We looked like a group of dumb asses.
Four teenage boys-- two of which giggled manically the entire time, one blushing and hiding his face behind his skeleton gloves (that one was me,) and one who just looked highly amused by the previous three-- all looking like lost puppies as we shuffled into the convenient store.
Mikey had called Josh and Matt immediately upon my asinine compliance to take a pregnancy test. Matt didn't answer, oddly, but Josh had practically sprinted to the house in excitement. He was not going to miss the opportunity to see me make an utter ass out of myself. When I finally pulled jeans on, hearing both of my friends snickering behind my back, I mentally cursed myself for agreeing to this.
"I don't wanna do this," I said, falling onto Mikey's bed and crossing my arms like a sulking toddler. "I change my mind. You guys are assholes and I don't wanna do this."
Josh slunk onto the mattress next to me and I glower at his entertainment. He should not be finding the insane possibility of me being pregnant so humorous. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and gave me a mock-sympathetic smile. "You know, if it turns out you are having Zacky's baby, you should name him after me and Mikey because we would be awesome uncles. Joshua Michael Baker. Has a nice ring to it, right?"
I shook my head, standing up and brushing his arm off as he tried to stifle another laugh. "Let's go do this," I said and jabbed a single finger at my flat stomach. "The sooner I prove you to guys that there's no baby in here, the sooner I can beat your ass in GTA."
My annoyance was replaced with nothing more than embarrassment when we finally saunter into the convenient store and Mikey leads us past a few isles in search of the pregnancy tests. I follow along, slightly behind Mikey and Josh as their eyes scan over the various brands and sales of the same damn thing; Expensive sticks you pee on. Seriously, some of this shit costs $20 for one freaking test! Mikey points to one brand that claims "it can tell you sooner" and snorts some smartass remark to which Josh cackles in return.
I glance nervously around the isle as if we're doing something wrong and notice the cashier is watching us curiously. I offer a small smile and feel myself blush before casting my eyes back down to the scuffed tile floor. I cross my arms, shuffling my feet and actually stepping forward to hide my body behind Gerard's, who only came along because we needed a ride, from the scrutiny of the woman behind the register. I notice that Gerard looks down at me when I do so, but I keep my eyes down, swallowing hard, before quickly glaring at Mikey and Josh. "Can you just fucking grab one?"
"We have to make sure we get the right one!" Josh exclaims. He's holding four separate boxes in his arms, studying them all to see if there's even a difference. "This is serious business, Frank!"
I roll my eyes and step up to the shelf, grabbing the cheapest brand I see and shoving the box into Mikey's hands. "There. Can we leave now?"
Mikey feigns shock. "You mean you don't want to take the test here?" He looks up at the employee at the front. "I'm sure that lady would be nice enough to let us use the bathroom for a few minutes."
I sigh, irritated, and turn to the older Way. "Gerard, make your brother pick a fucking test and let's go."
Gerard's eyes widen a bit in surprise-- probably more than a little taken back by the fact that I'm asking for his help this time instead of calling him an asshole like this morning-- though the amusement is still very evident in his shimmering hazel eyes, seeming to glow under the fluorescent lights above. He opens his mouth a bit and shrugs. "What am I supposed to do?"
"You're the one that put this stupid idea into his head," I accuse. "You know as well as I do that I'm not pregnant." Gerard simply grins, his smile seeming contagious and repulsing all at once, but I settle with the latter of the reactions and sneer at him, my voice dropping. "You're a fucking prick, you know that Gerard? What is this, middle school? You pick on me because you like me? Grow up." His smile falters and I can hear that Mikey and Josh are no longer laughing about pregnancy tests, but I'm not nearly done. "I almost lost my best friend and my boyfriend because of you and all because you want in my pants?"
Gerard's brow furrows and he shakes his head. "What are you even talking about?"
I roll my eyes and I can feel my teeth grinding together. A wave of deja vu comes over me and I remember confronting Josh about something similar, right before I attacked and punched him. "I know you started the rumor," I accuse. "I know that you started telling people that Zacky being with me was a bet and it was because you were jealous. Because you wanted me instead."
Gerard laughs and tilts his head to one side, studying me. "Did Zacky tell you that?"
"He didn't need to." I stand my ground even though the way that his eyes rake over my body makes me feel uncomfortable. It reminds me of the first night with Zacky, my first time having sex; Laid out, vulnerable and exposed, except this time, I'm wearing clothes. And it's Gerard that watching me like that, not Zacky. "Remember two months ago, when Zacky confronted you in the boys bathroom?"
I don't have to explain more than that to make Gerard's face automatically pale. His steady gaze drops to the ground and his hands twist together in front of him. He watches his feet but I can see the humor disappear, replaced with timid flickers in his bright eyes as he bites down nervously on his lip. "You heard that?" He asks. The arrogance in his voice is gone, his words now laced with the shyness I remember always hearing.
I laugh once. "Yes."
He's not denying it. He's not lying and telling me that I misheard or that Zacky was lying. He was just... accepting it. It kind of surprises me, as I imagined more arguments from his side, some accusations of his own perhaps, but instead all I got was this.
"Look, Frank," He finally says after a long moment of tense silence. I do nothing but watch him, feeling somewhat shocked and even more betrayed. "It's not what it seems like."
I raise a single eyebrow, shifting my weight with the sudden urge to pee, but not willing to pass up on this confrontation. "It seems like you were jealous," I spit, crossing my arms. "It seems like you wanted me to break up with Zacky so that you could have me all to yourself."
Gerard looks up at me then, hurt and indecision revealed in his own emotion as well. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about."
"Then explain it to me," I shrug. "Tell me what I'm missing."
His eyes rake over my face once more before he swallows hard and averts his gaze again. "You wouldn't believe me even if I did."
He's right. I probably wouldn't believe a single word he said to me, especially if he was going to disagree with what I already knew. I don't have time to deal with it now, anyway, because it feels like my bladder is about to explode. So I turn back to Josh and Mikey who are watching us with the most serious expressions I've seen either of them ever pull off. "I have to pee. Can we go now?"
Mikey simply nods, cheap pregnancy test in hand, and leads us to the front counter. The cashier watches us curiously as she rings up the box, taking the five dollar bill from Mikey and glancing between each of us. "Who's the lucky dad-to-be?" She wonders absently.
Josh grins, placing his hand on my stomach and patting. "Are we gonna call you Mommy or Daddy?" He asks.
I shift away from his touch and accidentally bump into Gerard, instantly jumping away from the unwanted contact and the way he watches me through his eyelashes. I simply sigh and grab the bag from the counter, ignoring the woman's raised eyebrows, and leave the small store.
•••
"No, you pee on the purple end!" Josh snatches the thin stick out of Mikey's grasp and turns it around, handing it back to me.
I groan, wrapping my fingers around the purple cap and pulling it off, holding it up for both of them to see. "The purple part comes off."
"Then what the hell do you pee on?" Josh grabs the test back, turning it over in his hands while Mikey scans the instructions.
I bounce up and down on my feet, squeezing my legs together. "Somebody better tell me how the fuck this thing works before I pee on your floor."
"Oh, here it is!" Mikey says. He holds up the box, pointing to the very clearly printed directions on the back flap. I don't bother listening to what he says, just grab the stick and the box and run into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. My eyes skim the words on the box and I flip the test over in my fingers again, trying to match it up with the pictures. When I have it right, I fight with the zipper of my jeans for only a second before it gives in and I'm finally able to relieve myself.
I can practically hear Josh and Mikey pressed up against the wooden door, waiting for my answer, but as soon as my bladder is empty, I shake off the test, reattaching the purple cap, and set it on the counter, washing my hands and then leaning against the wall. Now time to wait.
"Are you done!?" Josh yells through the door and I sigh, crossing my arms.
"Start the timer," I command and I hear the various beeps as Mikey sets the timer on his phone for two minutes. I close my eyes, feeling tired all of a sudden, and rest my head against the wall.
Soon enough, Josh is pounding his fist against the wooden door. "Time's up, bitch! Show me them babies!"
I roll my eyes and move to the pregnancy test sitting on the edge of the counter. My eyes barely graze over the two thin lines that cut vertically through the square window and I unlock the door. I wave the test in the air before Mikey grabs it. I let him have the pee stick and fall onto the bed instead. "Told you I'm not pregnant." I mutter.
Josh laughs but my eyes land on Mikey, who watches me with wide eyes. "Dude, this thing has two lines on it."
I nod. "Yep. I'm so proud that you can count. Can we play video games now?"
Mikey shakes his head and disappears into the bathroom for a second before emerging once again, stick still in hand along with the box that I had previously tossed into the trash. His eyes scan over the words before he looks back at me and a grin stretches across his face. He hands the box to Josh, who also turns a wide-eyed gaze on me.
"There are two lines." He says.
I roll my eyes. "Yes. There are two lines."
"Umm..." Mikey grabs the empty box back and hands it to me this time, pointing at the small cartoon picture. "Two lines, Frank." My eyes land on the words he's motioning at and I cock an eyebrow.
"Two lines means positive," I mutter. "That test says I'm pregnant."