Ashley's POV
I woke up completely exhausted. I couldn't get enough sleep as I kept tossing and turning. My thoughts were so puzzled and scattered because of last night that it made it impossible to fall asleep.
As I drove home from my parent's house to my apartment to get ready for office I kept thinking about the decision I took last night. I wasn't sure if it was the best professional decision but it still felt right. It was something I had to do.
I called my assistant and got the papers ready for the said decision as soon as reached home. I didn't want to change my mind and back off.
The first thing I did as I reached office was sign off the papers and make it official. Once it is on paper, it can't influence me to change my mind.
After an hour or so, David walked into my cabin. He knocked my desk to gain attention. I looked up to see his smug arrogant smile.
"You were supposed to knock on the door." I said
"The door was opened, I figured why knock."
"Always knock. Anyway, didn't you get the call? Why are you here?" I asked
He frowned looking completely confused. He looked adorable, dare I think. I mentally slapped myself for even considering the thought.
"What call? I didn't get any call"
"You didn't? Let me clarify, I'll call my stupid assistant right now" I reached for my landline to call her when he held my hand. I immediately snatched it back. He raised his hand in defeat "What are you doing?"
"I got the call. I just came in to confirm. I thought you were pissed and messing with me."
"Do you think I'm someone who messes around like that? I meant that."
"You can't just fire me. What is your big reason? Because the last I remember, you were very impressed by my work." He was angry, I could tell. I know angry but it wasn't the anger I was familiar with, it was something different.
"You've no sense of boundary. You piss me off all the time. Yes, I appreciated your work but your arrogance trumps it all." I took a little step closer, just to make a point "And your constant need to get close to me is infuriating me. I can't work with someone like that."
He narrowed his eyes. I struck a nerve with my words.
"Could you please grow up? I'm not professional, right. You're firing me because you don't like me. I don't know the dictionary meaning but that ain't professional either. You're just scared that someone might figure you out and realize you're not the scary person you pretend to be."
"You shut the hell up" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I could see some of employees looking at us. No one has ever stood in my cabin and said these many insulting words. "Do you've any idea what I could do to your career? The best thing right now for you is to get your shit together and leave before I do something that can't be undone."
"You're unbelievable. You're so fucking unbelievable" he started walking towards the door. He stopped and turned around to say the last thing he could possibly say to hurt me. "I figured out why your husband left you. If I were him, I would've left you too." And he walked out without even realizing the impact of his stupid words on me.
He didn't stop but all of sudden I felt the world stop. No one has mentioned my marriage in a long time and they had a good reason not to. I don't want to remember that life but as soon as I heard those words, everything flashed infront of my eyes. It was every memory I had ever blocked out of my life.
I saw people looking at me, standing near my door. I grabbed my bag and left immediately. I don't want to have a mental breakdown infront of the people I work with. I'm respected and feared around here for some reason and I'm not going to ruin that. I'm not going be my miserable self again.
I smiled and said "I do"
He smiled and lifted my veil to kiss me. It was a small, simple kiss but it was filled with love. It was the promise of our lives together. I looked my husband and couldn't believe we finally did it, we got married. It was a beautiful ceremony. It was small, only close friends and family.
I looked at my wedding ring and smiled to myself. I always dreamed how I would find my perfect guy and have a life filled with love and joy. I couldn't believe that I'm going to be lucky enough to wake up next to my husband every morning and have the life I've always wanted.
My husband put his arm around my waist and pulled me close as we made our way to the dance floor, for our first dance.
"This isn't the big dream wedding you always wanted but I promise you, you'll have your dream life. I promise to wake up every day and fall in love with you all over again. I'll always make you laugh, even when you want to cry. I'll be there when you feel life isn't fair and unjust. Most of all, I'll protect you and keep you safe for the rest of our lives."
I had tears of joy in my eyes. It was the best decision I've ever made. I'm married to a man who loves me more than I could possibly imagine. I look forward to a happy and satisfying future.
"Ashley?" My main door opened and revealed a worried Liam standing. "I heard what happened at the office. I was worried about you."
I was sitting in my living room, on my rocking chair, looking at the piece of paper in my hand and reading it again and again. I don't know why I was doing that considering it was hurting me but I couldn't stop.
He pulled up a chair and placed it in front of me. He took the paper out of my hand slowly and read it.
"Why do have this? I thought you burned all of these." He asked looking at my wedding vows. I had written them on the itinerary right before the ceremony.
"I did burn them all, except that. It reminds me of something."
"What?"
I looked at him. I could see he was concerned although my eyes were cloudy because of the tears "They remind me how broken I'm."
He took my hand in his hand and patted it gently. "You're not broken. You're healing, it'll take time and patience but you're going to be just fine."
I wanted to believe him. I wanted to say how right he was but I didn't. I looked at that piece of paper that once made me the happiest bride ever, is now just memory I try to forget. It hard for people to let go things, even the ones we want to.
"I should've known something was wrong when I stayed awake at nights crying when everything was his fault. He didn't flinch, react or anything. He pretend nothing ever happened and I let him. I'm not broken because of him, I'm broken because of me. I'm to be blamed for everything I let him get away with."
Liam held me and made me face him. "You did everything you were supposed to do. You gave him everything you got but he hurt you. You were loyal to him, you loved him, you did everything what felt right but he hurt you still. It is his fault, everything, all of it is his fault only. You can't keep living like this. The fact that he can't hurt you again is your closure. You stood for yourself, that's not something broken people do."
I simply nodded. I know he wanted me to feel better, feel together, but I wasn't. I'm never together, I'm always conflicted. I'm always picking up the pieces of my life that my past destroyed and trying to somehow put it together.
I'm hurting all the time but I can't let that effect the people I love and care about. Liam wanted me to believe in what he said and even though I don't, I pretend I do. I can't put through them this. They didn't make wrong decision, I did and I should be able to live with it.
"Come now. Let's go" Liam said breaking my thoughts.
"Where?"
"My place. My wife is freaking out."
I smiled a little "Okay. Just wait downstairs for me."
I changed into something more comfortable and causal. I wiped my face and put on a little concealer to hide my tear stricken face.
I got into the car and with the slam of my door, Liam started driving. I was quiet most of the way until I remembered Liam was a guest lecturer today in some University.
"Weren't you supposed to be giving lectures somewhere?"
"Yeah, in the morning. I did gave the lecture but couldn't stay for the Q&A. Jenny called freaking out about what happened at the office that I came running."
I felt guilty. It wasn't his fault that I can't get a grip on myself. It wasn't David's fault either. Although his words did hurt me and made remember the things I wanted to forget, he had no idea what had happened.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak out or leave like that. I just couldn't let my employees see me like a mess"
Liam looked at me and gave me a reassuring smile. "You're family, Ash. You shouldn't be sorry. It was just a lecture and I did give the lecture." I nodded.
I've known Liam since I was kid. My parents are his godparents. Our families had very strong relationship, way before we were born. We've been close friends ever since we were in diapers.
Liam was very young when he lost his parents in a car accident. He was devastated and all alone. My dad took him in and very soon we became a family. He was the sibling I never had.
After high school he went abroad to study medical. He didn't just came back with a medical degree but also a fiancé. He meet Jennifer at the bookstore she used to work. He was so smitten that he read every book she suggested and discussed it with her. Considering the fact that he hated reading, I believed she had a very strong effect on him. Until one day he got really tired reading endless books, he finally ask her out. Turned out she never read any of those hundred books she suggested, she was just waiting for him to ask her out. They came back, got married and are the cutest most perfect couple.
Both of them have been a constant support. A rock to me. It was them who helped me in the past and even today, anytime I need something, or someone, one of them is always there. When I was the most alone, they were there. They didn't let me get lonely or ever feel that I'm bound by my past. They've been one of the most supportive people in my life and I'm forever grateful.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Liam asked, breaking my thoughts.
"Um. Uh. Nothing. Just... Nothing"
Even though I could tell he was curious, he didn't push it. He knows when to ask a question, when to let me be me.
I entered behind Liam to witness Jenny pacing in their living room with her kids following her. I could tell she was worried but the little munchkins following her was adorable.
Liam and Jenny have two kids. The elder one, Harrison, is five years old and a genius in my opinion. The younger one, Ivana, three years old and is complete trouble. She's also probably gonna break alot of hearts.
I waved at the kids and they both came running towards me. I hugged them both so tightly. I've been busy with work and haven't been able to visit them in almost a month.
"Do you know that Ivana spit on my project that I was going to-"
"Sweetie, don't tattle on your sister. Why don't you show Aunt Ashley the math number house you made yesterday?" Jenny suggested and he ran off to his room.
"You idiot. You bitch" Jenny snapped as soon as Harrison left the room. "You had me worried sick"
"Yeah I know and I'm so sorry. I wanted to call you, I just wasn't in the right frame of mind."
"I was so worried and I couldn't come over because my asshole nanny decided to take a leave today and my shit-"
"Could you shimmer down your curses? We've kids in this house." Liam remarked.
"I don't care. I'm so wound up." She sighed. She looked at me and then hugged me "I'm so glad you're okay."
"I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to make a whole thing out of it."
"I get it. No worries. Just call me next time, okay?" I nodded.