“Will you tell me again what I’m doing up at this time?” I ask blearily, rubbing my eyes.
“It’s ten a.m. Autumn, hardly the crack of dawn.” Charlie replies, the keys jangling as he unlocks the garage door.
“Yeah, I know. That’s because we were only just going to bed at the crack of dawn,” I reply, just as Charlie finally manages to unjam the door and cranks it open.
“Do I have to remind you that it was you who agreed to this?” I follow Charlie into the dark gloom of our garage, picking my way gingerly around things I’d forgotten we owned: discarded wellies, my dad’s fishing equipment, a pair of boxing gloves from Charlie’s sports phase, and – inexplicably – a horse’s saddle.
“You already have,” I retort, as we finally find what we need, wedged in right at the back of the garage. “Several times,”
“Well,” Charlie grunts, his voice straining as he heaves a misshapen punch bag out of the way. “If you hadn’t agreed to go on this bike ride…” He finally gets to his bike, which is covered in scratchy brown rust. “We wouldn’t have to do this,”
I let out an exaggerated groan.
“Who even goes on bike rides anymore?” I huff, helping him to pull it out.
“You ride your bike to work,” He shrugs, giving one final tug, sending it springing back into his leg and letting out a shocked yelp.
“Yeah, but not for fun…” I mutter, slipping past him and examining my mum’s bike.
When Charlie told me about the plans I had mistakenly made last night, I’d thought I might be able to get out of them - seeing as I had left my bike chained to the rack outside of Two Scoops when Lucas’s mum had offered to give me a lift back. But of course, my mum chose that moment to remember her old bike, which she was more than happy for me to borrow. “Whose idea was this again?”
“If I remember correctly, it was yours.”
“Fine. Let’s just get this over with,”
*
Charlie said we’d wait for Lucas and ride with him, so we end up waiting another fifteen minutes, which gives me ample opportunity to complain some more. But, despite all my grumbling, I actually begin to enjoy it once I’m out there. It’s easy to enjoy being outdoors on a day like today, when the sun is making everything look like it’s been dipped in honey and the whole place pratically tastes of summer.
We’re meeting the rest of them at the top of Pestfurlong Hill, a sloping grassy descent perfect for sledging in the winter and picnics in the summer. Me, Charlie and Lucas arrive at the same time as Piper does, approaching from the opposite direction and pedalling hard, out of breath.
“Did you come up the hill?” I ask her, taking in her red-faced appearance.
“It…was…a…shortcut,” She manages to get out in between her laboured breaths.
“It seems like it,” Matty chimes in, leaning his elbows on the handlebars of his bike, flicking his hair lazily out of his eyes. Halle lounges nearby on her own lime green bike, her hair newly dip-dyed an autumnal orange and tied into a sporty ponytail. She grins when she sees me, and I wonder if she’s thinking back to our confusing conversation at the semi-finals. I know that I do, almost every time I look Lucas in the eye.
It’s starting to get a little embarrassing.
“What time is Jake turning up?” My brother asks, looking at his watch.
“We’re here!” I turn around (a difficult feat when you’re perched precariously atop a bike older then you are) and am greeted with the sight of Jake, waving as he pedals towards us. Following behind is Xander, his coppery hair glinting in the sunlight.
In my peripheral vision, I notice Piper sit up a little straighter, untucking her hair from behind her ears so it falls more flatteringly around her face. I can’t quite tell if it’s her recent exertion or something else that’s making her blush so red.
Jake and Xander slot into the group, and the general conversation seems to be something along the lines of wondering where we can actually go. I wheel my bike back a few paces, and suddenly find that I’m stood next to Jake.
“Hey,” He grins, and I smile back, focusing on my handlebars. “Thanks for inviting me,”
“No problem,” I reply, and then the conversation pretty much dies out. A silence descends: not quite awkward but definitely veering off into that territory. “So, how have you been?”
“Okay. It’s a little crowded at Louise’s now that Xander’s home as well,” I nod.
“Yeah. Not meaning to be rude at all, but why is Xander here? I wouldn’t have thought this was his thing?” I question, glancing over to where the older boy stands chatting to Charlie and Halle. He seems genuinely interested in the conversation as well, not just that feigned half interest whilst texting on their phones that most people his age seem to have. Jake said he was in sixth form, so he must be around seventeen. I doubt he thought he was going to be spending his weekend with his cousin and a bunch of his fifteen year old friends.
“Well, he didn’t have much better to do,” Jake laughs, following my gaze. He lowers his voice then, leaning in a little closer. When he speaks, his tone is conspiratorial. “Not gonna lie, I think he may have a slight crush,”
“He does?” I ask in disbelief, doing a double take over to where he’s stood. “On who?” A thought hits me. “It’d better not be Halle. Because that would be the absolute final straw, I’ve got big plans for her.”
Jake gives me a quizzical look, then glances back over to where his cousin stands, still talking to Charlie and Halle. I see Jake chew on his lip a little, like he’s trying to decide against saying something. Eventually he just shrugs.
“Believe me, Autumn. I think Halle’s safe,” There’s a hint of humour in his eyes, and I’m about to press him for further details when I hear a loud whooping noise.
Matty is speeding down the hill, gripping tight to his handlebars as he rocks over bumps and rivets in the grassy ground. His bike swerves in a zig-zag path to the bottom of the hill, where he skids to a stop with an audible brake screech and an exhilarated laugh.
“I can’t believe that actually worked,” Lucas laughs, and Piper begins to join in. Jake’s eyes immediately zero in on her, and we both roll our bikes over to where their little group is stood.
“Can’t believe what worked?” Xander asks, and his voice is a lot deeper than I expected.
“We always come sledging here in the winter, so I thought how different could it be riding down the hill in the summer?” Piper shrugs, watching Matty as he makes his way back up the hill. “And, uh, Matty was the only one who volunteered to try it.”
“Why would it be so bad?” Jake asks, puzzled.
“When you sledge down it, you have to watch out at the bottom,” I add, catching on. “Because…”
“Because there’s a load of bushes and trees down there hiding another drop, so if you don’t break on time you come out on the other side of Warrshire, and you can’t get back through.” Xander says, and we all turn to face him. “I used to sledge here too. And, believe me, I learned that the hard way.”
“I got trapped through there when I was six. My dad had to army crawl through to come and find me,” Charlie grins, which prompts Xander to laugh. I can remember that day even now, how I’d thought Charlie was gone forever. I think I’d asked if I could have his bedroom.
Matty’s finally joined us, laughing but out of breath.
“Man, that hill is hard work,” He heaves, letting his head drop to rest on his knee. “But you guys have to try that!”
“Might as well,” Halle grins, patting him on the back as she pedals towards the crest of the hill and stands up on the pedals to ride the rest of the way down, laughing as she goes. Lucas and Jake follow in quick succession, seeming to talk as they rocket their way down, not half as graceful as Halle between them. Charlie takes off next, tailed by Xander and Matty. Piper’s about to follow when I place a hand on her arm and stop her.
“Wait a second,” I plead, and she turns to face me, immediately worried. I take a deep breath. “Piper…you like him, don’t you?”
Piper’s cheeks go pink. I see it, even though she ducks her head in an attempt to hide it.
“Like who?” She says weakly, and she knows that I won’t buy it so I don’t pretend to.
“Pipes, we’ve spent enough time this summer not being completely honest with each other, let’s just get to the point, please.” I say wearily, suddenly feeling exceptionally tired. “You know who I mean.”
“You want to do this now?” She asks, and I nod. “Then, yeah, I do. I really like him, Autumn, and I wish I didn’t, because then everything would be a lot easier.”
“Tell me about it,” I laugh, which seems to ease the tension a little bit. Piper sags into her bike seat, and I settle my feet firmly on the ground.
“Are you mad?” Piper asks fearfully, and I pause for a few long seconds – making doubly sure – before responding. And when I shake my head, I know that it’s the absolute truth.
“No. He’s easily likeable, and we always went for the same guys anyway,” I smile at her, and she gives me a tiny, barely there one in return. “I’m a bit annoyed at him, but that’s a story for some other time. Or never.”
“Well, there’s not much point anyway,” Piper shrugs, slumping her shoulders. “He’s not going to find out, I swear. Summer’s nearly over, and then he’s going back to Bath, and then we can both forget about him.”
“You don’t want to forget about him,” My voice is soft, and Piper shakes her head, a little bit sad but mostly determined. Piper would be willing to deny herself this to make me happy.
“You know he likes you, right?” I say, and Piper shoots me an exasperated look.
“Autumn, I’m not going to embarrass myself based off of your guesswork. He doesn’t.”
"He does like you though. He told me," I grin at her conspiratorially. Instead of the expected hopeful smile, Piper gives me a look which can only be described as mournful. I see the downward twist of her mouth, her forehead crinkling like cardboard.
"Oh, Autumn..." She breathes out slowly, quietly, and I feel my heart sink like a stone. Realisation hits her. "Is that why you...?"
"Well, yeah," I shrug, trying not to seem too concerned. "But that, and that his eyes are too close together." Piper doesn’t even crack a smile.
"Autumn, seriously. If you still have feelings for him I won't-"
"Pipes, I'm over it," I cut in hurriedly, shaking my head to accentuate my denial. "Honest,"
"No, Autumn, listen.” Piper sits up straight, and I know she’s about to launch into a speech. “You're my best friend.” She pauses, tapping her fingers against the bell so that it makes a tinny sound. “No, that sounds so...well, ‘best friend’ is an understatement, I guess, because if it wasn't for you there is no way I’d be exactly who I am right now.” She takes a deep breath.
“And I will never, ever do anything to make you feel like you mean anything less than what you are. Which is my best friend. Probably in the entire universe. Like, if the universe imploded, exploded, whipped around and brought itself back together the blown up pieces of me would find the blown up pieces of you and we would rent a rubbish film and drink hot chocolate together."
She's rambling, but it makes perfect sense. I think I’m tearing up a bit.
Suddenly, all that time I spent this summer subconsciously blaming her for something out of her control - out of anyone's control really, if there is such a thing as fate - seems ridiculously stupid. How could I have for a second thought that my feelings regarding Jake were more important than Piper?
I'm about to say so, but Piper's not finished.
"And what I’m really trying to say is that I’d rather have you as my best friend than any random guy as my boyfriend." She smiles sheepishly. And I just answer by throwing my arms around her in a bone-crushing hug.
"I didn’t expect that," she wheezes, when I finally let her go.
"Good. People need to be kept on their toes. And, speaking as the person who would happily watch a film and have a hot chocolate with you when splattered into a million pieces, I give you and Jake my complete, absolute blessing,"
"You… what? Autumn that wasn’t the point."
"I know. But you like him, he likes you, he doesn’t like me in that way and I’m seriously over the whole thing anyway. Go for it. Your best friend wants to see you happy."
Piper bites her lip, shaking her head.
“Autumn, I’m not sure…”
“You don’t have to be sure! All I’m saying is, that option is there for you, and I want you to know that if you decide to go for it, it’s completely guilt-free.” I exclaim, and I honestly mean it. Piper still looks unconvinced. “Look, I’m not saying you should go and passionately declare your love for him right now. Just, its fine if you want to.” I stop, thinking it over. “Actually, I wouldn’t passionately declare anything. It might be a little embarrassing.”
“Just a little,” Piper laughs, before knocking my arms with hers. “Come on, race you,”
*
Sometimes you just have those days where you act like you’re five again, and this was one of those days. The eight of us spent the better part of the afternoon cycling round what felt like the entirety of Warrshire: pedalling across golden cornfields, the feathery stalks brushing our shoulders, and through the dappled shade of a sweet-smelling orchard before constructing a rickety wooden bridge to cross an unexpected shallow river. Of course, the makeshift bridge promptly broke, dumping me, Lucas and Matty in the river.
“Déjà vu, anybody?” I grumbled, as I wobbled to my feet and righted my bike.
“At least we’re not late for anything this time,” Lucas pointed out, running a hand through his hair and shaking the water out of it. “Are we?”
After helping me up onto the bank – and agreeing to carry my bike out – I forgave their terrible bridge-making skills, but I insisted we found somewhere to dry off. We cycled another half mile downstream before re-entering the Pestfurlong Hill site, and finding a sunny place in the middle of a grassy bank.
We lay sprawled on the grass far longer than the time it took to dry off. It was easy to relax with the sun warm on your face and the earth cool at your back. I tanned my legs and made daisy chain crowns whilst they boys argued about the best way to fix a bike chain (Matty’s had fallen off in the eventful dump in the river) and we spent our time playing word games and talking without really saying anything.
I closed my eyes for a few seconds, and when I opened them again the air was significantly cooler, and Lucas’s face was hovering above mine.
“Autumn? Were you asleep?” he whispered.
“No, I just had my eyes closed for a long time,” I whispered back, wondering why we needed to be so quiet. Propping myself up on my elbows, I realised that pretty much everyone else was asleep. “Should we wake them up?”
“Probably. It’s getting dark.” Lucas had moved away when I first sat up, and now he stretched out and was lay on his stomach beside me. “Have you seen the stars?”
I followed his gaze up overhead, tilting my head back. The sky really was darkening: a velvet blue stretch dotted with tiny pinprick stars. If I turned my head I could see that the sky was still streaked with a dim orange, but it was fading fast to make room for the night sky.
“It’s so clear,” I whispered, to which Lucas nodded.
“That’s what I like about summer. In winter, it’s normally too cloudy to see them. Spring's normally alright for it though,” He says, a small smile tugging at his lips.
“What about autumn?” I grin at him, and he looks over at me thoughtfully.
“Autumn’s perfect.” His smile is a little more on the teasing side now, and I shove his shoulder whilst pulling a face.
“Shut up,”
“No,” He laughs as he moves his head back to look up at the stars, and there’s a small part of me that wishes he’d look over at me again.
*
We’ve almost reached Pestfurlong Hill when the first firework goes off.
“Did you see that?” Halle asks, coming to a stop atop the hill to gaze up at where the faint remains of the firework fizzles in the sky.
“Who’s setting them off?” I wonder aloud, as we all come to a rest, propping our feet to the ground and leaning on the handlebars.
“Does it matter?” Matty says, as the next lot go off. They’re the expensive kind, exploding into the inky night in a multitude of colours, popping and sizzling and screeching one after the other.
“I guess not,” I reply, staring in awe at the spectacle taking place overhead. They’re so breathtakingly beautiful, it’s easy to forget what’s going on on the ground.
A few paces in front of me, in the dim light of the neon colours above, I can see Jake and Piper standing close to one another. Another explosion of colour, and I see the silhouettes of their intertwined hands.
A little twinge of jealousy and betrayal wracks through me, but it’s more a pinprick than a knife that worms its way around my heart. Of course, I expected it to be there. And maybe it’ll never go away. But that tiny knot of rotten emotions is overwhelmed by everything that’s good about this moment, everything good about this summer.
We don’t have perfection, I realise. What we have are perfect almosts, things that set your head spinning and your heart pounding in your chest. A moment that’s so beautiful you have to close your eyes to experience it, something that’s warm and sweet and shiny and inconsequential but huge, all at the same time. And I guess that’s all I really need.
Maybe this wasn’t the summer I had expected. But that doesn’t make it any less mine.
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a/n – so hey guys if my calculations are correct I have approximately two chapters left to write
I don’t think u understand the magnitude of this like omg it’s finally almost over what this book will be complete
And once it’s complete…so I’ve got this crazy idea of entering it in the next wattys… good idea or bad idea??
Anyway, I really hope you’re enjoying these final chapters, I feel like some sort of mastermind because I know what going to happen O.O
p.s, this is an appeal… so this book just got back in the charts, and I’d love for it to go even higher…so please vote/comment, recommend to your friends, paint on a billboard, read it to your dog, use as a torture device… yeah man go for it I give u my blessing
okay im gonna go write more now byeee