Entering the living room my eyes landed on my father sitting on the one-seat, a glass of water in front of him while his eyes shifted from the TV to me. It surprised me, taking me off guard when his eyes softened and a smile spread across his tired looking face. Never did I think my father had a weakness until I saw him today. It was disarming, I couldn't step forward and approach the man who lowered his guard.
Nick beside me held tighter onto my hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze. He was letting me know he was right beside me, that I didn't have to face this on my own. It gave me the push I needed to step forward.
"Hey, dad."
He got up, meeting Nick and I halfway as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to my cheek, "Nice to see you, Emily." Pulling back his eyes traveled to my swollen stomach, "That's a surprise."
I glanced aside, meeting my fiancé's eyes, "This is Nick, my fiancé."
My dad shifted his gaze to Nick who held out his hand, "Nice to meet you, sir."
It made me bite back a smile when I noticed my dad eying Nick, analyzing him. He was making sure this guy was right for me and when the skin around his eyes softened I knew he approved. Nick passed the test. But even if he didn't I would still marry this guy. He was right for me, that was all that mattered.
"Nice to meet you, Nick." My dad shook his hand, "Call me John, sir is a bit too formal don't you think?"
"John." Nick corrected himself.
"Take a seat." My dad suggested as he took a seat on his chair as well.
Nick sat closer to dad, knowing that even though I didn't snap at my father anything could still happen. Just with little gestures like that, I knew Nick would always do what was best for me. He rested his hand on my knee while he faced my father, a small smile spread across his face.
"Love the house." Nick's eyes scanned the room.
"A little too big for an old guy like me, but I couldn't sell it." I could see the shift in his eyes, the sadness quickly overpowering the happiness he felt a minute ago, "Memories, you know."
Nick nodded, "Yeah, I get it."
I was keeping quiet while my dad and Nick talked about his business and dad actually looked interested in what Nick was telling him. As I observed him closer I wondered if dad always had been like this, but I just didn't see it? That I didn't try harder to accept the situation and move on. That I should have been a little more understanding because the love of his life left him for some eighteen-year-old.
"You okay, Em?" Nick asked me, snapping me back to reality.
"I'm fine." I told him, flashing him a small smile, "Just thinking."
Max entered the room, "What do you guys want to drink?"
Nick got up, "Coffee, what do you want?" He turned to look at me.
"Water is fine," I told him.
Nick spun around and faced my brother, "I'll walk with you to the kitchen."
Nick was giving my father and I some time to talk things over, I was aware of that. While the boys walked out together, talking about some good coffee places in New York. I shifted my attention back to my dad and awkwardly shifted, trying to get as comfortable as possible.
"You graduated a few months ago?"
"Yes, I did."
"Proud of you, Emily."
If I wasn't confused about my father's sudden change in behavior, I was now. He never expressed his feelings toward me and I wasn't a mind reader. If he wanted me to actually understand him he had to use words. It was the same for Max. Max and I were able to move past our little hurdle so I'd try to handle this situation the same. Dad was sick, I could tell by looking at him. Holding grudges wasn't going to help anyone. I was glad Nick pushed me to do this.
"Thanks."
"When is the baby due?" His eyes shifted from mine to my stomach.
"In four months."
The sadness that brimmed in his eyes made me tense up, my heart squeezing painfully.
"Hope I can meet the little one."
It was hard not to burst out in tears. It had nothing to do with my father being sick and wishing he could live to see his grandson, it had everything to do with realizing another human being was dying and wanted to live, but they had no power over that. Even breathing hurt. I shifted in my seat again, clearing my throat as I forced myself not to cry.
"Hope so too." I whispered, "A lot of people are waiting to meet Matthew so I hope he won't keep us waiting."
"A boy." My father glanced over his shoulder, "Hope he turns out like his father, Nick seems like a good guy."
I agreed, "Nick is a good guy."
My dad shifted his gaze back at me, his lips curling up to a smile, "He is the reason why you're here."
"He is." I wouldn't lie about that, "He made me realize it's pointless to keep grudges. We can't change the past but we can change the future."
My father narrowed his eyes on me, it was like he was trying to get inside my head. I'm sure I've made him feel helpless a lot of times, made him wish he was a mind reader.
"That boy, I owe him a lot."
I smiled, blinking away the tears which threatened to fall even though I told my body not to respond to anything. It was obviously not working since I was crying. Brushing the tears away, I froze when my father reached out to me, holding my hand in his.
"I didn't mean to make you cry."
"I'm just very emotional right now," I mumbled a weak apology.
My father saw right through me, his pale eyes dancing with amusement, "Let's not talk about the past, I'm glad you're here because I was wondering how to tell you this."
"Tell me what?" He pulled away and glanced at his feet, looking conflicted, "Dad?"
"Your mother visited me a while ago, demanding I handed your contact information to her." He didn't look happy talking about this and I couldn't blame him, "I told her we didn't stay in touch and she left angrily, making a scene."
"Why does she want to talk to me?"
"I don't know." Dad's eyes told me a different story though, "Heard the gossip about her though. She is on her own and short on cash."
I put one and one together easily, "She knows about Nick."
"I figure this is about that boy."
I chuckled, "Dad, he has a name."
"I know he does."
'But you're going to keep calling him 'that boy'? Thought you liked him."
Dad leaned back in his chair, "I do, and I owe him the world since he brought my daughter back. Made you accept Max again. But he is also that boy who knocked up my daughter without marrying her first."
"Marriage wasn't on our agenda at all." I confessed to him, making my dad look surprised for once, "Nick is the one who changed the game and when he made up his mind about something he doesn't back down until he gets what he wants. He wanted to marry me so now we're getting married."
"Don't let that boy walk all over you." Dad warned me, "You stand your ground firmly if you don't agree with something let him know."
"Dad, Nick wouldn't do anything to hurt me."
"That's what I thought when I married your mother." The bitterness clear in his voice, "Just keep your guard up, don't charge into things without your mind being in the game."
I think my dad was giving me lessons about life here and I was paying attention. He wasn't my favorite person for a long time, but I knew he became successful for a reason. Unlike me my dad always thought his words through, he didn't make a fool out of himself. I was the complete opposite of him. It was hilarious.
"About mom-" I went back to the subject which made him become a grumpy old man because I knew that would come back to haunt me, "You think she'll come to New York?"
"That might be a possibility." Dad reached for his glass and took a large gulp, "I'm not telling you to ignore her or stay away from her. That's your decision to make. I just want you to keep in mind that she left us without glancing back once. She didn't stay in touch with her own children even though I never denied her the right to see you-"
"She is a selfish person." I cut my dad off, "I always thought you hated me because I reminded you of her."
"Emily." Dad placed his glass on the coffee table and reached for my hand, holding it tightly in his, "I could never hate you. I've to admit that you do look a lot like her, but you aren't her. I know you're a better person. You made the first step here, didn't you? You swallowed your pride and came to see me even though you didn't want to."
"Dad, Nick is the better person here. We both know if he wasn't in my life I would have turned my back to Max and you-"
"I don't believe that. " He squeezed my hand tightly, "I think that you would have figured things out with or without him. You're sensitive and you care."
Giving my dad's hand a squeeze in return I flashed him a sincere, big smile, "Thank you."
"So now stop being silly and tell me about your life in New York."
I settled in and told my dad everything. We needed to catch up and since we had nothing between us anymore the mood was a lot lighter and we talked freely. It was fun and I was actually smiling a lot, not regretting coming to see my dad at all.
***
Nick and I were getting ready for bed, both in a pretty good mood after spending time with Max and dad and eating amazing food. I was settling in bed, shifting to my side as I eyed my fiancé. He glanced down, raising an eyebrow at me.
"Hm?"
"Thank you."
He looked exasperated with me, "Emily, there is no need to thank me. I did what I felt was right. You're the one who finally made the decision. It's all you, so we drop this subject, okay?"
I smiled, "Okay." I whispered.
"Max warned me about your mom." Nick started.
I pushed my finger against his lips to make him stop talking, "Things are good right now, can we pretend that everything is fine for a bit longer. We'll have a fun day tomorrow. Ring shopping and spending time with dad and Max and then we'll see our friends in Tokyo. When we get back to New York we'll worry about her."
Nick sighed and rolled to his side as well, brushing my hair back, "I'll give you that."
Nick leaned in and kissed me, softly, as if he didn't want to break me. Putting my hand up against his chest I pressed my lips harder against his. He brushed his fingers over my neck before he grabbed onto the back of my head and deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue in my mouth. It was always me who made the first move, always wanting Nick so much I couldn't control myself. It was exciting that Nick was the one who couldn't control himself.
He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him, pressing me gently against his firm body. Trailing my hand down his chest I pushed it under his shirt and felt the heath of his skin. A moan left my lips, swallowed by his kiss. We both pulled away to catch our breath when Matthew let his presence known again.
Nick sighed, "Guess Matthew is awake again."
I couldn't help but laugh, "He is always active around this time." Nick wrapped me up in his arms and kissed my head, "Sorry."
"This is fine too." He whispered, "I'm okay with just holding you."
Closing my eyes I leaned my head against his shoulder, enjoying the warmth of him, "Love you."
Chuckling Nick kissed my head again, "Love you too."