Chapter 3
Once I’ve stopped outside my house it dawns on me that he actually saw me. He actually knows that I was staring at him. No wonder he wants to stay away from me. I mean, who does that? He’s just a person. A beautiful, sexy, mysterious person - but still a person.
I park opposite the garage, as I’m always the first out and the last one in, and head inside. It’s a nice house here, I do like it. But it’s not mine, it’s not my home. I live with my aunt and uncle, Helena had been great to me, always looked out for me, when her sister, my mother, was off doing something or other that would never involve me. And as much as I love her for it, the suburban house we live in has never quite fitted. I used to live in town with Sarah and Nick, my biological parents. But when I was eight Sarah had an affair with another guy, she and my father split because of it, and I haven’t spoken to him ever since. They were on bad terms, argued all the time, so it was almost a relief when they broke it off. They’d never married. Nick had had plenty of other women over when mom was away, which was more often than not with someone else anyway. I think they stayed together because I was there. But I’m still one of the many ‘stupid things they did in college’ and have never really been anything other than that to them.
I have zero contact with my father, and all I got from my mom was an address of where she was moving to. Nothing since she left. I think she may have spoken to Helena a few times, but I never get anything from her. I feel nothing towards her. She abandoned me almost without a second thought, and I never really knew her when she was around. She isn’t and was never my mom. When they were around, I either looked after myself, or Helena came round to do it. They did nothing but argue, and yet, Helena always stuck by me and tried to talk her sister out of the stupid ideas she came up with.
My aunt is nice and is motherly towards me in a weird way. I am still very much her failed sisters failed attempt at children, but she overlooks that to make sure I can have a life. And I really appreciate all she does for me, but god to I hate her choice in men. Adam has been with her since I moved in. She took me in when my mum went off, prepared almost to leave me in the abandoned house it seemed. Adam had money, so they bought this house together and now, almost ten years down the line, she’s pregnant with her first child, a bit of a long wait, but they are both young, and already had me around. She’s only a few months in, but as soon as she found out, she stopped working and became a house wife. She doesn’t quite get just how much Adam enjoys this. He loves her doing everything for him.
It’s not like he has any big shot job that keeps him working for all hours, he is almost home as much as she is. The money came from inheritance from some great uncle I think. I don’t really speak to him, as a result of having absolutely nothing in common.
I can picture the scene now. As soon as I enter the house there will be an over enthusiastic hello from the kitchen and a grunt from the living room, just audible over the computerised explosions coming from the surround sound speakers he’s so precious about.
I open the door and shout a ‘hey’ to them, and there is a grunt, but no hello from the kitchen. I step in to the tiled white foyer and dump my bag and keys on the side table. I walk through the arch that forms part of the open plan living area, and find Adam on the sofa, in jeans and a tattered t-shirt, the usual attire.
He ignores me, even though I stand just feet from him. ‘Adam.’ I say.
No recognition.
‘Adam,’ I say again a little louder.
‘Shoes. Ada, take those fucking shoes off!’
His usual charming self, spoken without even a glance away from the screen. Eye contact with him is something close to impossible. Even though it’s him asking me, I remove my shoes, as Helena doesn’t like it either. I don’t necessarily get it - all the floors on this level are tile anyway.
‘Where’s Helena?’
‘Out.’
‘I gathered that. Where out?’ She is never out at this time. A Monday especially.
‘Don’t get cocky with me, you little -’ I cut the game, switching the flat screen off with the remote. He removes his socked feet off the coffee table and throws the controller onto the floor. He looks at me expectantly, only for a second before looking down to my feet, just to make sure. He’s got a stern look on his face, getting redder by the second. ‘Well, what the fuck is so important, Dailia?’
Dailia is what my father used to call me when I did something wrong – more often than not bringing up in a conversation one of the many ‘girlies’ he had home, when sat around the dinner table. Adam knows I hate being called it, but I have tried over the last years to stop it, and now he just says it to piss me off.
‘Where is Helena?’ I try to say it as calmly as possible; I think it’s almost there.
‘She had a doctor’s thing.’ He says, waving his hand in the direction of the door before moving to pick up the controller but I kick it away.
‘About the baby?’
‘I guess so, yeah.’ He says as if I'm the idiot.
‘You guess? That’s your baby she’s carrying you know.’ Typical, stay at home all day and not even bother to go to one appointment. ‘Why are you not with her? When did she go?’
‘What’s with all the fucking questions?’
‘You are meant to be there with her!’
‘Oh go upstairs and do some homework, Dailia. Stop fretting.’
He turns back to the screen then, snatching the remote from the floor, and resuming the game.
I want to leave him to it, but I’m not going to leave her on her own.
‘When did she leave, Adam?’ I say through gritted teeth.
‘Dunno.’
‘Is it the usual hospital?’
‘How the fuck am I supposed to know?’
She’s your wife! I leave him, I’ll see if I can get hold of her, and if not head over to the usual hospital.
I pick up the phone from the cradle and dial her cell.
‘Hey, Ada’
‘Oh, hey.’ I wasn’t expecting her to pick up so quickly. ‘Where are you?’ She spoke loudly, so can’t be in the hospital, she gets nervous and self -conscious in those situations – even more reason for Adam to have been there with her.
‘On my way back from the hospital. I’ll be there soon. I have news!’ She seems very excited, which is a good sign, but I’m still pissed at Adam for staying here.
‘Okay, see you soon then.’
‘Yeah. Bye!’ I can almost see the smile on her face.
‘She’s on her way home.’
‘Ya see, told you.’
No you didn’t. ‘You should be with her.’
‘Yeah, well you shouldn’t.’
I’m not with her, but I know what he means, he has made it clear many a time that he dislikes having me here. But what an awful comeback, he really is a child.
‘Hey, Ada, can you get me a beer?’
What the hell?
‘It’s like four in the afternoon.’ I shout back to him, going back into the hall. I fetch my bag and head up the stairs to my room. The floors up here are all carpeted, including the many steps of the wide, wooden staircase, recognisable of some ostentatious house seen mainly on film. My room is the smallest room in the house. Mostly because Adam wouldn’t allow me any other when I was younger, but to be honest I’d prefer a smaller room, all the open expanses within in this house make you crave that bit of snugness.
I pull open the door and collapse onto the bed. My bag thumps onto the floor next to me, as a solid reminder that I had school today. And that it was both the best and worst day at that place so far. I get up and pull open the drapes, which I forgot to do this morning in my haste to get out the door.
I un-pack my stuff and sit back on the bed. Evelyn has texted me, requesting my attendance to a ‘Back to School Sucks’ party at one of the many guys’ she knows, houses. I would normally go with her, keep her out of harm’s way, but I don’t really feel like it. She asks me to call her later to discuss – which translates to ‘we need to talk about the new guy before you make any decisions.’ I tell her I’ll call at five, our usual time, and she responds almost as if she has been holding the phone in her hand, waiting for my reply.
I check the time and she has probably only just left practice, so will be waiting for her dad to come and collect her as she doesn’t have a car. She tells me to call on the dot, and that it’s cold. I decide not to respond other than an ‘x’ as she knows that in normal circumstances I would give her a ride back, but now she’s moved to the opposite side of town, and I don’t want to be driving back and forth all the time, as well as hanging around for practice to finish. As much as I love her.
I switch on my laptop and go to check my mail when the front door slams downstairs. A muffled shout for Adam bounces its way up to me, and I head down to see what the news is.
Just as I start coming down the stairs, Helena meets Adam at the entrance of the living area, he’s a completely different person around her.
‘Hi gorgeous.’ He kisses her and she almost falls into him, swooning. ‘How was it?’
She’s not stupid, my aunt, but when it comes to men she never receives the full picture. In her eyes they are always slightly fuzzed out, but she is blind to that and sees only what she wants to see. And it may sound awful, but with Adam that one thing is most likely his looks, as I can’t see anything else about him to like. And he is nothing compared to Clayton Harris.
He is tall, blonde and always tan. Even though he sits on the couch most of every day, when he isn’t he works out, so he has a slim, muscular body. He is in his mid-thirties, while my aunt is early. He has one of those faces that could work on a perfume add, but one where you hate the guy doing it. He just has a sour look about him, something that Helena doesn’t see at all.
‘Well, I know the sex!’
Oh my god. It was that scan, and he didn’t go! I desperately want to hurt him right now, what a –
‘Ada, what’s up?’ I must have made a noise or something as they both look up to me.
‘Nothing, carry on Lena.’ I say, again through gritted teeth.
I have to call her Lena to her face, as I won’t call her aunt or mom, as she is too much of a mom to be aunt and too much of an aunt to be mom. Lena is what we settled on, as Helena is what my mum used to call her, and she doesn’t like that.
Adam has his arm wrapped around her, as she stands still in her coat and boots – obviously too excited to remember the rule. She looks down to her swollen stomach and smiles. ‘It’s gonna be a little, beautiful, boy.’ She says, in awe of the idea.
‘That’s fantastic.’ I say, happy for her, I have a feeling they were trying for a while.
‘Oh, Leny, that’s brilliant.’ A smile pulls across his face, and his hand reaches to touch her stomach.
‘I know. Our little boy.’ I feel rather like an invasion on their little private world, not the first time, so decide to head into the kitchen. I turn and leave them, only to hear once my back is turned the tell-tale sound of his lips on hers.
Glad I left; I head past the dining table, probably bigger than a lot of kitchens, and into our kitchen. Far, far bigger than the size that is needed. The fridge towers upwards and I reach for a carton of juice. I grab a class from the stand and head with it and the carton into the adjoining room, what I call the library, what they call my room. There is actually a door to this room, a large, heavy wooden one to match the stairs, which I close behind me. I come in here a lot, when they do not. It is by far the best room in the house.
I often bring friends in here, and have had a few parties after the persuasive hands of Evelyn and Idris have been pushed on me. It’s great for it though, next to the kitchen, entrance to the garden, and also an entrance to the basement. Which is completely kitted out now-a-days with as many lights as Evelyn could find and afford to put there, as she dislikes it otherwise because of some horror movie she watched years ago.
I sit myself down onto a chair and just stay there for a while, thinking on the day. I don’t know what will happen with Clayton Harris tomorrow, but I know I shouldn’t dwell on it, and let things happen as they happen, as god knows I can make up some stories in my head that will most likely never come true, and just make me hope too much. I sip at the juice and before I know it, it’s almost five. There is no phone in here, so I get up to get my cell from my bedroom.
As I walk through the rooms to the stairs, I realise Adam and Lena are no longer down here. Her coat is on the floor, so I pick it up and hang it in the cupboard. She has removed her boots also, but just at the bottom of the stairs, almost onto that inevitable stain carrier of a white carpet. I pick them up and put them on the rack. I can’t hear them from down here. Their room is across the hall from mine, it’s basically half the house, like a huge hotel room in LA or something. I reach my bedroom door, which I left open, and still hear nothing. I leave it open and grab my cell, ready to call Evelyn.
Then I do hear something. And I sure wish I didn’t. For a big house, the walls are very thin, so any moderately loud noise from their bedroom can be heard from mine. With or without the door closed. Whether that be an argument, or what an argument always ends with in this house; sex.
I quickly shut my bedroom door to drown out more of it. Evelyn, although knowing of his ways, thinks Adam is pretty hot and doesn’t really mind this in her twisted little mind. But me, not so much. And it is a common occurrence. It’s really quite disturbing actually.
I think they were quieter about it when I was younger, but for about a year now it has been pretty obvious they no longer care. I go to my docking station and plug in the first song that comes up. It’s some up-beat thing that drowns them out completely. Thank heavens.
I can’t really call her from in here, so I decide to head out for a bit – what I normally do in this situation if in the day time. At night it’s a bit more difficult to turn music up loud or run out the house. So in the latter half of my teenage years, headphones have been one of my greatest friends.
I almost run down the stairs and grab my keys to go straight to my car.
I get in and just drive, the area we live in is typical suburbia. Tree lined streets, large drive ways, privacy hedges and many an SUV parked against the sidewalk. It’s a quiet area, and most people keep themselves to themselves. I drive through some of the streets until I get to a dead end and pull up there, outside a house with no car in the drive, so hopefully I won’t get in the way. The houses around here are all pretty large, and white with porches and green lawns, all that stuff. I suppose it is a nice place to live, but it’s also pretty boring.
This is one of the only points in the local area where not every person known to live there will be watching me, with no kids on the street at this time, and no one knowing my face hopefully. I cut the engine. It’s quiet around me, not many cars as well as people. Over my shoulder is the driveway into Nina’s house. Nina is an old friend of Evelyn’s from the first year of high school, before she transferred.
I went to her house a couple of times to start with, as Evelyn occasionally met up with her. But after a few years she started acting weird and none of us see her any more. She went out with Idris for a while. That did not go well. Most of the reason we don’t talk actually. Nina still goes to the other school but lives in the same neighbourhood as me. She was nice enough until she hurt Idris like she did.
I have known Idris almost as long as Evelyn, as he was one of the first people I really spoke to when I first started middle school. I never had many friends before that other than Evelyn, as I was the girl people’s parents saw purely as the one with the mother who hated her. Nothing but that.
I unclip my seat belt and call Evelyn. Relaxing before the most likely difficult conversation I am about to have. Trying to get out of something that Ev wants to do is almost impossible.
She picks up on the first ring.
‘You’re late!’ I check the clock on the dash board, and yes I am, but it’s only like 2 minutes past.
‘Not by much.’
‘Nah, only kidding.’ She exhales. ‘So, what’s your answer?’ She says in a very solemn tone, probably knowing what I'm going to say already.
‘Well, I don’t know whether -‘
‘Wait, before you continue I’d like to pitch something to you.’ She pauses, possibly waiting for me to protest, I can’t be bothered right now, so allow her to continue. She sucks in a big breath, ‘the Harris’s will be there!’ She almost shouts down the phone.
‘Harris’s? Plural? You hate Gia after one day at school and you already want to go a party where she is?’
‘I don’t hate her!’ She says defensively.
‘Oh, well, I guess what you said earlier, quote; “Gia, who I like as much as I like dog shit on my shoe”, was really you just telling me how much you actually do enjoy having dog shit on your shoe?’
‘I didn’t say that!’
‘You did.’
‘Ah, well I didn’t mean it. Anyway, it’s not just her, her brother will be there. She says he’s a fucking party downer, but at least you could talk to him!’
‘Evelyn, I don’t understand. Not five hours ago you were torn up over the new girl, and getting pissy with me and Idris because we weren’t being sympathetic enough. And now you tell me you have been having chummy conversations with Gia about whether or not her brother enjoys parties. Now it’s my turn; what’s up with you?’
‘For fuck sake Ada, am I not allowed to talk to anyone else but you and Idris?’
NO! That is not what I am saying. My god, can’t she see that she’s being a little weird? What is going on in her head? Maybe she feels getting close with Gia will allow her to stay on her high stool or something, but not have to worry about competing with her. From what I saw and heard about Gia today, I doubt that would ever happen. Gia pays a lot of money to be the most desired. No one wears designer clothes unless they want to be noticed.
‘Ev, I am not trying to stop you talking to her. I’m just confused as to why you are. I mean, what changed?’
‘She was at practice and she had some good ideas. She was really, really great. I want to get to know her. You want to get to know Clayton. It’s a win, win. Come to the party.’
‘Did she invite you?’
‘Yeah. Does that make a difference? I know I said it was a guy I knew -’
‘Wait, you mean it’s at their house? Her party?’ I push up and lean against the window, propping my feet up on the passenger seat.
‘Yep. Gonna come? Well, her outhouse or something.’
‘Evelyn, really why do you suddenly like her? What else happened at practice?’ I feel as if I should go to the party now, if Ev feels a friendship with Gia will benefit her then I must be wrong about Gia. But then again, Evelyn can be wrong about people, obvious with the amount of guys she’s dated, so I have to see the bonding in real life. Not just take her word for it.
‘My god, Ada! She’s nice okay? I like her, she’s like me. . .’ She gets quieter and trails off at that last remark, but I decide to pass it off, I’m not getting into that.
Evelyn, as much as she says that she loves me the way I am, has always wanted me to be more like her. In dating activity, fashion style and everything else. She has never said it explicitly, but I know that’s what she sometimes feels.
‘So what kind of party is it?’ I guess I should be grateful she is inviting me, if she really wants to be close to Gia, I don’t think I would be the person to help that cause.
‘Just a party, Ada. Is that a yes?’ She sounds happy now, almost excited. ‘Like my birthday.’
‘Yes, fine. Where is it, what time, do you want my car? The usual thing.’
‘Okay, so it’s in Maiden Way east, Friday night, the big house with the white gates. It’s in the outhouse, you need to go round the back to get there, there’s another gate. Her parents haven’t come down from where they used to live yet, so the house is free as well. She said come at like nine, and it goes on through the night. Don’t bring your car, bring beers, bring some of Adams, he won’t notice. That’s it.’ She sounded as if reading a list off to me, she is obviously quite committed to this.
‘Okay. Shall I come to yours first? As much as your directions were interesting, I don’t think the big house in Maiden Way gives me much of an indication of where to go.’ Every house in Maiden Way was huge. So, as I had guessed, the Harris’s are rich. Very rich.
‘Yeah, sure. Oh, Ada, wear something pretty. I’m sure Lena has something.’
‘Oh, so now you criticise my fashion taste?’ I giggle.
She follows suit. ‘No, no, just want you to impress Clayton.’ She drags out the name, a smile obviously plastered across her face. Great, her trodden down (by me) skills of match making are going to come right back up out of the dark place I have made her keep them.
And for the first time I actually care what the outcome is.
There is a car idling in the background, I hadn’t really noticed until there is a knock on the driver’s window behind me. I am instantly aware of my surroundings, and lift my feet off the seat to better turn to face the owner of the knock.
I am not expecting who I see. Neither is he.
‘Ada?’ His face holds a puzzled expression. He looks me up and down through the glass. I sit up and open the window. I don’t smile, but I know I don’t frown or look angry, so I probably look as puzzled as he does.
‘Cole? W-what are you doing out here?’
‘I could ask you the same.’ He runs his hand through his hair, what he always used to do and looks down towards me, trying to avoid complete eye contact.
‘Cole is there! Ada where are you, I thought you were at home?’ Evelyn makes sure I still know she’s on the line.
‘No you couldn’t. I live just down the street. You live miles away.’ I say to Cole, ignoring Evelyn. I haven’t seen him in over a year now. He and I used to date, he was the guy it didn’t quite work out with.
‘Ada! Let me speak to him!’ Both Evelyn and I have not really spoken to him since the break-up. She’d hated that it’d ended, and still held a grudge against him. Now, I expect she wants to find out exactly what happened from his side.
‘Ev, I’ll phone you back. I need to go.’ I press her off and take the phone from my ear.
‘Was that Evelyn Willet? You can’t really still be close can you? For fuck sake Ada.’
‘Cole, I don’t think it appropriate at this moment in time for you to be lecturing me on who I can and cannot be friends with.’
He scoffs a laugh and steps closer to the car, leaning closer to the window. ‘Why do you do it Ada, you’re so much better than her.’
‘Oh, shut it Cole. What are you doing here?’ I will not let him begin this argument again. He never liked Evelyn, after all my attempts to help them get along. He thought I shouldn’t be so close to her as he thought she was someone I know her not to be. It was one I the reasons I ended it. Yes I ended it.
‘I was going to ask the lazy woman inside the red car that looks like my ex-girlfriends, to get a move on and allow me to get into the drive she’s blocking.’
I take a look round, and yes I am blocking a drive, but as I pointed out earlier, its Nina’s drive.
‘But that’s Nina Morgan’s drive.’
‘Yes, I know.’ He smirks again. He was almost always smiling throughout our relationship as well, even when lecturing me on Ev. I never actually told Evelyn about that, and I almost selfishly hope that Cole isn’t on the scene again, as she might then be informed of the actual reason for our split up. One of the reasons.
‘Well, why are you going to park in her drive?’ Then I look up to see Nina, another person I haven’t spoken to in a long time, sitting in the passenger seat of Cole’s moms car, staring down to what I can only assume is her cell in her lap. I cannot stop a laugh. ‘You and Nina?’ I know its mean, but come on.
‘Why, you jealous?’
‘No. I dumped you remember. Just a little confused.’ I say, giggling. ‘Are you not better than that?’ I shift to have my feet down by the pedals.
‘Oh, don’t be so mean, Ada.’ He says, dropping his head to not look at me.
‘Cole, are you really going with Nina?’
He looks up at that and kind of looks a little guilty. Don’t be guilty! I don’t care who he dates, just as long as it’s not me again, as much as I enjoyed the good parts while they lasted.
He nods and slightly smiles.
‘Are you with anyone?’
I shake my head, ‘No one could trump our undying love!’ I slap my hand to my heart and look up to him, smirking. He tries to also.
‘No, they couldn’t.’ He looks away from me, towards Nina.
‘Well, I better move, hadn’t I?’
‘No, wait. D’you fancy meeting up for a coffee or something? It’d be nice to talk to you.’
‘Sure.’ I smile and start the car.
‘I’ll text you?’
‘Yeah, still the same number.’ I rev the engine a little.
‘Hey, Ada?’
‘Yes?’
‘You look great.’ He says, looking me in the eye as he says it.
‘Cole . . .’
He shakes his head. ‘No, sorry. I know. But, anyway, you’re still gorgeous.’
‘Get back to your girlfriend, Cole.’ I say, looking back over to her.
He takes the unsubtle gesture and backs away from the car, his hands up as in surrender. ‘See you round, Ada.’
‘Bye, Cole.’ I pull away from the sidewalk and head towards home, first waving to him out the window. He still is a friend, even if we are no longer dating and forgetting the fact we haven’t spoken for a long time, but maybe not if he’s going to be inappropriate like that. That kind of makes me uncomfortable. I turn around at the end, and then have to drive back past him, where I see him still standing in the same position. Staring.