|alissa|
I woke up looking around to find my vlog camera. I saw it lying on the ground and just starred at it. I decided today just wasn't the day to vlog and got up getting ready. I walked out of my room and bumped into a solid figure. I looked up into Jake's eyes and froze. I walked straight passed him before he grabbed my wrist stopping me.
"Alissa please talk to me" he said as my back was still facing him. He sounded so sad and miserable
"There isn't anything to talk about jake" I said below a whisper
"Yes there is" he demanded spinning me around to face him. He starred into my eyes trying to get an answer..... an answer he would never find.
"Just tell me what you're thinking...." He trailed off stepping a little closer to me
"I did a lot of thinking-" I said looking down at my hands then back at him before continuing, he had a look of hope on his face. Soon I would crush it all.
"I say we just forget about it all... act like it didn't even happen" I said truthfully, his face fell and he looked shocked.
"Y-yea I was thinking the same t-thing" he said awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. He quickly walked off to his room closing the door. Well that was weird...
———later that night———
Logan had invited a lot of us around for a small gathering. I had just finished in the shower and started to get ready. I just put on a burgundy top with some black skinny jeans and some cute heels. I put a choker on and styled my hair half up half down. I finished applying my makeup before taking a quick snap for the gram and then walking out to meet everyone.
"So we are heading over to-" jake was filming on his camera and I thought it would be the best time to clear the air. I ran up behind him jumping on him from behind.
"And here's alissa" he said as I had my arms around him smiling at the camera
"Hello!" I said drawing out the 'o'
"We are #jalissa" he joked and I laughed
"Omg just date already" I joked remembering some of there comments they had on our videos
"But guys we are just friends" he said ask let go of him
"Or are we?" He said closer to the camera before I slapped him. It was good that there was no awkward tension between us anymore.
We all made our way out of the house and to the van so we could head to Logan's apartment. We arrived at his apartment complex and made our way inside and up the elevator.
Jake has his camera out and everyone stayed silent as he filmed. A few seconds later we all started bouncing about making funny noises before we all stopped and froze. The doors of the elevator opened and we acted like nothing happened before bursted out laughing making our way down the hall. We arrived at Logan's door and just let ourselves in knowing that it would be unlocked.
"The party don't start till I walk in!" Tristan sang as he walked in posing. Tess and I both laughed at him saying hello to everyone. All together there was around 15 maybe 20 of us here. There was George, Johannes, Lele, Amanda, King Bach and Juanpa.
Tessa and I grabbed some drinks before sitting down on the comfy love seats Logan had around his apartment. Jake came and sat right next to me on the same one putting his arm around me as we all started talking with everyone who had sat down.
|jake|
Everyone once in a while I would look down at Alissa to see her either smiling or laughing. She was so cute when she laughed. And her smile! Og my god her smile made me weak. I got up walking into the small kitchen to grab another drink when Logan came up to me.
"Hey bro" I said with a smile
"Hey little bro" he said ruffling my hair around smiling like crazy.... A little crazier than usual. I raised an eyebrow at him confused.
"What is it?" I asked wanting to cute straight to the point
"What is what?" He said clueless smiling again
"You are acting crazier than usual" I said folding my arms over my chest
"Maybe because you like alissa" he said with a smirk
"Pft no I don't" I said shaking my head before pouring myself a drink
"Ahhh yea ya do" he said even louder
"Can you keep it down" I said shushing him
"So you do!' He whispered
"And so what if I did" I said
"Naw how cute" Logan said and I punched him in the shoulder
"Doesn't matter anyway... she doesn't like me" I said looking over at alissa. She was laughing at one of Juanpa's jokes. Why could she laugh at my jokes like that.
"How couldn't she like you?!" Logan said
"It's fine Logan-" I said blunty
"Just drop it" I said moving past him to go sit back down.
The rest of the night was a lot of fun. We left and made our way back home. We all walked in making our way up to our rooms. I knocked on Alissa's door and heard her hum for me to come in. I opened the door seeing her sat in bed with her laptop as she looked up at me.
"Hey" I said walking over to her bed and sitting on the edge
"What ya need" she said playfully
"Oh I was just coming in to say hi.... And wondering if you could tell me what happened yesterday" I said and she froze in place
"What about yesterday?" She asked typing away on her laptop
"When you ran out" I said
As I laughed falling on the ground she surfaced.
"I hate you!" She screamed at me as all I did was laugh. I could even feel tears forming in my eyes,
"Well we had to break the tension some how?" I said before bursting out laughing as well as everyone else
"Hey what are those-" I trailed off pointing at her side. They were large marks down her side, from her shoulder to her hip.
She quickly got up running out of the pool and to her room. I just stood in confusion as everyone else did.
"It's nothing" she said closing her laptop and walking over to her dresser
"If it's nothing you can tell me" I said facing her
"it's none of your business" she said back brushing out her hair
"We don't keep secrets in this house-" I started to say before she cut me off
"Just leave it jake" she snapped facing me
"No! I'm not just going to leave it" I said
"Jake get out!" She said pointing to the door
"Alissa tell me!" I said back standing up and looking at her. You could see the tears forming in her eyes which broke me
"Get the fuck" she said through gritted teeth. It took everything in me not to protest against her but I stormed out of her room and into mine hearing her door slam shut. I heard Tessa running up the stairs and she flung my door open.
"What the hell is going on?!" She asked
"How about you go ask her?! Maybe she might tell you huh!" I shouted back out of frustration regretting it as soon as I said it. Tessa looked taken back before running out of my room. I sat on my bed, head in my hands thinking about the horrible person I am.
|alissa|
I slammed the door shut and kicked it with frustration. I yelped in pain before turning around and sliding down the door pulling my knees close to my chest. I could feel the warm tears running down my face as I wrapped my arms around my legs. Why did everything have to be so hard?
I don't remember what it's like to not feel broken....
Light knocking at my door made my head shoot up.
"Alissa it's just me" I could hear Tessa's voice through the door. I stood up slowly unlocking the door and opening it to see Tessa standing there.
She quickly came in locking the door and then came straight to hug me. Tears streamed down my face as I hugged her back.
"Come on let's sit" she said leading me to my bed. I wiped my tired eyes before sitting next to her.
"If you don't want to tell me that's ok-" she started to say but I stopped her
"It's okay... you were going to find out one way or another" I said. She smiled let me to continue to speak
"I was abused" I said and she had a shocked expression on her face.
"I was 18 years old and I had just gotten into my first relationship. He was a tall blonde.... He had amazing hazel eyes and he was one of the most popular guys in school" I smiled looking down at my hands, remembering the good old times
"He was nothing but kind towards me. He made sure I was loved and appreciated. He never left me out..... and he was also the guy that took my virginity. He began bragging to everyone that he was my first.... I thought it was something that all guys did and didn't really look into it much. Later on I heard rumours that he had been cheating on me with my bestfriend" I trailed off taking a deep breathe
"The next day she didn't talk to me. Not a word. She acted like I wasn't there" I said as she looked at me, her face had no emotion but she held my hand reassuring me
"It's kinda fucked up isn't it? How all of a sudden, someone just wakes up and decides to never talk t you again. No reason. No explanation. No words said. They just leave you hanging like you never meant shit to them, and what hurts the most is how they made it look so easy" I said out of frustration
"Well she did sleep with him.... I tried breaking up with my so called 'boyfriend' but he wouldn't let me. He said I was nothing without him... I was worthless and a low life without him. And the worst part was.... I believed every single word he said. So I stayed with him even though I shouldn't have.. I did. Because I thought I wouldn't survive without him. One day he was so drunk that he lashed out on me.. he hit me and beat me until I was knocked out cold. But I still didn't leave him. To him it was all just a game... 'let's see when she breaks'. Oh I broke. That's what all these's scars are..." I said as lifted up my top. She looked at me tears in her eyes
"And thats not all of them" I said turning my back to her. I lifted up my top showing her the few scars there as well
"D-do you they still hurt?" She asked as I turned back around
"Not as much as they use to" I said before continuing
"One night I couldn't take... I left him without a word. Packed up all my stuff and moved out here" I said
"There was nothing worse than putting all my effort into someone I thought I loved... and having it all end up so wrong." I said
"That's why I can't trust anyone... I can't fall in love again to end up back where I was. I won't go back" I said
"I'm so sorry" Tessa said pulling me into a hug
"I have survived, I am here. Confused, screwed up... but here" I said pulling away
Loving him was a sacrifice, you know.... I gave him the power to destroy me, and that's exactly what he did....
__
30+ reads 6+ votes
__
a/n
SORRY IF THERE ARE TONES OF MISTAKES!!!!!
but hey it was a long chapterrrrrrrrrrrr :))) you're welcome
thankyou for your reads, votes and comments! I love ya'll so much<3
I just nearly pissed my pants because my phone vibrated and scared me so much:(((((((( but I'm okay!
it's 5pm where I am! whats the time where you are in the world?