I skipped art that morning, mostly because of Mason. Well, totally because of Mason. My logic was that if I didn't come into contact with him, the weird feelings would go away. I was actually pretty annoyed with myself after, because I needed to stop skipping so often. That didn't stop me from skipping physics—my fourth period—as well.
Pathetic, I know.
I was tempted to skip seventh, but at lunch Marcella threatened to castrate me if I did. Apparently we were turning in the project today; I didn't know why that involved me, they could turn it in on their own. When I argued this to Cella, she didn't budge. .
As I stepped into drama, my fears were confirmed.
Instead of that irritation I usually felt when in the same room as Mason, I felt a sort of warm feeling, just like what I'd felt when we were talking alone in the forest. It was accompanied by a little tug in my stomach, a little feeling of attraction. It was nice—pleasant, even.
I hated it.
Mason's head shot up from where he sat on the other side of the room. His eyes instantly met mine, and that was how I knew he'd felt the same thing. Definitely not a good sign.
I rushed over to my seat, stumbling over the leg of someone else's desk as I went. Unfortunately, the little slip didn't go unnoticed. Kieran Callisto didn't trip.
"Pull yourself together," I mumbled to myself as I plopped down in my seat, looking down in embarrassment. I felt a hand on my arm and looked up to see Marcella leaning over in her seat, her eyebrows furrowed with worry.
"You alright, K?" She whispered. "And where've you been all day?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. I wasn't fine. Just talking to Cella, I felt sick to my stomach with guilt. "I just didn't feel like being around your little boy toy," at least that part was true.
"Boyfriend," Mason said pointedly. He didn't spare me a glance, looking straight ahead when he said it. The effect was the same, though—I felt anger swirling through my chest. So he was going to be petty? Two could play at that game.
At least I could still be angry with him. I guess some things never changed. And, hopefully, they never would. I'd had enough change in the past three days to last me a lifetime.
Marcella blushed and smiled nervously. "Yeah, boyfriend," a small giggle accompanied her words, causing me to inwardly roll my eyes. If only she knew the truth about her bae.
I shot Mason a glare, and was actually relieved when he returned it. Maybe ending this whole thing wouldn't be too hard. It was just a kiss, anyways. And, despite the continuing draw to him I felt, my opinions of Mason obviously hadn't changed too drastically.
"And what a splendid boyfriend you are!" I said, coating my voice in sugar. "I mean, just look at him! He's the total package, isn't he?" Alarm sparkled in Mason's eyes, causing my smile to turn to a smirk. "He's cute—ugh, those eyes! And that hair? I just wanna run a hand through it. Not to mention he's tall, tanned, and built like a soccer player. Soccer bodies are just drool-worthy, aren't they?"
The sarcasm was evident in my voice. Mason's neck was starting to turn red. "K...what're you going on about?" Marcella asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Why, Mason, of course!" I exclaimed. "And I wasn't done, don't interrupt, silly! Now, where was I? Oh yeah, he's quite a sight to see, isn't he? Not just that, he's so boyfriend material! He's sweet, and funny, and not to mention that he's totally loyal! That's one guy that you'll never have to worry about cheating on you, or even looking at someone else."
Mason was blushing up to his ears now, and his eyes were wide. He glanced back and forth between me and Cella nervously, but his girlfriend was too busy staring at me like I'd grown a third head to catch my drift. "Um, Kieran, you alright?"
"I'm great!" I chirped, grinning from ear to ear. Cella was starting to look kind of creeped out, and she glanced back at Mason questioningly. He shrugged quickly—a little too quickly. While Marcella wasn't looking at me, my smile turned lopsided and I gave Mason a look that said there's more where that came from.
Nobody messed with my best friend. Though I had to admit, it didn't feel as good as I'd expected. Stupid Mason with his stupid awesome kissing skills and really soft hair and pretty face and dammit.
"Hey Kieran?" Mason had recovered, and I had to admit I was a little frightened when his alarmed expression turned mischievous.
"Hm?" I hummed hesitantly, narrowing my eyes in Mason's direction.
"I have a friend on the Cheerleading team—Maria," he trailed.
"And...?"
"And rumor has it, she likes you," Mason smirked "but you didn't hear it from me. Anyways, she was wondering if you'd want to do a little double date with Cella and I. What do you say?"
"No."
I figured that was the end of the conversation, but Mason's still-confident expression told me it wasn't.
"Wait, it could be a good idea," Marcella chimed in. I felt my jaw drop as I stared at her.
"What?" I hissed. "Cella, since when do you like the cheerleaders? Back me up here, come on."
"Oh, but I've heard that Maria is the nice one out of the lot of them," Marcella put her hands together in a begging gesture. "Please, K? I could really use a girl friend, there are way to many guys in my life right now, and not enough ladies, what with Deborah gone. I know you don't do double dates, or dates in general, but do this one for me, please?"
I laughed nervously. "Um, Cella," I stalled, trying to think of a solid argument. I straightened in my seat as one came to mind. "I'm gay, remember?" Sure, Mason knew that I wasn't gay, but Cella didn't know that he knew.
Marcella's eyes widened as she remembered our little lie. "Oh, right," she laughed unconvincingly, "I forgot."
"Nonsense, you told me you weren't really gay," Mason said, shooting me a big fat fake smile.
Marcella furrowed her eyebrows in evident surprise. "You did?"
Well. I guess she knew now.
Why did I think that would work?
"Oh, ha-ha," I said through gritted teeth. "Yeah, I totally forgot. Who's feelin homo? Not this guy! Kieran Callisto is my name, and being hetero is my game. King of the hets, they call me. Ha ha."
The disappointment receded from Cella's expression and she grew excited again. "Well then, you'll go, right?"
It was safe to say that I knew Marcella Gibson pretty darn well. She was never this pushy unless she really wanted something. With all the guilt weighing on my shoulders for making out with her boyfriend, I couldn't find it in me to say no.
Seriously, where's the teacher when you need her? Did Mrs. Jenkins not hear us talking? We were being pretty loud. I would seriously appreciate it if she chose now to tell us to shut up.
I waited. Nothing.
Someone stab me with a dull spork, maybe?
Nothing.
"Fine," I huffed reluctantly.
"Yes!" Cella cheered. "I promise it's a one time thing! You won't regret it!"
If it was anything like my last one-time-thing, yes I would. Lesson learned: when it came to Mason Kane, I couldn't fight fire with fire. Or in this case, pettiness with pettiness.
***
Of course they decided to go to a fucking restaurant. Mason's decision, no doubt.
Maria was surprisingly not that bad. She was a beautiful girl, brown-skinned and dark-eyed, with a shocking head of cherry-red hair. She spoke with a feathery, kind voice and a lilt to her words, the mark of a fading accent. Brazilian, she'd said.
Luckily for me, she and Cella got along right away. During the car ride they paid more attention to each other than their dates, which meant that I didn't have to talk to her too much.
Unluckily for me, that left Mason as the only person to talk to. Needless to say, we didn't do much talking. Or any.
The restaurant we went to was pretty fancy, so we all had to dress nice. And, as much as I hated to admit it, Mason looked really good in a blazer. I had two beautiful women I could be focusing on, but my eyes kept trailing back to him.
I swear, they had a mind of their own.
When we got to the restaurant, the girls went into date mode and Maria, to my despair, gave me her attention. I didn't have anything against her, but she was flirting with me a lot—since this was a date and all—and it made me uncomfortable. The worst part wasn't Maria flirting with me though. It was Mason and Cella.
I would never say it out loud, but I was jealous. Watching Mason and Marcella act like a couple made my insides burn with envy, and the worst part was, I wasn't sure who I was jealous of.
When the waiter came around to take our orders and I said that I didn't want anything, Maria turned to me worriedly.
"Oh, are you sure?" She asked, putting a small hand on my arm. I fought the urge to shrug it off. "If money's a problem, I can pay for your meal," she offered.
She was so nice, I actually felt kind of bad for going on this date with her. She probably thought I was into her. "No, money's not a problem," I reassured. "I didn't realize we were going out to eat until like thirty minutes before we left, so I just ate a really big dinner. I'll still help with the bill, though."
I glanced over at Mason, who had surprise written all over his face. Didn't expect me to be so polite, huh? Well, joke's on you.
Actually, I'm still on this date. Joke's on me.
After the waiter left, Maria turned to me with her perfect smile. "So," she batted her crazy long eyelashes. "I was pretty surprised when I found out you wanted to take me on this date, Kieran. I mean, I've always thought you were intriguing, but I never realized that you liked me," Maria giggled. "It was a surprise for sure, but I'm really happy. You're much more of a gentleman than you let on."
I only heard half of what she said. I tuned out after "I never realized that you liked me."
I wanted to take her out? I liked her? I shot Mason a look to see that he had a big smirk on his face. That little bastard.
"...Right," I said slowly. "Right, yeah. Me too. You're, um, great."
Maria's smile widened. "You think so? Awe, you're so sweet! Actually, you know, I just remembered," oh no, "Blake's hosting one of his famous Halloween parties this year. You should come, and bring Cella and Mason with you!"
I blinked, my brain working on overdrive to formulate an excuse. "We weren't invited."
"Oh, you don't have to be. As long as you're in a good costume—Blake takes Halloween seriously, so no half-assing—you can get in."
When I made no move to respond, Cella did it for me. "We'd love to!" She said.
Maria's blue eyes glimmered with glee. "I actually haven't figured out my costume yet...oh em gee! Cella, we should totally do couples costumes! You and Mason and me and Kieran!"
I gulped. Couples?
Marcella squealed, practically beaming at Maria. "Oh, we so should!" She turned to Mason. "What do you think?"
Mason grinned nonchalantly and nodded, "I'm down for anything."
"And you?" She looked at me expectantly.
Through gritted teeth I said, "Sure."
I hated how fake I was being for this stupid date. If it wasn't for Cella and how much this meant to her, I would never have agreed to that. Hell, I wouldn't have agreed to this tragic date in the first place. Now Maria thought we were some kind of couple, and, from the looks of it, that wouldn't be changing anytime soon.
I wasn't usually so much of a push over, not even for Marcella. If I really didn't want to do something, I put my foot down and refused. Some people called it stubbornness, I called it honesty. It was how I'd rejected so many girls in the past, even if it hurt them a little. I was known for being brutally honest, and that was what scared people the most about me.
Yet there I was, being dishonest and fake. I was lying straight to Maria's face. I was pretending to be someone I wasn't. All because I felt like I owed it to Marcella for the whole Mason thing. She didn't even know that I made out with her boyfriend, but I still had to make it up to her somehow.
I just didn't realize it would be so excruciating.
"You don't look too good," Maria said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Maybe you should eat something."
I shook my head. "No, it's fine, I'm just...tired." Marcella cocked an eyebrow at me. I didn't get tired, and she knew it. "I'm going to go and freshen up. I'll be right back."
"You know, usually when people say they'll be right back, it means they'll take two or three minutes."
I looked up to see Mason leaning against the bathroom wall, gazing at me expectantly.
"What do you want from me?" I asked. There was no snap in my voice—I was completely deflated.
"You've been in here 'freshening up' for fifteen minutes. The girls are worried about you; Maria thinks she did something wrong," Mason said, shrugging.
"No, I mean what do you want from me," I repeated. "This whole date thing—what are you trying to get from me? You lied to me, you lied to Maria, you lied to Marcella. Is that all you do? Lie?"
Mason growled, and this time I understood where the animalistic sound came from. "Oh, because you're so perfect? You're—"
"You know what?" I snapped, throwing my hands into the air in exasperation. "I'm so sick of you playing the victim! It's fucking unfair! You're a manipulative cheating liar, and yet you always manage to make me look like the bad guy! You can't pull the whole 'you started it' thing. Not anymore. When I have a problem with someone, I take it out with that person. But you—you use everyone around you to make that person feel like shit. You're using Marcella, dating her when you clearly don't like her. You're using Maria, giving her false hope that I'm interested in her, and for what? Because you can't handle rejection? Because I poked fun at you in drama class? Grow up, Mason. Fight your own fucking battles."
To my complete surprise, Mason lowered his head in shame. "I know," his voice was hardly a whisper. "Do you really think I don't realize what I do? Do you really think I mean to do it? Do you really think I don't fucking hate myself for it every day?"
I felt an annoying pang of pity and the instant urge to comfort him. I shoved it down, however, and kept the glare on my face as I waited for him to continue.
Mason took a deep breath through his nose and softly said, "I don't mean to hurt anyone, you know. I have an Alpha Complex—it's a real thing, comes with being the alpha's son—and it makes me need to have control over every situation. I kind of...I kind of blank out for a bit. Then I do some things, say some things, cause some damage, and I don't know how to reverse any of it. I hate it, okay? I fucking hate it, but it happens. I'm not saying it's okay, I'm just..."
"Making excuses," I interrupted; I tried not to be swayed by his little speech, but my brain was screaming at me to accept it, even if I didn't fully understand it."If you want control so bad, why don't you control your 'alpha complex'? Huh?"
"Do you seriously think it's that easy?" Mason snapped. "I don't have a choice in anything about myself. You want to talk about unfair? It's unfair that I can't control myself sometimes and I hurt the people I care about. It's unfair that I don't get to pick who I fall in love with. It's unfair that I spent the last few years of my life trying to figure out who my—" Mason stopped mid-sentence, his eyes widening. "Oh my god," he whispered; I cringed at the use of the deity's name. He was staring at me like I was holding him at gunpoint. "I have to go. Tell the girls I got sick or something."
Mason rushed out before I could say a word, and I was left to ponder what he'd said. My brain tried to make some logical sense of what little information he'd given, but it was like trying to assemble a one-thousand piece puzzle with only five hundred of the pieces. One sentence remained stuck in my head, as if it were stamped there.
Do you think I don't fucking hate myself for it every day?