[Jenna's POV]
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I turn the dog tag over in my hands.
Why did he buy me something?
Doesn't he realize the impending return I will make to the front lines? It would be so much easier for himself if he could just move on.
I run my fingers over the chilled metal and feel the words pressed into the flat side. The chain is elegant. It's almost too ironic.
The tag stands for something brutal and life-changing, nothing elegant or graceful at all.
I'm on the fence about him. Sometimes, I appreciate that he thinks of me and buys me cute dog tags but other times I'm completely infuriated with him because he's making my life more complicated than it needs to be.
If only I had time to figure him out. I will either be going back to Afghanistan in six months or never. I have a ninety percent chance of going back, but maybe, just maybe, that ten percent will pull through.
I can't get my hopes up.
I'll get a letter in June telling me if I will stay or go. If I make any attachments here, it'll be harder for me to go and more depressing if I don't return.
After a few minutes of arguing with myself over the dog tag, I pull the chain around my neck.
Something about this feels right. It's not an illusion of false honor. I deserve to live a life, not waste it away in the military. I deserve love. Maybe Harry can supply me with that love.
My parents died defending this country, so maybe they made that sacrifice so I wouldn't have to follow in their steps.
Maybe I won't have to lie cold in a wooden box while the banner of freedom is draped across the lid. Maybe I won't have to hear the people I've touched in my life cry over my pale body as I'm lowered six feet down. Or the tune of taps playing while my legion salutes me for the last time.
I don't have to do any of that.
---
I typed the message a good hour ago and I'm still debating on whether or not I should send it.
After my thumbs do another dance over the screen, I hit send.
Hey, wanna hang out tonight? Thanks for the gift...
I immediately regret it. What if he thinks I'm clingy? Maybe he just wants to get to know me, or maybe he doesn't know what to think. He could still be upset over his band breaking up and that can influence his feelings as well. He might just need to feel something again.
My phone vibrates and unlock it, anxiously hoping it's from Harry.
It is.
Thought u would like it . Sure, where 2?
I don't know, you decide!
Idk dinner somewhere ?
Sure, pick me up? (:
I guess so...
I live in the apartments on 12th street.
Cya around seven ?
Perfect.
After reviewing the messages, I realize Harry has terrible text language. It's very amusing to reread his sent messages. He sounds like a twelve year old.
I need to get ready!
I have four hours. Should be enough time, but with me you never know.
Rushing into my closet, I pick out an outfit. Its still hasn't snowed a lick, in New York! It's January and I'm not entirely sure if I should wear a dress. Beauty is painful.
I pick out a pair of white cropped skinny jeans and a blue sheer shirt. With a tank top in hand, I head into my bathroom to get dressed. Well pleased, I straighten my hair which takes about an hour. My hair may be short but it is definitely thick. I spend a good half an hour putting my makeup on. Light blue eyeshadow and rosy lipstick complete it and I walk out of the bathroom with one last glance at the mirror.
I get my peacoat out of the front closet and go back into my room, ignoring the loud music blasting from Alex's room. I'm so done with her, she has been rude and unable to understand things lately. She was the only person I knew at the time of my first tour so I just categorized her as a friend. We never really did friend things. Sure, we would go shopping and dinner together but that was more for the sake of carpooling, not a sign of friendship.
I want to move out.
I've never enjoyed living in the heart of the city, the loudness and brightness never dims.
The city never sleeps.
After a couple of hours scrolling through tumblr, I hear my phone vibrate. Sliding off my bed, I read the message and quickly put my peacoat on. I slip on my cream colored heels and whip the door open.
"I'm going out!" I scream as I slam the door shut. The take the stairs by two and arrive at the lobby door in no time.
Scanning the sidewalk, I spot a tall lad looking at his phone, possibly sending me another message. My phone vibrates and I answer it.
"Hello?" I say calmly.
"Hey, erm, I think I'm here. I'm not entirely sure. I've never had a proper geography lesson."
"Geography?" I chuckle.
"Well, turn to your left, do you see me?" I ask and I watch him as he turns, confusion across his features until he spots me. He abruptly hangs up.
"You hung up on me!" I say pointedly and he laughs- really loud.
"People are staring." I tell him and he just smiles broadly.
"So where's your car?" I ask him, remembering the tungsten Charger he drove.
He looks around for a moment before saying, "I must've misplaced it."
"You didn't drive?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.
"My hotel is only a few blocks." He answers.
I nod before tugging my coat tightly around my torso. The wind whips around my hair and I wonder if we will see any snow tonight? I still cant believe the weather this year.
"Let's get going, the restaurant is only two blocks."
"Alrighty." I answer, chilled to the bone. Being Jenna, I don't let him know that I'm freezing.
"So what did you do today?" Harry asks, trying to start a conversation.
"I did pretty much nothing. I showered then got the mail- thank you again for the present- then I got ready and went on tumblr." I say.
"Well, you should be proud of me because I jogged two miles today. I was originally going to be one but I got lost." His mouth turns up at the last part and I laugh shortly.
"What do you mean, how did you get lost in New York City?" I ask sarcastically.
He smiles and continues walking.
Only a few people have stopped to gaze at us and I'm thankful for that. At least we won't be mobbed or anything.
"We should probably get going faster before you freeze your ass off." Harry says.
I turn my head up towards him and laugh before asking, "How did you know I was about to freeze my ass off? I thought I was hiding it perfectly."
"Your teeth are chattering and your hands are in your armpits." He says off-handedly.
"You're good at reading people."
"It's just a simple observation." He corrects me and that makes me look back down at my feet, watching them walk forward.
"Ah, here we are." Harry pulls my elbow towards the entrance of a small family-owned Chinese restaurant.
"Hope you enjoy Chinese food."
"I do."
We walk into the building together and I instantly feel warmer. Harry takes my coat and hangs it up next to his while a hostess shows me to our seats. I quietly thank the woman and sit down slowly.
The woman brings us glasses of water with bendy straws and Harry returns from hanging our coats up.
Harry gracefully bends around the table and slides into his chair smoothly. I open up the menu and decide on my food before Harry starts a conversation again.
"Military eh?" He says casually and I mumble an acknowledgement before bringing the tip of the straw to my lips.
"What about it?" I question, pushing the glass away.
"How many tours did you do? Did you see any action?" Harry asks and I gulp noticeably.
"I've had two tours and I- yeah, I guess I saw action." I say, unsure of what to say.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't of brought it up." He apologetically meets my gaze before I look away.
"I was a sniper and a special units commander. I led expeditions into small towns, hoping to exterminate threats." I say more openly.
"Ooh! You were a sniper?" Harry asks, trying to take some weight of this topic off my shoulders.
"Yeah." I respond.
"Maybe you can show me how to shoot sometime." He says, smiling brightly.
"I don't know about that. The idea of letting you near a gun doesn't appeal to me." I say while laughing.
"You're probably right." He says, laughing right along with me.
A waitress comes along and takes our orders before we resume our conversation.
"Pork or lamb?" Harry questions randomly.
"Uh, why?"
"Just answer it!" Harry says, forcing himself not to smile or laugh.
"Pork. I've got this deep connection with bacon." I say with a broad smile which makes Harry laugh really, really loud. I swear half the restaurant turned to look at us.
"Christmas or New Years?" He questions again, ruthlessly trying to figure out the little details of my life.
"Probably New Years," I respond, "More parties."
He smiles and nods approvingly.
"How about you? Xbox or Wii?" I ask him, taking on the roll of the questioner.
"Xbox, it's sick." Harry adds and I smile.
The waitress informs us that our entrees will be served momentarily and we gladly thank her.
"Pink or green?" Harry questions me once the waitress excuses herself.
"Green," I answer, "Color of the earth."
"But is it your favorite?"
"Yeah I guess so, it's the color of grass." I shrug and Harry shoots a response back at me, "But is it your favorite? I'm not asking you what your favorite earth tone is. Oh! Look at the dirt! It's a wonderful shade of brown today!"
I laugh louder than I ever have before.
The waitress rests our steaming plates of the mahogany table and leaves us to eat. I pick up my fork and dig into my chow mein. Harry laughs as I suck a stray noodle through my lips, leaving a sweet sauce behind that I lick up.
We continue to laugh and talk while we eat, constantly asking each other simple questions. After a slowly eaten meal, Harry generously picks up the tab after I insisted I pay my half. He shrugs the matter off and gets our coats.
We walk out of the restaurant after applying our coats and step into a fresh coat of white, fluffy snow. The first snow of the winter. Smiling like an idiot, I crush a small handful of the stuff into my palms and fling it at Harry. He looks upset for a split second before dumping armfuls of snow on my head. He both laugh hysterically while walking back to my apartment, probably getting frostbite by the second.
The wind picks up and I struggle to see past my feet as we trudge along 12th street. Upon entering my apartment building, we are greeted by a series of flashes and yelling. Complete and utter confusion washes over me before I realize it's paparazzi. Harry forcefully grabs my arms and leads me through the pack of crazy people, all yelling questions about our relationship. We basically sprint up the stairs; I'm on Harry's tail the entire way up.
We get to my floor and stop. The camera men didn't follow us, thankfully.
"Jesus, I'm so sorry Jenna. I didn't know they would be here. I'm so-" I interrupt, "It's fine. Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault."
Harry smiles warmly, "I guess I should get going," he trails off, gazing at the staircase from which we just escaped the paparazzi.
He turns to leave and I decide to make the first move.
"Harry, wait!" I say as his first foot touches the stairs.
He turns around with something in his eyes. There's been something about him that's been different since we starting hanging out.
He has hope.
"You can stay here, if you'd like. You shouldn't be walking back in this weather anyways." I say to quick.
Harry looks at me, the stairs, then back at me, meeting my gaze before nodding.
I lead him to my door and fumble with the lock before a thought occurs. What if Alex is home? What if she is still pissed? I open the door and look for any evidence of her absence. Her shoes and coat are gone, the door is shut and all the lights of switched off.
Maybe I got lucky and she left...
I spot a piece of ripped paper on the kitchen counter.
"You can take your shoes off and hang your coat here." I gesture to the empty coatrack and Harry smiles sweetly.
I quickly shuffle over to the kitchen and read the note.
Jenna,
I really don't know what's going on right now. I'm going to spend a few days with my sister at her house until we can settle things. You've been out of it since we had dinner. I just want to old Jenna back. Text me if you want.
Alex xox
She left.
This is just sheer luck.
Harry clears his throat from the doorway and smiles innocently. He has his hands behind his back like a child awaiting his chores.
"I'm going to change then we can watch a movie or something." I say while heading to me room and Harry responds with, "Sure."
The man of many words.
I quickly change out of my dinner outfit into a pair of black leggings and a oversized tshirt. I pull a brush through my wind blown hair and watch in displeasure as it frizzes up. I end up pulling it into a high ponytail and falling it good.
Walking out of me room, I spot Harry sitting on the couch politely.
"Do you want to watch a movie?" I ask him, making him angle his head to me.
He shrugs and says, "Sure, I'm tired anyway."
I pull a few movies off my shelf and put one in, unable to remember the title or plot. I get a blanket and head towards the couch.
I sit down on the couch next to Harry and slowly pull my knees up to my chest. My toes are still frozen from being outside for so long and I curl them into my blanket.
I don't even remember the movie starting because as soon as my head rested in Harry's shoulder, I was out like a light.
---
Turtleneck so high I can't see my haters.