Chapter 10: Moving Forward
Mika
I woke up with my head on a pillow that wasn't mine, in a room that wasn't mine. I didn't remember last night, but I was pretty sure I didn't go out to the club. I haven't done that in weeks.
I blinked a couple of times before rolling over. As soon as I saw the sleeping form next to me, everything came back to me.
"Fuck," I whispered, rubbing my eyes. I went out to dinner with Allen Carr, my boss. Then I came back and had sex with him. I had sex with my extremely sexy boss.
I heard Allen shift beside me, then suddenly his arm was wrapping around my body, pulling me closer to him. I've never been much of a cuddler, but then again, I usually either didn't know or didn't like the guys I slept with. Apparently, Allen liked to cuddle, and for some reason, I found myself not minding that my naked back was pressed up against his bare chest and his arms were holding me tightly.
I had no idea what time it was, but it didn't matter. Even though it was probably getting close to the time I'd normally get up, I was already at work. Technically. Because I slept with my boss last night.
I felt disgusting and dirty, but not from who I had sex with. It was because, in that moment, I realized just how covered in cum I was. We didn't even clean ourselves up last night, not having the energy to do so. But now I could feel where it had dried on my skin, and I wanted it off. The only problem was that Allen was holding me down and was still fast asleep.
Being as careful as possible, I lifted up Allen's arm and slid out from his grasp. Thankfully, Allen seemed to be a pretty heavy sleeper, so I was able to get out of the bed, find my clothes that were scattered on the floor, and head into the bathroom without him even stirring.
By the time I finished my shower, Allen was still asleep. It was probably close to the time he should be getting up for work, although I didn't know exactly when that was. All I knew was that he was always awake by the time I got here at six each morning. It was nearing quarter of.
Instead of being creepy and watching Allen until he woke up, I headed to Sam's nursery to check on him. He didn't make a peep all night, at least, I didn't hear him so I'm pretty sure he slept through the night. Good thing we didn't wake him up with our noises.
He was awake already when I walked into his room, but he wasn't complaining at all. He was quite content just looking around the room.
"Hey, Sammy," I said gently. "Good morning." Picking him up, I continued talking to him as I changed his diaper and his clothes. The whole time, he watched my face, occasionally smiling or giggling at me.
When I finished getting Sam dressed, I lifted him up, kissing his belly, earning another giggle from him before I turned around. Standing in the doorway, blocking my route to the kitchen, stood Allen, a small smile on his face, even though it looks like he just rolled out of bed after a night of sex. Oh, wait. He did. At least he managed to put pants on before leaving the bedroom, although he was still missing a shirt, which shouldn't bother me, but I couldn't help but smirk at the marks I left last night across his chest.
"What are you doing?" he asked me, gesturing towards his son in my arms.
"My job?" I answered, the smirk falling off my face in confusion. "You did hire me to take care of him, right? You were sleeping, he wasn't."
He shrugged. "I did. Just thought that-" He stopped, shaking his head. "Never mind."
I smirked again, enjoying his discomfort right now. "What? Thought that I'd stay in bed with you until you woke up? Thought that I'd just go home sometime during the night and come back here like nothing happened? Thought I'd leave and never come back?"
Allen shook his head again. "Nothing. It doesn't matter."
He stepped closer to me, holding out his arms for his son. I handed him over without hesitation. Sam continued to giggle as his father started talking to him, bouncing him up and down on his hip as they moved out of the nursery and towards the kitchen.
I followed them, watching as Allen interacted with his son. Well, really, I watched Allen's ass walk down the hallway. I wouldn't mind having sex with him again at some point. He was good, for someone so inexperienced with guys.
Wait. That was Allen's first time with a guy, right? I usually stay away from those kinds of people for the sole reason of them not knowing what they're doing or asking too many questions during the whole sex thing. Allen wasn't like that, but he might not be okay with it all now.
When I entered the kitchen, only seconds after Allen did, I waited until he had placed Sam in his high chair before asking the question that was on my mind. "How are you doing?"
He turned towards me. "I'm doing well. How are you?"
I shook my head. "That's not what I was asking. Um, last night was your first time. With a guy. Just wondering..." I hesitated, not sure how to ask.
"If I was doing alright," he finished for me. I nodded. "Yeah. I'm... I'm good. I can definitely say now that I'm am not strictly into women anymore."
I smirked, kinda proud of myself for being able to turn a straight man. "Good. So you're definitely not regretting it or anything?" I don't know why I was pushing him like this. Maybe I wanted him to tell me that he didn't want me that way. Then maybe we wouldn't have a thing going on while I still worked for him. That was the only thing about this situation that was weird for me.
He didn't answer me until after he handed Sam his bottle. "No." He sighed. "It kind of feels like I cheated on Sarah, but I also know that we're not together anymore. She left over a year ago. We're over."
Without another moment of hesitation, he grabbed one of the pictures of him and Sarah off the fridge. It was the picture from someone's birthday party, although I never got the story behind it. He placed it on the counter before pulling off another one, putting it on top of the first.
I sat down in the chair next to Sam, going back and forth between watching Allen take down all the pictures of his ex-girlfriend and monitoring Sam's eating. He was still learning with the whole holding his own bottle thing, having only started doing it last week.
At some point, Allen had finished gathering the pictures in here and left the room to get the rest of them, so I focused solely on Sam. It only took a few more minutes before he decided he was done, flinging the bottle behind him. Thankfully I was paying attention and was able to catch it before it hit the floor. There have been days when I haven't caught it, and the leftover milk spilled all over the floor.
Just as I was placing the bottle in the sink, Allen returned with a stack of pictures in his hand. He immediately went to throw them out, but I stopped him. "What if Sam wants to know what his mother looks like one day?"
I understood exactly why Allen wanted to get rid of the reminders of her - he wanted to move forward. But I also knew what it was like to wish for even one picture of my parents. I didn't even know their names. Sam has the opportunity to see beautiful pictures that probably tell amazing stories of the woman who gave birth to him. It wouldn't be fair to him if Allen just threw them away like that.
Allen sighed, looking a the pictures before slowly closing the lid to the garbage can. "You're right," he muttered. "He's going to want to see these."
He kept standing there, like he didn't know what to do with them if they weren't hanging up around the house or in the trash. "Put them in a bag or something," I suggested, handing Sam a spoon. He loved playing with spoons. "Then shove the bag in a draw or the bottom of a closet. Somewhere where you won't see it every day."
Allen nodded before walking out of the room. He didn't return for a while, and when he did, the pictures were nowhere to be seen and he was all dressed for work. I had just lifted Sam out of his hair chair after cleaning up the kitchen a bit, when he walked over to me and kissed me. It was a short little peck, but definitely a kiss, and definitely unexpected.
I stood there, not sure what just happened. "What was that?"
"Uh, I just wanted to kiss my boyfriend goodbye."
Boyfriend? Did he just call me his boyfriend? This was awkward. "I don't really do the whole boyfriend thing," I said slowly. "I thought you knew that."
I felt bad as soon as the words came out of my mouth. But it was the truth. There was no point in me dating. I wasn't going to fall in love with Allen, so even if he develops feelings for me, I'll never feel the same way towards him. So it's better if I just don't date at all.
"Yeah, sorry. I just... I guess I just figured..."
"That because you took me out to dinner and we had sex, I'm now your boyfriend? I don't date people, Allen, and I definitely don't date my boss." I said as I shifted Sam to my other hip. He was getting heavy
Allen looked hurt, but quickly pushed that pain aside, getting angry instead. "I'm trying here, okay? I've finally admitted to myself that I can get Sarah out of my head because now you're all I can think about. I like you, Mika, really, I do. I don't care that I hired you to watch Sam. You do a much better job than I ever could. How could I ever find someone to date who cares about my son the way you do, who will care about my family? You're already part of my family, Mika, whether you like it or not. And right now, I'm asking if you'd like to be my boyfriend. I don't care if you don't believe in love. I just want to be with you."
I stared at him, wide-eyed. Did he really just say all that? I didn't know what to think. His words were echoing through my head, over and over again. Eventually, my mouth gave up waiting for me to think of what I wanted. I heard myself simply say "Okay." And that seemed to calm everything in my brain. I was agreeing to this.
Allen's face lit up. "Okay? Is that a yes? You'll go out with me?"
I scoffed, shaking my head. I hadn't seen him act like this before, and while it was sort of childish, it was also pretty adorable. "Yes, Allen, I'll be your boyfriend. But I do not live here. I'm going home to sleep in my own bed at nights, unless we make plans beforehand that I'm staying the night. Also, I'm going to cook myself breakfast after you leave because I didn't eat yet. Still doesn't mean I live here."
Allen smiled. "Alright. Okay. Thank you. Will you let me kiss you now before I leave?"
I nodded my head and he leaned in for a kiss. This one was longer than that peck he gave me before, but it couldn't have turned heated. I was holding onto his son, who he kissed on the forehead next.
Maybe this would work after all.