I'm laying in bed
and now I'm crying,
I don't know how
but I made you feel that way.
Why do I take drugs?
They make me feel better
because everything in my life,
except for you,
is shit, and I don't know what to do.
If you dive deeper into my life
you might not like what you find,
a fucked up world of my creation
and different parts of me in all out war.
Now I would like to know...
why do you take more drugs than me?
Why do I do all this crazy shit?
It's all that I can do
to keep me from going insane
and there's no one to help me,
no one to talk to
because no one could understand
and it would take too long to tell,
they wouldn't care anyway.
I want to know everything about you.
Maybe you could tell me someday.
Let's trade stories, it'll be fun.
My mind doesn't function correctly,
I might be a little crazy
but I don't care because I know
I'll always love you with all my heart.
You're the only thing that's right in my life
and I never want to lose you
but I'm sorry, I guess,
for being the way I am
and getting grounded all the time,
I never asked for this shit.
I wish I could just be free
and not have to do this crazy shit
but until my life gets better
I can't completely stop.
I'll do what I can for you
because I hate when you're sad
and I just feel like complete shit
because it's all my fault.
I'm sorry, this is how I cope with life,
I could be cutting everyday
but I don't like feeling that fake pain.
Fuck my life, I suck at this living shit,
I just wish I didn't fuck everything up.
Now every single time the phone rings
I always get up and run over
just to see if you're calling me
because all I want is to talk to you,
to hear your voice at all times.
I wish I could take back everything,
make it all right,
but I'm not capable of doing things right
and I don't know what to do.
I have no idea
because in my mind it's all confusing
and I feel like I'm manipulating myself.
I know I need help.
I've needed it for a while,
but I can't explain it to anyone,
what I'm feeling, because
I don't even understand it myself.
Myself, I don't understand
and I really wish I could
because it would make life easier
but everything's a blur in life
and I can't keep up with anything.