beautifully in one of the plenty shower stalls offered in the Scouting Legion Headquarters. The criminal's blood quickly makes its journey down my well form valleys of years of exercise. The fresh scent of coconut replaces the scent of death, vengeance and murder.
"Are you alright, sweetie?" Zack takes a seat on the bench. He lays a single foot on the concrete floor with his other resting on the rocky bench. He stares at the wall.
"Surprise. That's all." I look at Zack meanwhile scrubbing my knees. I have forgotten how handsome he really was. Zack Henderson was in his late thirties. He had a straight, high nose bridge that outlined well with his passionate light brown eyes. Always maintained his beard shaved allowing his thin lips become the masterpiece of his good looks. He was tall and masculine, but not to the extend of pulsing veins. Zack Henderson had the protector vibe I couldn't deny appreciating so dearly.
"How's it been, Zack?" I make conversation.
"Better than you, I see." He folds his arms to his chest and stares at me.
I send him a lopsided grin. "Well I am alive. Remember?" I wrap myself in a white towel and sit beside him, my back resting on his own.
"Hey." He looks over his shoulder. "You're fine." He waves my hands away from my thigh. "No one is going to see you there."
I pout. "Easy for you to say." I peruse for any unwanted hairs and look what I have here. "Darn. Missed one." I pull the hair with some tweezers a man invented luckily a few years back. "How stressing. Am I really a woman?"
"Divergent." Zack holds my hand, caressing my skin with his thumb. "You're hurting yourself." He stares at my thigh. I look at my thigh and notice a small amount of blood starting to appear. I've pressed the tweezers to my skin without noticing. "You're a woman. Trust me." He points to me, eyebrows raised in gesture to my feminine body parts.
"Well, I haven't seen a woman who has hair all over."
"A woman isn't defined by how much hair she has." Zack holds my chin. "Yours aren't as dark."
"But if they were coarse?" I remark.
"You'll be surprised how many men are attracted to such traits."
"Sure." I roll my eyes.
"A woman means to be mature." He holds my shoulders. "A real woman know their worth is beyond her physicality. A woman bases her value on her own intelligence, strength, integrity, values, contributions and her humanity."
"Those traits don't define me." I rise off the bench.
"You do my daughter." Zack pulls me to him. "It's there. You just have to accept your own flaw." He attempts to pick up a pair of fresh uniform laying on the bench. No luck again.
"Perhaps." I grab the clothes. "But my value and worth isn't being accepted but just based on beauty." I remind him.
"Those are no real men." Zack points to the distance. "They don't deserve a perfect woman such as you." He sighs. "There's someone out there who will accept you, Divergent."
I purse my lips. No there won't because there's no room for it. "There won't be Zack because we're in war and I chose to be part of it."
______
"No inner brain damage from the horse fall." An average tall nurse whose appearance sums up to be in her early thirties, briefly clarifies my inquiries. "However-" She scans my head again. "- there is a bump due to the fall. Nothing severe. But do remember to add ice to it."
"And my eyes?" I swing my feet like a small child will do.
"They may relate to stress, exhaustion, overworking your body to much or lack of eating."
"Are you certain those symptoms justify the haze in her eyes?" Levi questions, clearly exhausted himself.
"How's your vision?" The nurse asks me.
"Perfect last time I checked."
"Then I can't really lay out a clear explanation for your eyes. You'll have to see another person who is specialized in this area."
"Any medication?"
"Simple." She shoves back her utensils back on her drawer. "Rest. Eat. Meditate. And smile more Divergent." She pats my shoulder.
"Athena."
She laughs as soon as I correct her. "Zack was right when he told me that nickname was off restrictions."
"Zack?" I raise a brow. "You knew him?"
"I'm her sister." She smiles softly.
"Meet me in my office when you're done." Levi leaves us alone in the infirmary.
"Wait that means you're..."
"Alexandra Henderson." She finishes my sentence.
"Alexandra." I repeat to myself. "I'm sorry." I bow to her immediately from where I'm sitting at.
"Oh dear." She propels me upward. "Why are you apologizing?" She lifts my face with so much care. "It wasn't your fault." She whispers. I then realize the light brown eyes, fair complexion, straight high bridge nose and black hair. "He always talked about you. Always praising you for every single improvement you made." She chuckles. "Even when you finally learned to make him his favorite coffee." I laugh without noticing. "He treated you like a daughter he never had. He loved you." She caresses my brunette hair. "I see why now."
"What do you see?"
"Your strength and confidence in saving others surrounds your persona but you have a sad story deep inside whenever I look in your pretty green eyes. Zack told me about your insecurity as a woman." She pokes my chest.
"He told you?" I say in disbelief.
"A woman isn't defined but such things Divergent." Her words soothed me. "Such characteristics as in beauty and smoothness are immature girls who only think of such things to attractive others. A woman respects herself. You clearly do."
"Then there are no man here." I lower my head.
"There will be one, don't you think low of yourself." She shakes her head.
"I...have to go." I point towards the door with my thumbs.
"Well take care." Alexandria fixes her ponytail. "Don't want your Captain to start worrying, would you?"
"He'll be impatient rather than worry." I walk to the door.
"First time I've seen the Captain accompany a soldier inside the infirmary. I tell you that."
I halt my steps. "Perhaps he's curious if I'll be able to make it to his squad in all pieces."
"If you say so." She chortles.
"You found my sister?" Zack materializes beside me, eyes glued to Alexandria. I turn to leave and look behind my shoulder. Zack watches her closely as of his sister were a mysterious beauty of light anyone cannot disregard.
______
The owls have awaken a few hours ago and I'm still awake and busy; even after returning from an expedition. Stupendous. I still have to meet Levi back in his office for whatever the reason it may be. The Commander is clearly sound asleep. His snores faintly resonate outside his bedroom door.
I veer towards a corner leading to Levi's office. Yet, stop short when my rear end lands on the floorboard. I rub my hip. "What the?"
"Athena." My eyes land on the man who confessed his love for me, that did not last enough. James reaches for the rescue. I bat his hands away from me.
"I need not of your assistance." I rest my right palm on the floor to get up. "Especially from you." I shove past him.
"Divergent." He steps in front of me.
"Don't Divergent me." I berate him, pointing him a finger. "Is your brain that witless to understand Divergent isn't worthy from your tongue."
"I'm sorry for hurting you." He ignores my remark.
"Hurt me?" I smile in disbelief. "You have no clue to what you're saying." I stare off to the hall and stretch my hand to it. "So if you excuse me." I close my eyes and release an exhausted sigh. "The Commander's right hand is waiting for me in the moment."
"Right hand?" He arches a brow.
"Captain Levi." I suppress a groan of irritation. "I should make haste before he grows impatient." I tap my foot, waiting for him to move aside.
He lowers his head as in shame, confessing in a solemn whisper. "I truly apologize in heart." He moves aside and leaves towards the direction I came from. He might have apologize by heart but his actions will not be forgiven so easily. Laughing at the humiliation I went through months ago wasn't a nice thing to do James.
I enter the Captain's office, closing the door as instructed by him, and seat on the ravishing and pleasant chair. I rummage inside my pockets for my golden watch. The clock reads 9:45 p.m.
"It's late. I know." Levi runs his fingers through his raven strands of hair. He slides a paper from across the desk. "I need your signature for the transfer."
I yawn. "Couldn't we have done this tomorrow?"
"I need it by tonight." He delicately shoves ink and an elegant violet speedball pen embellished in golden flowers, next to the paper. I briefly study Levi's meticulous calligraphy on the bottom of the contract, equivalent to Levi's pristine aroma.
I tug a strand of my hair behind my ear, a sign of drowsiness. I fill the tip of the pen with black ink and proceed to sign. My vision blurs for a second in a static motion. Perhaps in need for a rest.
"Hey." Levi rests his hand on my wrists. "You alright?" He kneels next to me.
"I'm fine." I focus on the paper to catch my signature half displayed with a huge scribble in the end. I hit my forehead against the desk. "There goes a pretty calligraphy."
"Didn't the nurse prescribe you with any type of medication that doesn't relate to meditation?"
"No." I rise from the chair. "I need the comfort of my bedsheets and I'll be recharged with energy by tomorrow morning."
"Certain?" He touches my side head where my bump is.
"Watch it." A shrilling pain evaporates like lightning bulbs around my numb head. I wince at his touch. Hiss at the pain. "Make the pain stop." I plea hopelessly in silence. The waves of chaos stab without mercy leaving me on the floor in agony. My hands hold onto the side of my head like if it were the only way to keep my head from falling off. Sweat begins to emerge out of my pores. Or is it some other substance. The wet feeling too dense and warm. I remove my hands from my head. Blood slither down the heels of my palms. "Why am I bleeding?" I ask in confusion, backing away in frantic terror.
"There's no blood." Levi assures me. I focus on my hands again to see indeed no signs of blood. No trace of it. Not a single stain. Am I hallucinating?
"I need to rest." I force myself upright. Levi hugs my waist to prevent me from falling. I heave deep breathes onto his shoulder. "Take me to my room." I whisper.
"I hope the fall didn't cause serious damage to your head." Levi mumbles before sleep wins me once again.