I have songs I listen to and think of you while I do.
I fall asleep to them, humming the tune.
They're very different, not one type of song.
I could listen to them all day long.
I fall asleep with your image in my head.
Smiling there as I lay in my bed.
I think of your smile and I think of your laugh.
I think of in the hallways and how I look at you when we pass.
If only I could say hi to you.
There'd be other things I could say or do.
I get myself hyped up.
And I can feel my heart speeding up.
I think of saying hi to you and I smile while my stomach flips.
But when I see you from a distance, I can tell my words will slip.
I see the headphones in your ear.
I leave you alone because I know you won't hear.
I silence myself and hold my words.
My smile disappears and my stomach curds.
"Maybe next time." I say,
Knowing next time it will be the same way.