Broken pieces of
A barely breathing story
Where there once was love
Now there's only me
And the lonely
______
For her unusual skills, Transfiguration should have been her favourite subject. But the teacher was Dumbledore. And he was the Head of the Gryffindor House. And Gryffindor House was the worst enemy of the Slytherin one.
Susan wished they had a different teacher, for she wanted to improve her abilities, that she wanted to keep secret from a wizard like Dumbledore.
The teacher's favourite was a Scottish Gryffindor girl from the third year, called Minerva McGonagall.
Susan just hated her more when she saw that her name was on the list of the contestants for the Transfiguration Today Most Promising Newcomer Award. Susan was still too young to join that.
"If she was our same age, I'd have been her greatest rival".
"I thank it's not. You are the best of our year" Ophelia dragged her away from the announcement.
"Transfiguration isn't one of my fave subjects, for obvious reasons" commented Lucretia.
"Even if you like Dumbledore?" Ophelia elbowed her.
Lucretia shuddered "I don't like him. I don't care about any of the professors".
"Oh yeah, my mistake. You like Kettleburn. We had our first class with him yesterday. He's charming, isn't he Susan?".
"I'd say yes. He's just.. Odd?".
Lucretia rolled her eyes "He's not odd, just misunderstood".
"He says we're gonna see a unicorn soon. Who ever saw a unicorn in the last decades here?".
"Maybe this is the lucky time".
Susan would have loved to see one, but she wasn't keeping high hopes, even knowing how much meeting a unicorn would have been fruitful.
After the herbology lesson in the open air, she stopped watching the bushes of roses.
"But he who dares not grasp the thorn, should never crave the rose" a male voice told behind her, then his hand took some blossoms offering to her.
"Why the hell did you have to pick those flowers, Avery? To let me see them dry and die?" She scolded him.
Avery rolled his eyes "Oh, come on. I only meant to be gentle".
"There's no way you can win over her" Lestrange arrived with a cocky smile and took the flowers from his friend's fingers "But this can be helpful with some lovely girls from first year".
Susan knew that Ophelia had a crush on him, but to her it was just a silly game.
First year kids were already acting as they ruled the castle and that was very annoying.
Susan just thanked she wasn't a prefect, even if some of them dared to ask for her help.
Some of the girls were very noisy like they owned the Common Room.
Susan was trying to study but usually exchanged bored glances with Ophelia, whose funny espressions made her grin.
One first year girl was pretending she had some secret affair with Tom. That caught Susan's attention. She was planning something against her, when suddenly that girl stopped talking and Susan guessed why.
Tom just walked into the room with some books under his arm.
Ophelia barely held a laugh.
Tom stopped behind Susan and searched for her eyes, but she just smirked at the first year girl who tried to hide her embarrassment.
Susan felt his hand touching her shoulder, his innocent voice asking "What's up?".
She looked up at him amused "Mina here called you 'my Tom'. I didn't know you could belong to someone".
He sent a hard look to the girl, making her become brightly red and with watering eyes she ran away.
"So wicked" commented Ophelia bursting out laughing.
"Better a broken heart now than keeping illuding with stupid dreams".
Ophelia sent her a fake warning glare "Don't pretend to be more expert than me".
"I would never dare" Susan moved to make space for Tom to sit on the couch and focused again on the homeworks.
She wasn't feeling jealous. She noticed too that he was just getting more cute and many girls were dreaming on him, but she was sure she had no reason to worry. Nobody of them could understand him better than her and he didn't seem interested in any love game.
Same for her. She was just enthusiast to secretly break rules with him after the curfew. They were sharing all the knowledge they were gathering and there was no place for anything else.
And she couldn't ask for anything better.
"You're better at manipulating the teachers" she stated staring at Tom with a you-know-it-better-than-me gaze.
"Perhaps. But this time you can do a better job than me".
They needed those ingredients. The herbology store was forbidden to them.
"And why is that?".
Tom didn't look up from the notes he was scrabbling on a piece of paper "Beery fancies you".
"What the hell?!" She stared at him in disbelief. She just heard a word she never thought it could have ever come out from his mouth.
He put down his quill and looked at her amused "You're the only one who can't notice it. But trust me, he would do anything for you".
Susan just rolled her eyes "Poor man".
"Because you like someone else?".
She avoided his eyes, raising her shoulders "Perhaps, but definitely not him".
"Well, better for him not to know that. Your high grades in Herbology depend a lot on you being his favourite student, you know that".
She gave him a hard look "Okay, then. You won, again. I'll go to talk to him".
"Good luck" he said smirking when she passed over him.
She just replied with an annoyed glance.
Being adored by the teachers was very useful, but Susan preferred Tom to deal with it. He had a natural talent in getting whatever he wanted. He knew when to be charming and what words to use to make the people vulnerable. And nobody seemed able to take his disappointed gaze.
Susan helself felt quite uneasy in front of that outstanding talent of him, even if she wanted to believe he didn't dare to use that on her and she tried to imitate him.
Professor Beery's face was soon lit by a big smile when he saw her walking into his office "Miss Black, what can I do for you?".
She pondered her words "I came to ask you for a favor, sir".
"Anything, my dear. Ask away".
"I was wondering if I can borrow some alihotsy. I know I should ask to professor Slughorn...".
He let out a light laugh "It's stuff for fifth year kids. I admire your love for trying new things, but don't go too far".
She felt bad as if she made a wrong step. She was supposed to get what she needed "Of course, sir. It's just.. Experimental".
He nodded raising his hands "Alright then. No need to say that I trust you".
She didn't care about his trust, laid on the wrong person. She just cared of one person's faith in her.
And seeing that person's satisfied grin when she showed she completed her mission was her favourite reward.
Beyond every expectations, professor Kettleburn's prediction turned out to be real. The unicorns were back.
And after some lessons spent in seeking them and trying to approach them, one unicorn seemed sharing the human curiosity. Girls were enthusiast to meet the white horned horse, which appeared to be a new celebrity.
"Miss Black, come on. You can try too" the teacher soon noticed she wasn't pressing to approach the animal.
She waited the last girl to greet the unicorn, then she stepped forward carefully. She wondered how that heavenly beast could have taken all that girlish attention, when she heard rumours that unicorns only let be approached just by people with a pure heart.
All her insecureness vanished when the animal bowed its head like to easy her touch.
She smiled relieved, caressing its soft hair, feeling accepted.
Later she showed the few hair she collected to Tom, handing him a small crystal bottle with them.
"Take them. It can be useful more to you than me".
"How can you know?".
"I do. I'd just waste them. You are better at keeping things".
He carefully took the bottle from her fingers "Alright. Just ask them back if you'll ever need them".
"What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine?".
He crossed her eyes with a grin "Of course".
Susan was walking in the corridors when she bumped into a teacher.
"Mrs Vablatsky" she greeted.
"Miss Black. I'm glad you're not running away now as you do at the end of my lessons" the tall woman grinned.
"I don't run away. Just tiredness" Vablatsky owned both Astronomy and Divination and was a very eccentric woman. Susan just didn't want to deal much with her.
"As you say, dear" quite rudely the woman grabbed her face with her skinny fingers and forced her to look into her mysteriously deep green eyes.
"You have your father's eyes" she whispered with a glint of sadness "Wicked fate his. At least he lives on in you".
Susan retreated lowering her head, deeply shaken.
"I'm sure he'd be proud of you".
The girl wouldn't have been so sure. That witch couldn't know the many secrets and bitterness buried inside her.
Susan reached the lavatory for washing her face with cold water, that helped her confused mind to calm down.
She noticed a familiar face passing her by without saying anything.
"Lucretia?".
Her cousin kept walking and closed herself into a stall.
Susan frowned confused but followed her.
"Lu, what's wrong?" She banged on the door, but got no reply. Just soft sounds of sobs.
"What's wrong with Lucretia?" She asked to Ophelia when she was back to the Common Room.
"Oh, that. Try to guess. Feelings" she evilly grinned.
Susan let herself fall on the couch "The hell. I don't even know if I want to know. But what happened? The boy rejected her?".
"Worse. He's cheating. He showed he was interested in her, then started dating another girl" Ophelia shared in detail all she knew about it and her opinions. She was the best sources for the latest gossips and rumours.
"Cheating in order to get a reaction and make the other jealous?" Susan commented with disgust "That's really stupid. That's the dumbest plan. And even unfair for the other girl who gets cheated".
"Yeah. It just make things more complicated. If you like someone just be brave and tell the truth. If that someone doesn't like you back, move on".
"I agree. I would never forgive someone who dares to hurt me to force me to like him back" she didn't know much on the matter, but she was sure of what she wanted.
Ophelia didn't reply but looked worried at something behind her back.
Susan turned to follow her gaze and caught Tom's eyes before he lowered them to his papers.
"What's your opinion, Tom?" Susan asked to make him partecipate "We'd like to know a boy's point of view".
He seemed disliking the involvement "I..never thought much about that. But I'd say I agree with your point of view".
She narrowed her eyes "Really or just to flatter us?".
Tom just blankly stared at her, stating harshly "Really".
The Lucretia who came back from the bathroom appeared like a dark witch, so determinated to get revenge. So much that she asked to be called Nemesi, greek for revenge.
Susan disapproved it. That behaviour didn't fit her. It was suitable for someone troublemaker as Warburga. But it was also a new proof that feelings just drive people insane.
Few weeks later Lucretia was back to her old self, except for a omnipresent satisfied grin. The cheater was destroyed and humiliated, but the price was also points taken from Slytherins.
Susan wondered how some lazy students could complain that they were bored, when there was so much to study and entertaining activities of all sort.
She was exhausted.
It was dining time and Ophelia was gossiping with the other girls around her, when they turned their topic on Tom.
Susan knew he didn't come to eat that evening, as sometimes he skipped meals. But she got why the girls were chatting about him when she turned and saw the boy marching into the Hall.
Tom walked straight to her, ignoring the many eyes that were following him.
"I need your help" he said with a low urgent tone.
She just got to the dessert, but agreed to follow him. Her hungry stomach could wait.
"What happened?" She asked as soon as they walked out from the Great Hall.
"Not here" he just kept walking fast, till he reached the boys lavatory in the dungeons.
"Hey! I can't go there" she complained.
He just grabbed her wrist and dragged her there with impatience.
Luckily there was nobody there, but she felt so out of place.
Tom kneeled in front of one sink and when he stood up again he was holding a snake.
"You're kidding me" she blurted shocked "You took that into the castle?".
"Oh come on, Susan! I found it here. A first year boy was scared and run to call someone before I could stop him. So we need to hurry. Help me take it out from here before.. You know".
She understood his care, so couldn't say no. But it wasn't easy "It's pouring with rain outside. They locked all the doors".
"I know" he nodded for her to follow him and ran out from the lavatory, hiding in a deserted corridory.
They reached the entrance hall, but as guessed it was surveiled. Only after the curfew they had some possibilities, as they were used to do. So they closed themselves into a safe empty room and waited.
"You didn't eat" she noticed sitting on a dusty bench.
"I'm fine" he kept taking care of his new friend and whispering "It was just looking for a dry place to hide. All this rain made it sick too. It's stubborn, wants to stay here. If only that bloody mudblood didn't scream and run to ask help".
"There's no place here to hide it till tomorrow?".
"We have exams tomorrow. I can't take it with me. And I can't risk.. Anyway, sorry for involving you".
"It's alright. I want to help".
"I interrupted your dinner too, for this".
"We can sneak into the kitchens later".
He nodded comforted "Good plan".
Time passed and when they got out in the corridor it was darker and silent. And the way was free.
Susan broke the spells protecting a secondary small door.
"You need something against the rain" she shivered at the heavy cold rain out of the door.
"Never mind. Keep the door open. I'll be right back".
He rushed outside and Susan could just wait.
Minutes passed but he was still gone. She started to become impatient, each second put her more in danger.
They were used to do anything together when they were breaking the rules. They covered each other's back and there was no need to wait.
She even wished that snake was dead. She could have been in her warm dormitory taking some blessed rest.
Some noises alarmed her. It wasn't from outside.
The caretaker, she guessed. Mr Ridge. A bloody ugly nasty short squib.
To make it more dangerous, Tom decided to come back right in that moment.
She pulled him inside and hurriedly closed the door restoring the protection spells.
"Why did it take so long?" She complained watching his wet hair and clothes, his shoes full of mud.
"Who's there?" A husky voice echoed.
They both froze, then silently sneaked to a dark corner, Tom whispered some spell to delete his dirty footprints.
"I'll deal with him" he stared at the menacing shadow that was approaching.
She pulled him to a better hide "No, I will".
"It's my fault. I wanted this. I tried to be fast but.. complications".
"Come out! I know you're here!" The man singed menacingly. He was detestable as Peeves the Poltergeist.
Susan pulled the boy to the nearest escape "We're in this together. But you can't show yourself like this".
"I'm not leaving you with that dwarf" he tried to move back, but she blocked him standing in front of him.
"No" she pushed him oj the opposite direction "Go! Take the secret passageway".
"I can enchant him".
"It's too dangerous. We need you to keep at least your reputation at the best. And you're wet and covered with mud now, so I'll deal with it. You go now".
Tom shook his head while the nasty voice came to tickle them again.
"Come out! Hiding won't save you now".
Susan grabbed the boy's arm squeezing hard "We can't get caught together! Go, please. We don't have time to argue. Trust me at least once".
He inhaled, but obeyed taking the passage..
She closed the small door behind him and straightened her back. If only she had to deal with a corruptible prefect. She couldn't use her ability, she could just be herself.
"Come out! Last chance".
She stepped out from the corner, meeting the curious gaze of the short caretaker.
"Aww. What a lovely mouse. Waiting for your valentine?" He taunted her amazed.
"I was just.. I got lost".
Someone else appeared behind mr Ridge.
Susan realized how much in trouble she was.
"Oh, come on, Black" professor Merrythought clicked her tongued with disappointment "You're not a first year. You always managed to avoid detention, but I guess this time you can't find a good excuse".
Another teacher joined them "It should be Horace's work".
Susan moved her eyes from the old woman to professor Binns, the stern teacher of History of Magic.
The witch tightened her lips "Yes, but he's not here. And without the cat the mice are already dancing, aren't we Black?".
The wizard shuddered "Whatever, Galatea. I'll go to sleep now. 'Night".
Susan watched helpless an ally walking away.
"What were you really doing here?".
"I already told.. I got lost. I needed the bathroom, and walking I ended up here".
The old witch's eyes narrowed "What should I do to get the truth out from you? Why are you here after the curfew?".
"What would I ever could do here?".
The teacher disliked that "Do not reply to a question with another question. That's rude. Alright, keep your secrets, but you'll take detention now. No delays. Or to be faster I'll take fifty points from Slytherin".
"No!" The girl shivered at the thought. It would have been too much humiliating "I'll take detention".
"We could take some points and give a light punishment" the woman offered trying to appear merciful.
"No" Susan stated coldly "I won't make lose some points to my house for my mistake. I accept the detention.. Whatever it is".
The witch seemed taking it as a challenge. She nodded to the caretaker "Ridge, one hour can be enough. I hope it will be enough to teach you the lesson, Black".
She believed it couldn't be that bad. She massaged her arms, remembering the pain of the cuts she had to get used to. She still had scars she didn't want to heal.
Susan was taken to the worst floor in the dungeons, a place of horrors and tortures.
She had to enter in a cold dirty room and the door was locked behind her. She tried to unlock it but magic was useless on it.
Maybe the detention was just an hour of meditation.
Instead soon she realized it was the worst torture she could have ever imagined. She had to live again the darkest moment of her traumatic childhood.
Her parents died again right in front of her eyes, all her efforts to avoid that were useless. The obscurial destroyed everything and didn't give her the grace of the death, the end of all that suffering.
Susan cried and screamed helplessly, but nobody came to save her, again.
And reality and time lost meaning.
Suddenly the door opened.
She feared a new menace and stood up from the damp corner she was hiding.
She recognized the boy, Tom. And she pointed the wand against him.
"Susan, it's me. It's all over" he whispered quietly.
She shook her head exhausted "No, not you. Stop now".
He turned pale and raised his bare hands "Susan, it's really me. It's over. You're safe now".
He moved forward but she screamed menacing "Stop! Don't move!".
He obeyed hurt and stayed still staring at her, who was keeping her breath trying to understand what wicked trial was now that. But she couldn't think anymore.
Her wand fell from her hand, she was just too tired to keep fighting. She sat back in the corner, hiding her face behind her arms.
Seconds later she felt a hand on her shoulder and she jumped, trying to pushed him away.
"Susan, it's over. I'm here!" He insisted "Look at me".
She tried to resist, confused and ashamed, but he took her face into his hand and forced her to stare right into his eyes.
"It wasn't real. Those were just boggarts. You're safe. It's over now".
He took her into his arms and she just cried, even if she hated crying in front of other people. Most of all she hated that right Tom had to see her like that. But he never appeared to be annoyed, he just held her, making her feel accepted even with her weakness.
The tears just fell, time passed.
When her face was dry again, he helped her stand up and walk away from that nightmare.
~~~
Cast updates:
Evan Rachel Wood as Ophelia Higgs
Eva Green as professor Cassandra Vablatsky (Divination and Astronomy)