I'M SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING BECAUSE PROCRASTINATION AND OTHER STUFF CALLED SCHOOL AND HOMEWORK!
so this is basically a fluffy chapter...full of fluff....
After this, there'll be one more chapter all about the wedding and well, the actual wedding, (and it'll probably take a really long time so...) and an epilouge.
song is on the side, it's one of my faves and Bryan Adams never gets old
xx
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Winter was finally settling in London. Snow wasn’t really falling yet, which was a bit strange. Usually winter is absolutely brutal. I was holding a cup of hot chocolate in my hands and looking through my window. Steam floated from the chocolate swirls and settled on the window. I smiled to myself and blew against it, making a little area for me to draw. I took my finger and drew a little stick figure. I quickly drew in a smiley face before he could fade away. I shrugged my shoulders. At least he disappeared from the world happily.
I glanced at the clock. The television lights shone against it, glaring my view but I was able to see that it was almost 12:30 in the morning. I took another sip of my now luke-warm cup of hot chocolate. Perrie was really late from her show.
Our house was unusually clean because my family was coming over for the holidays. Usually I had to be aware of a stray dog toy or a small stack of miscellaneous papers when walking through our halls. I tried to settle down into my couch and watch some ruddy late-night shows and terrible adverts. I yawned. Perrie’s probably just as tired as I was. Touring, interviews and basically everything takes a lot out of you.
It’s kinda weird though, I’m hardly around my family and friends anymore so it’s really nice. Thankfully, I wouldn’t have to be inside a studio for a few short weeks. As much as I love touring and hanging out with the boys, some nights I just want to be home. I yawned and Hatchi trotted over and jumped on my lap. I smiled and scratched behind his ears a bit. I missed this.
Suddenly the front door opened and Perrie stumbled in. She looked extremely tired and worn out. Her heels banged on the floor when she kicked them off. I instantly jumped off the couch and ran to go and help her. Up close, she didn’t look any better. Makeup covered her face, making her look like a complete Barbie doll and not the girl that I fell in love with.
“Perrie.” I spoke, the word just fell out of my mouth. She yawned and staggered to the couch. In one huge thump, she fell face forward where I was sitting at.
“Ow.” She murmured and turned over. I grabbed my blanket and covered her with it. She weakly smiled at me. “Thanks Zayn.” And slowly, she fell asleep. She looked like an angel, frozen in time, but not like the creepy ones you’d see on Doctor Who. Even at her worse, she was perfect to me.
I turned off the television and the rest of the lights. Then I placed Prada, who was roaming around the house, in Perrie lap so they could both fall asleep together. I smiled to myself and grabbed another blanket and sat on the balcony.
Snow was now starting to sprinkle from the sky in small clumps. I usually didn’t like being outside in the winter time but for some reason, this was an exception. I never noticed how the little things in life get unnoticed, like snow. It seemed magical, small white specks floating down from the sky. I never went outside when the snow came from the sky. Like most sane people, I was usually inside.
I stayed outside in the midst of all the white-ness of it until I knew I would catch a cold if I stayed outside any longer. I carefully closed the door and went to our bedroom. I carefully set my alarm so I could attempt to fix something nice for Perrie in the morning. It felt like she was really exhausted and tired of well, everything. She needed it. Hatchi jumped onto the bed and snuggled next to me. I petted his slightly matted fur as he yawned. First slowly, then all at once, I fell asleep.
My alarm seemed like it rang way too soon. It felt like I only slept for a few minutes. I rolled over in bed, careful not to disturb Hatchi. The LED lights of my clock read 11:45.
“Shit,” I muttered to myself as I got myself up. I tiptoed to the living room to check on Perrie. The cold wooden floor of our house was absolutely horrid on my bare feet. The faint sound of someone snoring echoed throughout the halls. I peered into the room. My angel was still asleep.
Stray locks of her hair covered her face and makeup from last night was still crusted on. Faint black rings heavily hung under her eyes. This was the image of pure exhaustion. There was no way that she was able to get up any time soon.
I was going to have to make breakfast for the both of us. This was going to be interesting. I found some slightly squashed apples and strawberries and cut them up into a small salad. This was probably the only thing I was able to make without doing much damage to the kitchen.
Next were the pancakes. I brought out a package of mix and started pouring water into it. I accidentally hit my elbow against the sink and poured a little too much water. I swore under my breath and poured in more mix. Unfortunately, that made the whole situation even worse because I but in way too much of the mix and now it was all screwed up. I poured it into the pan anyway…hopefully she wouldn’t mind.
“Zayn?” Perrie groggily called from the couch.
“Morning, Perrie.” I smiled to myself and looked around at the breakfast that I was making. Pancakes were on the frying pan, I already finished with the little fruit salad and was currently looking for the butter. Damn, since when was our fridge so full of shit? Soon the aroma of burning batter floated into the kitchen.
“What are you- oh my God is that burning?!” Perrie cried.
I immediately jerked my head up and banged it against the fridge door. I swore and ran to the stove and attempted to save the poor hockey pucks that formed on my pan. But it was no use, I was going to have to find a new pan and start fresh.
Perrie walked over towards me and hugged me. “It’s alright, Zayn. It’s the thought that counts. I mean, for once you woke up faster than I. Then again it’s nearly twelve.”
I leaned down and quickly kissed her. “No, I’m making this and we’re going to enjoy it together. I know it probably won’t be as good as yours but we’ll manage.”
She smiled back and murmured,” I can always order take-out.”
“Just get dressed.”
She looked down and realized that she was still wearing the stuff from last night. “Shit!” and she ran down the hall to the bathroom. I chuckled to myself as the shower nozzle switched on and turned my attention back to cooking.
Once she was out of the shower, looking way more relaxed, I finished setting the table with the sad breakfast I made…complete with Chinese take-out. She smirked when she saw that I was already trying to hide the second batch of burnt pancakes in the trash. I was never a good cook, sometimes I even burnt toast. But I wouldn’t trade good kitchen skills for her laugh once she saw me awkwardly push the bags away.
“Did they really deliver that fast?” she asked and settled down in her seat.
“I had to do a bit of explaining so they would come faster, no big deal.” I shrugged and proceeded to serve her some of the steaming food. She thoughtfully chewed for a moment but then noticed the stalk of phonebooks laying on the counter.
“Zayn, what’re those phonebooks for?” she asked pointing to them.
“I was looking for an ice arena, for you know, skating.” She crinkled her eyebrows in confusion and looked at me with a strange face. We both knew that I have the elegance of a newborn giraffe.
“Are you sure? I mean, last time we went you fell billions of times.”
I smiled back at her. “It’s fine. Besides, we haven’t had a proper date for a while. And my parents will be here soon and we probably won’t have much alone time then.” She nodded in agreement. This year, my family is coming to London for the holiday. I haven’t seen them for a while and I really missed them lots but that didn’t mean that we’d miss being alone together.
Once we finished, we piled the plates and cleared everything up. Perrie wrapped her arms around my waist and whispered, “I love you.” I wish every morning was like this.
*********
“Oh fuck. “ I muttered under my breath once my feet flew out from under me. In an instant, my bum thudded onto the cold hard ground. A giggle escaped Perrie’s lips before she could clasp her hands in front of her mouth. She gracefully glided over to me and tried to help me up. We’ve been here for barely twenty minutes and I’ve fallen several times.
“Ow.” She remarked,” That’s like your hundredth time that you fell.” I laughed and shook my head. She leaned over and offered her hand to me and I grabbed it. But once I did, I accidentally pulled her down too.
“Omff!” She tumbled onto the ground right next to me. Her facial expression was of pure annoyance. “Zayn, next time…not too hard.” She said. I got up and offered her my hand. She rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue.
“C’mon Perrie, people are looking and probably think I’m a shitty boyfriend right now.” I reasoned.
She grinned and retorted as she grasped my hand,” But you aren’t.” She rose to her feet and I attempted to make her twirl but we awkwardly fumbled around for a few seconds and ended up crashing into a nearby wall. She started laughing and quickly kissed me on the cheek. I started snickering too but suddenly noticed that people around us started staring and I could feel their judgmental eyes on our backs.
“Maybe we aren’t meant to be Olympic skaters,” Perrie joked and tightened her grip on my hand. “We should probably leave before we break the whole bloody rink.”
I smiled back and nodded my head. “We better return these skates then.” We skated off towards the entryway of the skating rink, hand in hand. Or at least, I attempted to not fall down onto the ground as Perrie half-dragged me across the ice. We’re a strange couple.
We were about to leave the rink when we heard a little girl’s voice above the small crowd saying,” Is that Perrie?”
I turned around and saw a petite girl rushing up to her. She was probably around seven years old and her little feet trotted towards us as fast as she could move them. A huge smile lit up her face. Her little beanie fell off in the process, left on the pavement to be trampled on by random strangers. Perrie knelt down and opened her arms for the little girl. She then broke their embrace and got up on her tip-toes to whisper something in Perrie’s ear. Perrie bit her lip and whispered back to her.
I smiled and looked around for her mother but I was a bit surprised that she didn’t notice me first. Normally, I’m the one being noticed by fan-girls despite the fact that I’m obviously not the most popular. I wasn’t being jealous. I was just surprised. A woman in her twenties with started rushing towards us. I assumed that she was the girl’s mum but could easily be her daughter’s older sister.
“Kirstie!” she called,” Please, don’t run off like that again.” She quickly stooped down to pick up her daughter’s hat.
“But Mum, this is Perrie!” Kirstie protested. Her mum rolled her eyes and shook her head.
Perrie added,” It’s alright, ma’am. Your daughter is so adorable.”
“Can I please take a picture of Perrie, me and Zayn?” Kirstie begged.
“We wouldn’t want to be trouble for them.” She reasoned and reached for her daughter’s small hand.
“It’s alright,” I said,” She’s so lovely and it wouldn’t take too long.” She nodded as Perrie and I stooped down to be beside Kirstie. The little girl’s smile stretched out from ear to ear as she hugged both me and her. After a quick bright flash from her mum’s phone, Kirstie walked away from us with her mum, but not before hugging Perrie again.
“Bye guys!” she cheerfully waved goodbye to us. I gently grabbed Perrie’s hand and we were on our way. We were just another couple, lost in the crowded streets of London. It wasn’t long before I noticed that Perrie was trying to not let me see her dab at her eyes. But it was apparent enough, she was tearing up.
“Hey Perrie, do you want to stop and I dunno…” I started to say and looked around for inspiration. A bright neon sign from an ice cream shop instantly caught my eye. “Get ice cream?”
She turned toward me and looked at me like I was insane. “Ice cream,” she stated,” In the middle of winter.”
“Hey, they’re open, might as well get some.” I protested.
She rolled her eyes and smiled at me. “Ok, why not?”
We entered the slightly crowded shop, which was a bit strange because it was winter. The smell of sweet artificial chemicals mixed with ice cream was tantalizing. There was a line and the poor teens that were scooping out the ice cream looked absolutely tired. We didn’t speak much in line. I wondered why Perrie didn’t want to talk to me.
“Hello sir, what shall be your order today?” One of the drones asked once we finally got to the front of the line. She had her disheveled hair sloppily tied into a ponytail and looked like she was trying not to fall asleep. She was probably a student from university.
“Yeah, could I have one scoop vanilla and one of strawberry with white maltesers , lightly drizzled with caramel and two scoops of mint chocolate with extra miniature chips?” I asked. Perrie smiled a bit, I never had to ask her what she wanted because I already knew. The worker nodded and quickly scooped our ice cream out. I glanced at Perrie who looked down at the ground. She still looked a bit upset about something.
“That’ll be five quid, sir.” The worker said.
I nodded and dug into my pocket for a note and handed it to her. Soon we were on our way again. We were, once again, in the middle of a crowded pavement with strangers hustling and bustling all around us. All the Christmas lights were up on all of the stores and people looked hung down with all of their shopping bags. London seemed so busy, especially during the holidays. Sometimes it was hard not to get caught up in all of the commercialization of everything.
We were drifting aimlessly in the bustling city, eating our ice cream. It had only been a few minutes since we left the store but to me it seemed like an eternity. Perrie still hadn’t said a word to me since we left the store.
“Do you want to sit down?” I asked her, motioning to a small bench near a little grassy area. She shrugged and we both settled down on the seat. For a few minutes we sat in silence, staring at our ice creams and pretending to enjoy them. The sweetness seemed to turn bitter for me, and was almost unbearable for me to finish it.
“Are we really a good couple?” Perrie asked.
I turned to her, confused. “What do you mean?”
“Sorry, that was out of the blue,” she shrugged. “It’s just…I never really noticed how many people look up to us. Somewhere far away, someone might put down the razor because he or she remembered a song lyric to keep strong. Some bullied teenager might not feel so alone because her idols also faced the same shit they’re going through right now.”
She paused to wipe a small tear from her eye. “That little girl from the rink told me that she can’t wait for her mum to find her own Zayn. She told me that she wants to be happy just like we will be when we get married. We’re just so young. Are we doing the right thing? I know we, by far, aren’t the best couple and…”
The two cups of ice cream, by now, were long forgotten. I took Perrie’s hand and looked straight into her eyes. They were full of fear and uncertainty. “Look, babe…we don’t have to get married right away if you don’t want to.”
“No, I didn’t mean that…” she replied,” It’s just that, why do people look up to us? We’re not even close to that perfect couple she thought we were.”
“Does it matter?” I pointed out. “I used to think stuff like that when we first started dating but now, whenever I’m with you, it feels like the only people in the world are you and me.”
She reached out to me and I put my arm around her. For a while we just sat there, in the cold December evening, watching everyone passes us by. It was cold out but to me, it was hardly noticeable. It seemed like there was a bubble around us, isolating us from everything else. It was like we were in our own little world, perfect.
As we walked back, I suddenly realized that I didn’t get her a Christmas present. A heavy feeling settled in my stomach as I watched faceless strangers tote around their presents for their loved ones. The shop lights lit up the night, making it hard to see the stars. Traffic was busy on the streets, their lights showing the way. It was like we were stuck in a sort of reverie, absent-minded about the world.
“Err…Perrie?” I asked.
“Yes?”
I bit my lip and glanced down at the ground, avoiding her eyes. “I never got you a Christmas gift and well…I guess I am a shitty boyfriend. I never knew what you wanted.”
For a moment it was like the whole world was silent, waiting for her response. But she laughed and shook her head. “I don’t need anything for Christmas, Zayn.”
I was confused. “I thought you…”
She broke into a smile and replied,” I don’t want anything, babe ‘cause I have you.” She looked up and pointed up above us. I looked up and above a small doorframe that we were standing near hung a spring of mistletoe. “You know the tradition.” She said and soon her soft lips were on mine. But our kiss was cut short because people around us started to look and it was still freezing outside. We smiled to each other and started walking once again. I wish that it could’ve stayed that way forever.