16.
It takes Oliver four tries to knock on the front door successfully; the only reason he manages it the fourth time around is because he trips over his own feet as he steps forward, forcing his curled up fist into the object that stands before him. He tightens his grip around the presents' that he has safely tucked under his arm and waits for the door to open, counting the moments with bated breath.
It does open, about two minutes later (roughly 118 seconds, he thinks), when Oliver is about to give up and go home.
"Sorry... Nobody heard the buzzer. Everyone's out on the roof!"
Oliver can't speak. He can't speak, he can't move, he can't breathe and for a moment he thinks he might actually be sick. Words bubble and die in his throat, but there appears to be nothing he can do to get them out, out into the open- they’re suffocating.
"Well... Who is it?"
Oliver takes a step forward, only realising he has reached out his hand when the present falls to the floor with a muffled 'thud.'
"Jesus Christ! What was that?! You know, this isn't funny. If you're trying to sell something, I don't understand why the doormen let you up here so please, it's my so- my godson's birthday and we're all trying-”
"James!" Oliver says frantically, although he has so many words on his tongue because he doesn't quite believe it- so many questions and accusations fly through his head:
Why did nobody tell me, how are you alive, why don't you recognise me, what happened to you, when did you wake up, why won’t you look me in the eye...
"Oliver?” James sounds confused, his brow furrows and he takes a shaky step forward, “Ollie... Is that... You... Oll..."
"Oh."
James spins around to try and find the source of the new voice, but his knees seem to buckle and he sways dangerously. Both Oliver and Becca rush towards him, desperately trying to steady their friend.
"Stupid, bloody legs!" James exclaims forlornly, struggling out of their grip, a humiliated blush creeping up his neck and staining his cheeks.
Becca hands him the crutch that has been leaning, neglected against the doorframe and pats him gently on the back.
"Go and find Aims," she tells him softly.
"But-"
"James. Go and help her with Josh. I'll bring Ollie out in a minute."
James sighs, somewhat sadly, before turning to face Oliver. He doesn't quite look him in the eye, his gaze falling to a point on Oliver's nose.
"Good to see you mate," he tries to smile, "well... yeah. See. Ha, yeah... I'll see- I'll talk to you later."
With that, the blonde haired man turns and walks unsteadily towards the balcony.
As soon as he is out of sight, Oliver crumples; he slumps against the wall, bringing his head into his hands to clutch at his hair.
"He... Becca... Bec, he can't..."
Becca nods.
"It hasn't been easy," she murmurs softly, looking down, fringe falling into her eyes, "not easy at all. He has a detached retina in one eye... completely blind. The doctors weren't sure about the other... He had a hyphema when he was in the coma but they thought they caught it early enough to stop any blindness... But I don't know, they think maybe it's just from the trauma or something. He hates what he's become. He refused to watch ‘The Noble Art of Living’ when it aired; he almost broke the television out of anger… He can't see. He is almost completely blind. Add that to the fact that he was in that coma for over a year... He's supposed to be in a wheelchair but the bastard is too stubborn."
She laughs slightly before continuing.
"But that's always been James hasn't it? Thinks he's too macho to show any sign of weakness. Although we tried to tell him it wasn't weak, he just... He just doesn't know what to do with himself, he-"
Oliver shakes his head, unable to hear anymore. He straightens up and gathers Becca into a tight embrace, cutting her off mid-sentence.
"I'm sorry I left," he whispers, "I'm sorry..."
Becca clutches at his old jumper.
"It has been horrendous," she cries quietly, dabbing at her eyes with her sleeve, "absolutely horrible. I had to come and find you. I... I had to. Brian, the man I was seeing, he looked just like you. And then Josh called him daddy... I thought Amy was going to kill someone. She shouted and cried and... It was horrible."
Oliver sniffs through his own tears and clasps one of his hands tight around her shoulders.
"I'm here now," he says, "I'm here and I’m... I’m going to be better. Everything is going to be better."
Becca gives a shaky laugh;
"You can tell you've been back in Ireland- your accent is thicker than ever."
He laughs then, a proper laugh, before shaking his head slowly, his small smile fading slightly. He runs his hand through his newly cut hair and bites down on his lower lip.
"So... Aims... Is she... You know... Her and James?"
Becca's eyes widen almost comically.
"You really do make me wonder sometimes," she says fondly, "really. He knows that he is Josh's... biological father, but he would never take your place as his daddy. She's missed you. A lot."
Oliver can't help the grin that spreads across his face.
"She... She still wants me? How is she?"
"Why don't you come and ask me yourself you great moron instead of chatting up my friend?"
Oliver jumps, but turns slowly, holding his breath. Becca mumbles her excuses wearing a sly expression and leaves them alone to find Joshua and James.
"Amabelle..."
Oliver can't even think.
She looks beautiful, healthy, wonderful, her hair hanging loose past her shoulders.
"I weigh more now," he blurts out, flushing red as Amy laughs. Oliver exhales, looking up at her through dark lashes, cheekbones tinted with colour, teeth worrying the inside of his cheek.
"Come here," she says softly and Oliver doesn’t even have to think before he walks into her arms. She's still tiny, still petite, her hair still smells of the floral shampoo she has always used, she's everything he has missed, remembered and more.
"I'm sorry," he chokes out, "I left you, I'm sorry, never again, I love you, I-"
Amy cuts him off, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth.
"Oh." Oliver mumbles, "oh."
The next kiss is deeper, with a hit of desperation and Oliver tangles his long fingers in her hair, losing himself in the moment and the truth that finally, after all this time, he is home.
-x-
"You little monster!" James is yelling, before hurling a cushion in the vague direction of the squealing toddler.
"Joshua James Luke, come here!"
Josh laughs and James leans back into the sofa, still smiling at his godson.
"Missed," Joshua grins before climbing up onto James's lap and sticking his thumb into his mouth, twirling the tassels of the cushion round and round his tiny fingers.
"Honestly James, you managed to tire him out already?" Amy asks, as she enters the living area.
"Mummy! Mummy, James threw a cushion at me," Josh giggles, "but he missed. He always misses."
“Alright, alright Joshy don’t make fun of an old man. You move way too fast for me,” James says, “so fast, you’re just a blur!”
Amy smiles at James before pulling Josh into a sitting position, so he is perching on the end of James’s knee.
"Baby, there's someone waiting for you in Mummy's room," she says softly, "You want to come and see?"
Josh launches himself into Amy's arms, catching her off guard and causing her to stumble, but she quickly recovers and she turns back to James, ruffling his hair.
"You alright here, J?" she asks.
"Yeah. Is Rebecca still around? I didn’t hear her leave."
"Yeah, she’s pottering around the kitchen. I’ll be back in a bit love, won't be a second."
Amy places her son down before opening the door to her room.
"You ready little man?"
Josh nods eagerly.
Neither Amy nor Oliver will forget Joshua's face when he sets eyes on his Daddy for the first time in what feels like forever. His mouth drops, eyes widen and he lets out a shout of glee before tackling his father onto the bed in a bundle of fizzy energy and pure, untainted happiness.
Amy lets out a choked laugh around the lump of emotion in her throat, watching as Joshua clings to Oliver, both of them laughing and crying, tears streaming down their faces.
"I still speak like you!" Josh says proudly; his words still have the soft edge that he received from Oliver when he had been learning to speak. Oliver is crying so hard he can’t talk and Josh throws his arms around his neck, nuzzling the skin there with his forehead.
“I missed you Daddy,” he whispers, “don’t leave us again.”
Oliver looks up at Amy, his eyes begging for forgiveness, his hand cupping the back of his son’s head, clasping the tiny boy to his chest. Amy walks over to the bed and sits down next to them.
“Me and Mummy cried for you, didn’t we Mummy?” Josh says solemnly, looking up at Amy with his wide, blue eyes. She can only nod and swallow thickly, squeezing her baby’s tiny hand in hers. Oliver first presses a gentle kiss to Josh’s nose, then to Amy’s cheek, wrapping his arm around her.
“I’ll never leave you,” he promises over and over, “never again. Never ever again.”
-x-
James and Becca watch through the crack in the door, crying their own tears. Although he can’t see, James can hear every word that is being said, and it makes his heart ache with loneliness, but also with elation. He looks at Becca with his broken eyes and in his mind, he can imagine her smiling back at him; the first genuine smile that has graced her features in a long while and he can see it so clearly in his mind’s eye that it almost seems real.
He can feel the relief and love seeping through every room in the house and he can’t help but be swept up by it; he will love Amy, he always has done and he always will- but some things… sometimes, he thinks, you must let go of the ones you love in order to let happiness take over.
“Everything’s going to be okay now isn’t it?” he whispers, leaning on his crutch for support, wincing as his legs groan in protest; it hurts and it will do for the foreseeable future, but he has had his heart ripped to shreds and pieced back together again, he can deal with restoring the broken memories and building up the lost muscle. It will be easy in comparison, textbook.
Becca doesn’t seem to reply, so he repeats her name.
“Sorry love, I... I nodded,” she says sadly, “I’m sorry.”
James laughs softly, almost inaudibly, shaking his head and biting down on the corner of his lower lip.
Yes, he thinks, everything is going to be okay.
~fin~