"It's fine, you're worth a whole lot more than 30."
Malia's voice and images of the cursed paper spun around my head repeatedly, it was completely eating me.
Josie Carlisle, 55.
I couldn't understand it. Why was I worth so much? The number cant add up with the main jackpot. Do they know about the medium thing? And how was I worth more than Scott? He's the True Alpha, the strongest of us all. I know he tends to doubt himself but everything's he's been doing has been incredible. I don't even know what do with what I have, it barely has control of itself. But the main question still remained completely apparent.
Why would my two best friends, the main people I trusted more than anyone, hide this from me?
🌙
"I still hate this plan." Melissa stammered. "I mean this is pretty significantly terrifyingly. He looks dead." She was wiping tears from her eyes like her biggest fear actually had came true. I agreed with her though. Scott did look dead, laying there on the morgue slab. For some reason, our alpha decided to come up with a plan to fake his death to get a better chance to catch the Benefactor and whoever was helping him.
This was the first time I've seen everyone since what happened two weeks ago, even though Kira did still update on what else has been taking place. I haven't really spoke to Stiles since I found out what he was hiding from me so him standing there next to me was a bit weird. It was like that vibe you get from confrontation, like it's weird but not really. I hate dealing with that. And standing beside him like nothing has happened between us really made me feel uncomfortable.
Mrs.Yukimura put her hand out, "Give me your hand."
Melissa hesitated.
"It's okay." I whispered as I placed my hand on her shoulder softly.
She slowly nodded and Mrs.Yukimura placed her hand upon her son's chest so she could feel his heartbeat. It was obviously pretty slow but I could hear it.
"Is that enough to keep a werewolf alive?" Melissa inquired worriedly.
"Enough for an Alpha." Kira's mom responded.
"So how much time do we have again?" I said as I folded my arms.
"Forty-five minutes." Mrs. Yukimura sighed.
"What happens after that?" Melissa asked, glancing over at Scott.
"I bring him back the same way." Kira answered.
"No, I mean what happens if he stays like this longer than forty-five minutes?" Melissa inquired nervously.
"No one's told them?" Mrs.Yukimura asked, looking up at us in confusion.
"Told us what?" I asked her, stammering angrily. "What happens after forty-five minutes?"
"He dies."
🌙
"Is that supposed to look like that?" I asked, pointing to a screen of a laptop.
Right now, we were up to part three of the plan. We have three MacBooks that now detain current surveillance of different areas of the hospital. And I think I really need another cup of coffee but we've been staring at nothing for the last ten minutes and I only have gotten one hour of sleep these past two weeks.
"No." Stiles sighed while shaking his head. "No, it's not."
God, his voice is even making me want to punch him even more.
"Where is that?" Kira asked.
"The roof." I said. I then bit my lip, "Someone's gonna have to check it out."
"I'll go." Kira insisted.
"Whoa, whoa." Stiles blurted while shaking his head side to side. "This might not just be a malfunction."
"That's why I'm bringing this." Kira replied, showing us her katana.
"I'm going with you!" Liam and I said in unison.
As we started to run over towards her direction, Stiles had grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer to him. He then waited for them to leave to finally let go of me but I was already removing myself from his grip. I guess this was suppose to be the time he wanted to talk things over. But from the way he grabbed me, I really wanted to smash his head in one of the laptops but I couldn't do that. I couldn't hurt him. I could never do that.
"Okay." He groaned as they left, "And you're both coming right back. Immediately!" His eyes glanced at me before letting out a heavy awkward sigh, "Kids."
I really didn't want to be left in the room with him. And I guess if his voice was already getting to me, I shouldn't be in a room with him at all. I already can't control this werewolf thing and my anxiety is sky high. And it's making me sick. Maybe I should stop being a coward and just try to get his explanation. I cant stay mad at him forever right?
"So...do you wanna talk?" I asked, glancing up at him.
"It's obvious you don't." He scoffed.
"Hey, you don't get to be mad." I said as my tone was kind of slightly more harsh than I had intended. My anger was reaching for full control. "You don't."
"Oh, so you're the only one who can be angry here?" Stiles asked, glaring at me.
"What the hell are you upset about, huh?" I jeered, almost yelling at him. "You were the one hiding stuff from your own best friend. Did you even remember the part where we were also together?"
"We were going to tell you." He fired back.
"You're lying, you were never going to tell me." I scoffed.
"Can we just finish this later?" He snapped, clearly irritated by me. "We got other stuff to worry about."
"Oh, you gotta be kidding me." I sighed.
Stiles cut me off instantly, "Oh my god, are you really going to sit here and play the victim card all day?"
He then took a moment to let out a sigh, "I wasn't the only keeping secrets here.When were you going to tell me about your other abilities, huh? Yeah I'm aware, Josie. Your parents told me all about them. You just sat here the whole time and you didn't say anything about it."
Okay I really might beat him up in this room, he's lucky that we're in the hospital.
"I don't even understand any of them!" I yelled in exasperation.
"But you knew you had help." He uttered sternly. "All you had to do was say something! You could've saved so many people's lives and you did nothing. This is your fault. Don't you get that?"
His words were cutting into me deeper than a knife and the fact that I let it get to me made me even angrier. I just wanted to hold back and let my anger reach its full potential but that part of me was still scared of hurting him. As much I hate to admit it, he was right. It was my fault. I should've tried to pick up on my medium ability and told him about it. So many innocent people would be alive right now. We wouldn't be here. Scott would not be laying on that slab in the morgue. This plan of ours wouldn't even be created or at least put into thought if I got my ability to work.
I shook my head side to side, "How were you even going to help?" I snapped. "What? Do research? People lie about everything on the internet every goddamn day. I'm not even sure if I inherited the medium thing. It aged like milk with my mom. She'll do anything to get it back." I then took a moment to look at the ground before slowly shaking my head. "And if I do have it, the supernatural gods are better off finding a replacement because I don't understand it. I don't know how to use it but the thought of knowing I can help continues to pound in my brain like a hammer. So do not put all the blame on me. You're just angry because you can't do anything about any of this. You're not like us."
I didn't mean to say it like that. Take it back, Jos. Take it back.
"Yeah, I'm glad that I'm not like you." Stiles said after letting out a scoff. He was hurt. I could smell it on him. "Because if I was, I wouldn't be such a goddamn coward."
"I'm done." I chuckled, trying to hide the pain as much as he did.
"Sounds good to me." Stiles fired back as he shrugged and gave me a smug-like look.
"You know what?" I said, mocking his movement, "This. This little circle of ours is not going to last. It's temporary. We're all going to leave to you. Do you really believe that Scott or anyone else is gonna care about this—or you—once it's over? I mean, come on! You're—you're literally the reason why Allison's gone."
Instantly, I regretted saying that. I could also see every ounce of pain in his eyes. He was trying his very best to hide it but I knew it hurt. I should've never brought it up- I'm so stupid. That was so wrong of me. And Stiles cared about her. She was his friend, too. Why the hell did I say that?
"Yeah." He finally said. Stiles then licked his bottom lip and cleared his throat, eyes on mine fully, "Hey, maybe it should've been you instead. See, at least she was useful."
Just after those words from his mouth, I stormed out the room. My head stayed down, making sure I didn't make eye contact with anyone as I left the hospital to get some air. I felt like I couldn't breathe and every bone in my body ached. It was like I was about to transition but I wasn't. There was no more anger. There was only pain and I was crashing badly. My body just plopped down near the stairs and the tears just came pouring down instantly. Crying is one thing I haven't done in awhile. I promised myself I wouldn't do it again months ago but this pain was different but quite familiar. It was the type I didn't know what to do with. It hurt so bad. But what hurt the most was after that, I knew I would still love him.
I think now at this point today, I was over everything. My whimpering annoyed me. I was so tired of crying. It was awful. I didn't want to talk to anyone or be seen again. Maybe I should exist out of the pack. Maybe I was done with not being able to help. Im so useless. Everyone deserves better than me.
It's time for me to go.
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This chapter was so difficult for me to write, oh my god. (*phew) and even though it might seem like the end, I promise you it's not. Reading for you guys and writing for me shall continue, the next's chapter won't be as emotional I promise. I really didn't want to break Josie and Stiles up but every relationship has their ups and downs, so let's see they are able to build from them.