"IT'S MIIIIIIINE!" Nate yelled, waving it over his head. "THE SPIRIT STICK IS MIIIIIIIIINE!!!"
"You technically share it with the entire class." I laughed.
"Shut up, it's mine." Nate shot back, twirling the stick around. "I feel like Rafiki in The Lion King."
Five minutes into Animal House's first ever band practice, Nate was singing "Circle of Life", Lauren was texting Lucy, and I was too busy setting up the equipment.
After drawing straws, we decided that I would play bass, Lauren would play piano, and Nate would play drums. Nate said on some songs, we could switch instruments.
"Can we have a band without a guitarist?" Lauren asked. "It would work if we only wanted to be a Twenty One Pilots cover band, but if we wanna do other songs, we might need a guitarist."
"It's our first practice." I thought out loud. "Wait next week, and we'll have auditions or something."
"You just want Camila to join, don't you?" Nate teased.
"She's getting a lot better." I argued. "She just can't play riffs."
"Well, get her a new teacher!"
"I am her teacher." I deadpanned.
"Okay, are we gonna stand here or play something?" Lauren shot back. "Let's do Special Affair."
"Oh my gosh. Not Special Affair." I laughed nervously.
"You know it, right, Y/N?" Lauren asked.
How could I forget? It was the song we made out to.
"Yeah, the bass line is pretty simple. I could-"
Just then, my phone began to ring.
"Give me a second, guys." I answered. "Hello?"
"BABY!" Camila yelled into the phone.
"Camila, aren't you at the wedding?"
"YES! BUT I HAD TO CALL AND TELL YOU THAT ED SHEERAN PUT OUT NEW MUSIC!" Camila screamed. "I DITCHED A CONGA LINE TO TELL YOU THIS!"
"Baby, I would love to listen to it right now!" I giggled. "But, I'm at band practice."
"Oh, sorry, I'll let you go."
"Hey, I wanna see some vacation pictures." I teased.
"You'll get some in fifteen minutes after you're done playing music."
"Okay, love you."
"Love you more."
"Not possible."
"Goodbye, Y/N."
I hung up the phone, and looked at Nate and Lauren.
"Ed Sheeran released some new music." I explained.
"Makes sense." Nate told Lauren.
"Alright, let's do this." Lauren said as I grabbed my bass and Nate went behind the drum.
Nate counted off and I began to play the bass. Lauren waited a few measures and started to sing the song.
Penny for your thoughts, I know what you want
I can read your mind even from behind
And fuck what's in your phone, lemme take you home, I wanna take you home
Cause it's so rare that I'm here, don't plan on staying too long
So you should come here, sit your ass on this throne
This a special affair, better act like you know who I am, who I am
I bet this Patron make you feel nice and comfortable
Tryna act nice girl your cover's blown
But you already knew that
You already knew that
You already knew that
We can burn one
Biting in the dark, I might break your heart
I can get you high if you wanna climb
Cause fuck leaving alone
Let me take you home, I wanna take you home
Cause it's so rare that I'm here, don't plan on staying too long
So you should come here, sit your ass on this throne
This a special affair, better act like you know who I am, who I am
I bet this Patron make you feel nice and comfortable
Tryna act nice girl your cover's blown
But you already knew that
You already knew that
You already knew that
I bet this Patron make you feel nice and comfortable
Tryna act nice girl your cover's blown
But you already knew that
You already knew that
You already knew that
We can burn one
I bet this Patron, I bet this Patron
The song was really short, but it was pretty perfect for our group. We didn't have a guitar to add the light strums in, but it really was a tune that people could get down to. Plus, Lauren's voice sounded amazing with the song! The raspy tone and smoky quality brought a whole new interpretation to the R&B song.
We played a few more songs, and then we agreed that we would hold auditions Friday.
I waved as I drove off, but I didn't tell my friends where I was going. I was too embarrassed.
I sat in Dr. Hopkins's office with my mother. My stepfather was called into work at the hospital, so she came alone. Jamie was at her friend's house. I don't think she should know why I'm here.
She came in with a huge folder with paperwork excessively stacked within.
"So, the test results came back today." She began.
I nodded slowly, gripping my mother's hand, something I haven't done since I was twelve.
"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an anxiety disorder that can occur following the experience or witnessing of a traumatic event. A traumatic event is a life-threatening event such as military combat, natural disasters, terrorist incidents, serious accidents, or physical or sexual assault in adult or childhood."
I paused. What did she say?
"Y/N, are you paying attention?"
"Yeah, but can you backpedal for a moment? Did you just tell me I have PTSD?" I asked, my voice cracking.
"You witnessed a boy fall to his death." Dr. Hopkins told me. "You've been through quite a lot, Y/N. You see, I'm trying to trace back if you've had it before- with the accident four years ago?"
"Absolutely not-"
"You were terrified to get into a car for two months." My mom remarked. "Are you saying we could've done something more years ago?"
"I'm saying that perhaps Y/N needs counseling right now, and people to be there for her." Dr. Hopkins explained. "Do you have any one like that? Maybe a best friend? A partner?"
"M-My two best friends, Nate and Dinah. And my girlfriend, Camila."
"Camila has been very supportive of Y/N." My mom added.
"Was she there on the night of the incident?" Dr. Hopkins inquired.
"Yes." Mom nodded. "She was the most calm at the scene."
"And she wasn't affected by this at all?" Dr. Hopkins asked.
"I-I d-don't know, ma'am." I stuttered, getting really quiet.
"Could you bring Camila the next time we meet, Y/N?"
"Dr. Hopkins, she doesn't know I come here once a month." I bluntly stated.
"And why is that?" Mom questioned.
"She wouldn't care-"
"Now, don't say that. Camila cares about you very much, Y/N."
"This whole stupid thing was my fault, though!" I shouted. "I could've saved him!"
"Y/N, Camila had a connection to Shawn as well." Dr. Hopkins told me hesitantly, reading my file as if she was putting bits and pieces together. "This was not your fault. That officer has been fired and will be jail for the next year."
"...You're both right. I'll talk to her when she gets back from Cuba."
"Pardon?" Dr. Hopkins asked.
"She went to her hometown in Cuba for a wedding."
"Camila Cabello?"
"How do you know her name?" I asked.
"Y/N, there's something you don't know..."
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I called Dinah in the car. Therapy ended early today.
"Hello?" She picked up.
"Are you on break?" I asked, since she was working today.
"Yeah, why?"
"I found out something about Camila." I told her.
"Oh, God. It's not bad, is it?" Dinah asked.
"No... it's just... I learned about what really happened freshman year to her- the real reason why she transferred schools."
"Okay?"
"Dinah, Camila was suicidal. Her parents sent her to a therapist, specifically, my therapist-"
"You see a therapist?" Dinah asked. "I didn't know..."
"I have PTSD, Dinah."
"How long have you been keeping this a secret?" Dinah fumed, getting angry.
"I-I haven't. I've been having bad nightmares, so Camila told me to go get some tests done to make sure nothing was wrong. And my mom found Dr. Hopkins through insurance, and I went for a lot of tests. That's how I found out about my PTSD."
"And how did she know who Camila was?"
"She asked about my support system and stuff. And I mentioned you, Nate, and her. And then I mentioned she went to Cuba for a wedding and then she told me how she knew the Cabellos. She told me Camila was suicidal her freshman year because of Shawn dumping her and doing terrible things to her. Basically, he told everyone not to talk to her, pretending that she didn't exist anymore. That's why she was so upset when her parents took his court case. It all makes sense now."
"You need to talk to her." Dinah advised.
"She's at the wedding still."
"You need to talk to her." Dinah repeated.
"Okay. I will when I see her. I'm sorry, Dinah, I can't say this over FaceTime or over the phone. I have to tell her face to face Thursday on our date."
"Fine. We're not done talking about this." Dinah told me. "Camila hasn't told you everything. Doesn't that bother you?"
"I mean, a little. But do you realize how bad it must've been for her to not tell me?" I asked Dinah. "Shawn probably made her life a living hell. And yet she still wants to go save him in Miami."
"Camila is incredibly selfless."
"She should hate him! Oh, God."
"What?"
"What if she still loves him?" I thought out loud, trembling as I said those six words that scared me. "In my dream, she saved him and not me. Why?"
"Y/N, where are you?"
"The marina. I parked here to look at the water and think."
"Look, Camila has been in love with you for years." Dinah attempted to convince me. "Come on, she would never do that."
"He deserves to die for what he did to her."
"LISTEN TO YOURSELF!" Dinah yelled. "You're saying someone deserved to die? That's kind of fucked up, dude. Camila is a pacifist!"
"I... I need to be alone right now." I whimpered.
"You know you don't want to hurt Shawn, but I know you know how shitty it feels when no one cares about you. And he doesn't even know that no one cares enough to ask questions and find him. His parents are having a wake for a body they can't even find."
"We should just tell the police." I confessed. "Or his parents. They deserve to know the truth."
"Y/N, you're overthinking." Dinah told me. "You need to talk to her before you make any decisions. You guys are in this together. Now, open the car door."
I turned to see Dinah in a tank top, hoodie, and pajama pants with her phone pressed to her ear.
"Where the fuck did you come from?!" I shouted, rolling down my window and turning off my phone.
"I took an Uber." Dinah motioned for me to get out of the driver's seat and go to the passenger's seat. "Let's go. You shouldn't be driving like this."
I did as she told me, switching my seat and sitting back down. Dinah turned to me, but she didn't look angry. In fact, it looked like some sort of idea was being tinkered with behind her brown eyes.
"I have a plan- it means that you and Mila don't have to go to Miami, her parents win the court case, and Shawn gets justice."
"You have my attention."
"We have the evidence to prove that the only real 'bad guy' per say in this event is Sebastian. Sebastian was Shawn's role model; He taught him everything he knew. When Shawn came to the only person he could remember after the accident, which was him, Sebastian didn't even want anything to do with him. He put him on a plane and got him a job. An illegal job, at that. So, think about this- with a good defense, we can get someone, I don't know who- someone to help us find him. Nate gathered all that evidence. All the receipts and plane tickets. Sebastian can go to jail for not telling his parents. We just need to sit her parents down and tell them everything."
I was in shock. Dinah just said that? Why is she going to school for performing arts? She should go to school for law.
"That's the smartest thing you've ever said." I said in total awe. "Are you sure you don't wanna become a lawyer?"
"No way, I wanna see my kids, you fool." Dinah joked. "We need to go compile all of this stuff, like, right now. We'll head to my house where we can make tons of photocopies. Can Nate join?"
"Yeah, but I think you should explain this to Camila." I told her.
"When is she free?" Dinah asked.
"It was an early morning wedding, so she'll be back in an hour or two." I answered. "How is she going to react?"
"I don't know. But, hopefully, not too extreme." Dinah patted my back, started the car, and we drove off.
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"Are you sure you've thought about everything?" Camila asked, a little hesitant. The doors to her room were locked. Her family was packing for the trip back home.
"You've seen almost every document I have compiled together in this folder, Mila." Nate answered. "Dinah's plan is genius."
"It's just- I don't know, I want him to be okay." Camila stammered.
"They'll take good care of him when they send him to rehab." I explained. "His parents can visit once a month, and you and I can probably visit every five weeks. We'll be his friends."
"It's just- is Sebastian really at fault here?"
"Hell yes! That fuckboy has only made things bad for himself, and even worse for Shawn." Dinah replied. "We need to expose him in order to rehabilitate Shawn. You can't have a solution without the downfall of another."
"So, you're gonna fax all the information to my parents, with a letter explaining it all?" Camila reviewed. "Is this going to work?"
"It's all the evidence your parents need to prove Shawn is a victim." I told her. "Babe, we're going to be alright. He's going to be fine."
"Camila!" Sinu yelled. "How about we go get some dinner?"
"Give me fifteen minutes, Mom!" Camila yelled back. "I'm- um, shaving my legs!"
Dinah and I held back a laugh as Nate went to go make photocopies.
"Camila, you're an eighteen year old girl, not an orangutan." I giggled.
"Might as well be. Do you know where she's taking me on a date, Dinah?" Camila asked.
"Victoria's Secret?"
"NO!" Camila's cheeks turned pink. "She's taking me to the Rainforest Cafe."
Dinah erupted in laughter.
"Y/N loves it there." She said, as I walked out of the room, going to find Nate faxing over papers and statements.
"Need any help?" I asked.
"Emotionally, yeah." Nate said, stopping for a second. "Ally's parents found out."
Ally's parents are pretty religious. Not in a bad way, they just want their kids to have faith and trust that things will work out. However, when it comes to Ally dating Nate, they become extremely religious.
Sure, Nate went to Sunday school as a kid, but they cared that Nate knew boundaries and how to respect Ally. And the promise rings? That must've gotten a reaction out of them.
"What happened after that?" I curiously pried.
"They took me to the church, and made me take a vow of celibacy." Nate gave up. "I told my mom we went grocery shopping, and that's why I came home late."
"Are you gonna tell her?"
"Well, yeah. But not now." Nate admitted. "I love Ally a lot, but we're not in a rush, unlike some people."
"Hey, that was a jab at me." I chuckled, hitting Nate on the arm.
"Yeah, but we all knew you guys were gonna end up together." Nate beamed. "We just know that you're both chickens and you needed a little push."
"Well, thanks for that push." I laughed, as we finished faxing over the statement and all the other documents.
"Justice for Shawn." Nate said without hesitation.
"Yeah, Justice for Shawn." I repeated, going back to Dinah's room.
"It's all been photocopied over." Nate announced, falling onto the bed. "You should be getting it any-"
"SINU!" Alejandro shouted from the other room over the call. "Come here, you need to take a look at this!"
Camila smiled.
"I might just see you guys as early as tomorrow." Camila smiled. "They have a lot of work they need to start."
I smiled back.
"I'll be waiting right here."
"Um, no you won't." Dinah told me. "I will kick you out of my house. You have to go home."
"You won't kick us out." Nate teased.
"You wouldn't wanna be here with twenty three people." Dinah remarked.
We don't know how Dinah lived in such a big house with twenty three other people, but she did. It's also the reason she was the only one who threw parties.
Camila hung up minutes later, confirming she would be on the first flight home. Nothing made me happier to hear that.
I drove back home to have dinner with my family and finish up some homework. I went up to my room after cleaning up the table, and I sat in front of my keyboard. There's so much I wanted to say.
I wanted to write a song. I wanted to write a song for Camila.
Opening up Garage Band, I began to play around with melodies and pitches. I wanted a simple song, and as I was writing the song, it suddenly hit me- I can't write a simple song for her. Camila has been complex since the day I met her, with her quirks and weird fetishes. Quarter notes turned into eighth notes. I thought a lot about her, specifically about that weekend we went to the seaside. It was like falling in love with her all over again. That night, I wouldn't go to bed until one. I didn't get much sleep, and neither did Jamie, because she sleeps in the room right next to me.